Yuri was leaning against her armchair; looking out of her office window. Her office was located on the highest floor so the view was simply breathtaking and not to mention; it helped Yuri to calm her down if she was ever stressed up with work. Suddenly there was an intercom buzzer coming from her assistant.

“Yes?”

“Miss Kwon, someone’s here to see you.”

Yuri’s lips crept into a smile. She knew who that person was.

“Please let her in.”

“Yes, Miss Kwon.”

Yuri stood up and went over to her door. She was waiting at the door when the lady walked in with a smile on her face. Yuri reached out for her hand before pulling her to the sofa.

“Any drinks?”

“A glass of water will do.”

“Alright.”

Yuri stood up and went over to her bar counter at the corner of her office. She took out a bottle of mineral water and gave it to her guest.

“I’m so glad that you contacted me two weeks ago. I was so ecstatic to know you were coming back.”

“You’re still as the hyper Yuri that I’ve known all along?”

“I’m still the same Kwon Yuri.”

Her guest smiled widely and Yuri felt ease. It has been a long time since she last saw her guest.

“But are you coming home for good?”

The latter shrugged her shoulders.

“Aren’t you home for a reason?”

“I’m not sure. I’m still hesitating.”

“Is it still that bad?”

“I have no idea. I’m just enjoying my singlehood.”

“Oh? But she’s been waiting for you.”

Yuri’s guest was smiling before nodding her head.

“I know. Just give me some time.”

“Nevetheless, welcome back! I’m just glad you’re home now.”

The lady hugged her tightly before pulling her away. She was frowning at Yuri.

“What?”

“What did you do to my sister?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“She was complaining to me in the email. Have you been treating her badly?”

Yuri’s shoulders were hanging lowly in defeat. She sighed.

“I didn’t know your sister has the best aegyo of all the girls I have dated.”

“Is that a compliment or complain?”

“Do you think I dare to complain?”

The lady laughed loudly.

“Im Yoona, it’s not funny.”

“Well it is now. I didn’t know you’re that henpecked!”

“Shut up.”

Yoona was snickering away; leaving Yuri more annoyed than ever. But Yuri was glad that Yoona was back. It had been 3 years since she left the country.

Yuri could still remember to the time where they thought Yoona wanted to kill herself. It was just too chaotic and Yuri almost got a heart attack when Yoona almost slipped.

“YOONA!”

Yuri increased her speed; leaving Tiffany and Jessica behind her. She wasn’t going to lose anyone; especially not her best friend. She has yet to seek forgiveness from Yoona. She knew Yoona was hurting the most between the four of them. She could have avoided such situations if she wasn’t too dumb back then.

Yuri saw Yoona standing at the edge of the bridge; her heart was thumping rapidly. She was not ready to let Yoona go.

“YOONA! STOP!”

She could hear Jessica screaming behind her. Jessica was horrified to learn that Yoona wanted to end her life. She was pleading and begging Yuri to hurry when they were driving to the bridge. Tiffany suddenly recalled this bridge. She used to go there with Yoona when they were little. They used to play by the river bank.

Yoona was frowning at them; Yuri wasn’t too sure if she was unhappy that we found her too quickly. Yuri was just afraid that she would jump on impulse. She ran quicker.

“Yoona! Stay there!”

“Why?”

“Just stay there! Don’t move!”

Yoona was staring weirdly at Yuri. Tiffany was crying and Jessica stopped right in behind Yuri.

“Yoona, you don’t have to do this!”

Jessica was clearly terrified. Yuri could see it clearly written in her eyes.

“What am I supposed to be doing?”

Yoona was confused.

“Yoona, I know your heart is broken. But you don’t have to do this!”

“What am I doing? I’m just standing here?”

“Yoona, don’t scare Unnie.”

“Unnie? Why are you crying until like that?”

“You don’t have to leave unnie. You promise you’ll look after Lincoln with me.”

Yoona was burrowing her eyebrows together. She was staring at them as they were gasping for air.

“What are you girls doing here?”

“We should be asking you that! What are you doing over at the edge of the bridge?!”

Jessica was losing her temper. She would always do that when she was terrified or scared or worried over something or someone.

“Jessica, didn’t you say you wanted to leave?”

“How could I leave when you’re doing this?”

Yoona scrutinized the three girls’ faces carefully. They looked terrified; worried and anxious over something – in fact, they were anxious over her. Yoona finally got the picture.

“Wait, are you thinking that I might want to commit suicide here?”

“YES!”

The girls replied in unison. Yoona was deadpan.

“What on earth would I do that for?!”

“Your SMS to me was upsetting. You sound like you gave up. And then you said goodbye to your sister before hanging up on her abruptly. You know how worried she was?!”

Yoona turned to her sister who was crying openly.

“Unnie? Did I scare you?”

“Yes, Yoona. You were! I was so scared that you decided to leave me behind! Didn’t you say you were the stronger one among the two of us? But if you leave me, then what would become of me? You know I’m only stronger when you’re with me.”

“Yoona...”

Yoona turned to the girl who broke her heart. Yoona grimaced; making Jessica felt even worse. She walked two steps closer towards Yoona.

“Yoona..”

Her voice was quivering and Yoona noticed her hands trembled. Yuri was looking on; Jessica was trying to get closer.

“Yoona, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. I know I broke your heart. But I cannot afford to lose you, Yoona.”

That was new. Yoona was taken aback at Jessica’s confession. Yuri felt something tugging at her heart.

“Yoona, I heard your confession when I was comatose. I never realize how much you love me until that day. Honestly, my heartstrings were tugging when you confessed. I know you care about me more than Yuri ever did.”

Jessica turned to Yuri who was already looking away.

“I love Yuri. I still do. But I know deep down in her heart, there’s no place for me. There’s only Tiffany.  I could never fill in that void that Tiffany had left in Yuri’s heart. But..”

Yuri turned to look at Jessica. She wished Jessica would have stopped talking because it hurt. Even Tiffany was feeling the heat as well.

“I didn’t realize that the void Yuri had left in my heart was slowly filled by you. Yoona, it scares the hell out of me when Yuri told me you were trying to kill yourself. My world suddenly collapsed and the thought of not ever seeing you again was tormenting me. What if you die? What if you leave me alone in this world; and what if all this while the person who is actually living in my heart has always been you?”

Jessica’s tears kept falling and Yoona was still focusing on her.

“Yoona, I realized something.”

Their eyes met. Yuri was watching and Tiffany was standing there; looking on.

“I asked myself this question when Yuri drove all the way here. I asked this question.”

Jessica paused; wiped her tears away and then looked up. She was staring deeply into Yoona’s eyes. She wanted to let Yoona see her sincerity.

 “What if Yoona’s the one in my heart all this while but I was so stupid to let her go because I was hurting; what if Yoona really left me eternally, what the hell should I do? When I realized the answer was regret and pain, I knew I had made the wrong decision.”

“What are you trying to say, unnie?”

“Yoona, I’m not willing to let you leave me just like that.”

“But you told me to focus my love to someone who deserves it better.”

Jessica was stunned.

“For your information, I wasn’t planning to end my life. I was just sitting here; deciding on what I should do next. You gave me the ultimatum when you said goodbye. That’s when I learnt that love is so difficult even if you could try as hard as you can. No matter what I’ve done for you, you could never open your heart and let me in. Even if you did, you would close it up immediately when Yuri comes into the picture once again.”

Jessica’s eyes were searching for Yoona’s. What was Yoona talking about now? Was she rejected by Yoona too?

“I’m not going to ask you to let me in anymore. I’ll listen to you. I’ll find someone else who deserve better than you.”

“What..?”

“Yoona! What are you talking about?”

Yoona sighed as she climbed over the railing. She stood in front of Jessica; stretching her arms out to her. She pulled Jessica closer and hugged her.

“I don’t want to get hurt like how you got your heart broken so many times by Yuri. If you’re telling me now that you love me, I cannot accept it. You thought I was going to kill myself so that’s why you forced yourself to say you love me.”

“No.. Yoona...”

“I’m not going to end my life over something like this. But I’ve decided on something.”

The three other girls were relieved and curious at the same time. Yoona bit her lower lip; wondering if she should tell them that she had the intention to leave.

“I have decided to take up my boss’s offer to work in UK for 3 years.”

The girls were stunned.

*

Jessica was busy in her office. Well, she had been busy for the last 3 years. Ever since Yoona left the country to work in UK, Jessica kept herself busy with work. She couldn’t blame Yoona for leaving. Even though what she realized in her heart was actually more than just affection – it was actually love but it was too late. Yoona wasn’t willing to get hurt anymore.

So she let Yoona leave.  She let Yoona find her own happiness. Yoona almost gave her one but Jessica was the one who pushed her away.

After Yoona’s departure, Jessica plunged into work. She tried to move on but it was redundant. She gave up trying to move on. She would just live her life the way she wanted to.

“Hi!”

“! Kwon Yuri, what are you planning to do?!”

Jessica got a shock of her life when Yuri jumped in front of her with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. She looked up.

“What’s this?”

“Flowers?”

“Whatever for?”

“For you. Who else could it be for?”

“It could be for Tiffany.”

“She’s angry with me.”

“Oh, so you’re planning to flirt with me the moment Tiffany’s mad at you?”

Yuri frowned before pulling the calendar from Jessica’s shelf.

“Do you know what day is today?”

“April 18.”

“Yeah, and do you know what’s the special occasion?”

Jessica was confused. She shook her head.

“You’re kidding me.”

“What is it? Is it your birthday? Wait, no. Your birthday is in December.”

“How on earth you could remember my birthday but not yours?”

Jessica’s eyes grew larger.

“OH!”

“Yes, oh. And Happy Birthday to you.”

Yuri rolled her eyes when Jessica quickly took the bouquet of flowers and hugged her immediately.

“I’m sorry. I thought you were flirting with me.”

“Please don’t say that again. You might get me into trouble with Tiffany again.”

Jessica grinned before Yuri playfully smacked her wide forehead. Jessica retaliated with a poke on Yuri’s sides.

“So what are you planning to do today?”

“Work then go home; eat dinner and sleep.”

“You’re not celebrating your birthday?”

“No?”

“No way! You’re going out to celebrate!”

“Why? I don’t feel like enjoying my birthday.”

“You have been living like a hermit for the past 3 years.”

“I enjoy it anyway.”

“I don’t.”

“You’re just too greedy. You cannot get the best of me and Tiffany at the same time!”

“You’re my best friend too!”

“You threw a frog onto my bed on April Fool’s last year.”

“Could you forget about that? I told you I wasn’t on purpose. Lincoln wanted a pet.”

“And you have to get him a frog?!”

“It’s a boy’s pet!”

“I’m so glad Tiffany flushed him down the toilet bowl.”

“I cried for days because of that!”

“And Lincoln wouldn’t even care if his pet frog was dead.”

“I didn’t know you’re so mean.”

“You didn’t know a lot of things about me, Yuri.”

Yuri quickly wrapped her arms around Jessica.  Her heart would feel the pain if Jessica reminded her of the past.  Jessica enjoyed the warmth from Yuri’s embrace but she was just treating Yuri as her best friend.

It was just so ironic on how the two ladies buried the hatchet and patched up together as friends. Jessica was getting lonely when Yoona left for UK. It was Yuri who took the initiative to accompany Jessica. Jessica was feeling weird at first but she soon realized that her heart has always preferred Yoona. She was just too blind in the past.

Yoona has left for almost two weeks. Jessica didn’t stop her. It was not because she didn’t want to but she just wanted to let Yoona think through about their relationship. The thought of losing Jessica to someone new scared her but if that was the case, Jessica could only accept it. If Yoona was meant to be hers, she would be with her one day.

But she was getting lonely in her newly rented apartment. She couldn’t live with Yuri anymore although the girl offered her the spare room. Jessica wanted to have her own space so that she could think carefully about her own feelings for Yoona too.

Realizing each day that living without Im Yoona was like the dullest moments of her life. Jessica kept reminiscing about the past when the younger lady took good care of her. She missed those moments; she particularly missed Yoona’s soft touches.

“Sigh. What the hell are you doing now, Jessica Jung?”

Stupidity and stubbornness to let go of the past led to the loss of her real happiness of the future. Jessica realized that she could move on so easily from Yuri but not with Yoona. She wasn’t willing to put the girl behind her; not for once.

“Yuri ah, let’s forget about the past.”

“Huh?”

“I’m willing to forgive you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, you’re looking so miserable every single day. I’ve already destroyed Yoona’s happiness. I think I shouldn’t be doing this to you either.”

“Wait a minute. That’s supposed to be my sentence. I was the one who destroyed your happiness.”

“Yeah, technically you did but Yoona was repairing it. I screwed it myself; not you.”

“Hang on. Are you telling me you’re in love with Yoona?”

“I’ve always been; I was just too blind to see. I hung on you because I thought you were my only one but Yoona was the one who has been filling up that void you dug in my heart.”

“Geez, you’re still so blunt with your words.”

“You made me like that.”

“Fine, you win.”

“Yuri ah, do you think Yoona will return?”

“I don’t know. But I hope she will. Do you miss her?”

Jessica smiled widely and nodded.

“I miss her so much, Yuri. I really do.”

*

Tiffany was watching the heavy rain pouring from her window. The rain droplets were hitting her window panes; and the mini waterfall washed from the top of the window to the window sled.

“Mom! Pee!”

Her 3 year old son bumped into her.

“Ow?”

“Mom, I want to pee!”

He changed his course and ran towards the bathroom. He discarded his shorts and underwear along the way. Tiffany rolled her eyes.

“Why are you like a snake shredding its skin along the way?”

“I cannot wait!”

Tiffany heard the peeing sound and her son sighed loudly. She couldn’t help but giggled to herself.

“Wash your hands, Lincoln.”

“Yes Mommy!”

Tiffany went to the kitchen after placing her son’s shorts on the side. The half boy was running to the kitchen. He grabbed his shorts and wore it quickly.

“Next time, you have to go to the toilet immediately when you feel like peeing; not wait until you have to pee badly.”

“I was playing!”

“Is playing more important than peeing?”

“Isn’t it?”

“Holding back your pee can cause medical conditions.”

“What holding back? What conditions?”

Tiffany’s words were too difficult for the 3 year old boy to understand. Tiffany’s strict like that. Her son was already confused.

“Tiffany, he’s too young to understand what you’re trying to tell him.”

Lincoln turned to find Yuri walking in with a huge paper bag. His eyes sparkled.

“Is that a toy?”

“No, it’s better than a toy.”

“How can anything else be better than a toy?”

Lincoln pouted his lips. Yuri grinned as she pulled out something from the paper bag. Lincoln’s pouted lips immediately salivated.

“FRIED CHICKEN!”

The boy jumped onto Yuri’s arms and hugged her tightly. Yuri then pulled him along to the kitchen with Tiffany looking on with a big smile on her face. She couldn’t believe that she could find happiness with Yuri. She never thought she could still have a complete family with a woman. And her son was still growing up perfectly well.

It took Tiffany awhile before she could accept Yuri into her life. After Yoona’s incident, Tiffany avoided Yuri. She felt extremely guilty. Although Jessica and Yoona insisted that it wasn’t her fault, Tiffany just couldn’t do it.

But Tiffany was feeling miserable. Yuri was constantly on her mind; she kept lurking wherever Tiffany went and Lincoln was missing Yuri a lot. Tiffany was slowly going crazy without Yuri by her side.

“Unnie, I’ve reached London.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“It’s extremely cold here.”

“Did you wear more clothes? Keep yourself warm, okay?”

“I will take care of myself. How are you doing there?”

“Doable I guess.”

“Doable? You sound like you’re feeling down.”

“Stop reading into my words.”

“Unnie, I’m your baby sister. I know you well.”

“Fine. I hate you sometimes for knowing me too well.”

“Hmpf!”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I love you so much too. It’s a love-hate relationship you know?”

“I should have guessed. So why are you feeling down?”

“I feel lost.”

“Lost? Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is this because of Yuri?”

“Are you a mind-reader?”

“No, I’m not. You only have two issues – Lincoln or Yuri. But Lincoln will not make you upset so I assume Yuri.”

Yoona knew her too well. She couldn’t understand why but she assumed all lesbians are sensitive like that. Perhaps that’s the reason why sometimes girls prefer to have girlfriends because they tend to understand each other better.

“What are you thinking of?”

Yuri suddenly appeared beside her.

“I was thinking of you.”

“Me? What’s wrong with me?”

“You’re just too good for me.”

Yuri smiled widely.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They were about to kiss each other but a loud shriek could be heard from the kitchen. The two ladies looked at each other; then turned to the incoming rascal. He pushed through them.

“MOM! I NEED TO NOW!”

The sweet moment was interrupted by a 3 year old boy who once again shed his clothes as he made a run for the bathroom.  Yuri was running after him; Tiffany was amused.

“LINCOLN! STOP DOING THAT!”

“I CANNOT WAIT!”

“How long have you been keeping your in your stomach?”

“Yuri omma, that sounds icky!”

“It stinks!”

What else can Tiffany ask for?

*

 

 

 

(Author's Note: There will be a second part of the Epilogue. Look out for it!)