“You might want to put that down before you hurt someone”

Jaehwan knew what an awkward situation looks like but this was his most awkward moment he had ever encountered in his life. He remembered waking up to a loud crashing sound and a man repeating an apology. He opened his eyes just to find himself in an unknown room with the door slightly ajar. By the sound of it, there were two people outside the room; shouting at each other angrily. Jaehwan was feeling dizzy and he could only remember hearing the girl shouting swear words. There was a sound of a door opened and slammed hard. Someone was leaving the house. Jaehwan’s hand makes its way to his pocket, almost instantly as though it was a reflex; where he found a pocketknife. He stood up and waited behind the door. There was a familiar voice saying softly to someone “Stop doing this to yourself…” He knew that voice. Jaehwan was alarmed by the sudden footsteps towards the room he was in and was so surprised when the door was pushed that he tripped over a hidden lamp behind him.

  A young woman was standing in front of him. She had long dark brown hair which she kept in a loose ponytail; her eyes were also brown and bigger than a typical Korean girl’ eyes and she appears to be 5 feet and 6 inches tall. She had a checkered shirt with dark blue skinny jeans on. It was for a second that he realized he was holding a pocketknife pointing directly at her while gawking stupidly from the floor.

“Give it to me. I’m not gonna hurt you” she said in a very soft voice.

  He couldn’t believe the sudden impulse he had to just put his faith on a stranger like her. Jaehwan handed the pocketknife to her and awkwardly grabbed her hand as she helped him standing up.

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. Come outside the living room. I’ll make you hot tea”

  Jaehwan followed her to the center of the house. He sat down on the couch and looked around him. His eyes were focused on a big frame of picture on the wall. It was a picture of the woman back hugging a man he assumed to be her lover. She looked so happy in the picture. The woman appeared from the kitchen carrying a tray. He scanned her face and was surprised to see that the radiant smile she had in the picture was nowhere to be found on hers. This woman didn’t look like she had the capability to smile at all. But for some weird reason, he remembered her smiling at him somewhere.

“Are you okay?” she began.

“Do I know you?” Jaehwan asked carefully.

“I don’t think so. Your name is Lee Jaehwan, am I right?”

Jaehwan nodded slowly. He was waiting for a follow-up but when it didn’t come, he took a sip of the tea.

“You just met me 2 hours ago before you fainted”

“I – what? Why did I faint?”

She was starting to feel annoyed. “What’s my name?”

“I – I don’t – I can’t remember”

“It’s Eri – Yang Eri”

“Eri. Okay”

“You can stop acting now. I’m the only one here”

Jaehwan didn’t understand it. “But I really don’t know you”

Eri looked perturbed for a while. “Really? You’re serious?”

“Yes. What am I doing here?”

“Well, you were at the bridge and you – uhh – ” Eri explained.

“What was I doing at the bridge?”

Eri knows she shouldn’t tell him about what just happened to him. What would happen if she tells him that he was trying to commit suicide?

“We were meeting each other”

Jaehwan looked surprised and slightly guilt-ridden because he could not recognize her. “We were? I – um – ”

And then, Eri made the one mistake she would regret in the future. “I’m your girlfriend”

  Jaehwan has never been so shocked in his life if it wasn’t at that night. He was literally speechless and kept thinking about the right thing to say. He didn’t know he had a girlfriend.

“I – don’t think I have a girlfriend. I would’ve remembered that. This is so confusing. Anyway who’s the guy on the picture?” Jaehwan pointed at the big frame on the wall.

  Eri gave out a weird sad expression on her face when she saw it. “That’s my little brother”

“Really? Listen – I’m sorry for everything. I don’t know why this is happening to me but I really can’t remember anything at all” Jaehwan began apologizing frantically.

“You must have at least something that you can remember” Eri said.

  Jaehwan allowed himself some quietness to rack his memories. “I feel like I owe you something and – and I was sad – I felt sad”

“What about now?”

“I still feel it – a bit” said Jaehwan slowly.

“You’re just in shock. You’ll get better in about a week or so. For the time being, just consider me as your friend and stay here until you’re feeling better”

“But I thought you said you’re my girlfriend?” asked Jaehwan feeling so confused. Eri sounded like she didn’t know him at all.

“I was just trying to calm you down. You might try and attack me if I told you that I’m a stranger. And please believe me; I have no intention in hurting you. You can stay here”

Jaehwan was feeling even more baffled. He needed some explanations and Eri doesn’t seem like she wants to give it to him.

  As though reading his mind, Eri said “I know you’re confused and want to know what happened but you’re still a bit shaken. I’ll explain everything when you’re ready. Please get some rest”

  But Jaehwan couldn’t get some rest. He felt tired and he doesn’t know why; which makes him even more puzzled about what had actually happened to him. He doesn’t trust Eri completely to be honest and she weren’t making it any easier for him when she kept being mysterious and reluctant to tell him the truth.

“I don’t feel comfortable staying here. I want to go back home” said Jaehwan.

  Eri rolled her eyes in disbelief. “I said I’m not going to hurt you. What do you expect from a girl like me? You’re much taller and bigger than me. Do you actually think I have a chance against you?”

“Well you could stab me or something I dunno…” Jaehwan muttered in his breath.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing. I’ll go inside that – uh – guest room and get some sleep since I’m feeling very sleepy now” Jaehwan stood up so fast and headed towards the room he was sleeping on earlier. He stopped on the threshold for a second and turned around; giving Eri an odd expression as though trying to remember something. “Good night – um – ”

Eri seemed to understand him. “It’s Eri”

“Right. Good night Eri” Jaehwan concluded and closed the door behind him.

  Eri chuckled slightly when she heard the clicking sound of a door locking. She was exhausted of course and wanted nothing more but a nice comfortable sleep. The whole day has been a tiring day for her with the calls, Hakyeon and now this. She took a moment to give a mighty good look at the huge picture in front of her. The memory was too painful. Hakyeon’s words earlier kept on repeating by itself in her head.

“Stop if it’s killing you”

“You know I can’t”

“Eri, you know there’s no point in doing this!”

“Hakyeon-ah, I know you care about me but I need to be alone now”

  Their engaging conversation that very night has been disturbing her ever since. She couldn’t look at Hakyeon’s face without feeling guilty.  He has been the nicest person in her life since high-school and now she had to repay him with cold expressions. She needed him to stay away from her life.

Eri took a momentary look at the guest room’s door and then to her brother’s face in the picture. Her brother was the only one who can give her the strength to move on. She beamed at his photo and as her imagination continues to run, her brother somehow materialized in front of her. He was wearing the exact shirt he wore in the picture and he had the same idiotic grin on his head which she loved most. He was smiling. He looked real and solid. Eri didn’t dare to touch him in fear that he would go away like always. However this time his brother actually spoke to her.

“Noona…”

“You’re tired right?”

“It’s hard isn’t it?”

“Even if it’s tough, bear it, just for a little bit more”

“You’re strong aren’t you?”

He smiled. He took a step forward and placed one hand on her right cheek.

“Noona… be happy…”

And she slept through the whole night with tears on her eyes. It was the most peaceful dream she has ever had.  

To be continued…