He is coming towards me, with those eyes of his.  I see sadness, and hope in his eyes.  He is reaching out to me as he comes closer.  I feel suffocated, I feel like the air was knocked out of me.  I stood up straight and backed up.  But all it I did was bump into the door.  I looked down, my shoes were off and the amount of time it would take to put them on wasn’t enough.  I looked up, he was almost at me now.  I just have to turn around and leave.  But where will I go?  Barefoot?  This is my home, he is right in front of me.  Without a second thought I turn and pull on the door handle to get out, and I feel his hand on my elbow yanking me back.  He is stronger than me, and I try to pull my arm away and he just grips it tighter.  It hurts, his fingers digging into my skin.  He yanks me and pulls me around so that I am facing him.  My arm is beginning to bruise, I can feel it. 

“Let me go.” I grunt.

“No.”

“I said let me go!” and I try to pull my arm free and he pushes me against the wall and pins both my arms against the door behind me.

“If I let go, you’ll try to leave.”  He stares into my eyes, there is another emotion in there but I can’t read it.

I stare at him, his eyes hard and they seem like they are on fire.  His chest is less than a centimeter from mine, and his breaths are slow and long.  His nose is mere inches from mine.  His grip still tight.  I turn my head to the side, so that my hair would fall between us and hide my face from his view.  I don’t want to look at him, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve to look at me.  I stare at the piece of the floor, and everything is so silent that I can hear the clock ticking in the distance.

“Don’t do that.”  He whispers.  “Look at me.”

I don’t respond.  He lets go of my hands, and pushed my hair to the side with one hand and grabs my chin with the other.  He turns it so that my face is looking at his.   He lowers his head and puts it in my line of vision, I avert my eyes and he moves his head to follow.  Now is my chance.  I take both of hands and push him hard and run past him into my apartment.  It’s not like I can hide and he won’t find me.  I hear steps behind me.

“Just get out.  I don’t want to see you.”  I shout.  I turn and face him.

He stops, and I see pain shoot across his face.  He looks down, and then up.  His face is straight, and he has that look in his eyes again.  “We need to talk.”

“No we don’t, just get out of here Jay.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I want you out.  Out of my house, out of my life, OUT!” I scream.

He just stares at me.  He takes a step towards me.

“Don’t take another step!”  I take a step back.  “Who do you think you are, just showing up here like this?  What do you expect?  For me to sit down and talk?  Talk about what Jay?!  Okay fine lets talk Jay.  Since you’re such a conversationalist!”  I walk towards him, with my anger rising with every step. “What first?  Oh how about that girl?  Was she good Jay?  Was she worth it?  Did you have fun?  Oh I bet you did?  She was hot, wasn’t she?  Why don’t you go back home and call her?  Why are you here?”  I am up close to him now.  I push him, I push him hard.  “Come on Jay, talk.  Isn’t that why you’re here?  Talk Jay!  I said ing talk!.”  I start hitting his chest and pushing him.  “Me and you are done.  I never want to see your damn face again.”  Then he grabs my arms.  He yanks them to my side. 

“That’s enough.” He says.  Then he grabs my chin and kisses me.  I don’t respond.  I am shocked, and then when I realize what is happening I start pushing him away.  But his hands grab mine, and he walks me back and pushes me against a wall.  I don’t respond to this kiss.  He pulls away, and then goes for my neck, and I try to move.

“Get off me.” He doesn’t stop.

“You’re mine.”  He replies.  He starts whispering in my ear.  “Done?  Us?  Never.  You are mine.  You love me too much.  You can’t live without me, and I can’t live without you.  Don’t lie to yourself.  We are not done.”

His words ring in my head.  He lets go of my arms, and pulls me into his chest.  Now his arms are soft, and his chest warm.  He wraps one arm around my waist, and the other around my head patting my hair down.  “I love you, I’m sorry.” He murmurs.  “Please, I need you.”  My body slowly starts to relax.  I start crying and he just holds me.  He keeps murmuring into my ears about how much he loves and needs me.  Maybe I should give him a chance.  I don’t know what to do.  This isn’t okay.  I shouldn’t but I love him.  He is right.  I need him.