Ethereal, adj.

-extremely delicate or refined; heavenly or celestial

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A year had passed since they had decided to break up. Their life as idols continued to be the same: filled with travelling, variety show appearances, concerts, promotions, stages, photoshoots and all the crazy things in between.  During this time, Taemin and Naeun had only appeared on the same stages twice, at the most, and it was for a year end concert.

When news broke out of their break up, it was a hot topic for at least one whole week. Those who had shipped them together were absolutely devastated, some were in denial, others rejoiced and some even said “I told you so”. Whatever the reaction was, after a while, you would notice how the two had become very awkward with each other, to the point where Taemin and Naeun’s expressionless face when the other was mentioned or anything related was being scrutinised as if under a microscope, just to try and see any sign that points to their current relationship status. Loyal fans held out the same hope that Taemin did that one day they would get back together. When the groups were on variety shows, Taemin and Naeun crawled back into their shell. Gone were the bubbly and humorous personalities that they had adapted because of each other, and was replaced with their former reserved and quiet personas.

It had been a year. A very hard year. It was evident in the both of them that the scar had faded but left a deep impression on their lives. Both were missing each other so much, that they threw themselves completely into their work. During the first month, their members knew to leave them alone when they were in a bad mood, but were immediately there to comfort if they asked for help. By the third month, they slowly got back into their routines, but were always in their own world; always in deep thought. By the sixth month, they were back to normal, adjusting to life, and taking one step to being okay every day. It was still hard, and in quiet moments, they would think about each other, and once in a while, on those days where there were memories attached, they would even cry. By the ninth month, they learnt how to smile again, even if it was once a day over the smallest thing because the pain was slowly subsiding. And finally, when the year came to completion, their hearts and minds were numb.

Two weeks after the day that marked the anniversary of their breakup, it was a sunny day that ended with a clear starry night. On their way home from a schedule, Taemin and Naeun couldn’t help but look out the window of the car and stare into the night sky. Taemin thought back to that night. He still had hope, and he decided that he would go skateboarding that night by the Han River. Naeun had the same thought and felt a sudden urge to go for a walk by the river that night, to clear her mind and to relax her.

When it was getting dark, Taemin grabbed his cap, put on a hoodie, took his skateboard and walked out of his dorm, bidding a quick goodbye to his hyungs who told him to come back before midnight. Naeun also put on a black hoodie and brought some sunglasses and took a bus to the Han River. She walked around for about an hour, watching the sun finally set and then sat down at a park bench to admire the night view. There were still people around: walking, jogging, running, cycling and boarding.

Taemin was skateboarding, enjoying his free time, but something made him look up, and when he did he felt his heart beat faster. It was her. It definitely was her. He still had her memorised, her face, her body forever etched into his brain. He flipped his skateboard, tucked it under his arm and made his way over to the girl.

Naeun was too engrossed in the view to notice that someone had sat next to her. After five minutes, she noticed that the weight of the park bench had shifted and began to smell an awfully familiar cologne. She slowly turned her head to the right and came face to face with a man who she had wanted to see for so long. In her mind, she was begging him to look at her, so that she could meet his eyes. The numbness that had enveloped her heart broke as soon as she laid eyes on him. She still loved him, she had just been trying to convince herself otherwise for so long. She hoped that he felt the same.

Taemin waited patiently for her to look at him and so he shifted his focus to the night sky. The stars seemed brighter that night, and so many of them had come out. He caught sight of her finally looking at him through his peripheral vision. He willed himself to keep looking ahead, but her gaze was making his heart beat louder and faster and the butterflies that had been caged for so long were finally out to play. Instead, he cleared his throat.

“It’s a beautiful night…”

“It is…”

They were enveloped in a silence once more. But it was not awkward. Both of them were still trying to process that they were here, together, after more than a year being apart. They finally heard each other’s voice and were both longing for the other to finally say their names. The atmosphere felt like it was coming home. Coming back into each other’s arms and finally getting back each other’s hearts even though it never left. Naeun spoke up first.

“I didn’t want us to break up…”

“Me too…but I felt like we had to…”

“That’s why I let you go…and why I didn’t put up a fight…”

“Why?”

“It was the way your voice cracked…and the way you had tears in your eyes. Your heart was in pain but your mind was made up. I didn’t want to make anything harder for you…that was enough…”

“As soon as I said the words, I wanted to take them back.”

“When you called me saying that you wanted to talk, I also made a decision to listen and accept whatever you had to say…”

“I wanted you to stay. I wanted you to run after me…”

“I wanted to run after you too…but I felt like I needed to let go.”

“You could have come back…but it wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t strong enough to deal with all the stress at that time…”

“You were strong…we just weren’t ready…”

“We were young…”

“We were. And while we sat there for that hour I kept thinking about how it was just a test…and somehow we would pass through it…and come out better because of it…”

“I think we grew up…”

“We didn’t know that we still had a lot of growing up to do. But now we’re both better…”

“Do you think it’s fate that we ended up here tonight?”

“I do. That night, you told me that you felt like the whole world was against us. It kind of was...The reason that I came here tonight was because of the stars. The weather was exactly like this. I thought that it was taunting me…mocking me”

“I think it was God’s plan to put us through that…I still had hope even after we broke up…”

“I didn’t. But when we saw each other backstage at MBC, and you looked at me after I brushed your arm…I swear…I saw the stars in your eyes. It was a sign…from God. We were always meant to be but our stars just hadn’t lined up yet…”

“They were still trying to find each other…”

“Still trying to make a constellation…”

“Like tonight…”

“All the stars came out tonight, Naeun-ah. Even you…”

“You too, Oppa…”

They were so close, but, not so far away anymore. It felt like they were finally in reach of each other. The emotional and mental distance was gone and the only thing left was the space between them on the park bench. They didn’t need to say anymore words. Their hearts understood each other. They were connected, and both of their nerves were on fire. All it took was for Taemin to finally grab Naeun’s hands and intertwine his fingers with hers that both let out a loud sigh. They had made it. The river was flowing smoothly and their hearts were now at ease.

Taemin and Naeun were still idols.

They still had fans and a job to do.

They were still young.

But now, they would have a mature love that has learnt to surpass the trials and both are now stronger because of it.