“From Me to You with Love”

Part6

Yoochun gave a massage at the bridge of his nose. There’re so many things to manage and so many annoying one sided arguments he’s involved in with Junsu. When he said one sided – he meant him being the one who just listen to everything Junsu said or in most of their cases; screamed. He did say one sentence during the course of their argument; “I’m sure, your hyung’s fine” but that’s enough to make Junsu go hysterical. It came perilously close to give their relationship a cruel ending.

“Yoochun-shi…”

Yoochun diverted his attention from the computer screen and glanced up to meet his secretary’s eyes.

“There’s someone wants to see you…she said it’s urgent…”

“Okay…bring her in…” He gestured with his hand. While waiting for the said guest, Yoochun inserted the last input and pressed the save key.

The sound of the click clacking shoes signaling her arrival but it went dead not long after that and was replaced by the sound of the soft knock on his door.

“Annyeonghaseyo Yoochun-shi…”

Yoochun lifted his chin up and was surprised to see Yejin appearing at his office so suddenly like that.

“Yejin-shi!”

He studied her from head to toe as he pushed himself out from behind his desk. Honestly, they’re not that close with each other even though Yunho’s his best friend. Part of the reason is because Junsu didn’t like her and one of other reason is because she herself didn’t even show any intention to be close to them. To see her standing at the doorway of his office is definitely bizarre but he could tell for sure that it’s relating to Yunho.

 “Please, sit…” He invited her in while showing her the way like a gentleman would do.

She followed him from behind and took a seat facing him directly. She placed the clutch that matched the color of his beige dress on her laps and slowly she took the shade off – revealing her swollen eyes that are still obvious even after she covered it up with make-up.

“I’m sorry for bothering you like this…but I have no one to turn to…” She said with apologetic eyes.

“Y-yejin-shi…”

“Please help me find Yunho…”

“He…he promised to have a dinner with me last night but he didn’t come home…I’ve tried his phone several times but he’s not answering…”

Yoochun took a moment to respond as he’s recalling the incident that involved Yunho last night. Instead of going home, Yunho requested him to bring him to Jaejoong’s apartment which he did. So if he didn’t go home, that’s mean he’s still there.

*******

“YUNHO-AH, STAY WITH ME! WE’RE ALMOST THERE!!!” Yoochun sprinted and breezed through the crowds while carrying the unconscious Yunho on his back.

Yejin on the other hand, was trying hard to catch up on him but she’s left far behind. The panic gathered in as she fought to swallow it. It was like a hard jolt of shock strike her heart viciously when they found Yunho’s in pretty bad shape; lying on the bed. ‘Bad’ wasn’t even the right word to describe Yunho’s situation.

His body’s burning hot, his shirt damped with perspiration and he’s barely breathing. There’s white substance’s flowing out of his mouth. She didn’t even know where to begin, didn’t even have the chance to sort her feeling when she found out that he has another house other than the place they’re currently reside. It’s not even hard to tell that the apartment’s belongs to that person.

Should she feel jealous or angry by it?

“YUNHO-AH! WE’RE HERE! YOU’LL BE ALRIGHT! YOU’LL BE ALRIGHT!”

“SIR, WE’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE!”

“SEONGSANIM, THE PATIENT’S NOT BREATHING!”

Their voices came clear to her now, as did the terror in her eyes. Her heart pounded as her steps died. What is she doing? It’s her husband they’re struggling to save. It’s her husband that’s fighting with the life and death on that bed. And here she’s thinking whether or not she should feel jealous or angry by it?

Stumbling in her walks, she dropped down next to Yoochun’s side numbly.

*******

Lowering down on the seat at the makeup table, she looked inside the drawer she inadvertently left open. There’s a new lipstick she hadn’t yet use and took it out. Slowly and cautiously she applied it on her lips. She was so intent in keeping her hand from shaking that she accidentally putting it a bit thicker than usual.

Biting back a sigh, she pulled the tissue from its box and wiped it clean. She’s about to redo it when her gaze fell on their honeymoon picture next to the tissue box. She would say that’s probably the happiest moment in her life. Trying to stay unaffected, she’s back facing her own reflection and realized that she’s just smudge her mascara when the tears rolled down. She pulled couple more plies of tissue and dabbed it beneath her eyes.

*Flashback

“I know you never like me at the first place, but don’t you think you’re being cruel to me, Junsu-shi?” She was surprised when Junsu requested to talk to her in private; it surprised her even more when he did that just to ask her to leave Yunho alone. He sounded like she’s the one who put Yunho in that miserable condition.

“I have my own reason for not liking you but this has nothing to do with it…if there’s someone that should be blamed, it was Yunho because he’s the one created all this mess…”

“Then how could you? How could you still ask me to divorce him when you know the truth? You don’t know what I’ve been through…you don’t know what it feels like standing at my place right now…”

“Yes, you’re right…I don’t know and I don’t want to know…I don’t even want to imagine Yoochun’s cheating on me…but if he really does…” Junsu’s voice trailed off as he turned around.

“…even if it hurts me, even if it’s killing me…I’d let him go…because I love him and all I want is for him to be happy…”

Yejin stared at him slack-jawed, her chin trembled ominously. She’s speechless.

“Don’t tell me you’re happy with your marriage right now? Don’t tell me that you’re happy seeing him lying on that hospital bed, don’t care if he’s in between death and life as long as he’s fulfilling his promise to you? Even if you know that he doesn’t love you?” Junsu showered her the questions with a cold face. She could feel his eyes piercing at her.

*Flashback End

Her body hunched lower to the table as she burst into sobs. She’s hanging onto the past because she’s so afraid that all the good things would never come across in her life ever again. She’s trying hard to save their marriage that she overlooked the most important factor in building a life together – love.

*******

“He fell sick for a week and when he woke up…he’s being like that ever since…not talking much, isolating himself…he didn’t answer me even when I asked him about what really happened…that’s when I decided to call you…maybe you know something…” Changmin brought Junsu to a beach and pointed to a lonely figure.

Junsu slowed down his steps when he saw the back view of his hyung. Sitting on the gigantic rock, he threw his gaze far out on the blue ocean before him. He was all in white and in Junsu’s eyes; Jaejoong resembles a lot like an angel – a fallen angel where his heart yearn to fly back to his heaven but he couldn’t.

Junsu brushed a teardrop off his cheek.

“Changmin hyung…can you help running some errands for me?”

*******

If only he could bury all those precious memories deeper in that ocean, maybe things would turn out different; he thought. But then, he’d be left with nothing and his life would has no meaning.

Even the pain inside his heart feels like a part of his body now. Disregarding it equals to denying his own existence. Loving Yunho, even though it hurts him to death, it’s not that easy to remove it. Even if he can’t have him, even if his feeling doesn’t reach the other side, he’d still love him. Because to him, it’s love.

Yes, to him. It’s love.

The waves slammed against the rock, throwing some splashes on his legs.

“Jaejoong hyung…”

Jaejoong thought that it was a part of his imagination when he heard Junsu’s voice calling for him. He held his hair with his hand and looked back. To his surprise, he found Junsu together with Changmin; smiling brightly at him.

“Junsu-ah…” Jaejoong’s face brightened up and he immediately stood up. He brushed the dirt off his pants first before he jumped and ran towards Junsu.

“Junsu-ah….Hyung really miss you…” Jaejoong said as soon as he locked him in his embrace.

Junsu held back his tears from falling down and nodded. Feeling Jaejoong’s body against him, he could tell that he’s getting skinnier than before.

“Hyung…look at what we brought specially for you…” Junsu said, drawing away from Jaejoong just to show what’s inside his hand.

The smile on Jaejoong’s face disappeared when he saw that it’s a pack of red balloons.

“We’re going to inflate these balloons – in an old way.” Junsu tried to sound as cheerful as possible and he even slipped in his signature laugh, hoping that it could break the awkwardness.

Jaejoong glanced up and gazed straight into Junsu’s eyes.

“You knew…” He spoke in a low compelling voice.

“Hyung…I came here as your dongsaeng…and as a dongsaeng, all I want is for you to be happy…when you’re not, I’ll find a way to cheer you up…remember what you’ve told me before when we’ve just lost our mom…?”

“Don’t cry, Junsu-ah…hyung know how much you miss our mom…here…blow this balloon and while you’re doing so, think of everything that you want to tell her…how much you miss her, how much you love her…then we’ll let it fly to the sky and your feeling will reach to her…”

The tears that were pooling at the corner of Jaejoong’s eyes slid down. The laugh mingled with tears as he took the balloons from Junsu’s hand.

“We might need more of this…” Jaejoong was talking about the balloon as he joked.

“Don’t worry…we came here fully prepared…” Changmin answered with an assurance smile.

*******

Jaejoong’s gaze swept from Junsu to Changmin as they were helping him to hold onto the red balloons.

“Ready?” He asked them and they replied him with a nod.

“On count of 3, we’ll release these together…okay hyung?” Junsu shouted.

“1…2…3!”

And there it goes; all the red balloons were released altogether in a go. Jaejoong had his eyes fully fixed on the sky where he can see all of them floating and scattering; heading to a direction where the wind blew them to.

*Jaejoong’s POV

It’s not wrong for someone to fall in love and it’s not even a crime when you fall for the wrong person. Because in love, you can’t really choose who you want to fall in love with. You just did. But not all people can have what they want.

Jung Yunho, all these balloons contains all of my feelings and memories of you. Your smile, your laughter, your voice and even the sound of your steps…I love you, I really do. And it would be really good if I could just say it to you – face to face.

Thanks for giving me a chance to know a wonderful world – a world where there’s just you and me in it, a world where I got to know what love is.

“From me to you, with love…”

*******

Yejin stopped by the VIP door with ‘Jung Yunho’ as the patient name. Hesitated for a moment, she pushed the door nonetheless and walked in. Her appearance woke Yoochun who fell asleep on the couch next to Yunho’s bed.

“Yejin-shi…” Yoochun immediately stood up while brushing his eyes.

“I…I heard from the doctor that he’s finally awake…”

“Yes…earlier this morning…” He threw a glance at Yunho and then back at Yejin.

Her eyes trailed off and fell on the man who wasn’t even interested in anything other than the world outside the building. He could see the sadness mirrored in her eyes and there’s nothing that he could do to console her. Feeling sympathy weighed his heart.

“I’m…I’m gonna go grabs some coffee…” Yoochun excused himself and hurried out of the room to give the two of them some privacy.

Yejin made her way to the table and put the flowers she brought into an empty vase. Turning around as she’s facing Yunho’s back, she settled down on the settee provided.

“Yunho-ah…how are you feeling today?”

She knew that she’ll gain no answer from him but she asked anyway – merely to give her some times to gather all the hidden courage as well as the inner strength to do what she’s intending to do. Her heart grew heavy and her lips went dry the second her hand’s taking out the big envelope from her purse.

“Yunho-ah…I-” She swallowed the lump down bitterly.

Why it has to be that way? Is there no other way out for both of them? It’s just it? All sorts of questions suddenly popped up and all the good memories gushed out, flashed before her eyes. No, there’s no other way and she knew it better than anyone else. She embraced the pain and put everything behind her head.

“Let’s break up…” The tears trickled to fall down as she’s uttering it.

“I’ve already signed the divorce paper. I’ll leave this on the table” She said it out loud in a clear voice and in one breath. Pushing the chair backward as she rose up, she waited for some response and when she heard nothing, she rushed straight to the door.

Her hand was already on the door knob when she heard the voice.

“I’m really sorry, Ye Jin-ah…”

“I failed to be a good husband…I’m really sorry…”

“Don’t ever forgive me…better, hate me…”

Yejin closed her eyes and the tears rolled down instantly. Holding her breath, she swung the door open and left the room.

“Jung Yunho, you’re stupid! How can I hate someone that I really love?”

*******

 “Giving up doesn’t always mean that you are weak…sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go…”

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