*I'm Gonna;

"I'm gonna wake up tomorrow."

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The sky was orange, as it indicates the day coming to a slow ending. Fluffy-looking clouds that once contrasted the bright blue sky in noon were now flying away, some disappearing away into precipitation, some moving across the world to another location in the world. Minseok thought it was nice; to know that, at least, knowing that someone out there might be looking up at the sky, and realizing that it was probably the same one as he was. Nevertheless, though, they all were looking at the same moon, same sky, at some point in their life.

He missed Heechul.

Since the day the male left for university in America, five years ago, he’d found himself staring endlessly into the sky. During the day, maybe sometimes at night. And everyday, he’d tell himself that tomorrow, he’ll wake up, and receive the message on the screen on his phone again, like everyday. “Hey :)”, “Good morning”, “How’s Korea?”, “Have you had breakfast yet, Baozi?”, these messages were the things he’d depended himself on. To have a nice day, to smile, to know that there’s someone thinking of him. Often, he’d leave the message be and not reply to it; Heechul never minded the fact that he wasn’t too good of a texter. But lately, he’d tried to reply to it, whenever his phone vibrated. Well, it’s the only thing that kept him alive. Heechul’s texts were everything that he’d ever wanted. It’s what’s keeping him alive.

Then, his phone vibrated. His heavy eyelids slowly lifted up, a pair of once expressive eyes stared blankly at the phone in front of his face, right next to the pillow. He could hear the birds chirping; it’s the morning already. Seven thirty, he guessed? Slowly, his hand started to stumble upwards, until a cold feeling of the cold material of the phone came into his senses…

It’s been a while. Maybe a year or two since the last time he was able to read the things that made him smile. He remembered it well, the day that his car flipped over and the painfully stinging feeling pierced into his eyes...and then...they were gone. His visions. Everything. All he saw was black. Thank God his arms, fingers, legs, and toes were still able to move. Though...what did it mean when he couldn’t see where he’d be going? It’s like walking through an endless desert, no destination to head to, no one to look for.

But he feels it, when the tears would come rolling down his face, when the doctor had told him there was an unknown location of an internal bleeding that was caused by the harsh effect of him falling out of the broken window. He was lucky though, that he didn’t fall too far down the cliff that it was impossible for the rescue team to help him back up and send him to the hospital before time. Unfortunately, though...since that day, he was told that, since the location of the internal bleeding was unknown, he won’t be living for much longer. For the first time in eight years on that day, he’d cried. Not because he knew he was going to die sooner or later, but because he wouldn’t be able to see Heechul. Not anymore. That wouldn’t be able to feel the warmth that used to embrace him when he’s scared. Not anymore.

And now...he’s scared. So scared, that he’s never going to be able to love Heechul, once he becomes nothing but a never-again-to-breath corpse.

He still tells himself that he’ll be waking up tomorrow. It’s the hope, now, that keeps his heart beating.

Minseok tried to lift a smile, but as he did, everything was painful. Warm liquid fell down the sides of his face again, drawing trails of water across his small nose, under his eyelashes, and onto the pillow. Then, suddenly, his phone started vibrating again, only this time, it was a phone call. Guessing the position of the god damned position of the green Answer button, Minseok risked his luck. To his surprise, the voice on the other line spoke.

“Baozi?” Heechul spoke, gently, calmly, sweetly. More tears continued to roll. It hurts so much, now. It hurts so much...

“Hyung...I’m scared.”

“...” Don’t stay silent, hyung. I want to hear your voice, I want to hear it one last time.

“Tell me I’m going to wake up tomorrow, hyung…”

“...You’re going to wake up tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. You’re going to wake up.”

“I’m gonna wake up tomorrow, Heechul-hyung. I’ll wake up tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. Forever, I’ll wake up.”

“I’ll wake up tomorrow.”

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