=Billions & Two Choices=

Chanyeol...

Tao didn't remove his lips on mine and I opened my eyes.

Chanyeol...

I closed my eyes again and tried not to think of him and tried to kiss Tao back. 

Soo Jin, don't cheat on Chanyeol!

I opened my eyes for the second time and Tao's hand transferred from my hand to the side of my face. I placed my hands on his chest causing him to smile as he kissed me but I pushed him. His eyes that was full of sincerity a minute ago was now full of hurt and a little bit of disappointment. "I'm sorry, Tao. It's just..."

"It's just what?" he asked.

"Chanyeol... He's still my boyfriend. I'm not a cheater, Tao." I say as I avoid his gaze. God, I don't want to hurt Tao. I don't want to hurt Chanyeol. I don't want to hurt Kris... my Peter Pan. I don't want to hurt Kyungsoo. I don't want to hurt Sehun. I don't want to hurt Baekhyun. I don't want to hurt Jongin. God, I wish I'm the ugliest person in the world to avoid hurting others feelings.

I expected Tao to get off the bed and yell at me because I know how much he hates the topic about me and Chanyeol but he didn't. He just took a deep breath and I figured out he's controlling himself. I looked at him and now it's his turn to avoid me. He looked down and I followed his eyes. I can almost see the tears forming in the corner of his eyes but he rubbed his eyes with his thumb. "Why him, Soo Jin?" he asked. My heart sunk because the way he said it... it broke my heart. You can tell in his tone that he's... heartbroken.

I was about to reach up to place my hand on his shoulder but he backed away and looked at me biting his lip to prevent the tears from falling. He probably doesn't want to look like a weakling in front of me just because of a stupid love.

As if he's reading my mind, he coldly said. "Yes. You are right. I'm trying to prevent my ing tears to fall because I don't want to look like a weakling in front of you because I'm not supposed to cry because I have to be strong because I am your protector. How dare you say this is just a stupid love?! You don't know how I feel about you so don't you ever say this is just a stupid love!"

I looked down. His voice softened, "Soo Jin, do you... feel the same way?"

Yes you do, Soo Jin. You do feel the same way about him. Say yes, Soo Jin. SAY YES! my heart says.

No, Soo Jin! What about Chanyeol?! You're not one of those girls who cheats on their boyfriends! my brain says.

But Chanyeol is only using her as a rebound, you stupid brain! Soo Jin, don't listen to it. Listen to me. Tell Tao what you feel about him! my heart says.

I'm not stupid. I'm just telling her what's the right thing to do. You have to lie, Soo Jin. my brain said. 

Gosh... I'm going crazy. I even assumed there are voices inside me arguing!

Me, following my stupid brain, I shook my head. "I don't." I answered not looking into his eyes. I slowly look up at him and then a tear fell to his cheek. I badly want to wipe it away but I can't. Because if I did, it's an indication that I really do feel something for him even though I said the opposite.

Tao moved closer to me and held my face closer to his. He spoke in a desperate tone. "Soo Jin, listen to me. I can feel it. You feel the same way, Soo Jin. You just don't want to admit it because you're still with Chanyeol. I may sound like a conceited idiot right now but I know that you love me. Why did you choose to be with me instead of going with the other boys? It is because you want me to be happy and if someone else's happiness is your happiness that is love."

I got up from the bed because if I stay longer in front of him, he might read my mind. He might figure out that he is right and I don't want that to happen. Call me stubborn but I really don't want that to happen.

I ran across the room to the door but he grabbed my arm. I glared at him. "Let me go, Tao."

"I won't." 

"I don't love you, Tao!"

And the moment those words left my mouth, my heart broke. His eyes are now full of hurt and he lighten his grasp on my arm. "That's not true." He said in a tone that makes you assume that he is sure of what he's saying. As if he's right. And sure, he is right. What I told him is not true.

I ran my fingers through my hair and asked, "Tao, why me?"

He sighed and looked deeply into my eyes almost looking right into my soul. "I... I don't know. I just... It just happened. I... I was amazed the first time I saw you at your former home and then the more time you stay with us, the more I realize that I.... I love you. Not just because you are the cutest, most beautiful and most charming girl in the whole wide world but because of the fact that everything I've ever wanted is right in front of me."

I stared back at him and my lips curved into a tight smile. As if I don't want him to know that I was touched by what he told me but I cannot hide it. 

He continued and he leaned in but not too close. "Can't you believe it, Soo Jin? There are billions of other girls in the world and you're the only girl I need. That's why right now, I'm telling you what I really feel about you because there also billions of other boys in this world and six boys who happen to be my best friends already beat me to it."

I looked down and tried not to blush. He held my face and said, "Soo Jin, this is the only time that i'm going to ask you this. I'm not going to ask you this in the future because I'm not a backup plan or a second choice. Choose me or lose me?"

Choose him. Choose him! my heart says as it beats faster.

You know what's right, Soo Jin. my brain says giving me a little headache.

I looked up at him and smiled. "I choo-"

I was interrupted when there was a knock on the door. Tao's smile faded and groaned in annoyance. "Who is it?!"

"This is the butler. There are two phonecalls for Mr. and Mrs. Huang at the front desk, sir."

Tao pulled away from me and then he opened the door wide and there stood the butler maybe around fifty years old wearing a suit.

"From whom?" Tao asked.

"A certain Mr. Park for Mrs. Huang and a certain Mr. Wu for Mr. Huang."

Tao flinched the moment the butler said Mr. Wu and then he turned to me. He gave me the I-am-so-dead look. I just laughed. It's your problem now Tao. Not mine. You are the one to be blamed if Kris kills you because you threw your phone outside the car instead of calling them and- Wait. Did the butler said Mr. Park for Mrs. Huang?

Oh. My. God.