I can still remember how you smelled like. The usual scent; it was your favorite green tea latte. You liked it when I told you that I love green tea ice-cream. Did you know that I was already wavering that day?

 I can still remember your trembling voice asking me the question I wish you’d never asked. Why did you try so hard to pluck all the courage you had and force me to give you an answer?

Blue roses… yes, those flowers were always there weren’t they? Right at the corner of the shop; you would just leave it without a note. You have been hiding behind the cloak of time itself. Why can’t you just leave me in the dark?

Why can’t you just stay invisible? I wanted you to stay out of my life. Was it too hard for you?

Why can’t you just… stay away?

 ♪ bzz… bzzz… ♪

“Hello?”

It was obvious judging by the caller’s fast breathing sound that he or she was nervous. The one who was called has been expecting this. She has been receiving a lot of missed calls from this unknown number. It was about time for a real call.

“What is your name?” The caller finally spoke. So it’s a guy.

“Who is this?”

“Please, your name”

She rolled her eyes in irritation. “Eri”

The caller sounded relieved and she didn’t know why.

“Can I meet you?”

Eri hung up. She thought of changing her phone number but it was too much of a hassle for her. She pocketed her phone and emerged from under the counter to receive a glare from her manager. Cha Hakyeon was standing in front of the counter with both his arms crossed.

“I know we only have one customer right now but do you think you’re allowed to enjoy some free time behind the counter just because of that?”

“I was just answering the phone” said Eri defensively.

“Look, we’ve been friends since high-school but I’m still your boss so when I say no phone calls during work, it means no phone calls during work. Do we get ourselves clear now?” Hakyeon demanded.

Eri nodded weakly. Hakyeon breathed out in frustration. He didn’t know how to communicate properly with her. She changed so much after they left high shool. She would rather just stare blankly at the walls when someone is talking to her.

Eri wasn’t like that before. They used to be close friends and she was livelier than this strange cold emo zombie-like she has become now. Hakyeon has been observing her for the last 3 years since he offered her a job in the café. It was a miracle to know that someone other than her boyfriend Taekwoon is calling her.

Another thing that irked him the most was that terrible boyfriend of hers. He could not understand why she would date a possible drug addict who seemed like he has a short temper and would beat her up when he’s drunk. ‘I deserve him’ was her go-to answer when Hakyeon asked her why. Hakyeon has only seen this boyfriend of hers once when he went inside the café. Hakyeon had a bad first impression about him. The way he dresses, walks, talks and looks at people gave him the creep. The only reason why he thought he was a drug addict was because Hakyeon swore that he saw him with a couple of thugs. Eri told him to mind his own business when he confronted her about it.

“I like your ex-boyfriend more although I don’t know if that title fits him now since you know – well, he’s way much nicer than this Taekhyun guy!” Hakyeon complained once.

“It’s Taekwoon and I would appreciate it if you stop badmouthing him”

No matter how many times Hakyeon tried to talk it out with her, she just wouldn’t listen. Hakyeon gave up after months of trying.

The phone rang again. Eri caught Hakyeon’s glance and he just waved his hand lazily to the kitchen. Eri made her way to the back and answered the call.

“Eri?”

“Please don’t call me again”

“I beg you please - don’t hang up on me. I want to meet you”

“Why me?”

“Do you believe in destiny?”

“Bull. I don’t even know you”

“My name is Sanghyuk”

“F*** you” said Eri and she hung up on him again.

She sat down on a stool; just staring at the number.  There was something familiar with the guy’s tone. The way he talks triggered a memory of hers; a dark and sad memory. Eri shook her head in order to keep it away and out from her head. She put the phone inside her jeans’ pocket and continued the rest of the days as she usually had.

It was 10.30pm and Eri was left alone to clean up before leaving. They had very few customers that day so Hakyeon was complaining about everything before he went home. The café was just opened 4 years ago and Eri was his and only worker left. He had to dismiss the others because of the bad economy so Eri had to work overtime. 

Once she was done, she locked all the doors and after making sure every switch was turned off, she went home. She was thinking about the caller earlier. Who might he be? Why was he calling her? She tried racking her brain for his possible identity but she was completely sure there was no other Sanghyuk in her life. She concluded that it was a prank call; a very mean one.

Eri passed by the usual bridge and was so into her deep thoughts that she didn’t realize a huge black luggage was lying flat on the ground before she tripped over it. Her knees were slightly bleeding but everything else was fine. That was until she noticed a dark shadow upfront. It took her about five seconds to realize that it was a man standing on the edge of the bridge with one hand gripping tightly on an electric pole. He was sweating profusely and kept muttering words she could not hear.

Eri made her way towards the poor man without fear. She knows how he was feeling at the moment because she has been through the same experience few years before.

“Excuse me? Are you lost?”

The man turned his face slightly to look at her. He was surprisingly young, probably still on his mid-twenties but he has a rather forlorn expression on his face for such age. It was dark but Eri could still distinguish his tears from his sweats. His eyes were red and his face puffy from all the crying he had probably done hours before.

 Eri smiled for the very first time in her aloof life where she was given no options but to never be able to smile properly to anyone after that tragic event. She meant the smile more than anyone else could have given this poor guy; because she knows how it feels.

“Stay away from me or I’ll – I’ll – ” His voice was quavering with fear but there was also a tiny pang of relief to see someone who would try to hold him back, who would possibly try and give him the solution to his pathetic life and ends his misery.

“Jump?” Eri finished the sentence for him. “Or you’ll jump? Is that right?”

The man bit his lip uncertainly. “Yes! I’ll – I’ll jump! Just stay back!”

“But what exactly are you trying to do?”

The man was not expecting to answer such question from a stranger like her. “I’m going to jump!”

“Why?”

“Why do you think it is?! To kill myself of course!”

“That must have been difficult. Took you a lot of courage to say that isn’t it?”

“What?”

“To actually admit that you’re trying to kill yourself when you’re not. That’s not easy”

Eri got closer to him but not too close to scare him off. She put her hands on the cold fence as she looked down at the river awaiting its victim from above.

“Do you know how painful it feels like to jump into calm water?”

“No” He was surprised himself that he actually answered her. Her presence seemed to calm him enough to start a conversation with Eri.

“It’s technically a solid. If you slam yourself onto the surface of the water, you just slam onto it and you stop falling for a millisecond. Down there you know, is basically cement once you’ve decided to jump anyway”

The man looked bewildered and wide eyed. He was not expecting this kind of situation to happen. He thought it would just be quick and tidy but now he’s confused as hell. Eri noticed this and started talking again.

“My name’s Yang Eri. What’s yours?”

The man hesitated for a while before answering her softly “Lee Jaehwan. My name is Lee Jaehwan”

Eri extended her hand towards him slowly. “Take it. There’s no one else here who would reach out for you so just listen to me and take my hand”

“No one… else?”

Eri straightened her hand out. “Just - take it”

Trembling hard, Jaehwan took her hand and slowly they made it to the ground. As soon as he was safe away from the fence, Jaehwan fall on his back, breathing fast. Eri patted his shoulder and sat down beside him.

“Good job on enduring it”

Jaehwan gave her a dirty look as if she was teasing him for being a coward. “I would’ve done it if it wasn’t because of you”

“You would’ve jumped if you want to but you were too busy staring at the water weren’t you?”

Jaehwan sighed sadly. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Don’t ask me that. I’m just here to save you from making what might be the worst decision in your life. You have to figure that part out by yourself. I’m done here. Good bye”

Before Eri could stand up, Jaehwan grabbed her sleeves towards him. “Are you just going to leave me here? Are you serious?!”

Her upper body was literally slammed on his body and she was forced to look at him face to face. Jaehwan didn’t seem to mind this. He was just thinking about how absurd the situation was to him.

“Then what do you think I’m supposed to do? Let me go!”

Jaehwan pushed her back violently and stood up as fast as he could before making his way towards the fence again. Eri managed to grip his left knee forcing the poor guy to collapse. She sat down on his back and placed both his hands behind his back with his palms facing outward as how a police would to handcuff someone.

“Are you crazy?!” Eri shouted.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Get off me!” Jaehwan shouted back as his body wiggled around for freedom.

“You owed me twice here mister! I just saved your life for the second time!”

“What’s the point of saving me if you’re going to be irresponsible for what you did?!”

“Excuse me? I’m not responsible for your life dammit!”

Jaehwan stopped wriggling around for a second. Eri waited for another shout from him but it didn’t come but something else did instead. He was crying again. Eri let his hands loose and turned his body around to face the sky. Jaehwan put his right arm on his eyes to cover his tears but he was still sobbing loudly.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I know how you feel. I’m sorry” Eri muttered. It was like trying to comfort a child who just dropped his candy to the ground.

Eri pulled him into a hug and his shoulder gently. “Life is hard. I don’t know what happened to you but I’m sorry that it did”

Jaehwan was sobbing hysterically before he out completely. Furious, Eri called Hakyeon for help. When he arrived, Eri told him to “just shut up and don’t say a word yet” and helped him carry Jaehwan into the backseat. She placed his luggage she just tripped over earlier in the trunk.

“So….” Hakyeon began.

“Just keep driving please”

“Where to?”

“My house”

“You’re sure ‘bout that?”

Eri ignored him. She turned around to check on Jaehwan. He was still unconscious but looked calmer than before.

“I have the right to know. You called me” Hakyeon muttered.

“He was trying to jump off the bridge” said Eri casually.

“He – what?! Aren’t we supposed to send him to the hospital then?” said Hakyeon, bewildered.

“No. He wasn’t going to jump anyway. He was too scared and didn’t know what to do. I’m sure he’ll be alright tomorrow”

Hakyeon gave her an uncertain look. “Eri, I know things have been hard on you lately and I don’t want you to get yourself into trouble and –”

“I’m not” Eri interrupted.

She didn’t like it when Hakyeon showed too much concern for her.

 “I’m not getting into trouble. Don’t worry about me”

“Then send him somewhere else other than your house” Hakyeon insisted.

“Stop the car”

“What?”

“Stop the car. Now”

Hakyeon ignored her request. “I don’t want to”

“Stop the f***ing car right now if you don’t want to help me” Eri demanded.

Hakyeon stayed quiet along the way after that. He knows there was no way he could change Eri’s thought once she makes her final decision. He was at least thankful that this part of her didn’t change.

Eri was only bringing Jaehwan home because she knows that the only place he’d be comfortable in is somewhere not home. Eri once ended in the hospital and she didn’t like the feeling at all so she left after what could be hours of fighting with Hakyeon before the latter decided to take her to his house. It made her sick when she think about going to the hospital. It was the only place she hated with every single cell, fiber and being of her body and Hakyeon knows it. He always do.

“Can I stay here? At least until he wakes up”

Hakyeon helped Eri to carry Jaehwan into the guest room. After placing him on the bed, Hakyeon grew even more worried for her. He didn’t want to leave a stranger together with her. And moreover, a stranger who just tried to kill himself. Anything could happen when he wakes up. Plus, tomorrow is a day-off for her. He couldn’t see her at work to check on her.

“Leave”

  Sighing heavily, Hakyeon was forced to leave after spending half an hour arguing with her. The minute he drove away from her house, Jaehwan opened his eyes and grabbed something from his pocket.

To be continued…