Chapter Forty

“H-Hee Young? Are you here?”

“No, this is her secretary speaking,”

22nd of March 2015

The first day wasn’t as bad as she thought—apart from nearly falling from the top of the mountain, having to fish from the river for their own dinner after a long day of doing things and she couldn’t be more glad that it was almost coming to an end. By almost, there’s about two more days left, one more night of sleeping in a tent with three guys—it wasn’t as pleasant as it is to the eye and believe her, what happens inside isn’t like a typical slumber party either. Definitely there was a lot of snoring, kicking, getting hit in the face by someone’s hand and by someone, it was either Kai, Minseok or Lay—she doesn’t even know how the someone’s hand can reach her from across the tent.

She may be rough but hey, she’s a female—there are still boundaries, right?

Here she was after two days of water rafting, rock climbing, treasure hunting, more fishing, terrible roasting of fishes, too many damned bones getting stuck in between her teeth—yeah, this is one hell of a MT, as what Lay said before everything started. But, she has to admit that it does take her mind off from all the hustle and bustle of the city life. She was the type to be quiet and observant but she’ll talk if she needs to, which brings her to this situation where she’s sitting down on a rock not too deep in the forest because she wanted to clear her mind before she would head to the tent to sleep.

Here she was looking around, recollecting small memories of when she was a child, a girl who once had a father there beside her, who once had a little brother to call her noona, the older sister to call her one of the littlest brats ever but she loves with her whole heart, a mother who cared and loved her like she was the world—one whole perfect, happy family, crushed within a few years—even if she saw it coming, she doesn’t know if she would fully be prepared for that. Here she sat down, leaning her back against the tree trunk behind her and she let out a sigh, shaking her head as she closed her eyes for a moment to appreciate the peace and quiet she’ll never experienced again in the city because there are too many damned cars. She could feel the breeze rustling gently against her skin, scraping the leaves from the ground, the branches swaying left and right as her eyes opened to see that graceful sight but her attention was easily transferred when she heard footsteps.

“H-Hee Young? Are you here?”

“No, this is her secretary speaking,”

Minseok chuckled and stepped forward a few more times, peeking over the trees that blocked the person he wanted to see the most, grinning at her the moment he could see her perfectly, “Ah, really?”

“Yeah, would you like to leave her a message?”

The boy smiled widely once more, approaching her with warmth as he sat down beside her, “As a matter of fact, I do…but I don’t know how to tell her,”

She noticed the change in his voice, that pinch of something that she couldn’t interpret, his eyes definitely losing that spark in his eyes when he looked away from her eyes, head hanging low as he clasped his hands together, elbows resting on his lap and he was at lost for words because he doesn’t know how to tell her. What started off as a funny joke… may not end up to be so funny—and he can’t guarantee who would be even laughing in the end; if any of them could, that is.

Minseok felt a hand on his shoulder and he knew she only meant kindness—she was worried and he appreciated that but he’ll need to learn how to live without having her by his side and a part of him felt disheartened by that but the sooner he accepts that, the better, happier he could be in his life without depending on someone else to be happy, without giving someone his heart without a thought—Minseok needs to learn, and he wants to. M-Min… her voice was soft, mellow like the wind that grazed his skin, sending the shivers down his spine as her words sink into him; you know you can tell me anything…

He gave a nod, eyes still not looking at her just yet, I… I know I can, but…

But what…?

But…
 

“Minseok… this is the-“

“I know,” Minseok nodded, sliding his paper on the table to reach it to the person sitting behind it. She held onto the paper and then glanced up to the latter, “Y-You… you want to carry on your last year there?”

Minseok nodded silently and his mind has been made up. She sighed and placed the paper down, giving him a proper look, “But you’ve been denying every time I ask you to continue your last year there. Why now? Why when you’re already so—”

Minseok exhaled before shaking his head, looking away with a heavy heart, “Can you please approve the paper work for me? I… I’m in a hurry to my next class.”

“When’s your flight?”

Minseok gazed down to the floor, playing with his fingers, “Next month.”

“Are you really sure you want to finish your major there? W-What about—”

Minseok looked up to nod at the woman by the table, giving her a firm, “Yes.”

Minseok exhaled deeply before lifting his head up, turning his head to look at Hee Young straight in the eye because he needs to—he wants to be able to look at her and say the words he know will either break him, her or both together. He wants to be the strong one for once, regardless whether it’ll be the last time, it didn’t matter. He wanted to be brave, he wanted to take the leaping stone, the first step and say I’m going to UK for my final year.

Hee Young was almost thrown off, caught off guard as Minseok was able to catch that immediate change in her eyes, her hand slowly slipping away from his shoulder, breath suddenly disappearing, words unable to leave her lips even though she should be bombarding him with questions by now.

All she managed to say, to mutter softly, to whisper quietly was w-what…?

Minseok shifted his gaze almost too quickly, unable to look at her anymore when he knows he can’t do it the way he planned to in his mind. He wanted it to be a clean explanation, he wanted it to be like in the movies, short and simple but this was tougher than he thought because Hee Young’s eyes just looked too beautiful up close to hurt.

He took a moment of silence, allowing his words to sink into her before he continued, I-I’ve thought long and hard about this… I’ve talked to my mom, my lecturer, the counselor, I’ve talked to everyone about this—

But me, Hee Young spoke up, causing Minseok to snap his head back at her, seeing that look in her eyes that still worried for him. It was true, after all and he had nothing to hide. So he ended up stammering, I… I didn’t know how… I didn’t know what you’d say, I was afraid that you would get—

Mad? She sighed and expressed the way she felt by, why would I get mad when you’re doing something for your future?

Minseok shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands, I… I don’t know… Even I had a hard time deciding… I want to be independent, I want to show you that I’ll be fine on my own and I can stand my ground in another country…

Upon listening to his honesty, the sincerity the dripped word after word, who was she to say no? Who was she to stop him from doing what he wanted to do—regardless whether it was his first choice or not—she wasn’t the type to drag Minseok down, if anything, she was the one boosting him up all this time and seeing him wanting to get up and fly, soaring up into the sky with his own wings, she could not be happier despite the bittersweet feeling in her gut knowing that she wouldn’t see him as often anymore. It was hard to accept at first but after hearing the way he explained it, his words, his determination—she couldn’t hold him back.

Without waiting for a beat, when’s your flight?

He mumbled the words into his hands but she could make up that he said two weeks from now…

Does Junmyeon know about this?

He’s the one who suggested this.

And what about the lodging? Accommodation?

Jongdae knows a friend there, he’s helping us out.

…what about packing up?

Minseok moved his face from his hands, turning to look at her, trying to be cheeky… as well as creating last minute memories, I was hoping you’d help me with that.

Hee Young scoffed a laugh and closed her eyes when she felt something poking her heart, something causing her eyes to water, something that made her breathing came out in shaky inhales and exhales because her best friend was going to leave, to another country that takes more or less half a day to reach where he would be, someone who she was so used to seeing every day to… once or twice.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving a soft squeeze, “H-Hee Young…”

“I’m happy for you,” She mumbled softly, her eyes opening before she looked at him, “You deserve this…”

“…so you’re helping me pack?”

“I’ll even bring you to the airport you idiot,” She muttered under her breath, bringing him into her embrace as she gave him a hug, one that had him smiling because he knows that even if this would be one of the last hugs he’d receive from her, this was going to be one of the moments he’d look back on and say she’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I fell in love and fell out of love with her, I got my heart broken many times by just this girl but I would proudly say that it is worth it. And with the very tight hug she gave him, one that had him the back of her head as he held her near, drawing her in, feeling her heartbeat next to his as he said I’ll miss you, Hee Young…, she squeezed him tight and assured him with not only just her actions that he’ll hold a spot in her heart, that his presence has always made her days brighter, less lonelier, filled with laughter and joy but also with her words.

I’ll miss you too, Kim Minseok.

“You should’ve seen Lay fishing just now, he nearly fell into the river,”

“You fell in the river yesterday,”

“That was yesterday…” Minseok huffed, lightly poking Hee Young by the waist as she continued to rest head against his shoulder. It was just for a few seconds that they let the silence envelope them in before she murmured, whose shoulder can I lean on when you’re gone?

He grinned and playfully shook his shoulder to make her lean away so she’d see that look on his face, you can lean on Kai’s... and then it was followed by an ‘ouch!’ before he rubbed a spot on his forehead, frowning at her, “Why deny something that you’ll do, anyway?”

“Kim Minseok…”

“Alright, I’ll drop it,” He rolled his eyes, looking away to ahead of all the trees where he saw that somewhere in between, there’s definitely someone who had just step into the woods. Minseok got up instinctively, trying to take a peek at whoever that was because that definitely was not just the wind, “W-Who’s there?”

Two hands were raised before a body was revealed, a timid voice mumbling after the rustling of the leaves as they brushed against one another because of the cold breeze, “S-Soon Hae! I-It’s just me!” 

Hee Young nearly groaned as she pushed her back against the tree trunk, “Minseok, kill me now,” She muttered softly, causing Minseok to snort as he looked over his shoulder, “You survived mountains, flying fox, almost,” He paused halfway because of the glare she gave him but he went on, "water rafting, jungle trekking and even fishing but you can’t handle a girl?”

Hee Young scoffed and kicked his shin, “Just because you’re leaving you’re acting like a bigshot.”

“S-Sorry but… Minseok, can I talk to her in private?”

He chuckled for a second or two, before ruffling Hee Young’s hair, “Scream if you need my help,”

“Wow, that’s very helpful,”

“Oh hush, I’ll be watching,” Minseok whispered softly as he dipped down to say that into her ear, before turning around just to gently brush past Soon Hae to get out of the woods when really, he’d be standing somewhere nearby to get a good look just so Soon Hae doesn’t do anything fishy again. And no, it’s not the fish that’s fishy. He did hand motions that he’ll be watching from the other side of where she was at and that’ll give him a rather clear view of where they are.

Once Minseok took his leave, Hee Young was left to putting her hands into her pockets of her hoodie, her eyes disinterested because it’s not like you can be nice to someone who had literally push you off the edge…of a mountain.

 “C-Can we talk?” Soon Hae’s voice was shaken up entirely, as if she’s the victim here.

Hee Young couldn’t bite back the venomous feeling in her gut, boiling within her and seeping out in words of sarcasm, ”It depends—are you going to try to kill me again?”

Soon Hae almost too abruptly came towards Hee Young’s side, making the girl instinctively shift away the moment she sat down beside her. Soon Hae exhaled deeply and turned to look at her, “I’m not going to hurt you,”

“Yeah, you said be my partner and you pushed me off the mountain.”

She rolled her eyes, “I didn’t expect you to be such a klutz to fall off the platform,”

“Oh, it’s my fault?” Hee Young’s voice deepened in humor, baffled by the fact that Soon Hae was even taking the time in approaching her.

“No I mean,” Soon Hae groaned and rubbed her face with a hand, looking away, “Can’t you just shut up and let me talk?”

Hee Young leaned back and relaxed, deciding that if Soon Hae wanted to pull anything, the only thing she’ll be able to pull is her hair and Hee Young doesn’t particularly care about any of that. Plus, she could spot Minseok’s grin from here since Lay was also beside him, keeping a lookout and she figured Lay would be the one running here if anything—if she needed help since Lay was athletically faster.

“I wanted to apologize,”

“For?”

Soon Hae took a deep inhale of air, closing her eyes as she too, rested her back against the tree trunk before mumbling under her breath, “For pushing you off the mountain,”

This seemed comical to some but to Hee Young, that wasn’t the only thing Soon Hae has done.

“And?”

Soon Hae rolled her eyes and groaned, “And for the snarky comments in class,”

“And?”

Soon Hae opened her eyes and turned to give Hee Young a look but all Hee Young could do was remain a stoic expression, not breaking out into a smile, grin, not even the slightest. Soon Hae let out another sigh before murmuring, “And the ice bucket…”

“Consider yourself lucky that there’s just those few on the list. Any more than that and I would’ve done something very inappropriate.”

Soon Hae managed to let out a smile, nodding with a soft voice suggesting… friends?

Hee Young thought about it for a while and decided with just a somewhat nice… acquaintance.

“I’ll take all I can get,” Soon Hae smiled wider, standing up once she heard her voice being called out, “By the way, good luck with… your relationship,”

That made Hee Young’s eyebrows knit together with confusion, her voice coming out in a croaky, what?

Soon Hae could only shrug, taking small steps away backwards with her eyes still looking at the girl sitting down on the rock, I’ve dated him before… long enough to know how he looks at someone else with love. She pointed at her, he looks at you like that.

Hee Young narrowed her eyes and lightly used her leg to point at Soon Hae’s direction before folding it over her other leg, just because we’re acquaintances doesn’t mean you can tell me this crap.

“Hey I’ll see you around, then,” Soon Hae waved a bit, turning her back on Hee Young to head back out to her tent. From a distance, she sees Minseok calling her over with a hand, saying that it was time to roast some marshmallows and Hee Young gave a nod, saying loud enough for Minseok to hear that she just wants some time alone first before she’d join them later on.

Here she remained seated on the rock, feeling the gentle breeze of the cool wind coaxing up her whole body. Here she sat with a blank look on her face, hoodie covered and the darkness of the night enveloping her in.