Warning: It's really crack, guys.

Daehyun sits in the van, staring at his open palms. Junhong studies his third hyung closely as he seeks the mystery behind the open palms. What is so cool about his hands?

Daehyun’s hands twitches and a shudder runs down his spine when he recalls that fateful evening…

where he first laid hands on a woman’s—

.

Snapping his head back to see Youngjae chatting happily with Himchan, Daehyun quickly turns back and bunches himself up into the corner of his seat, cowering in his little corner as his mind clambers through the lovely memory which his hands remembers so well while being so terrorised by the fact that he misses the feeling so much. Oh god, what is wrong with you, Jung Daehyun!

“What is wrong with Daehyun hyung?”

Daehyun really can’t. He can’t.

He can’t stop being a ert.

Is he the only one?

There’re other members too, and they’re all guys, why aren’t they as uneasy as he is?

Come on, Daehyun spreads his arms out, mouth agape in a silent mime, Youngjae is a woman! A freaking woman with real nice… No don’t go there… Heck, he swears, minus the two ignorant maknaes, Yongguk hyung and Himchan hyung must have thought funny things like I did!

“Himchan hyung!”

“Yes?”

“What do you think of Youngjae?”

“What?”

“Do you think he is pretty?”

“Yes of course.”

“Oh so hyung thinks weird things too right?”

“What? Wait a minute… JUNG DAEHYUN YOU BASTARD—“

“AHHH!!”

“YOU LITTLE ERT, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT OUR YOUNGJAE HUH—“

“Yongguk hyung.”

“Hmm?”

“Youngjae…”

“Hm?”

“… Never mind.”

“…"

Daehyun spends his days trying to figure out if his thoughts manifests upon his natural male hormones or just simply his innate ert. But apparently, based on his results,

it’s the innate ert.

But then, he thinks he’s not the only one.

Recently, Youngjae has taken liking to hugging him. Or just,

deliberately pressing his (her) s up to him.

Always just coming up with zero signs and then Daehyun’s yelping from the strange sensation up his back as Youngjae squeezes him until his air supply is cut off. Then that little er runs off as he almost falls over with his tumbling sanity.

that about me being a ert, Daehyun scoffs. Who’s the real ert?

“NO! GO AWAY YOUNGJAE. I COULD TOTALLY SEE WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO.”

“What?” Youngjae grins deviously, the girlish face coming close to induce a blush on Daehyun’s cheeks. “Are you shy?”

“ off…” Daehyun says as he tugs off his shirt and throws it over his bunk bed. “You’re being weird.”

“Just doing you some service. Since you never get laid.”

“ you, really. I wouldn’t sleep with a fake woman like you.”

Youngjae laughs out loud, bending over from the ache as he follows Daehyun to the bathroom door.

“God, Youngjae. Go away, I’m taking a shower.”

“I have everything you have.”

Daehyun turns around from hanging his clothes. “Really?” He eyes Youngjae with a cocked eyebrow who then just laughs at his unamused expression.

“I miss having a .”

“Ok noted. Get out.”

“Can I watch?”

“WHAT THE— GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

“I miss my boy parts! Let me see yours!”

“I swear, you’re so weird!”

“Come on… It doesn’t matter anyway. We used to shower together.”

“That was when you were a boy. A BOY.”

“I’m still a boy.”

“No, you have s,” — and it’s a great rack— “so get out before Himchan hyung comes in and slit my throat.”

“Aye… Daehyun…”

“Go on.” Daehyun grabs Youngjae, carefully because he’s a girl now, and spins him (her) around, guiding him out.

That is until Youngjae suddenly tugs off his shirt and yes he’s wearing an inner wear which makes Daehyun really nervous and threatens Daehyun to let him stay inside. “I’ll tell Himchan hyung you took off my shirt!”

“WHAT?!!”

“HIM—“

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHAT DO YOU WANT!”

“Let me stay here and watch please?”

“.. you’re ing…”

“Okay…” He’s never showered with someone staring at him so intently before. It’s weird as . Daehyun clears his throat as he starts to take off his pants…

“I can’t do this.”

“What?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Hurry up and strip already.”

“This is wrong.”

“No it isn’t. You’ll get used to it. Hurry up, I don’t have all the time in the world.”

“Well then you, you can get out if you’re so busy.”

“Nope.”

“Urgh… FINE. I’ll do it… … I hate you…”

Youngjae sits on the toilet cover, big eyes staring as Daehyun gulps and strips himself in lightning speed before cowering to the corner of the bathroom with his back facing Youngjae while beginning to soap himself so quick maknae would have been grateful. Heck, everyone would shower faster if there’s some freak staring at you. 

Youngjae is silent, real silent and Daehyun starts to get even more uncomfortable with his all exposed. He can’t be mocking my could he? Daehyun furrows his brows and scrubs himself harder. God damn it, can’t even shower properly with this little right here. 

“Ahem. Are you having fun, Youngjae?”

“Not really.”

Daehyun wants to bang his head onto the tiled wall.

“Then why the heck do you have to put me through this?! God damn!!”

“Relax, I’m still a guy inside. Why are you feeling so uncomfortable?”

“I WOULD STILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE IF YOU SAT HERE STARING AT MY WHEN YOU’RE STILL A GUY FYI.”

There’s another silence as Daehyun finishes rinsing himself but he realises how being pissed makes him less uncomfortable. 

He wraps a towel around himself and glares at Youngjae who’s sitting on the toilet seat cover with her chin on her palms, looking extremely bored.

“Freakin’… you could’ve at least not look so bored looking at my , sheesh, my pride.”

“I’m not a real girl, so what’s the matter?”

“… Well I guess you’re right.”

“Y’know. Actually, I came in to confirm something.”

“How I actually have a bigger than you?”

“ you, don’t insult something I’ve lost… It’s actually rather hurtful you .”

“… sorry.”

“Actually, I think I am ually attracted to male parts now.”

“… What?”

Upon hearing this, Daehyun’s hands jerk his boxers up almost immediately as his widened eyes found Youngjae’s trailing somewhere near his crotch and god damn does it make him feel like disappearing.

“It’s real. I think it has something to do with my female anatomy. I have reactions for male bodies.”

“… When did—“ Daehyun grabs his clothes and shifts to one corner of the bathroom hoping Youngjae would see less of him. “When did you realise?”

“I saw Yongguk hyung half that day and I thought I felt excited.”

my life… Daehyun knocks his head onto the tiled wall. “Why do you have to tell me?” He whimpers as he shakes his head.

“I just thought we were the closest. So.”

“Jesus, Youngjae… I can’t help you… “

“Daehyun,, what if I become gay?”

“Pfft… Think about that when you get back your .”

“You’re right.”

That night Daehyun can’t sleep much because girl Youngjae who likes male bodies is lying right next to him. But that doesn’t mean he won’t get pissed when Youngjae’s pulling stunts again.

“Stop poking me!” He hisses at Youngjae in the dark, Himchan snoring in the background.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Get your own medicine. I’m sleeping.” Daehyun punches his pillows and moves closer to the edge of the bed, curling on his side trying to block out Youngjae’s presence. And that girly smell.

“Daehyun…” 

He just wish Youngjae would stop using his girl voice and girl body to harass him. He just wants to sleep…

“What…”

“Can I hug you?”

“ you.”

Youngjae hugs him anyway.

“ you… I hate you… I hate you so much…”

“I won’t get pissed if you wake up with a thinking about me.”

“I hate you.”

“I know you would.”

“You’re ed up.”

“You too.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I still hate you.”