ElektroShawol

Reviewed by Foreverkeena101

'Absolute Love' Review

  Title: [3/5]

Your title.... it was what you call "the usual". It's not a bad title, it's just a little overdone. I mean, titles are what pull the reader in. If you spot a title that's unoriginal, you probably wouldn't stop by to check what it's about right? Although since it goes well with your story plot, I gave it a 3.

Description/Foreword: [7/10]

Hmm, your description was descriptive XD I mean it told exactly what the story was about which is good. It's just... it didn't really pull me in? There was no hook to it. Do you get what I'm saying? That was the reason as to why you didn't recieve full points in this category. 

Plot: [5/5]

The plot.... I like it a lot! I mean, you don't really see that many game show fanfictions here now do you? That's pretty much all you need to know. Good job!

Flow: [6/10]

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This here is what you need to work on. It felt kind of... I don't know... rushed? I mean, you straight up went on with the gameshow, they played games, somebody became the loser.... it was all too quick for my liking.

 

Writing Style: [3/5]

It's not a unique writing style, but it's not the worst. Just focus on details ok? That's what you REALLY need to work on. I'll use a metaphor with you. Pretend like your writing is a hamburger (Strange I know, but I'm feeling hungry right now XD). Your story plot/outline is the bun while the details is the meat. There's no meat in your burger. Focus more on adding details when you can; add some sensory language. Trust me! When you do this, you'll get more subscribers in more time. Basically what I'm saying is that your writing needs some substance; some depth.

Originality: [10/10]

What can I say? It was original! I've never read anything like it before :)

Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: [24/25]

Great work on this part! You had some mistakes here and there but nothing major! Just be sure to read over your work out loud. You tend to catch your mistakes easily that way.

Characterization/Details: [16/25]

Here I go again with the details. As I was reading this, I didn't really get a feel as to how the girls look like. I didn't get much of how their personality is either. As I said earlier, focus on DETAILS! Describe your character throughout the story. Just don't forget to add their description somehow.

Poster: [1/5]

TSK TSK TSK. Being a poster-graphics-maker, I could tell that this was poorly done. The pictures are not of high quality, the edges of the character's borders are not smooth at all, and I could still notice some of the pictures' backgrounds from before. I'm not sure if she was just being sloppy, or if she's just a(n) beginning/ameteur designer. You might want to get a new poster. Harsh... I know, but this is all to benifit your story. I give her/him props for the color cordination. It was pretty good :)

Overall score: [76/100]

Your score is just average. You have the potential; I mean your plot and it's originality is just great! You have to focus on detailing and managing your own style. What I do want to say though is, you're on the right track. Work hard!