Yuri decided to come clean with Jessica because she really wanted to move on with Tiffany. Others might feel that she was irresponsible and heartless for moving on while the girlfriend was suffering from amnesia. But Yuri has suffered as well and didn’t wish to drag it further for Jessica. So she called Jessica and set up an appointment at the old hang out – a coffee shop near to the seaside. It was Jessica’s favourite place.

But Yuri’s heart ached so badly the moment she saw Jessica walking through the door. She has grown thinner and her smile was no longer radiant like it used to.  Yuri suddenly couldn’t find any words to say the moment Jessica sat in front of her. Her tongue was tied out of sudden.

“Hi Yuri.”

Jessica smiled gently and Yuri’s heart ached even more.

“Hi Jessica.”

“This is a nice place.”

Yeah, you used to love going to this coffee house.

“Yup, I hope you like it.”

“I love it. The ambience is really nice and comfortable.”

It feels like home, isn’t it?

“It feels just like home.”

Yuri was taken aback when Jessica said that. It was like as thought Jessica could read her mind.  The waitress came and the pair ordered their drinks quickly. Yuri even ordered Jessica’s favourite snack – chicken ham sandwich with bacon and scrambled eggs.

“Wow, how did you know I love to eat scrambled eggs?”

“Oh, I noticed Yoona buys that a lot for you when we eat outside.”

Yuri lied. Of course she knew. She ordered for Jessica every time she came over. Jessica didn’t need to tell her.

“That’s sweet of you to notice that.”

Yuri just nodded and looked away. She was feeling uncomfortable. She was reminiscing about her past with Jessica unknowingly; it evoked all her emotions that she used to feel for Jessica. The coffee and tea came and Yuri reached out for the sugar sachets. She took one and tore the top part of the sachet. She poured half of the sugar into Jessica’s cup while the other into hers. Jessica was watching her all the time. Yuri paused for a moment.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Force of habit.”

“Force of habit?”

Yuri bit her tongue. What the hell was that? She wasn’t supposed to do this. She was used to do that when they were together but now Jessica couldn’t remember her.

“I used to do this for you and Yoona.”

Yuri lied again. It felt like to be lying to Jessica for every little thing that she did. She was supposed to do all these because she was her girlfriend. She was responsible for Jessica. But thankfully, Jessica just smiled and nodded her head. She watched as Yuri stirred her tea before pushing it closer to her.

“Enjoy.”

Yuri put on a big smile and Jessica returned it warmly.  The tanned lady looked away; suddenly wasn’t too sure if she should discuss about the things she wanted to earlier on.  The silence was killing her.

How am I supposed to break up with you, Jessica?

Yuri was perplexed.

*

Jessica looked on as Yuri nervously fidgeted about in her seat. She knew Yuri had something to tell her but she just couldn’t open to say it out. Jessica somehow knew Yuri had something in mind – maybe she was asking for a break up from her.  Jessica bit her lower lip.

“Sica..”

Yuri finally spoke up and Jessica missed her voice. She particularly missed the way Yuri called out to her. She missed Yuri’s affectionate “Sica” the most.

“Yes, Yuri?”

“I have something to say.”

Jessica looked up to find Yuri staring at her. Her eyes were watery and Jessica was wondering whether she was tearing up.

“What is it?”

“There’s something you should know.”

Jessica’s heart was getting painful. Yuri was really going to ask for a break up.

“Hm?”

“If one day you happen to find out the truth, please do not blame yourself or anyone but me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sica, we used to be in love. Well, you used to be in love with me. Deeply in love with me.”

Jessica stared at Yuri. She was really going to do this to her.

“I..I..”

Yuri was tongue-tied again.

“You what?”

Yuri took a deep breath. And Jessica held hers.

“You’re suffering from amnesia. I’m your girlfriend, not Yoona.”

Jessica knew what was on Yuri’s mind. She was going to break it clean with her.

Yuri, you’re such a .

Jessica was scoffing away.

*

“What?”

“Yoona, please forgive me.”

“What do you mean by that, unnie?”

“I was stupid, Yoona.”

“Did Yuri take advantage of you?!”

Tiffany looked away. And Yoona was fuming mad.

“HOW COULD SHE DO THAT?! JESSICA IS STILL ALIVE! SHE’S NOT DEAD YET!”

Tiffany felt the pinch. Yoona was cursing and swearing at the top of her voice. She was really pissed off with Yuri. Tiffany held on to her arms tightly.

“Yoona, are you mad at me?”

“You know this is wrong.”

“Yoona, I was too blinded by her words.”

“Let me ask you one question.”

“Yes?”

“Do you have feelings for Yuri after that?”

“What?”

“You’re straight, unnie. But now you’re vulnerable because Andrew oppa had died and you’re all alone; raising Lincoln by yourself. You feel lonely. And that’s why you think you need Yuri by your side. You fell for her words because she cares about you. But the thing is, do you love her? Or you just need her because she’s available?”

Tiffany was slightly offended with Yoona’s accusation but she couldn’t agree less that there was a possibility that she might be feeling that way.

“Unnie, stop hurting yourself. I’m already done with Jessica getting hurt. I don’t want to see you get hurt as well.”

“You’re hurting as well.”

“I can take care of myself but not you or Jessica. Both of you are fragile and weak. You might appear confident and independent but you cried in your sleep every night.”

Tiffany was stunned to hear that.

“I heard you, unnie. And I would go over to you; pull you into my embrace and hug you tightly. Then you would stop whining and you actually sleep well after that.”

“You were in my room all the time?”

“I came in to check on Lincoln every night. There were times that he was awake but he didn’t cry. He would just sit in his cot; watching you sleep. I think your son somehow knew that you’re suffering in your own ways.  And I know why.”

Tiffany looked up slowly and Yoona was already pulling her into her embrace.

“His mommy was crying and he wouldn’t have the heart to wake you up.”

Tiffany cried as Yoona hugged her tightly.

*

Yuri slumped further into her chair. She couldn’t understand why her heart was breaking slowly despite she wanted to leave in the first place. And it was even worse when she realized Jessica was faking her condition. The imaginary knife in her heart was twisting so badly when Jessica cried so hard earlier on.

“We’re supposed to be in love but I wasn’t. I was a jerk like that but you loved me too much that you risked your life to save me. And thus, you got into an accident and then lost your memories of me because it was too much pain for you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Jessica, I know I’m a for doing this to you but since you cannot remember me, and I hope you will never recall our memories, I think it would be better if we just move on from each other. Let’s break up.”

“You’re still the same Yuri. You’re still as blunt as ever; as clueless as ever and as stupid as ever.”

Yuri looked up; confused with Jessica’s words.

“How could I ever forget you, Yuri?”

Yuri’s eyes grew larger. She sat up; straightened her back as she scrutinized Jessica’s face. There were tears in her eyes and Yuri was shocked.

“Jessica..!”

“What makes you think it’s easy for me to forget you?”

“But you..”

“I lied about my condition! I could easily still remember everything we used to have, Yuri. I lied about having amnesia because I wanted to see if I do really mean something in your heart. Or would you feel guilty about me and taking care of me? You did nothing. You just conveniently pushed me to Yoona so that you could get closer to Tiffany. You’re worse than a beast or a . I just cannot describe anything because you’re the worst human being that I’ve ever known!”

Yuri’s heart sank to the bottom. It was almost cruel and harsh the way Jessica said it but she had to accept it – Jessica had the right to say that anyway. Jessica was already crying and Yuri had the strongest urge to hug her. But she was rejected.

“Don’t hold me anymore. Don’t even try to wipe my tears away if you don’t mean it in the first place. You hate to see me cry. You hate to see me clinging on to you like as though you were just the only person on this Earth for me to love. I used to think it was but now I could clearly see where I actually stood in your heart. I was nowhere close and somehow I was just part of your life; part of your memories that could be easily thrown away.”

“No, that’s not true. I cherish all our memories together.”

“You’re such a hypocrite. You just wanted to leave me when you thought I was sick.”

“No, I didn’t want to hurt you further.”

“And this doesn’t hurt me at all?!”

Jessica screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone turned to look at them. Yuri was slightly embarrassed but Jessica wasn’t going to let this go either.

“Do you hate me so much, Kwon Yuri?”

“I never hate you, Jessica..”

“So why are you asking for a break now? Are you taking advantage of my amnesia?”

“Like I’ve said, I didn’t want to hurt you further. It’s killing me that I’m doing this. I wished I could just stab myself in the heart and die forever.”

“Then why don’t you?”

Yuri kept quiet. This wasn’t the same Jessica anymore. The old Jessica would have stopped and pulled her closer. She would hug her tightly and reprimand Yuri for the suicidal thought. But not now; not anymore – Jessica Jung was staring her down. Yuri felt a stab in her heart.

“Sometimes I wish I was dead instead.”

Yuri looked up.

“I wished I was dead from that accident and that you would feel guilty for the rest of your life!”

Yuri was completely taken aback. This was not her Jessica anymore.

“I hate you, Yuri. I really hate you so much for putting me through this. I guess I was really stupid for thinking that if I couldn’t remember you, you would try to win me back but you never did.”

Yuri’s shoulders were hanging down. Jessica was giving her a test which she failed miserably.

“I’ll never forgive you, Yuri. I’ll never give you my blessings if you and Tiffany get together some day. You’ll regret doing this to me, Kwon Yuri. I’ll never ever forgive you.”

Jessica left in a hurry; leaving Yuri eating her words out.

Yuri’s tears fell from the corner of her eyes. Jessica was spiteful. And Yuri knew she deserved it. But she never knew Jessica could be hurtful like that. Yuri blamed herself for Jessica’s drastic transformation.

I’m sorry, Jessica. I’m really sorry.

*

 

“Jessica, where are you going?”

Yoona was puzzled when Jessica returned with tears in her eyes. She just pulled out her bag and dumped all her clothes into the bag; ignoring Yoona all the way.

“Jessica, what are you doing?”

Yoona was taking out the clothes Jessica threw into her bag. She was holding on tightly to Jessica’s wrists. The older girl tried to yank her hands away but Yoona was too strong.

“Let me go!”

“Where are you going? What’s going on? What happened?”

“It’s none of your business, Yoona!”

Yoona was stunned when Jessica said that. She slowly let go of Jessica; the older girl bit her lower lip. She was feeling guilty.

“I’m sorry.”

Yoona apologised and slowly got up from her bed. She was about to leave the room when Jessica hugged her from the back; locking her tightly in her embrace.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

Jessica was crying. And Yoona’s heart was aching all over again. She turned herself around and hugged Jessica; wiping the tears that were falling from the corner of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Yoona.”

“What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”

Jessica hid her face from Yuri. She buried her face into Yoona’s chest.

“Jessica, tell me. What happened?”

Jessica wasn’t too sure if she should confess.

“Jessica, please? Let me know.”

“Yuri broke up with me.”

“What?!”

Yoona was stunned. What the hell is Kwon Yuri doing now?

*

Tiffany was playing with Lincoln on her bed when her phone rang. She frowned when she realized Yuri was calling. She rejected the call and turned the phone off instead. Yoona was right earlier on. She shouldn’t be doing this. She shouldn’t be doing this to Jessica.

Suddenly she heard her house phone rang. It took four ringing before she heard her mother calling out for her name.

“Tiffany, there’s a phone call for you!”

“Who is it, Mom?”

“I don’t know. But it sounds like Yuri.”

“Can you tell her I’m sleeping?”

“I think you have to pick up this call. She seems drunk.”

“What?”

Tiffany didn’t have much choice so she picked up the phone from her room and she could hear her mom hanging up on the other line. She rolled her eyes; not knowing what she should say but she said hello nevertheless.

“Are you avoiding me now?”

Those were Yuri’s first words to her.

“Look, it’s getting late. Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“Tiffany, I screwed myself up because of you.”

“You screwed my world too when you slept with me.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t willing to give you anything but you just took advantage of my vulnerability.”

“Are you trying to say that you didn’t like the ?”

Yuri was raising her voice a little and Tiffany was biting her lower lip.

“It was a mistake, Yuri.”

“I love you, Tiffany! Why can’t you just invest a little more time on me?”

“How am I supposed to do that? It’s just so complicated with Jessica having amnesia and stuff. Are you even human, Yuri? Your girlfriend’s sick!”

Yuri was scoffing off on the other line.  And Tiffany was slowly getting agitated.

“I screwed myself up with Jessica.”

“What?”

“I wanted to settle our problem.”

Tiffany was appalled.

“Oh my god! What did you say to her?!”

“You told me to settle things with her.”

“And you just went blindly to do it?!”

“I thought I was getting a chance with you.”

“She’s sick, for god sake!”

“She’s not sick, Tiffany!”

“What?”

“She was faking it. She wanted to see if she means something to her. She wanted to know if I would try to win her heart back even though she didn’t recognize me. I failed terribly, Tiffany.”

“You mean she lied about it?”

“Yes.. and she’s not going to forgive me, Tiffany.”

“What?”

“She’s never ever going to forgive me anymore.”

Tiffany was startled to hear Yuri crying on the phone. Her heart wavered. Tiffany was stunned when her heart was trying to reach out to the crying lady on the phone.

“Where are you, Yuri?”

“I’m at home.”

“I’ll come over now.”

Tiffany stared at the phone after she hung up. If Yuri doesn’t mean anything to her then why was she feeling anxious to hear Yuri crying.

Tiffany Hwang, what the hell are you doing now?

Tiffany buried her face in her palms.

*

Yoona couldn’t believe her ears when Jessica confessed that she was lying all this while. She was faking her amnesia. She was doing it so that she could test Yuri and the lady failed miserably.

“What..? You’re faking your amnesia?”

“Yes, Yoona. I’m sorry.”

“So you’re using me, Jessica?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“But it seems like it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“Can I just ask you something, Jessica?”

Jessica looked up; she was already pulling herself away from Yoona’s arms. She couldn’t take advantage of her anymore; not like this.

“What is it, Yoona?”

“Will you ever, in your heart, have a tiny spot for me?”

“Yoona..”

“No, just answer my question. I want to know. I need to know.”

“I don’t...know.”

“You’re not willing to give me a chance to love you?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It has been complicated all this while. Why are you clinging on to Yuri when you know she doesn’t have any feelings for you?”

“Yoona, my heart just wants Yuri.”

“But Yuri doesn’t want you! She wants Tiffany!”

“I know that.”

“Then why are you still like this?!”

“Love cannot be forced, Yoona!”

“But you’re forcing your love on Yuri!”

“Look, I think I should leave. We have too much hurt in between. I’m sorry for hurting you like this.”

“I’ve invested all my time and love on you. Why can’t you open your eyes and see that I can make you happier than Yuri?”

Jessica cupped Yoona’s cheeks gently and kissed her forehead gently. She couldn’t love Yoona the way that younger lady wanted her to.

“I’m really grateful to have you by my side. But I cannot hurt you.”

“Jessica..”

“I’m not willing to hurt you the way Yuri did. It’s not right.”

“But..I really love you.”

“I know.. But it’s better that you save up all your love for someone who deserves it more than I do.”

That’s all Jessica could tell her before leaving Yoona broken for the umpteen times.

Yoona stared blankly into space. Jessica has left; taking Yoona’s heart with her. The pain was just too much for Yoona that she broke down and cried.

Jessica Jung, I don’t think I can ever get over you.

Yoona’s heart kept breaking apart; into million tiny pieces.

*

Yuri was crying on Tiffany’s lap. She was crying her heart out. Tiffany could only sigh. Yuri told her everything.  The latter felt responsible for Yuri’s tears. She couldn’t push the poor lady away. It took Tiffany 2 hours to calm Yuri down. She finally fell asleep on her lap; Tiffany could only remain like that. Suddenly Yuri’s phone beeped. Tiffany glanced to her side.

There were 2 new messages – one from Jessica and another from Yoona. Tiffany wondered if she should read but there were previews for both messages.  Tiffany was curious. She pressed “READ”.

“Take good care of yourself and don’t find me. I’m not coming back anymore. – Jessica”

“Give me back my happiness. You stole it without even trying. I cannot hate you because of my sister. I cannot like you because of Jessica. I’m completely confused with what I should do now. It’ll be good if I could leave forever. Goodbye. – Yoona”

Tiffany was alarmed with Yoona’s message. Did Jessica leave her too? She called for her sister using her phone. Her sister was crying.

“Yoona?”

“She left, Unnie. She left me.”

“Where are you, Yoona?”

“I’m on the bridge.”

Tiffany’s eyes grew larger.

“What bridge?!”

Yuri was awakened by Tiffany’s loud voice. Tiffany pushed her away.

“I don’t want to live anymore, unnie. She couldn’t love me back.”

“Yoona! Don’t do anything stupid. Where are you?!”

“Goodbye unnie. Please tell Jessica I’m sorry. I couldn’t love anyone else but her.”

“NO! YOONA!”

Yoona hung up immediately and Tiffany was stunned.

“What happened, Tiffany?”

“Yoona...Yoona is trying to kill herself!”

Yuri was completely stunned.

*

Jessica was on the way to the airport when she saw her phone blinking. Yuri was calling. Tears immediately filled her eyes. She contemplated whether she should answer but before she could make up her mind, Yuri hung up.  Jessica rolled her eyes.

“You just couldn’t have the patience anymore huh, Yuri?”

Jessica mumbled to herself but she saw a message coming in and it was from Yuri. Her eyes grew larger.

SICA! YOONA IS TRYING TO KILL HERSELF! I’M GOING TO LOOK FOR HER WITH TIFFANY! - YURI

“No! Yoona! NO!!!!!!!!!!!”

Jessica was terrified. The thought of not seeing Yoona ever again scared her.

“YOONA!”

Jessica’s scream scared the out of the taxi driver. It was just chaos in the taxi but Jessica managed to turn around. She was rushing towards Yuri’s house. She wanted to look for Yoona too.

“Yuri, wait for me! I’m coming with you!”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

“Meet me at the bus stop. I’m reaching there.”

“Okay!”

Suddenly, everybody was concerned about Yoona.

*

Yoona was sitting at the edge of the bridge. She was crying her heart out. She was hurting for far too long and among the four of them, Yoona’s pain was the worst.

Losing Jessica was just a little too much for her. She didn’t mind being the second fiddle like how Jessica was to Yuri. But Jessica was right. She didn’t deserve to get hurt the way Yuri hurt Jessica. But she just couldn’t get over Jessica.

“Why won’t you let me in? Maybe we can be happier together, Jessica.”

Yoona was mumbling to herself. She continued to sit there with her knees close to her chest. She finally calmed down after so long. Her eyes were completely swollen.

“Geez, Im Yoona. You’re such a cry baby.”

She slowly stood up as she held onto the railing tightly. There was a stream just below the bridge; some kids were playing at the bank.  Yoona stood up and stared down below. The children were playing happily.

“You kids are so lucky. You can play all day while I could only cry. Bleah.”

She mumbled to herself. Then suddenly, she heard someone screamed.

“IM YOONAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

Yoona was startled by the sound of it.

“What the heck.”

She was flabbergasted to see three ladies running towards her.

*