What is Love?

Part one “Who knew”

You know how people would fall in love within seconds upon meeting each other. Well, when I first heard that I thought it was complete bull. I was always the skeptical one whenever my friends would say ‘they just met the love of their life’.

I would roll my eyes, knowing what I was hearing was completely false because few weeks later, they wished they never have met that girl. I am not saying that it can’t happen because sometime it does. Take my friend, Yoseob for example. He’s a pretty cool guy. He’s smart, talented singer and he’s completely taken by the hottest girl in our school, Bae Suzy. When Yoseob met Suzy, he immediately fell in love with her like every other guy. He thought he didn’t have a chance because he wasn’t exactly a star basketball player like Jang Wooyoung or a child prodigy like Kim Soohyun. He was average compared to them but he made Bae Suzy fall for him at first sight because he was always there for her. He gave her an umbrella when it was raining. He’d lend her his extra pencil whenever hers broke. Everything he did when they would run into each other would cause her heart to beat just a little faster than usual. Yoseob didn’t try to win her heart. He was happy being her friend but what he didn’t know was that her eyes would glance his way just a little longer than anyone else she comes in path with.

 I usually hate talking about sappy love stories but their love reminds me a lot of what I’m missing out. My friends said I’m too pessimistic to fall in love , but I think I’m just not lucky when meeting someone I can love. Every girl I have met so far seems to like me for what my family’s name stands for instead of liking me for me. My name is Jang Hyunseung, and this is the story of how a very pessimistic person (me) met the one girl that causes me to change my view of what ‘love at first sight’ really means.

**

It was a normal morning in Seoul, South Korea. I was getting ready for school when my little brother burst into the room, rambling about something that I wasn’t really paying attention to. I would zone him out whenever he does something like this and that morning wasn’t anything different. I nodded, pretending to hear him as I walked from my bedroom to the bathroom. He continued on, not noticing at all which caused me to wonder if he just wanted to share his news even if I zoned him out. I stopped my track and looked his way as he said “So that’s how I got myself a girlfriend.”

I looked at him, giving him my usual “what” stare. My little brother smiled widely.

“You didn’t listen to a word I said until I said girlfriend, didn’t you.”

“Dongwoon, I was paying attention.” I lied.

“Then what did I said before I told you I have a girlfriend.”

I sighed, pondering through my mind as it worked its magic. I tend to zone out a lot whenever people around me talk but somehow I do sometime catch what the person was saying to me and for my brother it wasn’t usually that hard. I smiled when it came to me. “You like the girl that sits next to you and you have been wanting to ask her out since day one but couldn’t muster up the confident to do so, so you went to JiYong hyung for help and it worked. You are now in a relationship with the girl who has the “cutest” dimple ever. Am I right?”

Dongwoon opened was wide open. “Every time…every time…” He uttered, repeating the words.

“Now can you leave me alone so I can get ready for school…” Dongwoon turned his entire body around and walked toward his bedroom.

I chuckled, proceeding in gathering my books. Now you must be wondering how I came up with that if I wasn’t listening, well last night I’ve overheard Dongwoon telling JiYong hyung about it in the kitchen when I was sneaking back in. It just clicked when I noticed he was wearing his “I’m in love” look. Dongwoon having a girlfriend isn’t a shocker for me. This would be his sixth girlfriends in the past year, and whoever that poor girl is, I’d always feel bad for her in the end. Dongwoon can easily fall for someone, but to maintain that love for over a period of more than a month is hard for him. As much as he loves, he can easily fall out of love. Love for my brother has a time limit that always seem to expire a month into his blossoming relationship. 

My older brother JiYong is the exact opposite of Dongwoon. Hyung can’t seem to fall in love that easily. I think both me and Hyung are skeptical when it’s come to love but for very different reasons. I don’t love for simply that it doesn’t ever happen for me. For Hyung, he got scarred by the one girl he gave his heart to many years ago when he was in high school. Now Hyung is twenty-three and love to him is a pain.

“Hyunseung, do you need a ride to school?” JiYong asked, walking out of his bedroom, wearing a black suit.

“What’s with the suit?”

He looked at me sadly. “A friend passed away…I’m going to the funeral but mom wants me to take you guys to school.”

“A friend? Someone I know?”

“No.” JiYong replied quickly, making me wondered if he was hiding something but I didn’t push him. I decided to drop it.

“You don’t have to take me. Doojoon is picking me up.”

JiYong looked at me again before drifting to Dongwoon’s room. I watched my brother wondering if it was someone who was very close to him. Dongwoon didn’t have a clue as well as we watched our older brother driving away. I sighed, wondering if it was that girl Hyung loved since childhood. Dongwoon didn’t think so or else we would’ve hear from our parents. I guessed Dongwoon was right. The girl that Hyung loved since childhood is the daughter of our mother’s closest friend. I can’t help but feel a strange feeling when we were waiting for Doojoon at that moment.

Doojoon came after a few minutes later and drove like an old lady, really slow. Doojoon’s brand new car was like a god to him. One scratch and hell would break loose. It’s one of the reasons why his little sister was ban.

I glanced toward the window, staring at the sidewalk as we drove by. My mind wandered off into a deep thought when something drew me away and back to focus on the crowd that was beside us. My eyes wandered to a girl, probably around my age, nodding along to whatever she was listening to. She didn’t seem to pay attention to the hundreds of eyes that were watching her, laughing at her strange behavior. She seems to be in her own world, not caring at all. I found it interesting for some reason as my eyes just stayed on her. She was walking the same way we were heading and I wondered if she goes to our school.

Doojoon picked up his speed as he turned the corner, causing me to lose sight of her. I turned my head, wondering if she was heading our way but she went the opposite. I swayed my head back to the front, as I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I wondered who she was and why I found her so interesting when I barely know her. Was that the reason? Because I don’t know her, I want to know her? She kept reappearing in my mind at that moment. I suddenly remembered something Yoseob told me when he first saw Suzy. Was this love at first sight? I chuckled at the thought. Who knew I could feel that way. Was I experiencing what I have always been missing out? Was I starting to fall in love? I hope not.