Patience, n.

-an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care

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How do you know when it’s the right time? And how do you know when you’ve made a mistake? These were the thoughts that were running through Taemin’s head as he felt his heart just fall out of his chest.

“Naeun-ah…will you marry me?”

“Oppa…”

Naeun grabbed his hands and pulled him into a standing position and then cupped the side of his face.

“I can’t marry you, Oppa…”

One day earlier…

Taemin had just arrived in Korea after a business trip to Japan. It was really hot, he was really tired and all he wanted to do was crawl into his bed, turn the air conditioning on and sleep. Not only that, he wanted his sleep so that he would be feeling refreshed for his date with Naeun. As the van left the airport, within fifteen minutes, they were stuck in traffic. What was surprising was that this route usually didn’t have traffic as it didn’t follow the main roads. He couldn’t sleep in the van since other cars around them kept honking their horns, and he couldn’t properly stretch his leg in his sitting position. After twenty minutes, Taemin began to get annoyed.

“Hyung! We’re not moving?”

“Doesn’t seem like it…”

“Waeyo?”

“I think that there was an accident further up the road.”

Taemin grunted and then twisted in his seat hoping that the new position would help him relax. He put his headphones on hoping that it would distract him, but that didn’t help. He went on his phone and browsed through the internet languidly, until one article had caught his eye. It seemed as if the news article was related to the current predicament that he was currently in. The headline read: TRAGIC END TO WEDDING

The article was a short one as it was a quick update made by witnesses as reported by the local news. The couple were about to cross the road to reach their car when a driver was speeding past and didn’t brake in time to prevent a collision with the people crossing the street. It is suspected that it was a drunk driver and the couple both seem to be badly injured. Police had just arrived at the scene and were waiting for an ambulance. As he read this, he heard sirens wailing past and hoped that whatever happened, the people would be alright and that he could finally get home.

Half an hour later they were moving again, albeit slowly. Driving past the church seemed like a scene from a movie, where everything happened in slow motion. He saw one ambulance drive off, and another being loaded with a body that was completely covered. He saw people crying and his heart broke but he could only think of one person: Naeun. She was out of the country right now but would be returning home the next day. He was desperate to call her but they had agreed to call each other the next day, so that “Oppa would miss Naeun-ie more and Naeun would miss her Oppa more…”

When Taemin finally reached the dorm, he went straight into his room. He was physically tired but his mind had gone into overdrive. He had never seen that kind of accident in real life and only saw it in movies and dramas. He knew these things happened but they never happened around him – he was always distant from these kind of events. Even though he didn’t know those people personally he couldn’t image the physical and emotional turmoil that they were going through. What hit him hard was the fact that it was during a wedding; during a supposed happiest day in someone’s life. Taemin never took anything for granted but now he valued life even more.

Somehow, he managed to fall asleep and when he woke up he found his Hyungs eating dinner in front of the television. The news report was about the accident, but now the article was being reported in greater detail. The driver had been drunk and the parents of the bride and groom were pressing charges. The groom had survived with severe injuries and was in the intensive care unit but the bride had been pronounced deceased on the scene. Taemin’s heart sunk and his mind flashed to the body that was being loaded onto the ambulance. The report ended with a photograph of the couple and Taemin thought about how happy they had looked; as happy as him and Naeun when they took selcas together.

When the report ended, the SHINee members were quiet, and he softly heard Jonghyun make a remark.

“You can’t have too much happiness…”

It seems that Key had heard it too because he made a reply.

“You can…but you just have to be careful…”

Taemin pushed away his dinner and retreated to his room. That night he prayed really hard to have Naeun brought home safely from her trip and also for the man who was lying in the hospital and had just lost his wife.

The next day, Taemin went with APINK’s manager to pick up the girls from the airport. As soon as he saw Naeun come out from the arrival gates he ran to her and gave her a big hug. He then tugged on her arm and dragged her into their van.

“I missed you too…Oppa.”

Taemin answered by hugging her even tighter. The girls were dropped off at their dorm but Taemin had asked him and Naeun to be driven to their apartment. When he was with her he forgot everything, but the accident was still lurking somewhere in the back of his mind. When they got into the apartment, Naeun launched herself into making them some lunch as Taemin sat and admired his girlfriend, admiring her back as she worked hard to make them some food. After they ate, he helped her clean up, and then they sat on the couch while Naeun took out some presents she received from overseas fans. She took out some fan artwork and presented them to Taemin. Taemin looked around the room and saw all their memories again. He saw a hand waving in front of him.

“Oppa? Oppa? Are you alright? You seem distracted…”

Taemin attempted to make a cheesy comeback to disguise his real thoughts.

“Distracted by your beauty…”

“Eyyy…Ani…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”

“Ahrasso…I’ll believe you for now…But if you get distracted again I’ll think that you have another girl besides me…”

“Never…you’re the only one for me…”

Naeun found this strange. He usually said it in a playful tone, but this time he looked deadly serious. Naeun kissed him on the lips and Taemin became completely lost in her. But then, Jonghyun’s words moved to the forefront of his brain: “you can’t have too much happiness…”

And then, he blurted it out. Those four words. They just tumbled out of his mouth.

“Naeun-ah…Will you marry me?”

Naeun was taken aback. She grabbed his hands and pulled them into a standing position and then cupped his face.

“I can’t marry you, Oppa…”

That was it Taemin thought. You can’t have too much happiness.

“Why? I thought we were going to get married in the future anyway…”

“Exactly. In the future, Oppa. You and I aren’t ready yet. You’ve been acting strange. This isn’t like you…Please, tell me what’s wrong…”

Taemin kissed Naeun. She let him for a few seconds sensing his need for comfort but pulled back.

“Oppa…”

Present time…

Exhaling sharply, he sat on the floor.

“Yesterday, there was an accident on the way back to the dorms. There was a wedding and a drunk driver didn’t stop and crashed into the bride and groom as they were crossing the road. The groom is critically injured and survived but the…the…the bride didn’t survive…”

Naeun just nodded to encourage him to keep going.

“It’s just that they were so happy…they just got married…and I saw their photo on the news. They looked like us. They looked in love and happy. I just thought of you…and how much I love you…and want to protect you…and I don’t know…the idea of marrying you was…I don’t know…some solution that my brain made up without realising it…”

“I get it, Oppa. But we don’t have control over these things. We can’t always protect each other…especially because of our careers but that’s why we have this…”

Naeun pointed to hers and Taemin’s rosary bracelets.

“…and why we believe in God and in each other…”

“I just want you forever…”

“You’ve got me…but now’s not the time to think about getting married. Let’s enjoy now…okay?”

“Okay…I’ll wait for the day you say yes…”

“Don’t worry, Oppa…good things are coming for the both of us…”