Seunghyun was never the violent type but he had really wanted to throw his phone out of the car window when it showed no signs that the ringing would stop. It was his mother but Seunghyun was not in the right frame of mind to speak to her now. He was angry. Really mad. And he had no idea how to deal with this.

He slammed his foot onto the brakes and leaped out of the car, not caring that he had pretty much blocked up three parking lots with his crappy parking. As he burst into the apartment, all he heard was his ragged breath. Slowly, he leaned onto the wall and sank down to his knees.

His phone rang again and this time, he allowed it through.

“She’s not here,” Seunghyun said. He was almost whispering, but his voice sounded so loud in the empty apartment. He raised a hand to his eyes and listened to his mother for a while. When he finally let the phone fall from his ear, Seunghyun cried.

FLASHBACK

“What the hell is this! Call Seoul immediately and ask who released this?!” Youngbae hissed, the shock of seeing the article having shaken him to the core. The concert had gone great but the atmosphere backstage had been weird. It was only when he probed his manager that the truth came out.

Lee Hyomin has denied any links between her recent hospitalization and G-Dragon’s injury. Rumors were also circulating that YG’s young creative director had been in hospital due to a miscarriage but she brushed them off as absurd tales. There were even speculations that she had been carrying G-Dragon’s child – a nasty fight over it leading to their respective stints to the hospital.

“I refute all tall tales that have been spreading about Kwon Jiyong and I. We are just really close colleagues and I find these rumors to be very disrespectful towards my fiancé.” Says a visibly tired Lee Hyomin.

Her fiancé is an YGEX executive whom she met while she was working in Japan last year. She has asked for privacy during this time while they are planning their nuptials.

Youngbae exchanged stern looks with Jiyong. The leader was also pacing the floor – not because of how he had been implicated in those rumors but because of Hyomin’s declaration of engagement.

“It was Gina! She had issued that statement before sending in both her resignation as well as Hyomin’s! The hospital confirmed that Hyomin was discharged yesterday but we can’t contact her!”

Seunghyun had long given up on getting hold of Hyomin. He had been calling Anri, Gina and Ryuji alternately, confident that at least one of them would be with Hyomin right now. He stopped only when Jiyong walked up to him and placed a hand on his arm.

“Hyung, she decided to leave because we can’t protect her. And she knows,” Jiyong said blankly. “We have endangered her life twice now, she probably didn’t want to wait around for the third time.”

Seunghyun clenched his fists and closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing to keep calm. He was glad that Hyomin had woken up, but not for her to disappear just like this. Even if he knew there was truth in what Jiyong had said, Seunghyun couldn’t accept that Hyomin would leave him behind.

Take anything from me but her… he prayed silently. Not when we’ve a whole life ahead of us. Please.

One Year Later

Seunghyun rinsed out his glass and checked the clock. It was almost noon and his manager was going to be here any minute now. He leaned against the kitchen counter for a minute, looking around at the apartment which he had moved in to. He had slowly furnished it back to look exactly as Hyomin had a year ago.

His phone was ringing but it wasn’t his manager. “Yeobuseyo, Tabi!” a sweet voice tinkled through the line. “You were so mean to just leave me in the hotel! Even if you didn’t want to bring me home, you could have stayed for breakfast.”

Seunghyun’s lips curled up slightly into a wry smile. “Noona, no one comes home with me. That’s my rule. And thanks for last night.” He cut the line just as his doorbell rang. It was his manager and he had to go.

Jiyong listened to the track again but he felt was still something lacking. Seated beside him, Teddy was getting restless after revising the song umpteen times. Still, the idol gave no feedback but said that the song had to be redone.

Teddy was ready to leave first and when his eyes met Youngbae’s, he sighed quietly and shook his head before leaving for the day. Seungri was checking his schedule for the next day and groaned when he suddenly recalled that he had a flight to Japan the next night.

“Let’s grab dinner,” Youngbae said, forcing out a cheerful smile. “It’s been a while since Seunghyun hyung called us out for a treat! I wonder where he’s taking us today…”

Jiyong sighed and swept all his belongings into his pack. He the leather notebook once more before stuffing it in as well. As they filed out of the studio, Jiyong swore he saw Ryuji hurrying into the elevator. Before he could react, sajangnim’s voice called out to him.

“Hyung! Was that Ryuji?” Jiyong asked urgently. Sajangnim pursed his lips and waved his question away. In his hand was a stack of papers – Japanese lyrics to some of their new songs. “Ryuji came to deliver his assignment. We have a new lyricist in Japan and here are the lyrics for recording next week. Go off now.”

At the restaurant, Daesung and Seunghyun were already waiting in their usual dining room. As they skimmed through the lyrics, something caught Seunghyun’s attention.

“The lyricist is Korean?” Seunghyun asked in bewilderment and Daesung leaned in for a closer look. True enough, it stated “Choi Seung Min” as the lyricist.

“Guy or a girl?” Seungri asked and Youngbae shrugged. “Can’t really tell. We can ask during the briefing.”

Jiyong sipped his wine and caught the weird look that fleeted across his hyung’s face. Seunghyun played with his glass and watched the wine twirl in his glass. “I wish I could ask too – a son or a daughter?”

Jiyong caught his hyung’s hand and gripped it tight. “Hyung,” he pleaded. “Let it go. It’s been a year.”

Ryuji avoided eye contact with the Big Bang members throughout the briefing. The Japanese lyrics were explained to them simply and the meeting was adjourned with little questions. Ryuji was one of the first to leave but Seunghyun caught up with him easily.

“Have you found her?” Seunghyun asked. Ryuji hesitated before shaking his head silently. As much as Seunghyun wanted to ask him more questions, other staff members were calling Ryuji over.

“Why can’t you get over her?” Ryuji turned back to ask. Seunghyun paused and looked up straight into his eyes. “Because I know I will find her – I just don’t know how long I’ll take.”

“What if she doesn’t want to be found?” Ryuji pressed. Seunghyun smiled sadly and looked down at his shoes. “Then she’ll have to break up properly with me. I think I deserve at least that much courtesy.”

Ryuji took a step closer but his name was once again called urgently.

“I need to go now but meet me at this place at 5p.m. today. It’s a little far but you should be able to find it.” Ryuji scribbled on a torn piece of note before shoving it into Seunghyun’s hand.