Summary: Sometimes, we need change to make our lives better, to give us the motivation to mold our lives into a life we really wanted to live for in the first place and set it as a goal to further develop ourselves.


Kyuhyun leans his head on the backrest of the car. They just finished taping Foresight and they are on their way back to the dorm. His head hurts like crazy, adding it to the fact that he is beyond exhausted because of too much recordings. He looks at his surroundings and he sees the other members in their own world. Leeteuk is sitting on the passenger’s seat, his head jerking backwards in his sleep as his mouth opens slightly with every movement of the company car. Eunhyuk is sitting across himself in the backseat, his fingers busy fiddling with Kyuhyun’s PSP because Kyuhyun let him borrow it as he is too tired to even play it even though he brought it supposedly for entertainment.

Kyuhyun heaves a sigh. He doesn’t know what to do to kill time. He results to turning his head to look at the tinted window as he tries to see the changing sceneries in front of him. It was then that he notices that almost everything is covered with a thin layer of snow; the roofs of houses, the road, the branches of trees who have long lost their leaves. They are all too familiar, having passed there so many times more than his liking. He sighs as he closed his eyes and tries his best to take a nap during the ride, he actually couldn’t decipher why he couldn’t fall asleep when he is supposed to be exhausted after such a tiring day.

He is slowly drifting into sleep when he suddenly feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He almost whimpers as he pulled off his phone to check who texted him, and almost rolls his eyes when he sees the familiar icon he set that was unique for an SJ member. It is already 1 in the morning, he ponders, everyone should be sleeping. He unlocks his phone and sighs as he recognizes Sungmin’s number flashing on his phone. He opens it without thinking, he wonders why his hyung texted him in the middle of the night in the first place.

It’s snowing! Want to go for a walk when you come home?

Kyuhyun moans silently in protest. Why would his hyung want to go for a walk in the middle of the night? He decides not to reply so Sungmin would think that he is sleeping. He then settles his head on the backrest again, feigning his sleep as he feels the older brunette surveying him from the side. He imagines gentle humming, a sweet voice lulling him to sleep and he roughly felt the calloused yet soft hands brushing on his hair. He smiles a little and he shifts, something dark engulfing him and what happens next was already unknown.

The first thing he notices when he opens his eyes is that the car is already not moving. It’s then that he realized that he fell asleep in the car ride after he read the older man’s message. He goes to wake Eunhyuk and Leeteuk up, having noticed that they too fell asleep and the driver is just being too modest to wake all of them up. Kyuhyun chances a look at his watch to see that it is 1:30 in the morning, maybe his hyung is already sleeping by now. He steps out of the car and into the lobby of their apartment after seeing the other two flinch, they’ll probably wake up on their own. He proceeds to walk inside the building when he sees an all-too familiar man, walking back and forth across the hall clad in black jacket, loose jeans, boots, and a leather cap. The said man stops pacing the moment he sees Kyuhyun.

“Kyuhyun!” The other enthusiastically welcomes him with a hug and a smile.

“Hi Sungmin hyung, why are you still awake?” Kyuhyun manages to make his voice sound very exhausted, and he inwardly jumps of joy when he felt guilt slowly spreading across Sungmin’s face.

“Well…” For a moment, Kyuhyun notices that Sungmin seems to think carefully of what he will say. “Did you receive my text?”

Kyuhyun nods. Sungmin then nods as well.

“Well, I was waiting for you since you didn’t reply. And I know if I stay at our room, I’ll just drink wine and would probably sleep before you come home.”

Sungmin looks at Kyuhyun with the same tired but contrastingly hopeful eyes. “So, do you want to go for a walk?”

Kyuhyun sighs. “Hyung, I am tired. Like really tired. Why would you want to take a walk now in the first place? It’s really cold outside and there are lots of dangerous people lurking in the dark.” He tries to reason out.

Sungmin’s eyes flicker for a second, the hopeful look in his orbs disappearing all too sudden and Kyuhyun felt like the biggest exhausted jerk on earth. “Well, I really like the snow, and I want to look at it peacefully at night. You know, without fan girls swarming at me and asking for my autographs.” Sungmin’s gaze shifts down to the floor then it travels to his sides.

Kyuhyun exhales rather loudly. “But why me hyung? You could have walked with Ryeowook hyung, or Shindong hyung a while ago, if you did that, you’re probably already sleeping now… and I’m really tired.” He moans out in process but he stops when Sungmin suddenly nods quickly and smiles a little bit sadly at him.

“I was thinking we aren’t bonding much lately, and I know you liked snow… so I thought instead of drinking wine, we can just walk and talk a bit… but of course…” Sungmin says as his mouth pucker a little bit, a sad smile playing tiredly on his red and pouty lips. “I forgot you’re so tired from schedules. I am sorry for being inconsiderate. You go to our room first, I’ll just go walk a little then I’ll be back to our room.”

And then Sungmin is gone. Kyuhyun looks at his retreating back feeling all sorts of weird emotions all at the same time. He feels exhausted, he feels guilty, he feels torn and he feels like he is a jerk. He pauses to contemplate on the consequences of what he had just done. He can actually sleep now, Sungmin doesn’t hold any grudges against him anyway. But he also knows that the older is a bit sensitive on the emotional side, he might have been hurt because of the rejection. His face scrunches to a frown and he stares as Sungmin’s figure slowly disappears behind the mist. After a few more minutes, he takes his first few steps away from where he was standing, not going to the elevator though, but outside to where Sungmin had just left.

He doesn’t really know what path the other man took, so he walks along the path where some person’s footprints are leading him. He doesn’t know if it really is Sungmin’s footprints though, and he just wishes that it were because if it isn’t, he really doesn’t know what to do. He continues walking along the path and soon enough, a familiar man enters his sight. He sees that Sungmin was walking slowly, seemingly enjoying the coldness of the breeze and the scene the snow around them makes. He runs and almost slips as he rushes to get to the other man.

“Hyung!” He calls. Sungmin then stops and turns around with a confused look on his face that was immediately replaced by shock when Kyuhyun’s face registered in his brain.

“Kyuhyun-ah! I thought you-”

“It’s really cold hyung, do you have a spare jacket with you?” Kyuhyun interrupts him as he rubs his body with his hands. Sungmin shakes his head. “You should’ve brought one if you planned on going with me you idiot.” Sungmin says playfully.

“You should’ve brought one for me if you’re dragging me for a midnight walk! You know I don’t bring jackets because I don’t usually go for a walk like this!” Kyuhyun remarks back.

Sungmin smiles a little. “I’m sorry. I am really inconsiderate, am I?” Kyuhyun hears a sigh.

The other man then turns back to walking and Kyuhyun sees a puff of smoke coming from his mouth. He rushes to follow him again, and he immediately grabs the others’ hand and intertwines their fingers as the older lets out a gasp.

“Your hands are too cold.” Sungmin states.

“More the reason you should hold me, I have no mittens and you’re warm.” Kyuhyun says and he smiles as Sungmin tightens his grip on his hand. They walk along an abandoned park and a once-resident hotel, noticing how lots of things have changed and Sungmin marvels on the fact that it’s been so long since he last gone to notice all these things.

“A lot of things already changed right?” Sungmin murmurs suddenly as he looked at Kyuhyun. The younger, although confused, just nods.

“I hate changes.” Sungmin suddenly utters. Kyuhyun turns to look at him in confusion and he sees the frown sketched on Sungmin’s face as his expression turned into something like that of being bothered.

“Why do you hate changes hyung?” Kyuhyun inquires.

“Well, we used to have lots of bonding times, I used to be able to cook stuff for the members, we used to be casted in a variety show as a complete group. Now…” Sungmin says as he looks up into the sky, crystals of snow are falling from above to his face that Sungmin couldn’t help but close his eyes and admire.

“Now what hyung?” He stops and leads Sungmin to a nearest shelter, because the snow has been sending chills all over his body and the fact that he hasn’t got a jacket makes the matter worse.

Sungmin just sighs. “Now…” He bows his head down. “Nothing, I think I just missed everyone. I missed you guys and sometimes, I wanted to just return to the past where we weren’t Hallyu stars, when we were just starting, when we get to spend Christmas with our family or at least with ourselves.”

Sungmin then stares at their intertwined hands and he ponders on releasing his hand from Kyuhyun’s. It’s getting a bit too comfortable and he doesn’t really like the idea of depending on another person for comfort or warmth. He loosens up his grip, expecting the other person to do the same but the other just grips his hand tighter and Sungmin blinks.

“I actually like changes” Kyuhyun suddenly steps up, seemingly unaware of the older man’s former action. Kyuhyun looks at Sungmin and then at the street across them, the street was peaceful and dark, save for the occasional passing of the tractors who were only allowed to go out at that time of the night.

“I like changes because it is a sign that people have the chance to grow. It means that people have a chance to develop the things they can’t do, improve themselves, and get something out of it.” Sungmin looks at Kyuhyun and the other just gives him a smile before he continues after leaning on to a post. “Sometimes, we need change to make our lives better, to give us the motivation to mold our lives into a life we really wanted to live for in the first place and set it as a goal to further develop ourselves.” Kyuhyun turns to look at him, a smile gracing his pale face.

“But changes aren’t always good. Yes, we really improved our lives, we now gain more money than before, but at the same time, we’re overworked, we don’t get to spend time with the people we love, we get as much negative comments from people who don’t like us.” Sungmin counters. He too looks at the street and he sees a cat digging into a public trash. He wonders how they can take all the changes happening to their lives, if they were aware that those changes were already happening, what they do to change for the better or at least, if they actually cared.

“Sometimes I want to be a cat, like Sen. Their life is so simple, they adapt easily, their task is to just make their owners happy and they go through the same routines every day. Sometimes, I wish my life was that simple.” Sungmin looks hopefully at the sky.

“I don’t want to be a cat though.” Kyuhyun says and Sungmin chuckles.

“Kyuhyun, why do you like negating me so much?” Kyuhyun suddenly snorts.

“Not really, I just don’t want to be a cat if their life is really that simple.” He turns Sungmin so he is looking at him and he stares at his confused face. “I always want to have some change in my life. Cats have a simple life, so if a sudden change happens to them, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I wanted to do something to change what happens in my life, I want to direct my life as I wanted it to be, and I want people whom I love to stay beside me all the rest of my life.”

Sungmin nods, clearly taking their conversation as it is. “I see where you’re coming from.”

Kyuhyun shakes his head. "Even before Sungmin hyung, I've been wanting you to know. But you didn't really want, right?"

Sungmin looks at him confused. “I don’t understand you, Kyuhyun.”

“Even before, I wanted to change something in my life. Did you know?” Kyuhyun inquires as he continues to stare at the older man’s face. "This is probably now or never."

Sungmin starts to get really confused. “Kyuhyun, I really don’t understand where –”

Kyuhyun interrupts his speech by pressing their lips together really hard. Sungmin tenses as his eyes suddenly widen. He still wasn’t ready and he really didn’t expect this to happen to them anytime soon, but he doesn’t pull away because the feeling isn’t in any way repulsive as he initially thought it would be. Kyuhyun starts to move his lips and Sungmin becomes even more tensed, he inwardly admits that he doesn’t know what to do, and he doesn’t even know how to respond. He closes his eyes and he is about to move his lips as well when all of a sudden, Kyuhyun’s lips are gone.

“I love you, hyung.” Sungmin looks at Kyuhyun whose eyes are full of anxiety and fear. He smiles at the other as he lets out a small smile.

“You know I don’t like to throw those words without really thinking about them. And to be honest, I am not sure if what I am feeling for you is love or if it’s just something relatively similar.” Sungmin sees a flicker of hurt rush across Kyuhyun’s eyes. And the other is about to say something before he interrupts him with a hug.

“But I am feeling something different towards you, that’s a good start right? You’re willing to wait for me right?” Sungmin says as he hugs Kyuhyun tightly. He feels Kyuhyun nod from where he is hugging from his waist, and he smiles as he breathes and smells Kyuhyun’s scent, lingering with the scent of early morning dew mixed with the sharp iciness of the snow.

Sungmin raises his head and Kyuhyun tilts his so that their lips meet for a kiss for the second time. This time, Sungmin responds. He let his lips move on its own, his being guided by Kyuhyun’s very cold yet relatively soft ones. He opens his mouth a little and their tongues meet halfway, dancing in a rhythm that seems familiar though really foreign for the two of them.

They break apart rhythmically as their lungs craved for some oxygen to breath, but Kyuhyun doesn’t waste time and he starts kissing Sungmin’s forehead, to his nose, to his cheeks up to his jaw line. He then buries his head on Sungmin’s shoulder as he starts to trace feathery kisses along his neck.

Sungmin just smiles and he lets out a thoughtful sigh. He lets Kyuhyun continue his actions and after a while, he feels Kyuhyun’s breath hot on his shoulder and he shudders.

“Sungmin hyung…” He hears Kyuhyun murmur softly.

“Hmmm?”

“You’re warm… it’s very comfortable.” Sungmin smiles.

“Should we hug until we get to our room then?”