Chapter 1
I Don't Deserve Happiness
Chapter 1
I stared down the long distance I was from the grey cracked cement . A side of me willing to jump off this thin edge , but another side not wanting to leave this world. I thought about it stepping on and off the edge deciding . " Ugh!" I clawed my hands through my long hair. I couldn't .. I couldn't it would be to painful for me.. it was such a hard way to die..
" Oh my god!" A small group of girls at the bottom of the building I was standing on screamed. " She's gonna jump!" One pointed up at me.
I feel bad for them .. because in a little bit they would see my broken bloody lifeless body in their face . I'm sure that would scar one person forever.
All the high school students out side for break quickly gathered to see me the girl standing up on a thin fragile edge on the class room's roof top .
It so funny.... no one cared about me.. but on the day I'm about to end my life they suddenly cared so much they came to watch me fall to my death....
" Get down from there!" A few teachers shout down below me.
I heard heavy running foot steps running up the stairs coming to the roof top. " Miss! " Mr. Kim shouted.
I turned to look at the five teachers standing behind me 15 feet away.
" I'm sure there's another way ! Just please get down from there child!" Miss Jung said.
I set my foot on the edge looking up and then down. I can't do this.. but..I suffered so much.. I can't take it any more .. I can't take this anymore.. If I do this I can't turn back..I would feel so much pain when I meet the grey cracked cement..my body and bones would be broken .. It would hurt so much. But the pain would be gone.. It would soon be over.. I won't have to suffer this pain any more. It would be done.. no one could hurt me anymore .. I would finally be at peace...
I turned back to look at the teachers there behind me with a horrid face expressions. " Don't do this Miss!" One of the teachers took tiny steps towards me.
"No! Don't come near me ! If you do I'll jump this instant !" I shouted.
He quickly took a few steps back.
"I'm sorry! Please get down from there !"
"....I can't .." I looked down the building and then up back at them.
" Let me come get you down then .." Miss Jung said coming closer.
"Don't you dare come near..I really meant what I said a few seconds ago." I shouted.
We suddenly heard the door slam open *bam* I saw a really young boy with blonde hair running towards me. He ran towards me without yielding not afraid that I would jump off if he got near me. I was about to threaten him to leave me be. " Don't -"
In a flash I was yanked off the edge of the building on to the middle of the roof top floor on top of the boy who had just pulled me. I frozed on top of him .. It was my first time seeing a boy up this close in my face. He was so close to my face I can feel his breathing on my face. My face flushed and my heart beated rapidly.
For a second I thought of what would it feel like to love some one.. and be hugged by them..
" Are you crazy ?!" He shouted at me worried his doe eyes watery .
"..." I pushed the blonde boy off of me.
How dare he interfere with my life!
" Are you okay? What were you thinking??" Miss Jung came over to me helping me stand up.
" Don't touch me!" I shouted when the blonde boy reach out his hand to support my body when I got up.
"...." He stared at me with a sadden expression.
" How could you?.." I said looking at him straight in the eyes." How could you take away my freedom?.." I ran after sending him a hard push. He stood there with a frozen expression.
" Hey -" Miss Jung shouted after me.
I ran as fast as I could to the end of the back of the building I tried to jump off . The back of the building was infront of the long field of green grass . There students played soccer, ran , or couples might come and lay in the grass to stare up into the sky and where the P.E takes places during class periods. I jumped into a bush at the side of the building to hide so they won't find me .
I squeezed onto myself tight so my clothes won't be shown through the bush. I know its wrong that I'm hiding but..I don't want them to take me to a mental hospital . I don't want to stay with those people I don't want be thought as a crazy person ...
I peeked seeing the boy with doe eyes looking around turning head . His face covered in a worried expression. Tears in his eyes threatening to fall , he shouted my name ..He was looking for me ...
He ran off into a different direction searching for me.
Miss Jung and a few other teachers ran off in different direction. " We need to find her! What if she attempts to commit sucide again?"
I quickly tucked my self back in the bushes. As the teachers ran past the building.
I let out a huge sigh as all the teachers ran off.
" Nice hiding spot."
I quickly turned to that voice..
He smirked staring down at me.
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