final  CHAPTER 

Few years later…

Baekhyun sighed as he looked up from the chopping board. He wasn’t used to being this tired while cooking. He figured that it must’ve been the lackluster atmosphere lately. Joonmyeon and Minseok have been spending a large portion of their time in the woods, training themselves and pushing harder to pick up what have been lost.

Time has been passing by with absolutely no worry, let me rephrase that – they simply do not care anymore. Returning to their lives before, before all this. Just that the pack is bigger and the house is larger. Despite it’s fullness, the emptiness is suffocating them and no one is willing to admit it.

And by admitting it, it means eventual death. Minseok confessed to him that sometimes in the night, he could hear wailing from the rooms beside his (Jongin, probably) crying out to the lost soul.

Baekhyun tried so hard to think that it was all a joke, but couldn’t bring himself to, not when he walked in on Yixing once holding onto a bottle of Wolfsbane. Needless to say, he had to drug Yixing to sleep that night and lock his whole shelf of medications and poisons.

Neither did it help that once on a trip down to the market he had lost the second eldest wolf. Sehun was absolutely frightened at the thought of Luhan walking into outside territory. They had spent the whole morning searching around town for the lost wolf. Baekhyun had never feared death as much as that day. He recalled earlier that day when Luhan volunteered to accompany him to the town market, there was so much emptiness in the elder’s eyes.

The usual shine detected in his eyes was gone, much like his smile. The happy aura that used to emanate from him is gone. It was as if his soul left the body, leave a shell of the former.

By nightfall, they found the elder standing outside a toyshop, unwavering. His eyes were focused straight on a toy resembling a baby deer. When Sehun laid a hand on his shoulder, Baekhyun could see a glimpse of the guy he used to be, unshed tears lingering on the edge. Sehun pulled him in for the hug, tucking Luhan’s head under his chin.

It was a comforting posture, and Baekhyun’s heart ached at the sight. He walked in and bought a toy Bambi for Luhan. It killed him more when he saw Luhan holding onto the toy in one arm and clinging onto Sehun’s arm with the other.

The guy who was once the elder, had turned into the child of the youngest.

++

It was midnight when Tao had woken up from his slumber. The nightmares have worsened over the years and it didn’t help that every time he tries to ignore it, it seems to rob him of his memories. He tries to remember everything of the past, but nothing was willing to cooperate. All he could remember was the subtle laughter and warm cuddles, and nothing. A blank canvas for him to discover.

He rubbed his eyes, covering his face with the palms of his hands, as if the warmth would transfer to his face, waking him up. He guessed it was around 3am in the morning right now. (He’s right anyways) As he stared up at the ceiling, he could see a glimpse of his memories, a young boy, whose eyes were as large as the moons and smile as bright as the stars, staring right back at him. But no matter how hard he tries, he only sees the stick on glow-in-the-dark stars and moons staring right back at him, mocking him.

He couldn’t understand why the stars were stuck there. He speculated that someone had stuck it there, knowing he had a great fear of vast emptiness. It’s not that he doesn’t want to find out, he really does! But every time he tries to ask his hyungs about it, they either get all emotional or just give him a hug.

He pretends not to hear how Chanyeol once told Jongin that there have been tons of broken people in this household since that day. He pretends not to hear how Yixing have been giving him insomnia pills to prevent him from ever having nightmares of that day. He tries to pretend that he is okay, but he isn’t.

Because Zitao knows, if he were to stop the pills, if he were to find out, if he was to ever leave the house, the pain that hits him will kill him.

He leaves the rest, cuddling into Luhan who is playing with the toy Baekhyun bought for him.

And he tries not to hear how Sehun calls them, “the Broken Pile”.

It was midnight when Ziao had woken from his slumber. It was the first time he had recognized the half moon. Usually their kind would have been more sensitive to the moon phases, but lately they aren’t. To them, the full moon is just another full moon, much like the new moon.

Turning towards the window, he caught a glimpse of the moon shining brightly back at him. He remembers that Yifan and Yixing had chosen this area when they first started as a separate pack as it is nearer to the moon. Hence, the DarkMoon and MoonStone pack. But he also remembers that on this day something tragic happened.

He got up from his bed and hopped out of the window, landing gracefully on the turf below. The muscles have been tense, but it wasn’t long before they got into a familiar routine of expanding and contracting. Tao ran as fast as he could towards the moon, as if it is pulling him in and captivating him whole. He can’t figure out why in the world he is running towards it, but if it can give him the answer he needs he is willing to risk it all.

He stops himself just in time before he falls into the lake, feet digging right into the soil beneath his him. It was different from what he remembered, if he even had any ideas of it. The absent drug in his system made his senses heightened, giving him the ability to feel what felt familiar. And the soil he steps on feels familiar, like it has been soft this whole time.

He took a seat near the rocks by the lake, watching the reflection of the moon ripple on the surface. He took a pebble and tosses it, watching it skips along the surface. Once, twice, thrice, plop!

He notices a faint figure appearing on surface, far off in the distance. Now, he isn’t an advocate of any religion or anything (since they are wolves and it is sort of a sin to every religion there is), but he swore with his eyes that the figure is standing on the surface.

A familiar figure, illusion maybe, of a small boy standing far off in the distance. Zitao felt chills going down his spine, there was something really familiar about the boy, whose eyes were large enough to compete with the moon behind him and lips smiling wide to him. He feels like he knows him.

When the boy opened his mouth, he heard his name being called out. He heard the laughter he once heard. He heard the comforting words from the boy of the same voice.

But most of all, he heard himself saying something he knew for a long time. Before the large rush of memories came to him and blacking him out.

“Kyungsoo.”

The fireflies accompanied him that night, like the boy he once remembered used to.

++

Minseok was in the office helping Yixing clear up the mess. The town people had been rebuilding their lives after the fall of the demon wolf. It was after his fall that they found out he has been residing with the TwoMoons pack, the pack that oversee the town and its activities.

It was havoc when they’ve heard the news – protest and arguments, fights and vices broke out. They were common, but the scale was unheard of. It took them months to persuade them that the lost wolf was gone for good and he had never meant any harm. They were skeptical -- sure, I mean everyone would be. But they saw the eye bags beneath their leaders’ eye and they know, they’ve suffered more than the town itself.

Slowly, the voices are reduced, but the towns people itself were afraid. Their leaders weren’t as strong as they have always been and they aren’t sure if they are strong enough to look after them anymore.

Minseok heard Yixing heave a great sigh before offering him some honey infused tea to calm him down. After spotting Yixing holding onto the poison the other day, as the eldest his nerves have been on the edge, afraid that one day the alpha would take his life and end his misery.

Yixing merely smiled at his hyung and pat him on the head.

Minseok hates that, but he never voiced it out. Especially if such actions were to make the alpha happy again, he would.

Baekhyun called out from the kitchen, signaling that dinner is ready. Minseok placed the documents in Yixing’s hands down on the desk nearby and occupied them with his. He decided that if Yixing needs to be occupied, he as the eldest should help.

Yep, he figured he should if he could see his dear alpha smile once more.

Upon reaching the dining table, Yixing saw the table filled with luxurious food. Much more than what they could, recently, eat. He never commented on it, he figured it should be like this, considering that the half moon is out. He looked around, eying the other end of the long table where his brother would be.                                  

He isn’t. And Yixing is confused.

He turns towards Jongin, tapping the younger and asking where Yifan was. “I’m not sure, he wasn’t in his room when we called him.”

Taking quick successive steps, Yixing walked towards his brother’s door, knocking on it, “Hyung, you there?” twisting the door knob and taking hesitant steps in. He noticed the room was messy, save for the bed that appeared to be untouched. He reckoned that his brother had left it there, remembering about the younger form and their times together.

A chill passed by him and he turned towards he source. Curtains fluttered against the threshold and Yixing figured that his brother went out for a breather. Letting himself morph into his wolf form, he made his way out of the window and landing on the ground below. Trusting his senses, the wolf led himself through the scent of his brother. He took his time to trek through the forest, taking in every scent and every lush of the forest he once took comfort in.

Yixing found Yifan sitting by the lake, the same position he remembered someone used to sit to. He changed back into his human self, making as little noise as he can without Yifan noticing. It didn’t work anyways.

Yifan remain unmoving, speaking softly, “Yixing ah”.  The younger cursed at himself for being foolish and forgetting that Yifan could trace his scent too. He walked towards Yifan and sat himself next to him, staring out into the vast space with the moon shining brightly in front.

He twisted his head a little, staring at his brother with concern from his peripheral vision. He didn’t want to give any sort of pity, Yifan was strong and he doesn’t need any pity. But this was a Yifan whose façade was pulled down, far from the strong guy he always known. And maybe it is this Yifan had needs a hug too.

“Kris hyung..”

Yifan flinched at that name. Rarely did anyone know his birth name, much less call him like that. The last time someone did, he died with his love. He tries so hard not to break down, but like everything, they are bound to break and so did Yifan.

When Yixing brought Yifan into his arms and held him tightly, Yifan could not do anything more than to tuck himself deeper into his younger brother’s embrace and cry.

He cried for the hard wall that he allowed for it to break. He cried for the boy who managed to break it down. He cried for the memories that were gone, together with the boy who left. Most of all, he cried because the person who he had loved could never love him for eternity.

Yixing had never heard his brother cry in a long time and watching him this broken just killed him. “Cry, just cry. I promise it’ll be all better.”

And so it did. Yifan found solace in his brother’s arm, like how the reverse had always done. He allowed Yifan to cry just once, and just once he would hold his brother in his arms. Because crying doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just means that you have been strong for too long.

Yifan’s tears have been reduced to silent sniffing. Yixing gave him a light pat on his head before tilting his head up and wiping away the trails of what was there. The sun had already set and Yixing figured its time for them to go.

“Hyung, let’s go have dinner now.”

He held his brother’s hand like how Minseok had for him.

Because no matter how strong you are by yourself, it’s good to have someone with you. And Yifan is thankful for TwoMoon to be there for him.

When the brothers came back to the house, they were greeted with laughter and scolding from some. Luhan was laughing at something both Chanyeol and Sehun were talking about. Jongdae complimenting Baekhyun’s cooking, and getting hit after saying that he would make a great househusband. Jongin was running around the house catching Zitao, who stole the last piece of chicken left on the main table.

The brothers stifled a laugh before joining the rest of the table.

Maybe tonight was a good night after all.

++

Wrong. All of this is wrong!

Jongdae threw the score sheets down on the floor. He hasn’t been able to sing well, not after that day. He tried to get himself back on track with singing, but it failed when his voice either cracks at the notes or it would end up flat. He tried, he really did! But no one else’s voice is able to complement his, able to pair with his or even able to match with his.

Jongdae groaned for the umpteenth time as he tried to reach for the note, but he failed once more. Never has he been unable to reach the note, and it’s not the first time he has been unable to. Jongdae had never felt so defeated in his life. Singing has been his everything, when he was a little pup and when he was accepted into the MoonStone pack. When he first met Kyungsoo, and the last time he met Kyungsoo.

It was raining especially hard that day, Jongdae remembered. They stood at the tombstone in their blacks, head to toe with the absence of any smiles and emotions. Everyone was absolutely devastated, and standing by this tombstone seemed to be the most oxymoronic situation anyone could’ve ever been in.

Bang Minah had made a big hoo-ha about losing Kyungsoo, saying how “he was too young to die” or that they “never got a chance to get married and have children.” Jongdae eyed Chanyeol cautiously, sending him a warning glance to not pounce on the girl and bite her neck off. Chanyeol shunned away quietly from her to cling onto Jongdae.

Geunyoung, on the other hand, had no intention of listening to her childish whines and growled at her to shut up. And she did. Geunyoung laid her stalk of white lilies down on the soil and gave her short message.

“Kyungsoo ah. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been a good cousin to you. You’re gone now but I want to thank you. Thank you my dear cousin, who have spent your earlier years with me and even your last few moments. Thank you, for being so strong even when others say you’re weak. Thank you for proving to me that love goes beyond all boundaries.

I hope you are in a better place right now, considering that you left in the most unexpected way. But I hope you know that we love you and mourn for you even after you’re gone. And I hope that if we were to meet again, you would welcome me with open arms like how we always used to.

I’ll stay strong, so please my cousin in Heaven, take care of them.”

Jongdae didn’t notice that he was crying until he felt something blocking his view. He initially thought it was the raindrops getting into his eyes, but after much rubbing, he knew it was tears.

No one else had the ability to survive through the ordeal to give their speech, but Jongdae decided it would be proper to have a goodbye song. A song that Kyungsoo once commented that h