………………

 

"So you're still going after they kicked out Daesung. "

 

Ji Yong had been hearing this for the last three hours. It just continued pouring out of his friend youngbae's mouth. He can't tell him to shut up though since this is his house.

 Ji Yong's mother probably didn't want to see him, and he wasn't to eager to go home either. Since as long as he can remember he was in the dorms of his schools. The only difference now was that he couldn't afford the  dorms in college. Bae never complained about ji Yong practically moving In and ji Yong was glad.  He was lucky to even be in college through scholarships. Needless to say he hadn't been home for a few months, when his noona asked; his excuse was that Young Bae was closer to the college even though, his own house was just an hour away in the uglier side of town.

  

"Come on, Ji it's Daesung the nicest guy I know " 

 

" yeah, I'm sure, besides I asked Daesung before I tried out he  said it was fine. Daesung and I aren't even that close, I need to get out there, and they are known around here, Bae. Besides maybe I'll make a couple of bucks."

 

" but I'm friends  with him, come on Ji Yong, you don't fit their style. They're more rock themed. Your more pop,  rap and some r&b."

 

Ji yong let out a small chuckle, youngbae hadn't been to any bar in about 9 months, meaning he hadn't heard them since Daesung was kicked out. But he was right.

 

" young Bae I can't back out now, and yes they are more rock themed that's why I'm back up vocals if they were looking for a lead singer I would have walked away even with that four minute stage. plus they have mellowed out some in the last months. Besides if they picked me, I shouldn't be too bad."

 

" do you even know what their band name is?" Young Bae looked at him skeptically 

 

" 'Big Mouthed s?"

 

youngbae smiled, " no, I pretty sure that's what their anti fans, call them. You don't even know their name and I think You know I know why you're really going there. You have your own style, you're own way of doing things, just think things though about your music and personal matters."

 

" it doesn't matter  youngbae just focus on that 4 minute stage for me, you don't have to come. Just be a good friend and support me ."

" fine I'll go but only because you're begging me too, besides what are the chances he'll be there last time you talked about him he seemed to come and go as he pleases and only performs there when he wants to ."

Ji Yong raised an eyebrow at his friend and shook his head. He continued running his Hand through his blond hair as he thought about what his friend just said, what are the chances he will be there tonight. he ran his fingers through his hair one last time and smiled at how outraged his friend had been at the sight. He almost demanded that ji Yong shave it off but unexpectedly it looked good.  he wore Leather jeans that clinged tight to his legs and a black sleeveless shirt opened to his waist at the sides under a leather jacket. 

 "Come on Bae " ji Yong hollered as he tighed his black boots on. It was annoying to him when he had to wait, it was always the other way around and he hated to have a taste of his own medicine. Minutes later Young Bae stumbled out and slipped his snickers on.

 

" ready," he said and so they left.

 

....……….………

 

The stage was being set with drums and guitar cords and the keyboard. Ji Yong was excited. This would be his first performance besides the talent shows during his high school and middle school festables but those didn't count. Of course he hadn't told the band about this. I little panic rose in him as he thought that his song might not be the audiences cup of tea. He hadn't even thought to ask for opinions from the band before he decided on this song.   

 

Someone griped his shoulder and ji Yong flinched at the contact. It was seungho the drummer

 

" don't worry about it we all get nervous. So what're  you planning for your stage do you need a drummer?. "

 

" thanks but just this," ji Yong said with a smile as he lifted Up his guitar.

 

" sure bro just relax all right."

 

" two minutes, ji Yong get ready to go on stage and  remember no more than those 4 minutes for your song."

 

Ji Yong stepped onto the wooden stage people rushed around ordering drinks and finding tables. No one actually payed attention to the first performance ji Yong knew that, they were always too busy getting ready for their favorites to perform and they always saved the best for last. 

 

Ji could hear his boots cluck onto the wood and he was sure he was the only one aware of it, people sat at the tables chatting and ji Yong cleared his throat into the microphone just before he sat on the bar stool  hoping to get the crowds attention. 

 

" hello" he said now with more than a dozen eyes on him, " my name is ji Yong and it's my first performance here, I will be playing a song titled That Bastard, I wrote it for my unrequited love I hope you enjoy it. Please take care of me. "

 

Ji Yong hesitated a little before adjusting the microphone and guitar, he was hoping that that would give enough time for more people to settle down but he knew that he was gong to have to earn this crowd.  

 

He is Unaware of the masked man  Staring from back stage asking his friend who he is. But it doesn't matter this is only for tonight. 

 

 Without another thought he closed his eyes and took a deep breath letting his mind go. Reciting the song he knew by heart at this point, only opening his eyes to hit the right cord and look at the crowd. Not only for their reaction but for a certain someone. That someone he didn't spot but his heart threatens to give away to his nervousness anyways, even without the man in the crowd.   The peoples eyes are  on him but they are dead silent. He finished his song  right cords and notes and trying to convey the emotion he feels to them but still there is silence.

 

He  bowed but refused to look up he shouldn't have picked such a mellow song for this crowd. Scratch that;he should have known this song was to mellow to be an opening. He just wanted to stand out and put himself aside from the band he was to perform with next.  Before he could turn to walk off stage he heard a whistle and he smiled and knew without looking up he still had young Bae. One clap became two and soon everyone was applauding for him. It filled his stomach with butterflies when he looked up and he realized he had gained the crowds full attention, good or bad. He smiled and waved before walking back stage.

 Once he was off stage. He was yanked to the side.

"TOP is here, we need to talk afterward but for now you need to get your out there again." Seungri took his acoustic guitar and his jacket before pushing him out with the band. After that it was a blur of happiness and excitement. They played songs it didn't matter that he was back up singer to a masked man with a marvelous deep voice whom he had never seen or met. all that mattered was that he was enjoying himself.

 

...…………

 

 The crowd cheers and this time he hears his name being chanted along with the rest of the band. It may not be as loud as the screeching sceams of 'TOP' or 'soo hyuk' but people were screaming his name.  Next thing ji Yong knew he was being given manly hugs back stage by the band. He was so high on this experience he could barely understand seungri as he pulled him aside

" ji Yong" he was shaking him now, " listen do you write rock songs, you'll be a great part of this band, the crowd they loved you." 

That was enough to snap ji Yong out of his daze, " I-  sorry, seungri this was a one time deal I never intended to be a part of this band I made that clear. "  

"I know but, at least talk to TOP about it."

 Ji Yong was given no time to speak as he was pulled to another room. He went inside and as he sat down others left. There in front of him was a masked figure. It didn't help calm his nerves that it was dim.  He trembled when the man spoke. He had no problem performing along side him but right now in this dim room if he didn't know any better he'd think he was about to make a deal with the devil. 

 

" I think you have been told by seungri that the band wants you in."

Ji Yong nodded not knowing if he should speak. 

" personally I don't know, your hair and clothing are different. And isn't that shirt to revealing your image doesn't fit your music."

ji Yong laughed before he could stop himself. 

" says the man who doesn't even show his ankles, besides doesn't Seungho wear no shirt on or off stage."

" point made", the man said, " I still don't know if your music fits with us. Your song sounded a bit insincere your image too. "

Ji Yong didn't like the way this was going. He didn't even want to be in the band but he would not take someone calling his music insincere, " why?" 

" I don't know ."

" you call my music and image Insincere but you're the one who hides yourself. "

 

" what's there to see, they're listening to my music not my image some thing i think you are trying to sell. I don't do it for fame I Do it for music. once I'm out of here I could be anyone. why are you here?" 

 

 

if this man wanted him to be sincere he would be, " I admit that I came for the exposure, for those few that will leave today with my name on their tongue you say that you don't sell your image but women lust over you, why do you think that is? I'll tell you They listen to every word because you're  a mystery, a fantasy to them, beneath it all they think you're good looking. The thing is you could be the opposite,  who is the insincere one now?" 

 The man sat back and although ji Yong couldn't see he was sure  he was being looked over carefully  " we both are, you just admitted your reason for being here wasn't music but exposure. your song sounded insincere.  At times it sounded like you made last minute changes. your image, I can't say it's not you because it just might be. As for me I go around hiding myself for a selfish reason. I could be a monster underneath this after all. "

 

" I don't know about that but, it was never my intention to join this band."

 

"I could have guessed differently by your responses." 

 

" you misunderstood I just don't like my music being called insincere."

 

" I simply say as I hear." Ji Yong could read the indifference and coolness in his tone.

 

" I may have an insincere image and intentions for being here. It isn't all about music for me as you claim it is for you. But that doesn't make my music insincere."

 

Ji Yong got up to leave his excitement had turned bitter. And just as he opened the door the man spoke, " the offer is still there the band wants you, if you change your mind inform seungri." Ji Yong shut the door behind him 

 

" ji Yong your friend is here!" 

 

 Young Bae embraced ji Yong in a many hug, " that was unexpected ji Yong, I hadn't even heard that song. You had hardcore chicks try'n not to cry! There was an excited tone to his voice but. Ji Yong could sense the underlying hint of sadness underneath . Ji Yong could tell his friend missed singing. He had quit for his parents who expected him to become something 'real'. That's the price you had to pay when you had decent, well of parents. Ji Yong could do what ever he wanted. He had no one to disappoint only his noona. His mother wasn't exactly a Role model but that didn't mean he didn't want to help her out, he just wanted to do it his way.

 

 Ji Yong took photos with a few chicks and was invited to a party not far from the place but declined. For all it was worth even with the not so pleasant talk with the leader of the band ji Yong enjoyed the night. He enjoyed it a lot which surprised him. He had expected to dislike singing with the other three but the excitement of it all made him happy and the fifty dollars made it that much more enjoyable. Ji Yong had to remind himself that they are  only kind when they like you or need you. If ji Yong were to join in on 'the band'  who's to say he won't end up like Daesung. Besides he's annoyed with having no name for "the band" and he makes it a point to ask seungri later when he refuses his offer again. Seungri is one stubborn man. 

 

Ji Yong is literally shoved out of his thoughts and into the wall. 

 

" what is it you want? Are you happy now?"