The sun crept into the room through the curtains and I felt the rays landing on my face.  It felt nice and warm, but I want to sleep.  I turned over, reaching for my body pillow when I hit something not so soft.  Wait, I look over and its Jay.  Everything that happened in the last twenty four hours just came back to me.  It wasn’t a dream, all of this is real.  Why is he in my bed?  I look down, my clothes are still on thank goodness.  I lift the covers, his pants are on but not his shirt.  What the hell is he doing in my bed.  The last thing from last night is me crying.  Did I cry myself to sleep?  And he stayed?  He wasn’t supposed to stay.  I didn’t give him an answer last night.  I don’t know what he is thinking.  Laying in my bed after he was in bed with another girl just yesterday.  But it feels like that was days ago.  Everything feels like a distant memory.  But first thing is first, I have to get out of this bed and away from him.  When he is near me I don’t know why but I am under his control.  He has a weird control over me, and the further I get from him the weaker it is.  He knows how he affects me, and last night is the perfect example.  I let him hold me.  I stopped fighting back.  I love him way too much, even though he hurt me so bad.  I need to get far away from him. 

I look at his face, he is still asleep.  He looks so peaceful.  I need to stop.  No, quit looking at him.  Just get up.  I turn to the right and slowly use my elbow to get up and as soon as I throw my legs around my elbow is grabbed.  He pulls me back, turns me over, and basically has me pinned down.  He is partially on me, weighing me down so I can’t move.  As soon as I look up at him, he drops his head into my neck and keeps it there.

“Let’s sleep for a little longer babe” he murmurs into my neck.

I tense up.  He used to always say this.  He never wanted to get up.  We would always stay in bed for as long as possible.  But that was then.

“Get off me.”  I replied.

“Five more minutes babe.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why?”

“I’m not your babe anymore.”

“Sure, and I can fly.”

“I said get off!” I begin to shift from under him, and then he locks his arms around my waste caging me between him and the mattress.

“Calm down.” He lifts his head and looks me in the eyes with a long hard stare.  Then he takes one of his hands and runs it along my face.  “Relax, I don’t like seeing you so tensed.  I said I was sorry last night.  Don’t you remember?  I made a mistake.  Give me a chance.  I can see it in your eyes.  You love me.  You want to stay with me.  Why are you fighting it?  Do you think you can be without me?  Do you really want to leave me?  I don’t want to leave you.”

“Get off me, and get out.”  I stare at him, and then look away.  I need to be strong.  I can’t be that girl.  “Would you stay with me, if I did that to you?”.

He doesn’t say anything.

“That’s what I thought.”

His eyes look so hurt and vulnerable for a short second, and then its gone.  His eyes are fierce.  “We aren’t over.  I’m always going to be around.”  He leans in for a kiss, I turn my head, it lands on my cheek.  He runs his hands along my face, resting his fingers on my lips.  Then he hugs me, and dips his head into my neck, and lands a kiss on my collarbone.  Then he gets off me.  He looks around for his shirt.  He finds it and throws it on.  “I’ll see you in the studio later.” And then he gets up and walks out.  I stay in bed.  I hear the door slam and he is gone.  For now, he is gone.

I touch my cheek and then my collar bone, the sensation still hasn’t changed.  His each touch still sends the most intense shocks through my entire body.  Now what, I don’t know what to do.