I want to be alone.  I don't want to go to Junhyng's place.  I don't want to see anyone, I just want to go home.  "I want to go home."

"We can go there if that's comfortable." Junhyung said as he put his hand on my knee.

"No, I want to be alone."

"You can't."

"Let me, I'll be fine I swear."

"But---"

"I won't do anything stupid, trust me.  I'm just so tired, and I got in late last night, and I need to think."

"I don't know."

"How about we go buy a whole bunch of food, and if I promise to eat it and wallow like you want me to."  I smiled and looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Ok, but you have to eat all of that food and give me details of howit feels to be a fatass."  He laughed, and then "But call me and let me know you're ok or if you need anything ok?  I'm here for you.

"I will.  I promise!  Thanks Jun".

***

Smile and wave so he think you're okay.  Deep breaths, and now turn.  I don't know what to do.  Once I get upstairs what will I do.  I don't know.  My heart feels like a dark whole, a big dark whole.  That is the life out of me.  It literally hurts lie it actually broke.  Is that even possible?  I thought people were just over doing it when they said it felt like their hearts were ripped apart.  Mine not only combusted, but it turned into a black hole.   Looking at the elevator numbers I pressed the 10th button.  Got to the tenth floor and walked over to room 1012.  Password to the door 0907.  That was the day we got together.  There are traces of him everywhere.

The door locked again, I can't walk in.  So many memories of him are in there, but I have to go in.  I need to.  The password needs to be changed, it reminds me of him.  What should I change it to.  How do I change it?  I can't stand out here all day.  Eventually the neighbors will start coming and going and notice me out here staring at my own door like a crazy person.  I'm a crazy person. I chuckled, yea I was crazy.  Crazy in love.

"0-9-0-7" I punched in the numbers and opened the door.  Take a deep breath, and in I go.  I tossed the bags of food on the floor as I bent over to take off my shoes.  That's when I noticed, a pair of slippers are missing, his pair of the couple set is missing.  And in place of them are some Nike's.  My heart is taking off at the fastest pace.  A minute a go my heart wasn't there, and now its racing like it was never gone.  He is here.  He is here.  No.

"Come in, its your place."  I heard him whisper.  I whipped my head up and there he was walking towards me.