-YOU-

A couple of weeks had passed since that night Seung Hyun found out about Haru.  With Seung Ri’s urging, you had left him a voice message, pouring your heart out, hoping it tugged at his heart-strings. But, you hadn’t heard from him since.  You had decided to give him his space, some time to think.

Seung Ri had been a pillar of strength and a great support system for you and Haru. He’d come over most nights, and offered to help Haru with her homework, or just played with her.  He’d sometimes offer to pick up Haru from Sean’s place, and watch her ‘til you got home from work. He’d cook for you and Haru or bring takeaway on the nights you’d been too exhausted to cook.

One night, after you had tucked in Haru for bed, you found Seung Ri on your couch, pouring some raspberry wine on a couple of glasses. He looked up and offered one of the glasses to you, which you took as you sat down on the couch next to him. Seung Ri had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire evening, and you couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything wrong. Not being able to stand the uncomfortable silence anymore you looked at Seung Ri and asked, “Is there something wrong, Seung Ri-yah?"

Seung Ri looked at you, clearly contemplating on something. He set his glass down on the table, and caught you completely by surprise when he grabbed your free hand and enclosed it with both hands. You stared down at both your hands when he finally spoke up. “Noona, spending these past couple of weeks with you and Haru had been one of the best experiences of my life. I know you’re still hoping TOP hyung would come to his senses and decide to live happily ever-after with you and Haru. But, if it’s OK with you, I would like to be a part of Haru’s life. Of YOUR life, noona.”

Your jaw dropped. You clearly had not expected that at all. Seung Ri. Sweet Seung Ri. He couldn’t be falling for you. No. It wouldn’t be fair to him. You’re in love with Seung Hyun. And Seung Hyun is Haru’s father.  Accepting the maknae’s offer of devotion to you and Haru would have been convenient, but it would not be fair to him. You slowly pulled your hand away from his grasp. The look of sadness and dejection appeared on the maknae’s face immediately. You had to do something. You HAD to say something.

“Seung Ri,  I love you. You know that I love you. You’re my dongsaeng. The little brother I never had. I’ve always been so fond and protective of you ever since you joined YG and Bigbang. I appreciate your offer and I love how much you dote on Haru. But, Ri, it would not be fair to you if I accept your offer, knowing that I am in love with Seung Hyun, have always been. And I have not given up hope on the three of us being a family some day. You’re so sweet to do this. But, you know, deep down, it isn’t the best way. I hope you understand.” Now, it was your turn to enclose his hands in yours. With tears in your eyes, you pressed them against your cheek and giving them a reassuring squeeze.

Seung Ri, realizing that he had acted on impulse, lowered his head and quietly laughed at how ridiculous he must have seemed to you.  You lifted his chin up and made him look at you, reassuring him that he was always welcome to hang out with you and Haru anytime he wanted. He needn’t worry about you and your daughter. He’s young. He has plenty of time to properly fall in love and have a family of his own. He agreed, and you gave him the biggest and tightest hug you could give. You couldn’t help but tear up on how big Seung Ri’s heart was. It made your heart ache for Seung Hyun even more.

"Where the hell are you, Hyun?" you thought to yourself.