Himchan was losing his mind.  He hardly slept at all last night.  His thoughts were running all over the place, overanalyzing the small peck on the lips that he gave Zelo.  It also did not escape Himchan’s attention that neither Yongguk nor Jongup had come home last night, but he couldn’t even focus on that.

 

Himchan brought his hand up and touched his lips.  “So soft,” he whispered, remembering how Zelo’s lips felt on his.  He quickly shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts.  “He’s the maknae, the freakishly tall rapper, whose voice just started to crack.”

 

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Daehyun asked as he came into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing at his eyes.

 

“Uh, nothing,” Himchan mumbled, quickly turning away from the vocalist to hide his growing blush.

 

“Shouldn’t you be making breakfast?” the younger asked as he poured himself a glass of milk and sat down at the table.

 

“Yah!  What am I, the cook?” Himchan asked, turning around to glare at Daehyun.  “I shouldn’t be making breakfast.  I should be resting my poor little leg.”

 

Daehyun rolled his eyes and whined, “Hyung, Zelo isn’t here to make you sit down right now, so make breakfast.  Please?!  Palli!”

 

Himchan just frowned at Daehyun before he eventually consented and began making breakfast, but not happily.  Daehyun on the other hand could care less how loud Himchan was banging the pots and pans around, just so long as he got breakfast.

 

“What’s going on?” Youngjae asked groggily as he stumbled into the kitchen, followed by what looked like a sleep-walking Zelo.  “What’s all that noise?”

 

“Himchannie-hyung is making breakfast,” Daehyun said happily, smiling while sitting at the table quite patiently.

 

Youngjae and Zelo both sat down at the table as well.  Zelo practically fell down into his chair and rested his head on the table, trying to go back to sleep there.

 

“Mianhe,” Himchan mumbled, unintentionally staring at Zelo.  “I didn’t mean to wake you guys up.”

 

“It’s fine,” Youngjae said before yawning.  “I would be getting up around this time anyway I suppose.”

 

“Ne,” Himchan replied absentmindedly, too focused on staring at the maknae.

 

Daehyun, who noticed Himchan’s sudden cease of cooking, tried to get the older’s attention.  “Hyung?  Himchan-hyung?” he called.  “The breakfast!”

 

“Ne,” Himchan repeated dumbly.  Daehyun and Youngjae worriedly looked at each other.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Youngjae whispered to Daehyun, who only shrugged in response.

 

Zelo, who was futilely trying to sleep, heard Youngjae and lifted his head to see what they meant.  His eyes locked with Himchan’s for a second before the older blushed and quickly looked away.  Zelo looked confusedly at Himchan before he realized something.

 

“Where’s Yongguk-hyung and Jongup-hyung?” Zelo asked.

 

“Oh!  They didn’t come back did they?” Youngjae asked, sitting up straighter.

 

Himchan wanted to answer them, but he was worried about facing Zelo again.  He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves.

 

“Hyung, you don’t think that anything happened to them, do you?” Zelo asked, jumping out of his chair, completely awake then.

 

Daehyun, Youngjae, and Zelo all looked at Himchan for an answer, but the older never even turned around.  He continued making them breakfast as if he didn’t even here Zelo in the first place.

 

“Hyung!?” Zelo yelled, tears running down his face.

 

Himchan tried mentally preparing himself before he slowly turned around.  “Hm?”

 

Daehyun looked at Himchan incredulously.  “Do you know where Yongguk-hyung and Jongup are?”

 

Himchan glanced at Zelo’s face and suddenly his chest felt tight.  It’s like he couldn’t breathe easily.  “I…” Himchan wasn’t really sure what to say, but seeing how distraught Zelo was made Himchan steel his nerves.  “Don’t cry, Junhongie,” Himchan said, going to the youngest and pulling him into a hug.  “I’m sure that Yongguk and Jongup are okay.”

 

“But they were supposed to come home last night,” Zelo choked out between sobs.

 

Just then, Yongguk and Jongup both stepped into the kitchen, wearing the same clothes that they were wearing the day before.

 

“Sorry we’re late,” Yongguk said sheepishly.

 

“Where have you two been?!” Himchan shouted, unloading all of the tension he felt around Zelo earlier.  “We’ve been worried sick!  And just look at Zelo!  You made the baby cry!”

 

“I’m not a baby, hyung,” Zelo mumbled quietly, but was looking at Yongguk and Jongup for an explanation, just as Himchan, Daehyun, and Youngjae were.

 

Yongguk scratched the back of his neck and opened his mouth to respond, but Jongup walked in front of him and bowed 90 degrees.

 

“Mianhe,” Jongup said as he remained bowing.  “Mianhe, hyungs and Junhong.  It’s my fault that we got held up and sidetracked.  Don’t be mad at Yongguk-hyung.”

 

Yongguk sighed before pulling Jongup up from bowing.  “What did I tell you?” he asked the dancer.  “It’s not your fault.  We both lost track of time, and I was the one that thought that we should just stay in the company building since it was so late.”

 

“And you couldn’t call me to let me know anything?!” Himchan asked, hands on his hips.

 

“Mianhe,” Jongup mumbled, bowing again.

 

Yongguk rolled his eyes and pulled Jongup back up again.  He wanted to tell the younger to stop apologizing, but the current situation did call for apologies.  He just wished that the younger didn’t feel like everything was his fault.

 

“We’re both sorry,” Yongguk grumbled, sounding anything but sorry, as he tugged on Jongup’s arm and went to leave the kitchen.

 

“Where are you going now?” Himchan asked, incredulously.

 

“To talk,” Yongguk answered.  “We’ll be in the living room.”

 

After Yongguk and Jongup left the kitchen, Himchan frowned at Daehyun and Youngjae.  “And why was I the only one asking all the questions?” he asked.

 

“Because you ask them so well,” Youngjae replied smartly, causing Himchan to roll his eyes.

 

“Hyung, what about breakfast?  It isn’t done yet,” Daehyun whined.

 

“Araso, araso,” Himchan responded, holding his hands up in a surrendering way.  “But first, are you okay, Junhongie?”

 

Zelo pouted and said, “Hyung, stop babying me.”

 

“Says the one who looks like a baby,” Himchan replied, smiling, causing Zelo to pout even more.  Himchan was just about to pinch Zelo’s cheeks when Daehyun groaned.

 

“Hyung~  Breakfast!”

 

Himchan sighed and went back over to the stove.  “Will you have some patience?”

 

“There’s no coming in between Dae and food,” Youngjae said, shaking his head disappointedly at Daehyun before looking over at Himchan.  “I tried once and this food monster tried to eat my hand.  Literally!  You remember that time when I had those bite marks on my hand.”

 

Himchan laughed.  “It’s a good thing gloves went with those leather outfits we were wearing, or our fans would have been wondering who gave you those love bites.”

 

“Those weren’t love bites!” Daehyun responded, aghast.  “I was just hungry and Jae was in the way.”  Youngjae harrumphed and turned the other way, so Daehyun poked the younger’s side and added, “Although he did taste pretty good, just needed a little bit of seasoning.”

 

“Seasoning?!  I don’t need any seasoning.  I taste perfect the way I am,” Youngjae said, making Himchan and Daehyun laugh.  Even Youngjae began to laugh at the absurdity of what he had just said.

 

“Hyung!” Zelo said all of a sudden, immediately getting everyone’s attention.

 

“What is it, Zelo?” Himchan asked.

 

“Your leg!”

 

Himchan’s eyes grew larger when he realized what Zelo was trying to say.  He mentally cursed and said, “Ani, ani, ani,” over and over in his head like a mantra.

 

“You aren’t supposed to be up,” Zelo said, standing up and going over to Himchan, prepared to take over making breakfast.

 

Himchan sighed and started to pout.  “Aw, Junhong, my leg is fine!”

 

“Yeah, Zelo, just let hyung finish breakfast,” Daehyun said with a hopeful face.

 

“Ani,” Zelo replied, pushing Himchan over to the table.  “I’ll make it.”

 

Daehyun frowned as Himchan sat down, pouting.  On the inside, however, Himchan was smiling at how caring Zelo was of him.  And just like that, Himchan’s mind went back to the kiss and he was blushing again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not Your Fault~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I can’t help it,” Jongup mumbled, looking down at the floor.

 

Yongguk sighed.  “I know, and it’s okay to apologize.  It was actually appropriate in that situation.  We should apologize, but you don’t need to take all the blame,” Yongguk said.  He sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to him.  Jongup looked like he was going to refuse, but he eventually went over and sat next to Yongguk.  “We both lost track of time, we both stayed the night.  I’m just as much to blame as you are, if not more.”

 

Jongup shook his head and went to stand up, but Yongguk held him down.  “You only lost track of time because you were dealing with me,” he said, looking away from the leader.”

 

Yongguk just stared at Jongup while the younger refused to look at him.  Eventually he quietly asked, “Jongup, what do you think of me?”

 

The younger finally looked at Yongguk, a confused expression on his face.  “Mwo?  Wae?”

 

“Just tell me,” Yongguk said, unconsciously rubbing Jongup’s arm.

 

Jongup was aware of Yongguk’s had on his arm, slowly moving around, tracing an invisible pattern on his arm.  “I… I think hyung is nice… and hardworking.”

 

Yongguk nodded and waited for Jongup to continue.

 

Jongup sighed and asked, “Do I have to do this?  It’s embarrassing.”

 

Yongguk chuckled before he stood up and looked around the room.  “Do you think that I’m mean and vindictive?”

 

Jongup scoffed and stood up too.  “Of course not,” he replied.

 

“Do you think that I’m a person that would hold a grudge?” Yongguk asked as he turned to face Jongup.

 

Jongup shook his head.  “Hyung might have a mean appearance, but you’re really nice and you care a lot for people.”

 

Yongguk genuinely smiled before he looked at Jongup seriously.  “Why do you think that I’m so mad at you then?  Why do you think that I’d blame you for what happened?”

 

“Because you helped me!” Jongup said frantically.  “You helped me, but I didn’t help you!”

 

Yongguk shook his head and grabbed Jongup’s hands.  “You did help me,” he said, trying to get Jongup to understand.  “You called for help.  I made it to the hospital because of you.”

 

Jongup jerked his hands away from Yongguk’s and walked over to the other side of the room.  All Yongguk could see was the younger’s back, but when he saw hands appear on the younger’s sides, he knew that Jongup was hugging himself.  He heard the quiet sobs escape the dancer.

 

“Jongup…” he called out, reaching for the younger, but Jongup moved further away from him.

 

“Why… why did you get hurt?” Jongup asked.

 

Yongguk went to answer that it was because of those three men in the alley, but Jongup continued.

 

“Why did both you and Himchannie-hyung get hurt, but I’m okay?”

 

“Jonguppie, that’s a good thing,” Yongguk replied, stepping closer to Jongup.  “I’m so glad that you’re okay.”

 

“But I’m not okay!” Jongup turned around and shouted.  Tears were rushing down his face.  The others came running out of the kitchen when they heard Jongup yell.

 

“Hyung, you shouldn’t be on your leg,” Zelo said, trying to usher Himchan back into the kitchen.

 

“Shh!” Himchan told him, leaning on the maknae even though he could walk perfectly fine on his own.  “What’s going on in here?”

 

“Hyung!” Jongup cried out when he saw Himchan.

 

At seeing Jongup’s distraught and tear-stained face, Himchan got worried.  “Jonguppie…”

 

“Mianhe, hyung,” Jongup said.  “It’s my fault!  It was my fault!”

 

“Jongup,” Yongguk said sternly.

 

“It is my fault!” the dancer yelled at the leader.  “I was a coward when my hyungs needed me!  I- I went down that alley even after you told me not too!  I saw them, hyung.  I saw them!  I wanted to tell you when you came after me, that there was someone in the shadows, but I couldn’t!  I just stood there like an idiot!”

 

“Jongup!” Yongguk shouted now, pulling the younger into a hug.  Himchan, Daehyun, Youngjae, and Zelo just stood there, not knowing what to do.  They had never seen their happy, dance-loving, moon angel, Jonguppie so upset over anything.

 

Jongup pushed at Yongguk, trying to get out of the hug.  “You should hate me!” he said.  “You should all hate me!”

 

“I could never hate you,” Yongguk said, as he too started to cry.  It hurt him that Jongup was in so much pain.

 

Jongup’s legs gave out.  He fell and pulled Yongguk down with him.  “I didn’t want you to get hurt, but because of me…”

 

“No!  It’s not your fault!”

 

“You were just lying there,” Jongup mumbled between sobs.  “I went to check on you, but you wouldn’t move.  I couldn’t tell if you were breathing.  I kept calling you, but you weren’t…  You weren’t…”

 

“Jongup just breathe,” Yongguk said, pulling back from the younger.  Jongup had started to hyperventilate.

 

“Hyung,” Jongup called, looking at Yongguk worriedly when he couldn’t calm down.

 

“Just breathe slowly,” Yongguk said, demonstrating how the younger should be breathing.  Jongup began breathing with Yongguk and eventually calmed down.  Jongup’s quiet sobs were the only sound in the room until the younger looked up at Yongguk’s concerned face.

 

“Mianhe, hyung,” Jongup replied before looking at Himchan and repeating, “mianhe, hyung.”

 

“I told you to stop apologizing,” Yongguk whispered to the younger.

 

“Mianhe,” Jongup responded before laughing.

 

Yongguk laughed too before he started to silently cry.

 

“Wae?” Jongup asked, wiping at his own tears.  “Why are you crying?”

 

“I care about you so much,” Yongguk said as he began to furiously wipe at his face, like he was frustrated for crying.  “I hate seeing you like this.”

 

“Mia-”  Yongguk glared at Jongup, causing the younger to stop mid apology.  “I… um… I’ll work on it.”

 

Yongguk smiled and nodded.  “And I’m here for you.  I’ll help.”

 

Jongup smiled, and a few tears fell from his eyes again.  He leaned forward and hugged Yongguk.  “Just don’t… just don’t leave me, hyung.  Please, don’t leave me.”

 

“Never,” Yongguk responded, holding on to Jongup tighter, oblivious to the four people tip toeing back into the kitchen.

 

________________________________________________________________________________

A/N:  So I don't know if any of you have ever hyperventialated before, but it is not fun.  It's hard to calm down from that.

Anyway, so I'm pretty much done with any dramatic Jongup outbursts, Yongguk will be helping him, but everything is not completely fine now. ;-)

 

I like this chapter, but I'm not completely satisfied with it, because I feel like nothing new really happened - except for me managing to have more Daehyun and Youngjae in it (even if not by much) - it just feels kind of like filler to me.  But there will be more coming up.  Oh, did you notice?  My chapters keep getting longer and longer.  I hope that's okay.  I'm more used to writing 2,000+ words per chapter anyway.

 

Tell me what you think :)