Must I answer Dae Hyun? Must I tell him that there were pain in my stomach that made me couldn’t digest hard food and had to end up throwing it all up? No. Of course not.

“Why were you throwing up, Moon Jeong Ae?” he repeated the question when I did not answer him.

I took a deep breath and met his eyes. “That was none of your business,” I didn’t want him to worry. Worried Dae Hyun was not a fun sight to see. He would tire himself over nothing.

I walked past him but he held my arm and pulled me back. He looked at me incredulously, “Are you bulimic, Jeong Ae-yah?”

I snapped out at that question.

“Would people STOP saying that?!” I exclaimed while releasing my arm from his grip. “I am not bulimic. Stop saying that.” I raked my hair and leaned on a wall.

“Then tell me, what happened?” Dae Hyun’s voice softened.

I looked back to him. He looked defenseless. It was not curiosity that made him asked. He was just simply care. Why would he care all of a sudden?

“Why would you care what happened?” I heard my voice came out colder than I intended.

He went stiff. He looked down, avoiding my eyes. “I’m your friend, remember?”

I didn’t answer the question right away. Two years. Two freaking years he avoided me. And because of some throwing up he came and acknowledged me as his friend?

“What am I to you, Jung Dae Hyun?” I asked with croaked voice. I felt weary all of a sudden.

He lifted his head, and a frown formed between his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“What am I to you? Am I just some freaking toy you can just abandon for two years and suddenly pick up again when I started to get broken?! I have feelings too, you know?” I felt tears welling up and threatened to fall down.

He looked taken aback by sudden burst. “Jeong Ae-yah.”

“What have I done to you that you hated me that much, Jung Dae Hyun? Tell me where I was wrong so I can fix it! You were my best friend! How would you feel if I suddenly abandon you?” Tears fell down to my cheeks.

“Why would you say that? I don’t hate you. I…,” his hand formed a fist as he was holding himself to say whatever that was.

He didn’t hate me he said. And somehow I felt relieved. “You’re what then? Tell me,” I whispered.

“I can’t. Not now,” he turned his back to me.

I closed my eyes and wiped the tears from my face. I sniffed before I straightened myself. “Okay.” I nodded and walked past him out the restroom.

“Jeong Ae-yah….”

“Don’t call on me unless you want to tell me what happened,” I said without looking back to him and left him in there alone.

***

It was my turn now.

I ignored all attempts Dae Hyun used to talk to me. I could feel his eyes on me during class. He waited for me after class break. He waited for me outside the gym for PE class. But I just walked past him without looking at his direction at all.

Was this how he felt when I was staring at him and waiting for him to finish his classes but he still ignored me. Well, it was not fun and how could he stand this? This was frustrating. And he had been doing it for TWO YEARS! God, now I can feel the hate.

“What’s wrong with you and Dae Hyun?” Hyo Na asked after a gym class where they guys played basket ball and the girls were watching. I don’t get this type of class. They should have asked us to do something else instead of watching mindless boys chasing the silly ball. Pardon my emotion. It was still a little unstable.

“What’s wrong with me and Dae Hyun was that now it’s my turn to ignore him, though I don’t plan to do it for two freaking years,” I hissed as I put on my shoes after changing my PE clothes into our uniform.

“Whoa, you’re scary when you’re mad. Remind him not to make you mad,” Hyo Na took a step back away.

I took a deep breath. “I will, don’t worry.” I gave her a small smile and we went out the restroom where we changed clothes.

The class was empty except for the girls. The boys had probably gone home already since PE was our last class. I took my backpack and went out the school. Hyo Na went to go home with her friends so I took my steps alone.

I stopped on the gate when I saw Dae Hyun was leaning on one of the wall. He saw me stopped and he straightened himself. He put a small smile on his face when he saw me staring.

“Hey,” he smiled. “Do you want to go home together?”

I stared at him for some more moment then I shook my head. “I can’t. I have somewhere to go before going home.” I promised Jong Up that I would go to hospital.

“Then I’ll take you there,” he offered as I walked past him.

“No, Dae Hyun. Just go home,” He opened his mouth to talk, but he closed it again. “I will talk to you later.” I told him before I went to the other direction in hope could still catch the bus.

“Okay,” I heard him answered. “I’ll wait for you.”

I turned and gave him a smile. And he finally smiled back.

***

I had waited for almost an hour since the doctor told me he would do some check to the laboratory. The check up was not very nice. I had some stuff tube like camera shoved into my throat to check on my stomach and it really was awful. I gagged and couldn’t breathe for a few moments until they pulled out that scary stuff.

The doctor’s kind face turned grim after he did the check up. I asked him what was wrong but then he told me he had to go to the laboratory to make sure what’s wrong. He finally came back after the long hour.

“Moon Jeong Ae-ssi, uh…,” the doctor fixed his glasses. I felt nervous at the movement. “We will need you to come back with your parents for the next check up.”

I stiffened. “Why? Can’t I be the only one who knows?” I asked nervously.

He eyed me for a second. “This is big, Jeong Ae-ssi. You wouldn’t be able to handle this alone,” my heart stopped for a moment. I felt something bad coming.

“I can handle it alone, doctor. Trust me. I don’t want to worry my parents. Just please tell me what is it. Am I really bulimic?” I griped the edge of my skirt.

The doctor sighed in defeat. “Moon Jeong Ae-ssi…,” he looked at me with concern. “I’m afraid you have a stomach cancer.”

My world just turned black.

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