What would you have done, had I told you? Quit Bigbang? Married me?

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-SEUNG HYUN-

Seung Hyun was half-way through his second bottle of red wine, as he pondered her question. What WOULD he have done, had she told him she was pregnant?  He was 20, young and foolish, and insanely in-love. He would have quit Bigbang, and offered to marry her. But, without a stable job or a college diploma, what would he have had to offer her and their child? He wouldn’t have been able to provide for them.  In reality, she would have been the one to support him and their baby, and that would not have been wise, or fair, to her and the baby. The other scenario: he would have stayed in Bigbang and debuted. But, how successful would they have become if people found out that one of the members was a young husband and father?  Would they have been as successful as they are now? Ideally, love would have been enough for them. But, reality could deal you with some hard circumstances. He couldn’t even imagine how their lives would have turned out, had she told him about her pregnancy.

His thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of his phone on the coffee table next to him.  He picked it up and looked at the caller ID. “Seung Ri” flashed on the small screen. “Not now, maknae.” he ignored the call and set his phone back down on the table. A few moments later, it beeped, indicating a voice-mail was left. With an exasperated sigh, he decided to click the Voice Mail button to listen to the message. The voice he heard wasn’t maknae’s, it was hers. He listened intently.

“Seung Hyun. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about my pregnancy then. I wish you could understand that I was just thinking of your best interest. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about our daughter sooner. Please don’t think that the reason I didn’t tell you about her was that I didn’t want you in her life. Hyun, I would love for you to be a part of our daughter’s life, our lives. That had always been my wish since I left, since I gave birth to her. I’ve missed you, my Seung Hyun, more than you’ll ever know. My god….I love you. I always have.”

Seung Hyun sat there, stunned. “Our daughter” – he kept playing it over and over in his mind. He has a daughter, a beautiful little girl named Haru. A beautiful being he helped create with someone he loved so much. Someone he still loved. Seung Hyun took a deep breath and sobbed uncontrollably, contemplating on what he should do. He had cried himself to sleep that night.