‘Your total is nineteen fifty-six’

‘Your total is nineteen fifty-six’

That voice rings in his head even after he reaches the apartment and unlocks the door, he must look terrified because young Bae asks him what’s wrong. Ji Yong raises his eyes to look at Young Bae only to come face to face with eight or so people. He forgot. 

“Nothing, hi everyone” he smiles at them although; his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He leaves the food on the counter and heads to his room. 

‘Have a nice day’

The casher’s voice keeps repeating in his head and the more it does the more certain he becomes that it’s his band leaders' voice. The smirk on the casher’s lips and the slight amusement in his eyes as he greeted him goodbye further confirms it. He pulls his t-shirt over his head and changes into a tank top. he is ed. 

Back in the apartments small living room he is greeted by his friends. Calling them his friends is a stretch, Young Bae’s friends. they're pleasant even though, Ji Yong has never been close to them. Dona is there talking to Daesung and his girlfriend. Ji Yong approaches them with a small but sincere smile. it’s easy to join the conversation since it’s about music. 

“aren’t you the former member of  Ji Yong’s band?” Dona asks Daesung .

Daesung tenses and turns to Ji Yong for help. His eyes tell him that he can answer however he pleases.

“He is” Ji Yong says, “I’m his replacement. He sings amazing.”

Daesung flushes at the compliment. His girlfriend however still has a frown on her face. 

“Why did you leave?” Dona inquires not changing the topic and Ji Yong kinda wants to know too. 

Daesungs girlfriend however doesn’t let him answer  “he moved on to better things right Dae?” she says as she pushes her glasses back . 

Dae looks at his girlfriend then to Dona, “she doesn’t mean that. The band was good, amazing even but, we weren’t going in the same direction. Now that I’ve seen them perform with Ji Yong I can see that they work well together. It’s like they were always a band, and I have no regrets.”

“He’s in another band now as vocals.” His girlfriend adds as she runs her hand through her hair. 

Ji Yong's curiosity gets the best of him so he asks, “what band? If you’re going to be in it I should go cheer you on.”

“The dark angels, they recently lost two of their members. They're still trying me out though. They used to be pretty big around here and were the bands biggest competitors back when I was a part of it.”

Ji Yong's smile falters a little. “Yeah; I don’t know how the band will feel about it but I’ll definitely go see you someday. How is Jae doing?” He asks before he can stop himself.

“He’s good, just a little stressed.”

Bae makes his way back and wraps an arm around Dona, "sandwiches are ready guys" he says as he hands one to Dona. Ji Yong takes the opportunity to make an escape. His hands tremble a bit as he walks to the counter and grabs a sandwich. Today was full of surprises. He looks around, grabs a beer and decides to sit and watch football with Young Bae's athletic friends. At this point it seems like the safest place to be. unfortunately, he finds it isn't so when he loses a bet but, betting when he doesn't watch or know much about football probably wasn't the greatest idea he's ever had.

<}{><}{><}{><}{><}{><}{>

"Ji Yong!" Seungho voice makes his heart jump. Practice had been canceled for a few days and Ji yong is thankful. He's been avoiding the band. Even when Seungho invited him for drinks he said no.  He turns with a forced smile already etched onto his face.

"We have practice tonight night. Don't forget.  TOP has a new song."

Before Ji Yong can get an ok out, Seung ho disappears into the math building.

TOP probably hasn't said anything. Then again maybe he has and it’s a trick. There's also the chance it's not him. It’s torture Ji Yong decides. He's being tortured. He thought he had it easy with practice being canceled. But now he thinks it would have been better to get this over with days ago. Instead he's reduced to a puddle of nerves. He's so nervous he can’t focus in class so he leaves early.

It's when he gets to practice and he meets the same dark eyes he met at the supermarket that he loses his . It’s flight of fight and Ji Yong choses flight. He runs away from his unmasked leader. He isn't ready to face this. 

"He's at a park when his phone starts ringing.  He doesn't answer knowing its Seungho. He sits at the swing set watching this girl make faces at him for using the only swing that isn't torn or crooked. When she gets that he isn't moving she moves on to the slide with the other kids.

Once  the sun is completely down he opens his phone and reads his messages. All but 3 are from Seungho asking where he is at and if he's going to make it to practice. The other three are Soo Hyuk.

Seungho told me to tell you he's mad

Seungho says never mind, TOP explained you had to go

And lastly,

Leader says you forgot the lyrics have them memorized before next practice

Ji Yong shuts his phone and let's out a heavy sigh. Whatever comes next maybe he can avoid it forever.

The way back is longer than he expected. He had been so pumped on adrenaline that he hadn't even noticed how far he'd gone. It's about eight when he gets home. 

Seungri is up on his feet as soon as Ji Yong turns to face him. Ji Yong considers walking right back out but then the sheet in his hand makes him change his mind. 

"Hey, I've been waiting since practice was over." 

“sorry I had to walk " ji Yong answers as he approaches Seungri.

"Whatever, I've got to go leader told me go make sure you get this."

He lifts the paper to Ji Yong, “he’ll go over the sound with you at practice so make sure you’re there this time." 

He gets up and Ji Yong watches as he shuts the door behind him.

All the lyrics but seven lines are marked with his name. The title is window and the lyrics are simple and repetitive. It's a good bye song. He thinks it a joke. That the leader is playing with his head. Why would he want Ji Yong to sing this song?

.......

The next day Ji Yong waits till his class is finished. He needs to talk to TOP before the band meets again.

So, he heads to the same supermarket he was at days ago. He walks in confidently willing to get this over with. After 10 minutes of wondering around he doesn't spot him. He would ask any employee but he doesn't know TOPs real name. Instead he stays by the backroom in hopes that he'll come out. 

When he does see him it is when he's coming into the store. He waits by the back room as TOP approaches.

"TOP" Ji Yong says halting the other in his steps. There's a slight hesitation before the other turns.

“It’d be good if you didn't call me that here."

Ji Yong cringes he hadn't thought about that, "sorry," he eyes the others name tag, "Seung Hyun. I need to talk."

"I don't think now is a good time. I'll be out at about six today."

Then he just walks away. Ji Yong's irritation surfaces; is he expected to wait hours just so he can speak to TOP.

As unreasonable as he knows it is he does just that. he crosses the street and sits in the coffee shop waiting and takes out the lyrics he was told memorize. Although the lyrics are simple there’s a peculiar feel to them. It’s more than a gloomy feeling which Ji Yong doesn’t mind but, if they are playing this at the bars and clubs Ji Yong doesn’t know how the audience will react to it. as time passes by the paper is folded in half and placed on the table. He recites it in his head until a hand is waved in front of him disrupting him from the song. its barely four but the band leader is sitting in front of him.

“I see you’ve been memorizing the lyrics,” his eyes raise from the sheet on the table to Ji Yong, “good.”

“good” Ji Yong repeats under his breath confused.

“yes, that way I can let you listen to the audio sample and we can get that out of the way.”

“I don’t understand. Didn’t you see me in the store the other day?”

“yes,” there’s a pause that Ji Yong doesn’t know how to fill. But Seung Hyun does it for him. “I don’t really care, it wasn’t as surpising as you might have thought it was."

for a moment Ji Yong is rendered speechless. TOP doesn't care. He's been dreading speaking to the man since he decided to search for him and the man doesn't care.

" what about the others?" Ji Yong asks. 

"I don't think you're  aware of how open minded the band is. They seem to like you a lot, especially Seungri and seungho. Soo Hyuk hasn't  complained and that's a first considering we tried a few others before you. Seungho, seungri, and Soo Hyuk wouldn't care but even so, If your question is if I said anything, then, no I did not. This is for you to tell if you want. However if you do chose to say anything to them just know that they' would still look at you the same. As part of the band, and after  lasting this long  you're probably already seen as family.

Guilt surged within Ji Yong.  he was being told by the leader, that the band thought of him as family, that they could easily look beyond his uality if he chose to disclose it, yet Ji Yong had made a deal with the devil a few months back. While they though Ji Yong was there to stay, Ji Yong was using them. 

  "Let's go, we can we can go through the music." TOP stood before Ji Yong's mind could catch up.

"what?"

"Let's go"

" don't you have work. you're  not supposed to be out until six. Aren't you going back?"

" I was working till six but, I realized you were waiting. I assumed you would go home and then come back but you didn't. By the time I looked over and realized you were at the cafe you had already been here for quite a while so, I asked if I could go early."

" oh" Ji Yong realized how truly stupid it was of him to have waited hours when he could have gone home and then came back. He got on his feet ," sorry"

" we're going to have to stop somewhere before we go to our practice room, I hope you don't mind."