Taeyeon bit her lips, her forehead frowning and her legs folded on the coffee table. She stared at the figure sleeping soundly on her couch, and sighed. 

After the drunken and idiotic confession happened, Tiffany actually went upstairs to meet her. She stood at the door for a few minutes before she dropped down, collapse into a deep sleep. Taeyeon panicked, and pulled (drag) her ex-girlfriend into her flat. She put Tiffany on her couch for a minute to go to the kitchen and came back to see her sleeping peacefully. She didn't have the heart to wake her up. She just couldn't ruin her sleep.

And for that, she ruined her own sleep.

- - -

A clear memory from the past flashed painfully in Taeyeon's head. She sighed, her fingers nimbly massaging her thumping forehead. She remembered all the things they've done in the past, and things they haven't done yet, and probably they never will.

She opened her eyes, slowly scanning the image of the sleeping figure before her. She stared at Tiffany's face, her lips, her eyes, her nose, her skin, her eyelashes-

and it hurt.

It hurt her.

It hurt her too much.

Taeyeon was just a girl, one that seeks for attention and affection, and yearns for love. She has for a long time. And to actually realize Tiffany couldn't and can't give that, hurt.

To realize that she could go all the way for Tiffany and received nothing at the end, hurt.

It still hurts.

- - -

Tiffany stared at the face before her, and watched closely how it responded under her touch. She let her fingers trail along the smooth skin, feeling the tenses and she smiled. The fingers moved gracefully to her lips, her eyes, her nose, her skin, her eyelashes-

and it hurt.

She remembered that it hurt.

Looking at her hurt.

Tiffany knew, the things Taeyeon has done for her. But she couldn't possibly do it back, it's not her to do that. It's not in her willing to do that. She couldn't do that. Past experiences have scarred her for life. She didn't want to hurt anyone. But she's stucked here, in this painful labyrinth of not wanting to let Taeyeon go. 

Taeyeon's forehead crinkled up, and she shook her head, her conciousness sipping in slowly. Tiffany's arms immediately went around her waist, and her voice hushed up, "go to sleep, it's still early." Her fingers her arms, soothing her, pulling Taeyeon back to deep slumber. 

"fany.."

Tiffany hummed in reply.

"i love you..." her voice trailed and ended as Taeyeon fell asleep.

"goodnight." She kissed her forehead, smiling in pain. "sleep, Taeyeon. Tomorrow it may not be the same. Sleep, love, sleep." She whispered in her ears.

And indeed, it was never the same after that.

- - -

Tiffany woke up from her light sleep, and noticed that her girl was still deeply in sleep. She smiled and ran her fingers through her hair. Somehow, Taeyeon reminded her of her mother. Her milky skin, her pouty mouth, her bright eyes, her golden hair. It made her feel like she's sleeping with her own mother.

Tiffany chuckled at her silly self.

A faint thought of her father crossed her mind. Her fingers stopped almost abruptly, and she pulled back her hand. She shifted in her bed, staring at the ceiling now. She bit her lips- feeling bitter. She remembered how it was always her mother. It has always been her. And how all of that changed in a matter of a second.

Tiffany thought of her childhood, the grean leaves, the soft grass, the blue sky--- and she smiled. They were beautiful, those things were. The clarity of things that happened back then, was much higher now. And she was thankful that she didn't realize so much things back then. She would miss out on so much. And she would never want to miss out on beautiful things.

She glanced at the sleeping figure, 'like you.'

- - -

Tiffany blinked, twice before she could feel her consciousness slowly making way to her mind. Her eyes squinted, trying hard to avoid the brightness hiding behind the neon curtains. After awhile, she opened her eyes, slowly and scanned her surrounding. Damn, I ended up in here again, Tiffany sighed.

After making sure that she was okay, Tiffany stood up and walked around the humble living room. So homey, she thought. Wonder why she never felt like this, before.  Tiffany grinned to herself when she spot a pair of pink socks in a basket, the colour was too bright to not be noticed. Taeyeon isn't the kind to wear bright colours. 

She took steps, and almost laughed when she opened a dusty box. Her university brochure that she left here, was kept neatly under bunch of things that were also hers, too. She blew the dust away, and smiled, looking at the failure of an origami she tried to do. You kept all the things I threw away, Taeyeon-ah. 

A buzz of her phone woke her up from her daydream. "Hello, Daddy?"

"No, I'm not going to your wedding." A pause. "Dad, this is your fifth wedding of the year, I'm not going to embarass myself. Daddy, please. Do not invite my mother!," Another pause. "Dad, be thankful that I still call you this. I won't be at the wedding and that's final, okay. Say hi to that young cheap wife of yours. May this be your last, bye."

- - -

"He called me last night."

"Who?"

"Daddy."

"Ah, is he marrying again? Has the divorce been finalized?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"Good, don't mind about him. He's probably insensitive to how you feel."

"Yeah Soo, he's too consumed with his own life to spare a minute about mine. , this is the fifth wedding! And people wonder why do I despise being in love."

The girl chuckled. "Come on, Fany-ah.."

"Love blinds you, you know."

"And so do other things..ignorance, hatred, etcetera."

She scoffed.

"Love blinds you, true that. But at least you'll get blinded by the right person."

"You're spitting nonsensical things, now, Soo."

"Oh, you'll get it....soon."

- - - to be continued...