There’s a bit of angst, just bear with it <3

Wednesday.

That’s how long Seunghyun waits until he can’t take it anymore. It’s night time and he’s stretched out across his bed, daughter tucked into his side and snoring like a trooper, he’s holding his mobile out in front of him with a thumb hovering over the call button. Every time he’s got the chance Seunghyun’s staring at the number, wondering whether to call him and then deciding not to because you know you can’t look too desperate.

But it’s midweek now so Seunghyun thinks it’s perfectly safe, Jiyong won’t think he’s desperate, and it’s not too far away from Saturday so it should be obvious that Seunghyun’s still interested, right?

“God I have no idea.” Seunghyun huffs in defeat. He glances down at his beautiful daughter, watching the way she snores with wide open, head falling with every exhale - it’s about time her daddy did something for himself. She’s been driving him insane ever since the wedding with all of her maddening questions (maddening because Seunghyun has no answers for her) of course the main question is “When will I see the nice blonde man again?” And with every question Yuna just gets a smirk then a change of topic for a reply.

Nice blonde man indeed.

So Yuna wanted to see Jiyong again - that must be a good sign. He presses the call button and the nerves suddenly build up so much that when Seunghyun’s met with a voicemail request he sighs and feels sick.

“Do I speak now? Dami? Oh hello! This is Jiyong’s phone, Jiyong’s mobile, you know Jiyong’s thing you call people on- er- I’m not there, well here, right now so… if you want to… you can leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Thanks a bunch, do I press the red button now? Dami?” Seunghyun laughs at the very long winded message and even though it’s just voicemail he smiles because the sound of Jiyong’s voice simply overpowers him with feelings of the fuzzy kind. Then Seunghyun realises that voicemail is recording his message, which right now consists of him just giggling, so he tries to talk.

“Um, hi. It’s Seunghyun, from the… the wedding, your d- I mean the damsel in distress, um. I was sorting through my TV Guides and I found this curious number so… so I figure I’d call it and see what happens, I guess, well… I’ve discovered the magic of voicemail, um. If you could, I don’t know, call me back or something when you’re not too busy we could chat or something? Um. Yeah, hopefully I’ll speak to you soon. So… yeah. Bye.” Seunghyun hangs up, rests his phone on the bedside table, and sighs.

What a doofus.

“I wouldn’t call me back.” He talks to himself, it’s a quirk of his.

“I would” A little voice answers. Seunghyun looks down to the voice and turns onto his side, snuggling down to meet his daughter’s sleepy face.

“Did I wake you up?” She nods. “Sorry baby girl, let’s just go back to sleepies” He kisses her brow and envelopes her within a heartfelt embrace.

“But Daddy…” Yuna protests trying to wriggle out of her father’s grip, “I love you and everyone else should.” Seunghyun can’t help but smile at his little girl and her sweet logic, he rolls onto his back taking her with him.

“I wish it was that easy honey, now come on sleep.” He sort of orders in a roundabout way because he knows that they need as much sleep as they can get before tomorrow, what happens tomorrow you ask well you’ll find out soon enough.

“Why isn’t it that easy?” Yuna asks, brains as well as brawn, Seunghyun wonders how such a wonderful child is his and it’s completely mindboggling.  He tries to think of an answer which isn’t so deflating. “Appa?” She asks after a minute or two of silence.

“Life just isn’t that easy beautiful, it’s difficult to explain but you’ll understand one day.” Seunghyun offers and she nods with an understanding hum. “Now sleep, we’ve got a big day tomorrow.” Yuna seems satisfied with that answer for now and she nuzzles up to her father’s chest, just like that the two fall asleep.

Morning comes a lot quicker than what Seunghyun wants it to and he begrudgingly wakes up with a noisy yawn. Yuna wakes up at the sound and starts to stretch instantly clouting her father in the stomach and leg, he would protest but he’s way too sleepy to even notice. He does notice that his daughter is awake though and gently he lifts her up off the bed, littering her face with a ton kisses as he carries her out of the bedroom and towards the living room.

“Daddy, do we really have to go?” Yuna asks as Seunghyun sets up the fold out television table in front of the armchair, she’s now clinging onto her father’s back and he’s sort of choking but doesn’t let on about this fact.

“You know that we have to.” Seunghyun croakily answers, they have to go, end of story. “Just sit down for a minute whilst I go get our breakfast.” They don’t have time for much so Seunghyun just makes them a bowl of cereal to share, he won’t really eat much anyway - he never does. Walking back into the living room Yuna’s stood beside the armchair patiently waiting her father’s return and he pops the breakfast bowl onto the table then picks his child up, moving to sit down on the chair with her in his lap. They sit together and Seunghyun feeds her, Yuna then takes the spoon to return the favour and it’s a little messy but at the end of the day at least she’s learning how to share. When they’re finished Seunghyun takes the empty bowl back into the kitchen, leaves it in the sink, then hand in hand with Yuna they return to the bedroom.

Once they’re dressed and ready to go, with Yuna wearing a little glittery blue backpack to keep all of their necessary items for the day safe, Seunghyun leads her out of the house and to the back gate. He opens the back gate with a key and fishes their bike out from its resting place. He props it up against the front of the house as he shuts then locks the gate, now it’s time to go.

Every month Seunghyun makes this extraordinarily long trek from Jamsil across the river and over to Itaewon, it’s fun for the little one who utterly engrosses herself in watching the world pass her by, but Seunghyun’s too used to it to let it bother him now, though it used to hurt and he briefly wonders whether his bruised knees will last. After making sure that Yuna’s properly strapped into her bike seat, with her helmet on snugly, Seunghyun gets on and puts his feet to the peddles.

As Seunghyun pulls up to the apartments a dread twists and knots his insides together, he feels sick but he always does, and he tries not to show it when he gets off the bike to wheel it into the building. They go up in the lift to the top floor and once it dings, it’s Showtime. Seunghyun leaves his bike leaning against the mahogany wall of the corridor and lifts Yuna from her seat, unlatching her helmet to leave it hanging along with his over the handlebars. Then the shoes come off and are left outside the door, two knocks later and Seunghyun’s in. The whole process is carried out in a silence filled with nothing but a horrible sense of trepidation.

“Seunghyun!” An all too cheery voice to be realistic greets him and with a wave he follows the woman in, she doesn’t acknowledge her granddaughter. She never does.

“Mother.” Seunghyun answers formally because the way in which Yuna’s face drops when she’s ignored breaks his heart, every damn time the woman does it without fail.

“Hyunsoo your son is here!” She screeches into some part of the penthouse apartment and Seunghyun squeezes his daughter’s hand tighter as she looks up to him for reassurance. “Come sit, sit…” The tall thin stick of a woman waves them off into the direction of the nearest love seat and Seunghyun heads towards it. Just as their behinds hit the cushions of the couch a man enters and he’s even taller than his wife, wide robust shoulders with a muscled exterior which is slowly fading away with age. He looks as if he’s about to head out for a game of golf or something whereas his wife is dressed up far too much, wearing a short angular black dress with what looks like the longest heels in the universe. Together they make Seunghyun inwardly cringe.

“Ah Seunghyun…” His gravelly voice pretty much booms across the room. “Yuna.” He casually nods to his granddaughter but she doesn’t react, she’s too young to understand their various degrees of coldness.

“Father.” Seunghyun dryly replies sandwiching his daughter’s hand in between his own, the topmost hand starts to trace a thumb across her knuckles. This small yet warm instinctive action keeps them both calm.

“How have you been?” Seunghyun’s father sits on the other sofa which, when combined with this one, forms an L shape although he sits as far away from his son as he possibly can. It’s always been that way.

“Good, very good. Busy.” Seunghyun adds watching as his mother parks herself beside her husband, purposefully leaving about an inch between them.

“You’re still working at that school I take it?” She loudly chips in, voice icy and stare reserved.

“Yes I am.”

“Oh Seunghyun, you’re so intelligent, why are you wasting your life?” She feigns concern and the feeling of being sick trebles within Seunghyun. He hates her so much.

“Your mother is right you know.” His father contributes “We didn’t raise a straight ‘A’ student for nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, it’s a job in which I enjoy” Seunghyun tries to keep a calm head but this time it feels like too much. He shouldn’t have to put up with this bull.

“So how are you financially?” Seunghyun’s father drones on and his son knows exactly where this is going.

“I’m fine, more than fine actually, and no I don’t want to borrow any money from you and no I don’t want to date your friend’s daughter - we’re fine on our own.” Seunghyun spares them the twenty questions game and they sit in silence for a while, apparently shocked by that “sudden outburst”. However it’s not over yet, “So how are you Yuna? How’s school? Yuna did you want to tell your grandparents about how you got the lead in the end of year production at school? Or how you had fun as Hyomi’s-”

“Do not mention her name.” Seunghyun’s mother speaks up. “I don’t want to hear about that waste of space.”

“What my daughter or sister?” Seunghyun fires back, he’s had enough of this.

“Both.” Seunghyun’s father cuts in. “We don’t want to hear about her marrying that fancy American foreigner nor do we want to hear about your mistake.”

“I’ve had enough of this!” Seunghyun shouts because he’s had enough, for years he’s just sat silently and took this, he’s let them treat his real family like a speck of dirt and he won’t stand for it any longer. He’s had enough of trying to carefully explain to Hyomi why their parents abruptly cut her off and he can’t bear to hold his daughter in his arms as she sobs and whimpers a stream of apologies for existing or as his parents so eloquently put it “ruining their son’s bright future”.

“Come on Yuna we’re leaving.” Seunghyun tugs his daughter by the hand from the sofa and she follows, when they reach the door its then Seunghyun lefts off some steam. “My daughter is the most precious gift life has ever given to me so don’t you dare treat her as if she is nothing, she is my everything. And you should be happy for Hyomi because she’s finally happy, she’s in love, so much so that they’re married and we enjoyed their special day a great deal didn’t we baby?” Yuna nods with a tiny squeal of excitement.

“And I won’t speak to you two ever again until you decide to grow up and accept us as we are. We might not be perfect but neither are you. Goodbye.” Seunghyun opens the door and slams it shut, instantly scooping Yuna up into his arms. “Come on beautiful let’s get out of here.” He softly whispers as he presses a kiss to the side of her head, in amongst all her feathery curls. Seunghyun straps her back into the bike seat and he’s not surprised by their lack of effort, any sane parent would’ve chased them by now - would’ve tried to stop them leaving on such bad terms - but Seunghyun’s parents aren’t like that, they thrive on drama.

And it’s this drama Seunghyun’s done with.

He puts his and Yuna’s helmets into his front basket then wheels the bike back into the lift, he needs to go home but he’s going to make a pit stop first.

There’s a small café which sits on the corner of a street which isn’t too far away from Seunghyun’s parent’s apartment and he walks there. He used to come to this place a lot when he lived with them, he practically spent his college days living in the place, and he gets the bike’s padlock out from the front basket to chain the bike to the railings which sit just to the side of the shop, down a small alleyway. When Yuna’s removed from the seat Seunghyun sets her down on the ground and they walk into the café together.

The regular waitress instantaneously sees them enter and as the bell on the door rings she steps up to them.

“Seunghyun!” She greets with a big friendly wave. “Yuna, my favourite customers, how was it this time?”

“Hanna” Seunghyun tries to return something of a smile. “As per. I don’t really want to talk about it, sorry.” He just about manages to say without giving too much away.

“That bad, huh?” She sighs with all the empathy in the world for him. Hanna’s parents run the café and he’s known her for a good few years now, they briefly dated a while back whilst they were both in college but split up when she confessed her attraction to girls. Seunghyun didn’t mind all that much, they were far too young for anything serious, and he’d just discovered his own panuality so both needed space to adjust to these huge breakthroughs - whether these discoveries were a direct result of their relationship or not no one knows - but both remained somewhat close over the years.

“Pretty much.” Seunghyun eyes up a quiet corner which is sort of cut off from the rest of the café because it’s like a curved sofa with its back turned. “Can we get the usual’s please.” He walks past Hanna and makes his way over to the sofa. Yuna’s been silent this whole time and Seunghyun knows that as soon as he sits down she’s going to ask questions or say something about what they’d just experienced and he’s not so sure whether he’s ready for that.

“Sure, sure…” Hanna mumbles to herself watching as the dejected man walks away from her. Seunghyun leads Yuna to sit down first then he follows her into the seat and drops her hand to rest the set on the small round table which is just in front of them.

“Yuna-ah” Seunghyun catches the sound of his cracked voice and clears his throat. “Just know that your daddy loves you so very much but he’s worn out. Please just wait for your hot chocolate quietly.” He hates being so detached from his daughter but he can’t help it, right now Seunghyun just needs to sit and not think about what had just happened.

“I love you too daddy” Yuna quietly mumbles before turning away from him to look out of the window. They sit in silence until Hanna returns with their drinks, her expression is just so full of unwanted pity and it makes Seunghyun feel much worse, he hates feeling so down and dreary. It’s not like him at all.

“Two hot chocolates with extra cream and marshmallows, oh and here - free sympathy cake yay!” She sets the tray down onto their table and Seunghyun takes Yuna’s mug from it to place it just in front of her. He smiles for the first time as his little girl pokes the mug and lets out an all too cute “ouchies!” at how hot it is.

“Sympathy cake is my favourite.” Seunghyun perks up a little bit at the sight of a Belgian Bun and Hanna’s attempt at cheering him up. “Yuna-ah we have to leave it for a minute, remember?” He reminds Yuna as she blushes from being so forgetful, it’s such an adorable sight and Seunghyun breathes a sigh of relief. He has no idea what he’d do without his precious baby girl.

“Thanks Hanna” He smiles up at her and she returns it in a flash.

“No problem Hyun, so I’ve got some news.” She pulls a nearby chair up to the side of the sofa and rests her elbows on the table, propping her head on her linked fingers.

“You have?” Seunghyun asks taking the sugar-coated cherry from the peak of the bun to pass it over to Yuna who just it from his finger with a noisy slurp. The finger then gets wiped on his jeans and he flicks Yuna on the nose for her cheekiness.

“Yup, I’ve got myself a job in London, can you imagine it? I’m going to be working as a lead illustrator for a magazine over there, how cool is that?” She bubbles with an excitement which is far too contagious for Seunghyun’s liking.

“That’s so cool…” He replies in a dreamy tone, it would be so nice to travel somewhere. “Well if anyone deserves it it’s you my dear.” Seunghyun pats her arm and continues, “So the next time I’ll see you you’ll be stinking rich with an English lady on each arm?”

“Just the one would do!” She laughs whilst lightly punching him on the shoulder. “Anyway Yuna, has Mr. Picky-pants found himself someone yet?”

“Drink your hot chocolate Yuna.” Seunghyun side eyes his daughter and obviously she looks conflicted.

“So there is someone?” Hanna laughs some more. “Seunghyun-shi how could you keep this information from me? You really don’t deserve the pity cake with that attitude.” Finally Seunghyun laughs and he can’t stop. The reason why he’s laughing is because, combined with Hanna’s jokes, when the two adults turn to look at Yuna she‘s halfway through trying to stuff the majority of the Bun into and when they catch her she freezes, cake mid-air. She’s still frozen when Seunghyun looks back to Hanna

“You can have it back if you want it? I’m sure someone else would appreciate the extra kid slobber.”

“That is so gross Hyun!” Hanna shakes her head and stands. “Well I know where I’m not wanted...” She pouts dragging the chair back to its original table. “I’ll just be, you know, behind the counter crying my sorrows out…”

“Hmm nice, I might come get myself a steaming cup of sorrow before I leave.” Seunghyun turns back to his daughter and takes the half eaten cake - with its plate - away from her. “But seriously, I’m happy for you Han, you take care of yourself out there love.”

“I will and Yuna” Hanna walks in front of their table and bops down to Yuna’s level. “You take care of your Appa for me. Make sure that Mr or Mrs Perfect is just right for him, ok?” Yuna giggles as Hanna pets her head. “And you stay cute, I don’t want you growing up on me, Hyun if she’s a stroppy teen when I come to visit please let me take her to get her ears pierced, it’s a rite of female passage.”

“I don’t care what kind of passage it is my daughter is not having her ears pierced.” Seunghyun grumbles, why anyone would want pieces of metal stuck into their ears is so beyond him. “It’s weird and gross and no, just no. Perhaps you can do something else…”

“Hyun you’re such a caveman it’s incredible!” Hanna rolls her eyes and stands up. “Get with the times, earrings are pretty, girls like pretty, deal with it.”

“Just because my daughter’s a girl does not mean that she’ll grow up to enjoy pretty things.” He huffs. “And anyway she might not want her ears pierced so let’s just wait and see, ok?”

“Ok…” Hanna playfully rolls her eyes again. “You’re such a good father, you know that right?”

“I hope so.” Seunghyun feebly replies not really believing her.

“You are. God I’m going to miss your stupid mug even if I only get to see you once a month nowadays…” She takes some napkins out from the front of apron pocket and places them on the tray.

“Well I’ll miss your insults just as much…” Seunghyun takes a sip of his hot chocolate and it’s like pure paradise in a mug. Yuna picks up the cake up to eat again.

“Hm…” Hanna smirks, “Make sure you come say goodbye before you go but for now enjoy.” Seunghyun holds his hand out to her and she claps it as she passes, he then rests his head on the same hand.

“Daddy…” Yuna softly calls and right away Seunghyun turns to face her.

“What is it sweetheart?” He rips a piece of the Bun off to eat himself then takes the plate away from Yuna yet again.

“I like it when you smile.” She states simply and naturally as if they’re talking about the weather or something.

“Thank you and I like your smile too.” He can’t help but grin at that. “Ah, ah, ah…” He tuts “Daddy would like some cake too thank you very much” Seunghyun light-heartedly huffs under his breath, “You slow down there greedy-chops” He puts what’s left of the cake and its plate back onto the table. “Do you need help with your hot chocolate honey?” Yuna nods so Seunghyun lifts the small mug up, his daughter’s hands fly up to clasp onto his, and he carefully lifts the now lukewarm drink to her lips. “Ah there we go” He softly speaks as she takes a sip and once he’s placed the mug back onto the table they both giggle. Seunghyun points to his upper lip and Yuna goes to poke his lip too but he shakes his head guiding her finger back to her own lip, with a single flick he wipes some cream off then intentionally her finger - revenge from her earlier cherry attack. Yuna giggles harder voicing her displeasure whilst she wipes her finger on her Appa’s previously grey cardigan.

“Daddy germs!” She scrunches her little face up and Seunghyun swoops down to kiss her cute button nose.

“Daddy germs here and daddy germs there, daddy germs everywhere!” He says between more kisses.

“Ugh!” Yuna wipes it all off on daddy’s chest and he laughs at the sheer rebellion. When the two quit playing around they finish their drinks, say goodbye to Hanna, and then head back home.

The journey home always seems just that much shorter and Seunghyun’s so happy to see that little bungalow roll into his view. He doesn’t care if it’s too small or too old or a bit out of the ordinary for a family home, it’s his and that’s all that matters. Once the bike’s returned to its former resting place Seunghyun lifts Yuna and carries her into the house somehow she managed to fall asleep on the way home, it seems as if his daughter has picked up her father’s habit of being able to fall asleep anywhere. On the other hand, Seunghyun feels a lot better now, the bike ride home brought him some peace and he was able to clear all the useless debris from his head - he just let it go, let it all fly off into the sunshine because it’s not worth it. They’re not worth it. And Seunghyun doesn’t have time or the energy to waste on them any longer.

It’s a nice day, he thinks as he closes the front door and pads across the living room. No post, nothing irregular to report, so Seunghyun carries on moving to put his daughter to bed for a nap. When she’s comfortably settled he takes his phone from the bedside table, checks it to find nothing, then wanders back into the living room. He’s halfway through stripping his cardigan off when the mobile starts to ring and Seunghyun almost kills himself when he leaps up across the room, narrowly missing the coffee table, and grabs his phone from it. The cardigan gets thrown god knows where whilst Seunghyun answers

“Hello?!” He nearly hollers down the phone.

“Hi!” A familiar velvety voice melts through the line and Seunghyun can practically hear a smile.

“Jiyong?” Seunghyun questions as his tummy tangles up into nervous loops.

“Oh no you’ve found me out!” Jiyong frivolously acts, faking a gasp. “Well, obviously I got your message and so here I am.” He sounds so sweet and confident Seunghyun already feels woozy.

“Here you are…” Seunghyun repeats not really knowing what to say.

“Yup, so how have you been Seunghyun?” Seunghyun dissolves into the sofa and ceases to exist. He’s nothing but a lump of goo and it’s all because of how wonderful his name sounds coming from Jiyong’s lips - ah those lips.

“I- I’ve been fine, what about you?” From out of nowhere Seunghyun develops a stutter and he turns on the sofa so that he can lay on it.

“I’ve been good, just missing a certain someone…”

“Oh do I know them?” Seunghyun watches his feet wiggle in the air he pokes his big toes together where there’s a hole forming in each sock, like the two planned to go out together or something.

“Yeah I think so.” Jiyong’s voice is so light and buoyant that whenever he speaks Seunghyun feels like he’s on cloud nine. “He’s kind of tall, a bit awkward, likes to chase after his daughter a lot…” He giggles and Seunghyun beams at the lovely sound.

“Ah he sounds painfully familiar…” Seunghyun holds the phone between his ear and shoulder as he s his shirt sleeves to roll them up, it’s extraordinarily hot and he feels flustered.

“Yeah and he’s cute too.” Jiyong adds when his giggles fade.

“Is he now?” Seunghyun decides to take the shirt off, feeling much better in just his vest, and he throws the shirt to wherever his cardigan fell.

“Yup” Jiyong coyly replies, his voice roughening down a few notches. “And… he’s a tremendously good kisser.” That sentence really does jam the system and Seunghyun brings a hand, which isn’t holding the phone, up to his chest - his heart is racing and he can feel that giddiness again.

“Really?” Seunghyun almost croaks and he sits up.

“Yes sir… I’m just wondering when I can see him again.” Seunghyun leaves Jiyong’s sentence hanging in the air for a minute, it all feels far too good to be true but too realistic to be a dream. It’s like Seunghyun’s heart is a pendulum and with every word Jiyong speaks it swings backwards and forwards, bumping against his weakening ribcage like nobody’s business. He’s never felt it so actively before, never felt so conscious of the fact that he’s alive and the blood rushes to his ears.

Seunghyun’s tempted to say right now, he wants to see Jiyong in the next second, but he knows that he’d sound way too eager. He can’t give himself away so easily this time.

“Well…” Seunghyun starts, clearing his throat and plucking up as much courage as he possibly can. “I’m not sure I should answer for him but maybe you should wait until Sunday, or”

“Or?” Jiyong replies within a heartbeat.

“Just how much of a good kisser was he exactly?” Seunghyun bites the corner of his lip and waits for an answer.

“The best” Jiyong quickly answers, well he sounds just as eager. Screw it.

“Hmm, well maybe you could see him whenever you want - I mean, I think he’s free for the next few days…” His socks recapture his attention and he starts to play with them as he speaks pulling the tip away from his toes and snapping it back, only to repeat the process a minute later.

“How does tomorrow sound?” Jiyong’s voice is no longer light and airy, now it’s much thicker and thirsty, the sound sends a spell of tremors across every single inch of Seunghyun’s skin. There’s so much anticipation hanging in the air that he doesn’t know how to feel about it at all.

“Tomorrow sounds lovely.” Seunghyun replies with a gentle sigh.

“Great, oh and make sure your little girl is beach ready. I’ll pick you up at 9am.”

“Okay dokey.” Seunghyun smiles into the phone, he’s kind of out of responses for today - his feelings quota is utterly fulfilled. He feels stuffed to the brim with warmth like he’s going to explode into a glittery firework or something. “I’ll see you at 9am then.” Seunghyun repeats just to make sure.

“That you will, see you tomorrow y.” Jiyong adds an extra word and Seunghyun’s eyes widen from shock.

“B-bye Jiyong.” Seunghyun just about replies then quickly snaps his phone shut. If his heart was racing before well, it’s nothing compared to what he’s feeling now. The pendulum’s about to break from all this activity and Seunghyun’s heart will undoubtedly break through his chest to leave the world forever. He sinks back into the sofa, like there’s a heated blanket covering him, and tries to steady his breathing out. The heat isn’t a warm fuzzy feeling though on the contrary it’s amatory, stimulating in a way which Seunghyun hasn’t felt for years, a way which isn’t so innocent. He goes into the bathroom to soundlessly sort the problem out.

Nine am can’t come quick enough and Seunghyun finds himself wide awake at Five am. He manages to stay in bed for a whole two hours imagining all the ways in which today might play out and then at Seven am he leaves the bed, much to Yuna’s dismay.

“I’ll be right back baby.” He whispers as she starts to doze back off again. Leaving the room Seunghyun starts to prepare for their day. He makes it into the living room before he curses because he’s suddenly realised that he hasn’t been to the beach for like, well… he can’t actually remember. And he doesn’t think Yuna’s swimsuit will fit her.

“This .”  Seunghyun grumps on to himself for a bit longer and finds the old shoulder bag which he previously used as a portable baby bag when Yuna was much younger hidden under the sofa. He sits on the sofa then recalls all the beautiful memories of how he used to take Yuna out on daytrips when she was too young for nursery. Seunghyun would attach her to his front, shoulder bag hanging from his arm or bike, and they’d travel around Seoul trying to build up a collection of photographs for Seunghyun’s sort of non-existent portfolio. That’s how they used to get by, Seunghyun would write up a little travel review for a countless number of websites and they’d send him some money in return - call it freelance journalism if you want.

It’s been years since Seunghyun and Yuna had a daytrip. In all honesty he grew too lazy and she grew too fast, it was just easier to work at the nursery - more convenient.

He looks over the bag with fond memories, a part of him wishes that he’d never given up on those dreams whereas a contrasting part is happy to have a stable income, it’s a divide which he tries to not let bother him. If it was meant to be then it would’ve happened. Seunghyun rifles through the bag picking out its contents to put onto the table, there’s a never-ending supply of baby wipes, some nappies, tissues, powder, empty milk bottles, and one thing he doesn’t expect to find - which he does - Yuna’s baby blanket.

As soon as the blanket is out of the bag Seunghyun brings the softness to his face, he smells it, feels it, runs it over a cheek, the sweet odour of a baby warms his senses and he can feel something in the very pit of his stomach. It’s a mixture of pure love, achievement, hope and many more things which when put together can only explain a fraction of how Seunghyun feels about his daughter. Guilt quickly washes over him, he knows that he needs to sit Yuna down and talk her through his parents’ behaviour, he needs her to learn about the bonds of unconditional love and how sometimes people can take it for granted - even to the point that they can forget.

Later - Seunghyun tosses the guilt aside for the moment, he’ll talk to her properly later and he’ll phone Hyomi too then hopefully - finally- everything will be out in the open.

But right now, back to the task at hand, Seunghyun repacks the bag leaving the baby blanket and nappies out. For starters Yuna doesn’t wear nappies anymore and Seunghyun’s been so pleasantly surprised about how she accepted the switch, though she is very vocal about the fact that she’ll never take her rainbow undies off. He won’t let her forget about that when she’s older.

It’s not easy being a parent and a single one at that though it feels much harder to be a single father. Seunghyun grimaces at the thought of having to use a disabled toilet every time they’re out in public, he refuses to take his little girl into a room full of yucky urinals and after making that mistake once he won’t do it again. It’s not just toilets that are a problem, it’s even simpler things like people giving him funny looks when he’s trying to buy his girl some clothes - almost all of the shopping assistants say stuff to him like “Shopping instead of the wife are we?”, “It’s the wife who knows what would suit her child better”, and one time when Yuna briefly hid whilst daddy was trying to decide what the difference was between a crop and tank top a sales assistant took Yuna to the desk and called for the “mother of a lost young girl” which was so embarrassing when Seunghyun realised that his daughter was missing and pegged it over to the counter, only to be asked for proof when he got there. “I’m sorry sir it’s just that usually mothers come shopping with their children”

It was then Seunghyun had to explain to his little girl about her mother and how she’d left in such a rush that Seunghyun still feels as if it was all just a terrible dream, some kind of sick rouse on her part. And as much as it hurt to tell Yuna that they were basically unwanted, in a way it strengthened their own bond - both being left to naturally need each other.

Seunghyun sighs, as difficult as it’s been he’s not even once regretted his daughter’s birth. How could you regret something so wholesome and beautiful? How could you give birth to a life and then just walk away from it all? Seunghyun remembers the day Yuna’s mother scooped their little girl up into her arms and handed her over to Seunghyun, taking her out of crib and pretty much shoving her into her father’s arms. He protected her right away, and Yuna’s mother started to shout - hollering at Seunghyun to get out of her house, to get out of her life, and that she never loved him, she loved someone else and just like that Seunghyun scraped their belongings together and left.

He remembers walking halfway down the street, wrapping Yuna up in her favourite blanket and clutching his crying baby to his chest, he didn’t get far. That’s when he phoned Hyomi, she came right away, and she drove them back to Seunghyun’s old house - gathering the last of their stuff before they left for good. Yuna’s mother wasn’t in the house at the time and all that Seunghyun left was his key with the silly commitment ring he’d brought as part of a set for their first anniversary. It’s true that time really does heal all wounds, it’s been three years since then, and looking back he only feels sentimental. The years of struggle will still continue, Seunghyun will still find things difficult - even more so when Yuna hits her teens - but with a smile Seunghyun’s happy because he’s turned it all around. It’s different now and it’s time to enjoy some of the hardship.

Seunghyun stops reminiscing and gets up, taking a few minutes to pack a couple of extra things before he returns to Yuna to wake her up.

There are exactly five minutes until Jiyong is supposed to arrive and Seunghyun’s in full panic mode. Yuna’s jumping on the sofa because she’s overexcited about the beach and Seunghyun’s trying to make a mental list of all the things he should probably buy before they go.

“She definitely needs a bathing costume” Seunghyun lifts a thumb, “And we need lunch but I’m out of bread so we’ll just have to get something out” He lifts a finger, “Then we need sunscreen” Another finger, “Hats, I don’t have a hat to put on her” Two fingers go up, “Towels!” He swiftly pole vaults into the bedroom and takes two clean towels from their chest of drawers, he then runs into the kitchen and stuffs them into a plastic bag. A scream of “DADDY!!” causes him to rush back into living room

“What is it-”

“BIG SPIDER!” Yuna screams again and Seunghyun throws the plastic bag by the front door, leaping up on the sofa to join her.

“Where did it go?!” His voice cracks whilst Yuna clamps herself around his leg. “YUNA-AH WHERE IS THE SPIDER?!”

“Un-under the ta-table…” She reaches out a shaky arm and points to the table. Seunghyun bends and searches the floor for any signs of-

“OH MY GOD!” He screams and grabs onto Yuna, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to shake the image of a hairy scary spider from his head. He had no idea that they could be that big. Seunghyun tries to breathe, but truthfully he hates spiders just as much as Yuna does - it’s something else they share.

“DADDY GET IT!!” Yuna squeals and tightens her grip. Seunghyun just automatically picks her up and buries his wimp of a head into her shoulder.

“It’ll just scurry off somewhere…” He hopes out loud but they both scream at the same time when the spider makes an appearance again, scampering straight across the floorboards just below them.

“DADDY PLEASE!”

“I DON’T WANT TO! SOMEONE ELSE GET IT!!” Seunghyun screams too and stamps his feet, a minute later a rather entertained voice calls

“Mind if I help?” Seunghyun looks to the voice and shrinks, it’s Jiyong and he’s smiling. Oh god…

“JUST GET RID OF IT!” Both Seunghyun and Yuna shriek at the same time as the spider comes back into view. Jiyong runs into the living room and jumps on it, immediately squishing the arachnid. He laughs and takes his shoe off, Seunghyun watches him through a crack in one eye continuing to trail Jiyong as he wanders off into the kitchen. Ever so slowly Seunghyun points the tip of his toe to the floor and after poking it a few times he gingerly steps off the sofa, gently placing Yuna back down on the ground. When Jiyong returns his grin looks even bigger than before and Seunghyun has no idea what to say. There’s a moment of awkward silence until Jiyong speaks,

“Definitely damsel material…” He quips slipping his loafer back onto his foot. Seunghyun can feel his face flushing and he yanks a little on his white shirt collar. “So ladies are we ready for a day at the beach?” Yuna screams again but it’s a sort of good noise, well it virtually deafens her father though Jiyong bends down to her level and she runs straight into his arms. It’s all a bit weird for Seunghyun, Yuna dislikes people so why does she like Jiyong so much? He shakes his head and tries to regain his composure. It’s a lovely sight regardless.

“We are now.” Seunghyun hoarsely replies, clearing his throat and scooping up various bags as he crosses the room. “Thanks for that by the way” He adds once he’s slipped some sandals on.

“Not at all, the Jiyong rescue service is always at your disposal.” Jiyong winks with a mock salute and Seunghyun laughs like an idiot whilst he bends down to strap on Yuna’s sandals. He manages to stop laughing once he’s stood up and right away Jiyong snatches the biggest bag from him. “Come on then, we’re wasting daylight here” Jiyong leaves first, a bag in hand and Yuna’s in his other, Seunghyun simply follows and when they’ve crossed the threshold Jiyong speaks up again

“Oh and Hyun you really need to lock your front door or else complete weirdo’s can just walk in.”

“But what if I want to let complete weirdo’s in?” Seunghyun smirks as he takes his daughter’s hand and leaves Jiyong to stand thoughtfully motionless for a minute. “Oh and the same goes for your car” He adds opening the back door up for him and Yuna to climb into. Once they’re in Jiyong laughs quickly recovering to jog up to the front door. They share a cheerful smirk before Jiyong climbs in and starts the car, Seunghyun’s smirking because the future seems a lot brighter with Jiyong around.

His pendulum is swinging again.