“Have you ever felt so alone in this world, like you in the crowd but they all hate you? Or everyone talking but only you keep shut your mouth or they whisper and they look at you?

But i have to be strong, to stand in my own feet, to dance in my own music, to smile in my own feelings. I really hate one thing the most, fake.

Everyday i face fake, like an air to me i hate that the most i fake smile everyday. That is why i know when people lie when they tell honest.

To me, i hate it when people think that i am a weak. I am an idiot, at least they have thought that i am a strong person. But, the more i hide my tears the more i feel like my body is not a bullet proof.

I like to sleep the most, i just like to escape the reality and create my own world. But i am not a god. My imajination is everything to me. It is jus there is no pain at all.

Some people thing that heir pain is the more hurt than anyone else, some people think wisely said that there is person feel more hurt than i am, so they wipe their tears.

For me, pain depends on who feels it. I used to said ‘i rather got a scar than bad memory’ but not with people who lost their feet because horrible accident, that is even worst. They got scars and plus bad memory. But you know what, your not into that person postition so no mater what pain it is the feels is hurt.

My friend, it all called world. Happiness is what you seek. But you should taste gloomy.”

:::::::::::

The man closed his book as he realized that he almost arrived at his aim. He put the book that he just read in his bag. And when the bus stopped he got down from the bus. She passed some people in the road he saw a women shopped, saw couple holding hands, and man with classy style walking while phone on his ear. He looked at that all, like he was monitoring.

More steps to where he worked, and a beep just heard by his ears, it was a car which wanted to pass through. It was Jinhwan’s car so he waited there so he and Jinhwan could enter togheter.

Jinhwan steeped the ground from his car, and approach him.

“Yo” Approach Jinhan with sweet smile like always. He just nooded and return Jinhwan’s smile.

“Nice car, why don’t you sell that instead of working here?” Said him more like mumbled.

“Seungyoon, you said something?” Said Jinhwan confused.

“Nothing, it was just not me.”

“The disire eats you slowly that there is nothing left but fear, and you ended up hate someone. That is when you realized that the world just being to bias to everyone but not you. You try to escape, but no where to run. And you ended cry.”

::::::::::::::

“Yunhyung ah, soemone here, go ask her order.” Jinwoo stood at bar serve someone while she saw someone enter with her bright smile like usual. Seungyoon was workless at that time and he chit chat with Jinhwan who helped Jinwoo at the bar, but both of them did not realize who had came.

“Hyung, she is...” Jinwoo put his finger to make Yunhyung shut but it was too late, Seungyoon saw her.

“Let me, take this.” Said Seungyoon took his note and to the guest place. Jinwoo, Jinhwan just punch Yungyung’s head. He felt really sorry.

::::::::::::::

“Yo, what is it?” Approach Seungyoon with no smile.

“Just like usual. Oh, Seungyoon how are you?” Ask the girl sincerly.

“Ok.” He just left with so cold expression. The girl then looked at her table and stare blankly. Her hands were trembling.

:::::::::::::::

What to do, the world seem doesn’t give the answer wheather i should leave, or look back.

:::::::::::::::

“Yoon –ah are you ok?” Asked the oldest Jinwoo worried his dongseang.

“I am fine hyung. Do not concern me. It just you know... something that i couldn’t forget about her.”

“Just come to me when you need something.”

“Sure hyung.” He just smiled and looked back at the sky.

:::::::::::::::

“Is he ok?”

“He is ok, it just out of blue you appeard.”

“I really miss him.”

“As the person who know the truth, you just have to tell him. Even i, my self think that this is painfull.”

“I am sorry oppa to burden you.”

“No, it is fine, the moment when you break up with him, i knew something happen. He did know but you know... his thought was mess..”

“That is what  i worry the most,”

“I am sorry, both of you had hard time.”

:::::::::::::

Flashback

“Let’s just break up.”

“But why?”

“I found something new, it just my perents worry about our future. So i chose him.”

End

:::::::::::::

Above the moonlight, same painfull out through the tears, from different eyes, but same feelings.

“Minzy ah, are you ok?” A though but pale hands approach Minzy’s shoulder, a pacefull face shown in front of Minzy second after, he on her knees wipe Minzy’s tears.

“Oh, Youngjae. I am fine. It’s just dust.”

:::::::::::::::

“Seungyoon ah, are you ok? You got teary eyes.”

“Hyung, it is just dust.”

Too bad, but both Jinwoo and Youngjae knew the truth.

:::::::::::::::

Today was Lalice birthday everyone seemed busy and the cafe boys no expectation. Lalice was a humble doughter, even she was rich, she did not like live with so luxury, so did two her brothers and her mother.

So in the cafe, they closed it early Lalice wanted to celebrate with her bestfriend and cafe boys. CL and Jinwoo got teased so many times. Minzy and Seungyoon keep their mouth shut.

Dara felt so bad to invited Minzy just too little talk like this, more over with Seungyoon and Minzy condition, Dara was sensitive, it was just she accidently called Minzy and she agreed it imadiatly.

CL and Jinwoo knew the situation, so they set the situation and move, left the two complicated feelings. Seungyoon seemed understand why his friend did that, so did Minzy but they keep quite and did not say a word. They both sat face to face.

“I really sorry to ruin Lalice birthday by our situation.” Minzy looked down palyed with her beutiful nail.

“You made it like that. Anyway they just moved in the rooftop like it is more confortable in there.”

“Seungyoon ah, i am....”

“No need word. I know. Of course, you chose your life and now you became more popular and you have so many fans. And i am here  still wonder my future. I try, i try to pass and look for better Job. But, you already chose the rich man with the handsome face. It is all perfect, don’t you think?”

“It is not like that, i just.. you don’t understand.”

Seungyoon grabbed Minzy’s hand and pushed her in the corner of room and locked both of her hands, blocked her move. He kissed her wildly, he keep force Minzy’s lips to open, but no movement by her. Minzy tried to fight, but Seunyoon’s strength was just not for her to againts with. Minzy gave up. She replied the kissed and kissed each other. Minzy cried, and Seungyoon realized that something  wass wet on his face.He stopped.

“See, you make this complicated, you said you don’t like me but why you always give me your attantion? You still like me obviously.” Said Seungyoon wipe the tears but Minzy’s tears couldn’t stop.

“YES, I Love you that i wanna die. But Seunyoon, he is diyng.”

:::::::::::

For a moment i think, i might useless in this world, i have nothing but honesty. The feeling i felt, i’d like to tell it my self because i the one who understand my own problem. But people always said, let your thought out. But i keep saving this like treasure. I talk to the bird, i talk to sky, i talk to wind. That is why i really like to hear music. Weirldy the more it feels like fire in my brain, when i have him on my side.

::::::::::::

One Year A go

“Why you did that to Seungyoon?”

“Did not CL unni tell you?”

“CL is really secret keeper, more over you are her bestfriend. She told me to ask you by myself.”

“My parents like Seungyoon so much. Seungyoon and Him both so much meanng to my writting career. My parent got job without effort, their boss has a son, and falls for me. His parent knew that i wanted to be a writer, so just like win win situation. Three years ago my parent made an agreement without me know it before. My parent with so much apologize told me three years ago, but i told him three days ago. It was the hardest decision i ever made.”

“It was so hard for you. Minzy, i am so sorry just to look by one side.”

:::::::::::::

It is so funny how the world rules by the one who has alot of powers. I want that power, both him and i againts the world. He asked ‘why the world is so cruel’ I only answered her,’ because we doing effort, and we againts the world. Those who alreadygot what he/she got does not do effort, the world already gives them what they want, it does not cruel to them’

::::::::::::::

One month after that kiss, Seungyoon did his daily like usual, the eight guys gather with so much serious face. It was like a slow motion, Seunyoon peeked at them who fight and like reject something. Finally one of the eitght chosen, the oldest hyung brought the paper.

Wedding Party

Gong Minzy and Yoo Youngjae

17 September

Seungyoon only took a deep breath, the eldest just pat his shoulder. It was really slow, when they fought to decide  who will bringt the paper, when finally Jinwoo came to him, and pat his shoulder.

:::::::::::::::

But, we can’t stop right? For me, there is no place to run, no cry, no words, no scream.

:::::::::::::::

19 September

“I know you here.” In the green land, when you could saw montain and lake, Minzy was lend her back under the tree, and she got shocked by a gantle voive who really familiar. He sat next to her, and naturally Minzy lend her head in his shoulder and naturaly with both her hands hold his hand. “I really jelous with him, he just gave you to me.”

“Do not talk like i am a thing. You own me before him.”

“He placed by god in proper place i bealive, he deserves it. He is really kind.” Both of them agreed looked at each other smiling.

“Hey, you will not write our story in your book right?”

“You think?”

“Not that kiss at the cafe......”

::::::::::::

My place now is you.