klgvneinfdkkkk llllsd abn milk saseeeefpaoanmlnan o cat oooo cats oeuieeennn se s sss lu a sehun’s aaweeee wa h oho ddstrtummm i love jongdae 4ever luhan is gay oeeidnrwefgwekn dns ddjoj uuugoooo

“Aw, come on,” Luhan pleads, blinking his long lashes for extra effect in the hopes of swaying his owner’s firm decision, “pretty, pretty please?” With his head of blond hair and fair skin, he looks like a martyr of innocence.

Minseok is not fooled. He doesn’t even glance at his catboy, who’s squished up on the same armchair beside him.

“I don’t want to hear another word about how you want me to go out clubbing because it’s my birthday,” Minseok says sternly. He aims the TV remote at the screen and switches to the cooking channel, to which Luhan wrinkles his nose at. Did Minseok not get enough of food at the café? “I’m too old to spend my nights dancing next to you, you know. And don’t think I’ve forgotten the last time you made me go to that seedy strip club with you and you ended up on the table.”

Luhan his head, acting like this awful crime he’s committed is totally normal for him. Well, it hadn’t actually been that awful; for some unexplainable reason that Luhan still refuses to divulge, the catboy had had too many drinks and pretended to be a stripper. It wasn’t until somebody had made grabby hands that Minseok’s terribly possessive streak surfaced and they were out faster than Luhan could put his pants back on.

“But the angry was awesome,” Luhan quips. He reaches out and pats Minseok’s face endearingly. "It keeps you young, so you should trust me when I say you don’t look your age.”

Minseok gives him a withering look and Luhan can rest assured there’s probably going to be more angry later tonight – but first, if Minseok was really going to have a boring ‘day to himself’ then what was Luhan going to do?

“Minseokkie, can I throw a little party?” he asks. “It’s going to be for you, but you don’t have to be part of it.”

His owner doesn’t reply for a moment, busy watching onions being sautéed in a pan. “…What’s the point of a party for me that I’m not part of?”

Touché, but Luhan’s not deterred. “So I have something to do today?” he suggests innocently. “I promise, I won’t invite more than two people!”

If it was only two others were coming, plus the possibility of having his catboy occupied for multiple hours on end, Minseok supposes he could say yes. He’ll be at home to keep an eye on them anyway and he can have his cooking channel all himself, what a bonus.

He grunts and in Luhan’s book of Minseok-grunts, it means go ahead.

Sehun stops the car outside Minseok’s house to drop Joonmyun off. He’d been somewhat apprehensive when he received Luhan’s text asking if Joonmyun wanted to come over to join the quiet celebrations for Minseok’s birthday. His concerns had settled when he was told Kris’s kitties would be there and Minseok (read: somebody responsible) would be present.

“Have you got everything?” Sehun inquires as Joonmyun opens the car door to get out. “Cellphone? Spare money? Milk?”   

“Yep! Bye, Sehun!”

“Text me when you want to be picked up, okay?” Sehun waits until someone opens the door and lets Joonmyun in before he drives off.

“Glad you could make it, Joonkitty,” the catboy perched on the kitchen barstool says, grinning from ear to ear.

Joonmyun gulps, his hands instantly clutching his satchel tighter. “Hi Jongdae,” he says, already starting to not feel so good when he notices the other catboy’s eyes fall on his bag. His diary’s in there since he’s planned to write something in if he got bored at Minseok’s party, but it had slipped his mind that his not-so-favourite diary stealer might be there too. “Is – is it just three of us?”

Luhan raises a brow. “Didn’t Sehun say who else was coming?” he asks.

“No, he just said there would be lots of friends for me to play with.”

Jongdae spins around on his bar stool to face the line of drinks on the counter, none of which Joonmyun had noticed before. “Put your stuff down, small kitty. Don’t be shy and have some drinks to warm up.”

Luhan pours himself some rum while Joonmyun puts his belongings over by the wall. “, you any good with your alcohol?” he asks.

Joonmyun shakes his head nervously. “Jongin and Sehun let me have it if I want to, but only as much as I think I can handle,” he explains. “But I brought milk with me, so I don’t have to have–”

“So you mean you’ve never been drunk.” Jongdae smirks over the rim of his shot glass before he downs it in one go.

“Is it weird?” Joonmyun’s part curious and part frightened at the prospect of being drunk. Would he act really strangely? “I don’t think I should find out… I’ll get told off by Sehun.”

“Oh please,” Jongdae scoffs, helping himself to another shot. “I bet he gets off on humiliating you, seriously. You’ll probably end up tied to your bed to have your slapped and pounded afterwards, so what’s the problem?”

Joonmyun looks like he’s about to pass out. “I think I need a drink,” he says faintly, hopping off his stool to get his milk.

Luhan intercepts him with a large cup of something pink, pushing it into his hands and leading him back to his stool. “Try it,” he urges, and then he suddenly produces a bag of chocolate fish from some unknown place, “and you can have one of these while you’re at it.”

Joonmyun’s kitty ears perk up at the chocolate fish. Maybe one sip then. It’s okay – if he doesn’t like it then he can always drink something else, right?

But it’s sweet and fizzy and tastes like berries and something else, and he drinks it all.

“What is it?” he says, peering into his empty cup. Jongdae snickers because the tiny catboy truly seems sad that there’s no more.
“Raspberry and lemonade,” Luhan replies, a sneaky gleam in his eye. “And a splash of vodka or two.”

“Four, actually,” Jongdae corrects him after another shot.

“I don’t know what you’re having four of, but it better not be something silly,” Minseok’s voice cuts through and he walks through the kitchen to get a drink of water. “I gotta pop into work to handle the lunch rush. Don’t let me come home to find the house trashed, got it?”

“Yes, master,” Luhan answers sweetly, brushing Minseok’s hand with his tail when his owner walks past.

“Vodka?” Joonmyun wonders as soon as the front door shuts.

“Extra flavour,” Jongdae guffaws, and then he nearly falls off his bar stool when Joonmyun asks for some more raspberry and lemonade.

“With lots of flavour,” he adds, and Luhan snorts so hard he accidentally inhales some rum and enters a coughing episode.

Joonmyun is happy to slurp raspberry and lemonade (and vodka) until Jongdae and Luhan find something for the three of them to do.

“Poker,” Jongdae demands, and Luhan says “you’re on.” Joonmyun doesn’t know how to play so he sits on the side with his drink to watch them. Luhan offers him three chocolate fish if he swears not to support Jongdae during the game.

Joonmyun, it appears, is not a depressed drunk. He’s not a talkative drunk, nor an energetic one despite the amount of sugar he’s had. He’s not even a happy drunk, and neither of the other two catboys know what to do with him.

“Oh my god, he’s himself again,” Jongdae groans, pointing to where Joonmyun’s curled up against Luhan’s hip, mouth open and tongue running across his arm. Like a real cat.

“This is like cavemen for humans,” Luhan remarks, his cheeks and face red from alcohol. He pokes Joonmyun’s cheek and the catboy meows in protest, batting Luhan’s hand away. “You’ve become like, an animal again.”

Meow, Joonmyun repeats, eyes blinking back at him.

“I don’t understand cat speak anymore, Joonkitty.” Jongdae makes a face at Joonmyun, who shrinks further back against Luhan’s side, kitty ears laid back threateningly and tail raised. Jongdae just laughs at the sight and returns his attention to the game of poker. “, I only got a pair.”

“Full house!” Luhan crows, throwing his cards down. “Drink up, loser!”

“Piss off.” Jongdae grumbles and burps after another shot of tequila. Maybe today’s not his lucky day.

“Oi, and the money!”

Jongdae pelts Luhan with poker chips.

“Ow, you piece of , you’re on your own for your next heat cycle you little – what?” Luhan stops mid-insult to deal with Joonmyun, now yowling loudly as he takes cover from the chips behind the blond catboy’s back. “What’s wrong with you now? Did we run out of chocolate fish?” He glances around for the bag of them but it’s still half-full.

Joonmyun nuzzles his head against Luhan’s shoulder.

“I think he wants you to pet him,” Jongdae supplies dryly.

“How do you know, non-cat speaker?” Luhan shoots back. But he reaches out and gives Joonmyun a scratch behind his kitty ears and the catboy purrs, clinging back to his hip again.

That’s pretty much all it takes to keep him engaged for the rest of the afternoon while Luhan and Jongdae with chocolate fish, play more rounds of poker, swear at full volume and throw poker chips at each other.

“, Minseok’s gonna be home soon,” Luhan panics. “What do we do?”

“Hand over half of your round’s winnings and I’ll tell you,” Jongdae tells him.

Joonmyun had fallen asleep some time ago, and they hadn’t even noticed until his purring had died down. Luhan’s hand was starting to get cramped from so much and petting and he’d promptly thanked the gods for their miracle.

“What the ,” Luhan says. “Just because you can’t even win your own money.”

“Just put him in your bed and say he’s wants to stay the night,” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “You take him away, I’ll send the text.”

It sounds like a solid plan. Luhan hauls some drunk kitty to the spare guest room and comes back into the lounge to find Jongdae flipping through the pages of Joonmyun’s diary. Luhan checks Joonmyun’s phone to make sure an appropriate text has been sent to Sehun.

Jongdae’s so cool. Can I stay over at Luhan’s house? We’re watching movies.

Watching movies? Joonmyun’s watching the back of his eyelids right now, but it’ll do.

“What are you doing?” Luhan asks, staring over Jongdae’s shoulders to see the diary entries.

“I think he forgot to write something for today,” Jongdae says, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Hey, if I were Joonkitty, drunk and reverted to my cat days, what would I write in my diary?”   

um ok this got out of hand and I didn’t even know I had almost 2000 words but you have no idea how much I wanted to continue it oh my god im 999% tempted to rewrite this drabble into a full chapter