Sunlight drifted into Kibum’s dream, refracts into something ticklish and rough. Probably, something that involved grass or sand or both. Kibum turned around and the rough sand transformed into soft linens. The white clouds and blue skies were replaced by the ceiling, a glass window that showed the whole city and the half-melted candle. He could still feel the lavender smell of it. His arms traced the other side of his bed only to find nothing that he was searching for.

It would be a lied if he said he wasn’t disappointed at all. Because he indeed was disappoint. Kibum always loved the feel when you wake up with someone you loved right next to you. The cold empty bed on the other side made his heart ache a little.

A certain boy named Kim Jonghyun should be occupied the empty side beside him.

A certain boy named Kim Jonghyun should wake him up and gave him the long warm morning kisses that he always cherished.

A certain boy named Kim Jonghyun was all he need.

But there was no a certain boy named Kim Jonghyun there. And Kibum hated it.

He called Jonghyun’s named “Jjong..” no answer. He called it once again, even louder. Still no one answered.

Unwillingly he got up from his bed, roaming around his apartment but no one was there. “Hospital call, maybe” Kibum tried to cheer himself up. His boyfriend was an intern on the hospital, maybe just maybe people need him there. to cure sick people. The thought of it, lighten Kibum’s mood up. He was a proud boyfriend of Jonghyun. Soon to be doctor Kim Jonghyun.

The doorbell rang and Kibum quickly pacing to the door. Please be Jonghyun Please be Jonghyun.

But it was not Jonghyun who stood up in front of him once the door opened.

“Good Morning” The male in uniform greeted. Officer, Kibum assumed the man was an officer.

“Good morning, may I help you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for Mr. Kim”

“Oh, yes I’m Kim Kibum what happened?” He asked, trying to made his voice as calm as he can. And he probably failed.

“May I come in?”

“Oh yes please” The officer walked passed Kibum and followed him inside after closing the door.

“I would like to inform you about Kim Jonghyun, you know him?

“Yes” Kibum’s voice cracks.

“He’s in hospital. He got into an accident yesterday morning and he’s in comma. He might not going to make-“

“Wait what? Is this some kind of prank? He was here last night” Kibum almost yelled at the officer

“Sir, I am so-“

“No”

“But sir, I think you really have to go to the hospital now. If you want to see him”

No

“I could take you if you want to”

No

“sir, we should get going now”

No

It was all blur for Kibum. he remembered the blue navy color that the officer wore. The smell of the rain, that didn’t stop pouring since the day before. He remembered putting his red converse in a hurry. But anything than that, it was all blur.

He refused to believe the news. He refused to believe the only thing matter in his life was in hospital, not the one who treat sick people but the one who was treated by the doctor. He balked the fact that the love of his life was on the verge of leaving him…forever.

But he followed. Kibum followed the officer who gave him the ride to the hospital. His eyes were teary, but not once he let the beaded salty tears fell down. Lips sealed in one line. Eyes fixed on the road ahead of him. Kibum built the tallest fortress from any menace of breaking down.

“He is in the room 503” The officer informed as soon as they arrived on the hospital.

Kibum followed his instinct. He ran. He ran for his love, although he wasn’t sure about it. he didn’t want to sure. But his heart ached. His heart wanted to believe his love was lying on the bed with numbers of wires connected to his body.

Agitating, whether to walk in or not. He stood in front of the said room. Kibum knew he would never like the sight, but the stubborn part of his whole system believe it was another Jonghyun’s prank. Jonghyun loved to pull prank on Kibum. Please just be another his stupid prank

Hesitantly, he pushed the door quietly. Immediately, he hated the decision.

He walked slowly towards the boy in the bed. His tanned skin looked like Jonghyun’s. His nose looked like Jonghyun’s. He was Jonghyun. But he was not, to Kibum. The Jonghyun that Kibum knew never going a syringe placed into his body. The Jonghyun in front of him was the fragile version of it. wires attached here and there, a machine pumping his lung. Another machine ran for his heart.

Kibum put his hand to his mouth, suppressing his sob. The tears finally rolled down to his cheeks. All his guards fell down to pieces. His heart too, shattered into pieces.

“Kibum!” A guy called behind him.

Kibum turned around and drown himself into Jinki’s embraced “I’m so sorry, Kibum”

“H-how?” was all that managed to break out from Kibum’s trembling lips

“Jonghyun left from the florist shop and he saw a little girl in the middle of the street and there was a car approaching her so he ran, and pushed the little girl but ended up being the one who-“ Jinki unable to continue the story “All you need to do is say goodbye, Kibum”

“W-what?”

“All these machines, they’re all the ones who work for him. His brain and all of his system are shutting down once these machines taken from his body” Jinki explained “I could wake him up but it would be so painful for him. So you only have 5 minutes to say goodbye. I know it’s hard for you, but please be strong. For him”

Kibum could only nod. What else he could do?

Jinki injected something to Jonghyun’s wrist “He would wake up soon. I’ll give you some time alone. Be strong Kibum” Jinki gave him a last hug before he went outside.

Kibum’s wiped his tears away. He didn’t want to let Jonghyun saw his teary eyes. He cleared his throat and swallowed thickly. He could do this.

Suddenly, Jonghyun’s thumb twitched. His eyes slowly fluttered open. His breathe sounded rougher. Kibum knew he was struggling.

“Hi” Jonghyun’s voice was hoarser that usual.

Kibum put on the happy mask. He smiled “Hi”

“I..I’m sorry”

“Don’t be”

“I shouldn’t let you wait for me”

“That’s fine”

“Kibummie..” he called, Kibum’s heart clenched by the nickname. Jonghyun was the only one who can call him by that nickname

“hmm”

“stay….here” Jonghyun negotiated for each syllables with deep inhales of air.

“I will”

“lay here…beside…”

“I don’t think that’s–“

“please”

He couldn’t do anything beside complied with Jonghyun’s plea. There was enough space for Kibum to lay beside him. Kibum carefully shifted his body closer to Jonghyun but he was too afraid to touch him.

“H-hold my hand”

Kibum closed his lips into a line. He knew once he let his tears fell, he could never stop it.

“Kibum….dreamt…about you..last..night”

“really? Me too.” Kibum didn’t sure was it a lie or not. He did meet Jonghyun the night before, though he didn’t sure was it all a dream or reality “You came to my, our apartment. And you were soaking wet. You kissed me all of a sudden. it was the best kiss of the year I must say. And we went to bed and cuddling as usual. Oh and you brought me flowers. It’s really pretty. Thank you”

“a-and…I asked…not…forget me”

“You have the same dream as mine?”

Kibum swore he could see the smile on Jonghyun’s face “y-yes”

“we’re special then” Kibum responded

“bummie”

“yes?”

“you.. won’t…forget me?” it was sound more a plea than a question for Kibum

“of course”

“Kibum, I..don’t want to go”

“Then don’t” Kibum exclaimed. “Don’t leave me, Jjong. Please”

“bummie…kiss me..please”

Kibum didn’t need to be asked twice. He carefully took off Jonghyun’s oxygen mask first. He could see how struggling Jonghyun was to breathe.

Jonghyun was already closing his eyes. The smile on his face assuring Kibum that he was fine. Kibum didn’t want to make him wait, so he pressed his lips against the other. Jonghyun’s used to be full lips were chapped now, but Kibum could care less. The warmness that Jonghyun’s lips sent to him, was all that matter. Kibum could feel Jonghyun’s grip on their intertwined hands tightened. And just like the first kiss, Kibum’s cheeks blushing hard.

The kiss was gentle and nothing in rushed. Even though, they were running out of time. Kibum and Jonghyun were familiar about that feeling, the feeling that once you let go you would never can come back for more. There was no coming back for them.

Kibum broke the kiss first when he noticed that Jonghyun was gasping hard for air. He quickly put the oxygen mask back. Even though it dimmer, but Jonghyun’s eyes were still shine. The only light that would lead Kibum home. The home of his heart.

“I.. I lo….ve you”

“I love you too”

“bum..I’m tired”

“Then go to rest, baby. I’ll wait for you”

“Bummie…I love you”

“I know, I love you even more”

Jonghyun closed his eyes once again. His breathing sounded rougher than before. Kibum knew he would never open his eyes anymore. He knew it was a goodbye. Kibum was afraid to look at the clock. He didn’t count the time. That moment, time was his enemy. Time was running and nothing he could do to stop it.

Their hands were still intertwined, no one was willing to let go. Kibum wrapped his free arm around Jonghyun’s fragile body. inhaling Jonghyun’s sweet smell that he could spot anywhere. He stayed silent, listening to Jonghyun’s breathe. He would miss the sounds of Jonghyun’s breathing. He would miss the steady sound of Jonghyun’s heartbeat.

Kibum took everything all in. Trying to remembered as much as he could about Jonghyun. So one day, he could reminisce how special they were. How special Jonghyun was to him.

How much Jonghyun loved him.

And how much he loved Jonghyun.

There was knock on the door. Kibum refused to answer, so he sunk himself into Jonghyun’s neck. There was no one who could take Jonghyun from him. No one.

“Kibum, 30 seconds”

Kibum inhaled Jonghyun’s scent deeply.

25 seconds

He tightened his grip on Jonghyun’s hand

20 seconds

Kibum whispered to Jonghyun’s ear “please don’t leave me. please Jonghyun please”

15 seconds

He kissed Jonghyun’s temple.

10 seconds

“Kibum, I’m going to turn the machine off”

“Jonghyun , wait for me”

5 seconds

“Jonghyun, I love you”

Kibum could feel the tight grip on his hands loose slowly until it was no more.

“Time of death, 12:05, September 30^th 2013” Jinki announced

“I love you, Jonghyun”

well........this . I HATE THIS OKAY I HATE THIS CHAPTER. I AT WRITING THIS ARGHHHH I SWEAR TO GOD THE PLOT IS TOO GOOD IN MY HEAD AND WHEN I WROTE IT...IT JUST BECAME BLURRY AND ALL ARGZJDSCBGI THIS IS ANNOYING UGH. But hope you like it. One last chapter to go! ahhhh finallyyyy :)))))