You yelped as your cat stepped on your stomach. “Don’t do that!” You scolded while instinctively curling up in a ball on the couch to protect your stomach. You were wearing a plain grey sweatshirt and had been wearing sweatshirts frequently for the past few weeks, regardless of the weather, because you had to hide the growing bump from him. But it was still getting bigger and you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer. It was time to go-even if you didn’t want to.

                Thinking back, you realized how gloomy of a day it had been when you found out. Rainy, dreary. Maybe it had been a sign. You had been experiencing symptoms of pregnancy, but had prayed there was another explanation for them. However, as time wore on, you had no choice but to take the test to be sure. The test confirmed your fears. You were pregnant. At first it was a crushing blow. You cried, you punched the wall in frustration, all the time thinking it can’t be, it can’t be. Unfortunately, there was no running from the hard truth and the consequences of your actions. After a few days passed and you began to accept the truth, you knew you had to tell him and wanted to. Now you were forced to go.

Originally, you hadn’t planned on leaving. You had wanted to share this with him and thought he’d be happy. Or at least accepting. Sure, the two of you were only dating, but you had been for a long time and it was a serious relationship. Sure, he was a well-known idol and had thousands of fan girls that could kill you, but he and his company were experts at keeping secrets and keeping others safe. It would be okay, you had told yourself. Looking back, maybe you had just been fooling yourself to feel better about the situation.

You were waiting backstage of a show he was being interviewed on, half-heartedly watching the broadcast. Your hands were shaking so you clasped them tightly to try and stop it. He didn’t know you were there-you had wanted to surprise him. Then you heard the interviewer say something about children, and your attention snapped to the television. “Do you plan on children anytime and settling down?” The woman asked with a smile.

“Settle down maybe,” Your love sat relaxed in his chair, “but no kids. I don’t plan on any of those for years. Right now, it would simply be detrimental to my career. I don’t need a distraction like that right now or anytime soon.”

The whole world had seemed to fade away around you. He had just said, in a semi-arrogant, serious voice that he didn’t want kids. That it would just harm his career and be a distraction!

Your mouth had gone dry and you had felt suddenly dizzy. Running out of that room as fast as you could and straight to nowhere, you had tears streaming down your face. A glance across the street had his face plastered on an advertisement, but you didn’t want to see it. You didn’t want to see his face, hear his voice, feel his touch, or any of it! He had just rejected you. Rejected you and his baby.

That brought you up to now. Granted there had been a lot of tears, lying, and the best acting you could manage on your part, but you had no choice. He couldn’t know. And now, you had to run. Being the fan girl at heart you were, you were not going to ruin his career. Ever. Even if it meant abandoning the love you two had created, even if it meant never seeing him again, you had to do it. There was no choice.

Version 1 (he finds out)

Version 2 (he doesn’t find out)