Proper explanation..

OKAY. So I have to admit I am not very ‘into’ writing fanfiction anymore because as time goes by I just get older and have more important things to think about. HOWEVER- this story in particular is important to me so I will finish it! I have transformed this into a fic-verse so I mean if any other writers want to write in this AU feel free just remember to reference. There are a few stories I want to write- they are mostly snapshot stories like Jongdae’s story. The first few chapters I would say are a hunhan story, I will also do relationship dynamics like the Joonmyun/Jongdae chapter from 18 years and perspectives from all characters. I know I haven’t been as dedicated as I could be but I hope you enjoy these stories and for me it means I can keep writing without having you guys teetering on cliff-hangers for ages.

---

“Chanyeol” Baekhyun gasps as the other boy stumbles into their shared bunker, he won’t lie he was secretly counting down the seconds until 10pm when his roommate always tumbled clumsily made his way back to their room covered in fresh burns. No- he wasn’t some sadist who got a kick out of seeing his friend in pain, but he would rather be there so that Chanyeol had at least someone to tend to his wounds every night, so he had someone to hear his whimpers and cries. Mostly it was so Chanyeol wasn’t suffering alone. Baekhyun did have his fair share of horrendous training regimes, he shuddered thinking back to the room of blinding lights he was forced to sit in for hours on end, the lasers burning the backs of his eyeballs, his arms, his legs. He had wounds of his own but unlike fire; lasers don’t often leave visible injury.

“Hi Baek” Chanyeol wheezes smiling through his obvious pain “I’m home” he leans on the table to keep himself up right “You shouldn’t have waited up for me- your eyes need resting”

“Screw my damn eyes, I wanted to know they didn’t kill you off” Baekhyun mutters I grabbing the first aid kit from his bunk bed "let me see the damage" he gingerly s Chanyeol's shirt and peers at his torso. Where scars were forming this morning have been replaced with fresh burns leaving angry red gashes. "God. They went to town on you today" He sighs as he gets to work dressing his wounds "Do you want me to ask Yixing to morphine?"

"No" Chanyeol winces "The pills he gave me to help me get to sleep are enough. Really"

Baekhyun looks at him worriedly and Chanyeol tries his hardest to look like it wasn't hurting that bad. The truth is he didn't want morphine; he didn't want to forget the pain his own government inflicted on him. All of them.

"You don't have to be brave you know" Baekhyun muttered, he heard Chanyeol wince as he wrapped bandages around his torso and hands "I'm going to the kitchen to see if we have any ice"

"And you Byun Baek should stop being a worry wart. I can deal with this okay? I'm fine"

As Baekhyun walked out of the room Baekhyun thought 'no you're not'.

----

As Baekhyun walked through the commons to the kitchen he saw two figures huddling by the fire place one wrapped tightly in a blanket. One was whispering softly into the other’s ear.

"Oh Baekhyun" Jongdae turned his head in acknowledgement "what are you doing out here this late?"

"I was just going to get some ice for Chanyeol"

"Ah is he okay?"

"He thinks he's fine, I know he's not. He's refusing to take the morphine Yixing made"

"Sounds like me" Jongdae gave a wry grin.

"Yeah except you're even worse your crazy bastard"

"Yeah... I guess I am" Jongdae's eyes fell back to Minseok who was sleeping.

"I'll leave you guys to it" Baekhyun smiled

"Thanks Baek" Jongdae murmured as he brushed back some of Minseok's hair. Baekhyun didn't miss the ugly scar on Jongdae's hand as he walked out. They really liked burning people here he thought bitterly, with fires, lasers and even electrocution. Baekhyun didn't think Jongdae was that strong but he was definitely stubborn always refusing even a drop of sympathy from anyone.

----

The door shut gently as he entered the room, he could see Chanyeol had passed out on their desk with the lights still on. He didn't see the sleeping pills out so he must have passed out from the pain.

"You're such an idiot Park, you know that?" He sighed as he places the ice pack down on the table and leaves again to find the only person strong enough to pick his roommate up.

"Thanks again Kris.." Baekhyun said as they walked down the dark corridor together "I would do it myself but I'm too short"

"Relax I'm happy to help, I wouldn't want him sleeping on that desk either"

"I know he wants me to think he's strong and tough but it's an easy facade to see through"

"That's like all of us, what else are we supposed to do. We're prideful creatures at our core, not even brotherhood can triumph instinct"

"Yeah well I feel less and less human everyday" Baekhyun bites back bitterly as they carefully begin to lift Chanyeol towards his bunk bed, not that he will wake up any time soon.

"I should put an IV in him..." he places the ice packs over his room mate’s bandages hoping they'll relieve the pain.

"Maybe later, he probably needs to see the facility doctor"

"Speaking of I'm surprised to see you walking after that stint they pulled last week"

"Ah yes" Kris grimaced "Actually during my training they began the bone augmentations a little early.. they're using this chemical to hollow out my bones. At this rate I think they'll replace my bone marrow with styrofoam, anyway I'm a fair bit lighter than I look which broke my fall the other day. But morphine helped too"

"That sounds excruciating"

"So does shooting lasers into the eye, I thought you'd be blind by now."

"I've gone blind multiple times" Baekhyun laughs "I guess they tailor augmentation to specialty"

"Unfortunately" Kris rolls his eyes "I better be going; Tao is so disoriented after his isolation period. I need to look after him"

"Say no more" Baekhyun waves him away "I can take it from here"

"I hope he feels better tomorrow"

"Somehow... I doubt it" Baekhyun whispers after the door clicks shut. He carefully wipes Chanyeol's face with a cool damp wash cloth. Washing off black carbon to reveal angry scorch marks. Baekhyun wonders if the guards enjoy watching Chanyeol suffer because if they didn't surely he would be first on the list for skin augmentations.

---

Baekhyun hurtles down through the empty commons in the darkness towards Luhan's bunker. It was eleven thirty and Chanyeol still hadn't come home, the seconds kept ticking by and with each passing moment Baekhyun could feel himself becoming more and more hysterical. As no matter what had happened, no matter how painful the day had been- Chanyeol never failed to stumble through the door at five past ten every night for the past three years.

"Luhan!" He shouts bursting through the door ignoring the way Sehun's hair turns bright red from the surprise

"Baekhyun?" Luhan calls back curiously "what's wrong?"

"Chanyeol hasn't come back!" He shouts trying to sound composed but his voice caught in his throat and the message comes out garbled and he is really starting to feel like he’s suffocating now. “He hasn’t come back from training and he always, always comes back at five past ten. Always.”

Sehun moves to put a comforting hand on Baekhyun’s back as he wheezes by the door and Luhan makes room for him on his bunk bed. His knees feel like they’re going to give out any second now and he lets his two friends guide him slowly so he can collapse.

“It is odd that he’s late” murmured Luhan “I wonder if…”

“Luhan help me find him, please please help me, I’ve looked everywhere he’s not in the heat chamber or the medical bay, or in the commons and I’ve always waited up for him because otherwise he has to dress his burns himself which is a painful process and he absolutely refuses morphine- “

“Baekhyun I need you to breathe” Sehun puts his hands on the others shoulder “Chanyeol would hate to see you so wound up about him, he’s strong guy and we’re gonna find him okay?”

But Sehun’s words are falling on deaf ears because Baekhyun can’t breathe, it’s like the air is lacking oxygen and he’s slowly suffocating. Chanyeol is the only person who can give him fresh air and he’s not here. It’s amazing how unbreakable bonds have formed between them, perhaps in a world where their life was one of content almost brushing happiness they would have never glanced at each other twice. Instead they lived what one would call a miserable existence and they looked to each other for comfort, to ease the loneliness and perhaps it made the torture just a little more bearable. Except Chanyeol isn’t here, he’s missing and Baekhyun can feel himself being plunged into never ending darkness and the thoughts of don’t leave me hanging over him. He knows it’s stupid it’s not like he was in love with Chanyeol or anything- he was just someone who he could confide to under the shroud of darkness, someone who made him laugh on the odd occasion, someone to wipe his tears when the pain becomes unbearable. Chanyeol would always be there whenever he needed him, holding his hand during his increasingly common blind spells as a side effect of his laser treatment. In general, he just stopped Baekhyun from going over the edge when all he wanted to do was throw himself head first over it. That is something irreplaceable for which Baekhyun cannot bear to lose. And he knows that part of the hysteria is coming from the fact they’ve been bound together by scientists tampering with their neurons and that some of this ache of loss is manufactured, it doesn’t make it any less real to Baekhyun. He’s crying now, he can feel the hot tears landing on his cheeks and he’s wheezing too the sobs come out louder than expected which startle Sehun and Luhan alike, not that Baekhyun cares. He can’t even reply to the questions being thrown at him because he literally can’t speak and all that is coming out are hysterical cries. Taking a few deep breaths Baekhyun tries to calm himself down and finally he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out but more sobs.

“Please Luhan tell me you can find him” he manages to choke out eventually “Because I can’t do this without him there”

“Why do I feel this unhealthy attachment thing is rubbing off on everyone” Sehun sighs glancing at Luhan briefly.

“Shut up and focus on comforting him” Luhan snaps at him “I’m trying to trace him and you know they haven’t got close to completing any of my specialised augmentations”

Neither of them mention that it was because his were the most dangerous.

----

Luhan found him just as the clock struck 2AM sharp. He was inside the icebox- Minseok’s icebox and Baekhyun wanted to both kiss and kill Chanyeol simultaneously.

“He must have come here to help his burns and passed out inside” Luhan murmurs “I hope he’s okay, Minseok is conditioned to the temperature of the ice but Chanyeol- Chanyeol I’m not sure if his body can handle the cold temperature especially since he’s used to such hot environments.”

“Luhan you’re not helping” Sehun hisses gesturing to Baekhyun who looks absolutely crestfallen by Chanyeol’s limp body

“He still has a pulse” Baekhyun says softly “I need to take him to the medical bay”

“Baek we’re coming with you, I don’t want you to be alone in this” Sehun walks over and picks Chanyeol up in his arms and walking in the direction of the medical bay.

“He’s going to be fine” Luhan assures Baekhyun with a tight squeeze

When Chanyeol wakes up the next day smiling weakly Baekhyun feels like he can finally breathe again.

----

“HAVE THEY ING LOST THEIR MINDS” Baekhyun roars to no one in particular as he paces around the commons. Chanyeol is fiddling with his sweater on the sofa looking blanking at the floor. “THEY’RE GOING TO LEAVE YOU IN A FURNACE OVERNIGHT AND WHAT? SEE IF YOU DON’T DIE? WHO DO THEY THINK WE ARE GUINEA PIGS?”

“Baekhyun” Chanyeol says quietly “Leave it alone”

“NO, NO I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE BECAUSE TOMORROW MORNING I WILL WAKE UP AND WATCH YOU BE IMPRISONED IN AN INFERNO” Baekhyun is getting hysterical again and Chanyeol wonders how it was possible for Luhan and Jongdae to have rubbed off this much on Baekhyun.

“It is my last augmentation Baekhyun, they’re injecting me with chemicals and I’ve already undergone every skin augmentation in the book. I’m fairly sure it’ll be okay. Excruciatingly painful, but still okay”

And Baekhyun really does understand that more likely than not Chanyeol would be okay. A lot had changed since the icebox incident, the institution realised that if Chanyeol was going to survive the specialized augmentations he would need super healing. In fact, now you couldn’t even tell there had ever been any scars on him at all, except for one across his back which Baekhyun guessed was for sentimental reasons much like Jongdae kept the scar on his hand. If he was being honest he was just terrified that Chanyeol would walk into that room of flames and never come back out because if that happened, he knew he would end up suffocating again.

“You don’t get it Chanyeol” Baekhyun huffs “I can’t lose you. You’re like my anchor, my rock, my lighthouse. Every time I look at you I’m home and I don’t know whether this is because of all that wiring they did, I don’t know if it’s the result of a scientist tampering and maybe I wouldn’t have even looked twice at you but we’re here now in this ed up universe where this is my life, our life, our reality and I really feel like I’m losing myself in the bleakness of it all but you make it bearable.” He knows there are tears in his eyes but really Baekhyun couldn’t care less when he knows he’s so so close to losing his anchor and becoming unhinged- forever lost in a world that only wants him for his body. “Just tell me you feel it too because I’m going literally crazy over here” Baekhyun finishes. He needs to know because even if it’s injected chemicals he’s falling in love in a world he thought love could never exist. He can’t decide which is worse- the fact his feelings are dictated by factors beyond his control or the fact that love has nothing to give to people like them. They are soldiers born to serve their country and their country alone, because even when this freak show is over he will still be constantly waiting for Chanyeol to come back to him. It scares him how this is only the beginning and the chances of Chanyeol not returning increase exponentially with time.

And through all Baekhyun’s thinking Chanyeol stayed completely silent- gazing at the other with an expression of both endearment and concern. Baekhyun always worried where Chanyeol saw no point, which is probably why Chanyeol manages to keep Baekhyun’s anxiety at bay.

“You know… I wouldn’t say that I suffocated every time I watched you suffer, sometimes I was jealous that you just had lasers shooting you from left right and center. You had no ugly scars like I did. I see now it must have been painful.” He looked apologetically to the boy on his left “I do feel pain though, it’s slow and deep and really I just can’t wait to see you home again. I think that comes with seeing someone you care for leave and wonder whether this is the last time you’ll ever see them. I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet Baekhyun. With you I feel like there is more to life than this absurd war. I feel human. That is the most precious thing in the world to me and I don’t think any amount of chemicals is going to make me feel like that. So please, for me just let it go it’ll be over soon and I will come back to you”

“I feel like Jongdae right now” Baekhyun mutters “His crazy is rubbing off on me”

“In all honesty I think it’s your own kind of crazy”

----

“GET HIM OUT” Baekhyun screamed hysterically kicking at the guards that were restraining him “LOOK AT HIM HE’S DYING YOU BASTARDS!”

“Baekhyun” Jongdae’s father said slightly sympathetically “His vitals are still within the normal range. The risk on his life is minimal”

“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FLYING ? LOOK AT HIM HE’S NOT EVEN CONSCIOUS IN THERE!”

“It’s only for a little longer Baekhyun it’ll be okay”

“GO TO HELL” Baekhyun shouted through his tears “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US. NO WONDER JOONMYUN REFUSES TO TALK TO YOU. I ING HATE YOU”

“You think I’m some sort of monster don’t you” He says sadly “I want you to know that I didn’t want this for you, I would give anything to take Joonmyun’s place but I can’t because the world is a hateful, hideously evil place and I have my own obligations to the government. If you weren’t here I guarantee you’d be dead”

“So you gave us the next best thing then?” Baekhyun seethes “At least when you die the pain stops. You only ever have to suffer once. How selfish are you to keep your son alive like this, you’ve only bought him misery”

“I’m only human Baekhyun I have to be selfish sometimes. Your suffering is not forever”

“The pain may stop but we’ll always be your prisoners”

“He’s done Baekhyun, you can go into the chambers now” Dr. Kim gestured

“Go to hell” Baekhyun replied before striding into the now cold furnace.

Chanyeol was charred black tip to toe lying lifelessly on the floor. For a moment Baekhyun thought he hadn’t made it but he noticed the burns weren’t there.

“Chanyeol” he gently knelt down to nudge the other awake. Suddenly Chanyeol burst into flames startling Baekhyun “Chanyeol! Do you need a doctor? Do you need water? Please reply to me!”

“I’m fine Byun Baek” Chanyeol coughed opening his eyes “I don’t feel a thing”

“But you’re on fire!”

“I am indeed on fire and for once in my life it doesn’t bring searing pain. Instead I feel nothing”

“Can you turn it off so I can have a hug?” Baekhyun pleads in awe of the fiery male in front of him.

“Of course”

“It’s all over now” Baekhyun threads his hands through Chanyeol’s hair “You’re done”

“And I’m still here”

And for now at least Baekhyun feels the air returning to his lungs.