I would give up everything just to be with you…



I just didn’t know what happened that made me run away…



When I took that first step going opposite to where you are, I thought of everything that might happen… I am not sure of everything… I don’t even know the reason why I am acting like this…

I went miles away, not making myself visible to anyone…

I changed identity… I lived from town to town… I did so many things… I lived life…

All without a reason…



Because my reason was left right at the place were I last saw you, at the place where my stupid mind decided that I don’t deserve to be happy and I should be suffering… at the place where I unconsciously made the choice not to live life with you by my side… at the place where I left my true happiness.. where I decided to leave my heart…



A few years later, I saw you again. I don’t know what to do since I still want to be with you but I am the one to blame with everything that happened.

I took a step closer to you but was stopped by a boy slowly making his way to you… he has black hair…and round deep orbs… no matter how much I denied it, deep inside, I knew who the boy is…

a known smile was etched in your face when he finally reached you and you hugged his petite body…



My heart fell to the ground and broke into a million pieces.. I know I shouldn’t be hurt…

It was me who caused all of this.. but I can’t help it and tears fell from my eyes..



I knew I shouldn’t have come back…



Shopping with my best friend, I was surprised when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and saw you, you just don’t know how happy I was seeing you face to face in this proximity… You just don’t know how much I wanted to kiss your lips, to tell you I love you a million times, you just don’t know how I want to hug you tightly and look at your loving face… You just don’t know how much I missed you…



We talked at a café, you asked me what was the reason why I left and I answered you with silence. I can’t answer because I know the reason isn’t justifiable, I didn’t answer because it would seem unfair… I didn’t answer because truthfully… I really didn’t have a reason…



The conversation ended with us parting ways, I was teary, not because of the goodbye, but because of what you told me… I never thought you we’re that hurt… I never thought you felt worse than I did coz I felt like I was dying spending those days without you by my side…



You pulled me into a kiss; long, passionate and full of longing. I can feel the sadness, the feeling you had been keeping all those years… For me that touch was what I was longing for in the past years… I wanted that moment to last forever… I wanted to be with you again, if I wasn’t that stupid, it could’ve not turned out like this… If I can do anything just to bring the two of us together again, I would do it, just to have you back.



You broke the kiss, face wet from tears. We were both crying, we know we still love each other… We knew we want to be with each other… and we know we can still be, but that would involve a lot of things, coz now, the world who we once claimed for ourselves alone won’t revolve solely between the two of us anymore. We can still be, it’s just that now, it wouldn’t be that easy…



You turned your back to leave. I can’t help but sob harder seeing your retreating figure. I shouted I love you, and you looked back. You stared at me with those teary black eyes I used to drown into. I couldn’t help but cry harder hearing the same words right out of your mouth. You averted your gaze to the road ahead of you as you walked away and I was left staring at the man I used to build my future with…



Pain struck my heart in every step you took going farther from me, farther from us, farther from what we used to be. I know this is goodbye, and now, I know it will be real…



So now I finally realized how it felt… So this is how you felt… I love you Cho Kyuhyun… and it kills me to see you leave, but I can’t blame you, I can’t blame anyone, because of all the people, I know I am the only one to blame…