Jongwoon doesn’t understand what Joohyun meant when she said to him, "Tell him. If it's you, I'm sure he'll understand” until it happens.

He plans to tell Kyuhyun everything the following day but he doesn’t want to stay overnight. He needs to go home and talk to his parents. So even though Sungmin offers and asks him to stay the night with Kyuhyun, regardless whether it’s Sungmin’s room or not, Jongwoon tells him that he’ll talk to Kyuhyun as early as he can tomorrow.

“I need to go home,” Jongwoon adds, looking earnestly at Sungmin, and for the first time in forever, he meant it when he said that he needed to go home. Not because his parents will be suspicious that he is doing something without their knowledge or consent, or not because he needs to be home to be his older sister again. That night, Jongwoon needs to be home because he needs it.

And it feels surreal.

Because no one knows how much Jongwoon wants to take over his own life more than him.

“Are you sure?” Sungmin asks, and if his actions don’t surprise Jongwoon enough for the night, Jongwoon still looks amusedly at Sungmin with a confused expression. Sungmin notices it. “What?”

“You’re Kyuhyun’s best friend,” Jongwoon starts. “You were there even before he met me or noona. You were there when he was with noona. You are here when he is with me as well, as strangely as that sounds. How come you’re not mad? How come you’re not confronting me for lying to Kyuhyun? He is your best friend.”

Sungmin listens to Jongwoon with an unclear expression. It’s not exactly inexpressive, but it’s more like it’s unreadable to Jongwoon and he can’t figure out what Sungmin is thinking.

Finally, after several beats, Sungmin says while tying his shoelaces, getting ready to leave. “He is my best friend. But I don’t control his life. I can’t be mad when he isn’t even mad.”

“Yet,” Jongwoon adds, sounding more sarcastic to himself than to Sungmin.

Sungmin turns to stare at Jongwoon. “Right,” he agrees. “Yet.”

Sungmin and Jongwoon never knew each other, if not for their same classes. They never really talk with each other until that night. But for some reason, their connection with Kyuhyun brings them closer, enabling them to talk about things like this, things that matter. Kyuhyun.

“Besides, you didn’t lie,” Sungmin adds, making Jongwoon turn and face him again. They’re already leaving Kyuhyun’s room, after making sure that Kyuhyun isn’t talking about flying alligators or beautiful mermaids anymore.

Jongwoon looks at Sungmin, not knowing what to say. What does Sungmin mean he didn’t lie?

“You only told him yourself in a different name,” Sungmin says, “but that’s still you, isn’t it? You are Jongwoon and you are Yesung. You are both Jongwoon and Yesung.”

“Will Kyuhyun take it like that, too?”

“That’s what we’ll find out.”

“What if he didn’t?”

Sungmin shoots him back another question Jongwoon isn’t prepared for. “What will you do if he didn’t?”

Jongwoon sighs, looking up. He read somewhere, when he has nothing to do in his life besides be the person his parents want him to be, that if things get too confusing to handle, look up. He wasn’t sure what that really means, but since then, every time things get too confusing for him to handle, he looks up, instinctively.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess,” Sungmin says with so much certainty that Jongwoon doesn’t think he is really guessing.

Jongwoon nods as Sungmin turns around and is about to go the other way. He stares at Sungmin’s walking figure and wonders if Sungmin is right. Didn’t he really lie to Kyuhyun? Didn’t he really lie about his identity, about who he is to Kyuhyun? He sighs.

Of course I did, he whispers to himself in resignation.

That’s the truth. That’s the reality. Jongwoon knows it. He wants to accept it, so he’ll understand whatever Kyuhyun’s response will be, once he learns everything, once Jongwoon tells him everything.

“Sungmin,” Jongwoon calls gently, his voice surrounding the hallways of the university dormitory.

Sungmin turns around, albeit surprised. He waits.

“I lied,” Jongwoon says, with a weak smile, more in sarcasm to himself again than anybody else and the irony of it all than anything. “Truth is, I’d do it again.”

They go home in their separate ways as Jongwoon thinks of his answer to Sungmin’s question. He knows he is both Jongwoon and Yesung, even though Kyuhyun knows him as Jongwoon and as Yesung. But will Kyuhyun also take it like that? It’s not fair, Jongwoon knows, for Kyuhyun. He also knows that despite what Sungmin thinks and told him, he is accountable for what Kyuhyun is thinking, of Jongwoon and of Yesung.

So Jongwoon doesn’t know the answer to Sungmin’s question.

He knows what he’s done and no matter what his reasons are, it doesn’t change the fact that Kyuhyun is left out of the limelight, and he doesn’t know.

So Jongwoon doesn’t really know.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Kyuhyun will not take it like how Sungmin did.

If Kyuhyun turned his back on him.

If Kyuhyun decided to forget him.

If Kyuhyun would want to walk out of Jongwoon’s life.

There is a raucous in the university the next day. Early in the morning, there are parades going on every side of the university and Kyuhyun’s head is slightly pounding. He doesn’t remember drinking the night before. As a matter of fact, the only thing he remembers is feeling arms around him, a wet cloth on his nose and blackness.

Blackness never felt good on Kyuhyun. Not that horror, thriller sort of blackness, but that blackness of knowing there’s something going on, but you’re left out of it. You don’t know what’s going on, just the fact that there’s something going on around you that you don’t have the faintest idea what is about. That blackness.

But he finds himself on his room in the dormitory.

What the hell is going on?

That’s also Kyuhyun’s question as he begins waking up, slowly opening his eyes in an empty dim-lighted room. His first instinct is where he is. But the moment he tries standing up to look around, to search for the way home wherever the hell he is, he feels ropes tightening on his arms and feet. He is tied on a metallic chair.

“What the…” Kyuhyun curses. His head slightly hurts and knowing that he’s captive somewhere isn’t helping at all.

Suddenly, he hears rustles from somewhere in the room and he frantically shouts. “Who’s there?!”

Two figures. They’re not even wearing anything to cover their faces, for heaven’s sake! One is an old woman, who doesn’t seem to be too old, but old enough for Kyuhyun to call an ahjumma. She is wearing a summer dress, bright yellow with ruffles on the hem. The other one is an ahjussi, who, unlike the woman, looks older than he probably is. But he is wearing a very formal attire, dark suit with grey pants.

Despite the circumstance he’s in, the first thought that crosses Kyuhyun’s mind after seeing these people is, ‘… They look like Jongwoon-hyung.’

Of course they do.

“So,” the woman slowly speaks, walking towards Kyuhyun to see his face clearer, now that he’s looking up with eyes open. “You’re that boy.”

Kyuhyun is about to say something, to ask what the hell is she talking about and to ask why the is he tied on a chair. If he’s someone she knows, and she finally found him, isn’t it just right to talk to him about whatever the hell this is about like ing normal persons? Kyuhyun’s mind is already racing.

But the woman beats him to it. “You’re that boy… That boy who killed my baby! That boy who took my baby away! That boy who killed my baby! That boy who took my baby away!”

What the , that’s the only thing that’s running Kyuhyun’s mind as he stares at the crazy woman in front of him, now being held by the man with her. He holds her tightly, especially her arms, because she might not be able to stop herself from hurting Kyuhyun or herself.

“What are you saying?” Kyuhyun finally manages to mutter. “What are you talking about?”

Then, with a faint voice, Kyuhyun dares to ask. “Who are you?”

Kyuhyun meets the man’s eyes, and there’s that brief moment that he knows, the man knows that he’s truly asking it, who they are, because he really doesn’t know! But the woman’s hysterical laugh quickly disturbs that and she yells at Kyuhyun things he can’t understand, can’t even decipher where it’s coming from.

“YOU CRAZY BASTARD! Who are we?!” the woman angrily asks. “We’re the parents of the girl you killed! You… You are the reason why our Hyesung died! You are the reason why Hyesung died! You killed Hyesung!”

It’s almost pitiful, the way the woman falls down on her knees weakly, as if she can’t think about it anything, as if she can’t talk further about it, whoever that girl Hyesung she is talking about, if Kyuhyun only understands. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know who Hyesung is. He doesn’t know why she’s saying that he is the reason why she died. He doesn’t know why she’s telling him that he killed her. He doesn’t understand why is she so mad.

“I…” Kyuhyun starts, and his head hurts. He wants to understand, wants to know the reason why is he sitting on that metallic chair. Does he deserve to be in that kind of situation? Is he the reason why that girl died? Did he really kill him? But why can’t he understand anything?

Why can’t he remember anything?

“Who is Hyesung?” Kyuhyun doesn’t realize he said it out loud.

“WHO IS HYESUNG?!”

Suddenly, the woman paces in front of Kyuhyun angrily, in so much spite that Kyuhyun wants to escape, wants to run, because he’s scared. He hasn’t seen so much anger in his life and it scares him that this actually scares him. There’s something and Kyuhyun doesn’t understand it.

“SHE IS MY DAUGHTER! SHE IS THE GIRL YOU KILLLEEED!”

She screams so loudly that Kyuhyun looks away.

“I’m going to kill you! I’m going to kill you!” the woman yells at Kyuhyun, pointing her fingers at Kyuhyun with so much viciousness, walking farther away from Kyuhyun every word, because it’s like if she can reach Kyuhyun, she’ll end him instantly. She wants Kyuhyun to suffer. She wants to torment Kyuhyun. She doesn’t want to kill Kyuhyun instantly, not already. For her, he needs to suffer, and Kyuhyun sees that in her eyes and hears that in every word she shouts.

Kyuhyun is near in tears. It’s stupid, he knows. But he’s so afraid, so very afraid, that he doesn’t know what to do anymore but cry. He wants to call for help, but how can he? He can’t even breathe properly anymore.

Who are they? Who is Hyesung? What are they talking about? Why is she so mad? Did I really do it? Did I really kill someone? Was I really the reason why someone was dead?

Kyuhyun’s mind is going blank, drifting into someplace else other than this. He can’t handle this. He doesn’t know what’s going on and he doesn’t understand anything. He is getting dizzy and the dim-lighter room turns darker and darker as the tick of his wrist watch match the beat of his pulse. The moon is barely penetrating inside the room and he wonders how long it will take for his parents and the police to find his dead body. He ponders how many will cry on his funeral and who are going to miss him.

He thinks of Yesung…

He thinks of Jongwoon…

Then, the man’s phone rings before Kyuhyun completely faints.

A/N:

It’s coming. XD

D-4.