I just lay there in bed, I watched as the sun moved from being straight up high in the sky to slightly lower.  The earth was moving around the sun, but it felt like the sun was moving around me.  I had been laying here for about two hours now, and I really need to pee.  But I have nothing left in me.  I feel paralyzed to this spot.  The bed started vibrating, wait why is the bed vibrating.  I have to pee, it’ll come out if the bed doesn’t stop.  Wait that isn’t my bed, that’s my phone.  Who is calling me?  I pick up the phone and see it’s my manager.  The phone stops ringing, only to get another call coming in. My manager again.

“Hello?” I mumble.

“Where are you?  You know the deal was you can come back to Korea early if you finish putting the final touches on the album by this weekend?”  He screams at me.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I just uhm, jet lag you know?” 

“Okay, well get down here within the hour.”

“I will.”

“Go to the recording studio on the fifth floor, they will be waiting for you.”  Then he hung up.

I rolled out of bed, and even though I felt drained I mustered up the energy to run into the bathroom and let it go.  So when nature calls, that saying is true.  I have an hour, should I shower?  If I shower I am not washing my hair.  I put on my shower cap and jumped in the shower.  The hot water made me sleepy, I could stand in here forever.  But I had to get out.  I threw on some black skinnies and a grey crewneck that said dope.  I always put this on when I was in a bind.  Living in Korea met not seeing my friends back in California, not being able to talk to them.   So when I needed a certain friend, I carried a memento around of them.  I really needed my friends, maybe I can call them later.  My hair still had its curls, so I threw on a black beanie with a big fuzzy ball at the top.  I threw on black uggs grabbed my phone and purse and walked out the door. 

I had to take the bus today, I didn’t feel like driving.  If I drove who knows where I would have ended up, probably at the beach or somewhere faraway from Seoul.  The bus came to a stop in front of me and I got on.   I still wasn’t well known among everyone but the fact that I wasn’t Korean drew attention to me.  I wish the attention was from them knowing my music, not what I looked like.  I kept my head down and sat alone.  It was a thirty minute ride to get there.  I put in my headphones and began practicing in my head.  I had to record this song today, I needed to work.  I needed to concentrate. 

The bus pulled up to my stop and I got off, and basically ran into the building.  I was late, and my hour was almost up.  I ran to the elevator and saw that it was closing, I went stuck my arm in the middle.  It stayed open and I got in.  I pressed the button for the fifth floor and waited.  I was winded, I was so out of shape, I need to get back in the gym.  I got to the fifth floor and walked out and down the hallway.  I stood in front of the door to the recording studio and knocked three times before walking in. 

“Sorry, I’m late.  I was jetlagged.  I uh” I looked up and couldn’t finish my sentence because there in the room was Jay staring at me.  Along with my manager and Cha Cha. 

“Nice of you to join us.”  My manager said.  “Be careful, not everyone will let it slide when you’re late like Jay and Cha Cha.  Be more prompt!”  And then he walked out the room.

“Yea don’t be late.”   Jay snickered and turned to sit down.  “Warm up and get in there.”

“Why are you here?” I said.

“They didn’t tell you?  I am featuring on the track with you.  The big boss wants us to collaborate and then promote together.”  He looked at me with this intense glare.

I didn’t know what to say.  But I wasn’t going to let my personal life interfere with my career.  Jay had a great voice, and it would be good to collaborate together.  I have to.  I started to warm up and got in the recording booth.  This song was upbeat but not too upbeat, with an RnB feel to it.  It was about love, and how no matter what happened staying together.  The rap part was new, I read over it.  This was Jay’s part.  I know I did you wrong, but it shouldn’t matter.  We belong together forever and ever.  I know what I put you through wasn’t fair, but give one more chance and let me show you how much I care.  I couldn’t read anymore.  I looked up and he was looking at me.

I did my parts of the song, and took a break.  I sat down on the black leather couch in the back and drank my water.   Recording was hard especially with Jay there. 

“Hey Imma go get some food.”  Cha Cha said and left.

No, that means I’m alone in here.  With Jay.  He was getting his things together and about to come out of the booth.  Should I leave, I should leave.  I got up and opened the door, and as soon as I took one step.  I felt an arm on my elbow yanking me back in. 

“Where are you going?” he questioned.

I tugged my arm free.  “Somewhere.”

“Oh how specific.  You’re staying here.”

“No I’m not.”  And I turned to leave, but he pulled me back again and slammed the door shut.  I was in between the door and him, with his arm caging me in.

“Stop.” I said.

“Stop what?”  He leaned his head in to my neck and just nuzzled me there.  It felt amazing, but I didn’t want him to touch me.  His every touch sends me into a frenzy.  He looked up at me and his eyes softened up, for a second.  Then they went rock hard again and he dropped his arms.  He backed up.  I was free.  I turned and walked out.  What was that?  What is he doing?  I needed to talk to someone.  I looked down and my sweatshirt.  DOPE.  I needed to call Avi.