“From Me to You with Love”

 Part4

Yunho lied still on the bed topless and not moving. He watched as Ye Jin undressed herself in front of him, revealing the God’s gift and slowly crawled on top of Yunho. She hooked his legs on each of Yunho’s side and leaned down to capture his mouth. The kiss didn’t last for too long when she moved to the next spot; nibbling at Yunho’s earlobe and trailed wet kisses down Yunho’s neck.

Like a heartless robot, Yunho just lied there doing nothing and just let her do whatever she wanted to do to him. He’s not even responding to any of that, nor he feels aroused by her teases. What did he feel actually? Nothing but guilt. All he could see is Jaejoong’s face; all he could hear is Jaejoong’s mild voice and all he could feel is Jaejoong’s touch.

*Flashback

Jaejoong skimmed his finger along Yunho’s well honed abs with a smile. His face flushed because of the teasing, restraining himself from taking Jaejoong raw, fast and hard just like that. As much as he wanted it badly, he couldn’t bear to hurt Jaejoong.

“I could just kiss like this all night long…never get tired of this….” Yunho said and sealed their lips together into a deep passionate kiss.

“Really? So, you don’t wanna do it tonight? Shall we stop right here then?” Jaejoong smirked slyly while tracing an invisible line on Yunho’s thigh, obviously teasing.

Yunho stifled a groan, the sweat dropped from his forehead.

“As much as I love kissing you, I can’t hold it anymore…” Yunho said while biting his lips. The laugh erupted from Jaejoong’s bloody red lips.

“Stop me if I hurt you…” Yunho reminded Jaejoong as he positioned at the entrance.

“No…you’re not hurting me…not once…” 

*Flashback End

Ye Jin unhooked his pants, slid the zipper down and guided the pants down Yunho’s legs.

“What happened? Am I doing it wrong? You’re not even ?” Ye Jin was surprised and a bit disappointed to find out that it still has no effect on Yunho even after what she she’s done.

Ye Jin was about to touch Yunho’s member when he abruptly stopped her from doing so.

“I don’t think I can do this! I’m sorry…!” Yunho pulled the blanket and threw it on her back, covering her body. He climbed off the bed, grabbed his shirt and immediately dressed up.

“W-what…what’s wrong?” She panicked.

“Did I do something wrong? If I did something that you don’t like, I’m sorry…it’s been a long time since the last time we did it, so I kinda nervous…” She spurted it out, wondering where did she do wrong.

“No…you’re not doing anything wrong…it’s my fault…” Yunho said and put a shirt on.

“T-then-”

“I’m going to sleep at the study room…” He added, refused to explain as he urgently wanted to get out of that room.

“You’ve been acting strange lately…Are you cheating on me?”

Yunho’s steps died. The hairs prickled at the back of his neck when she suddenly brought up that issue.

“My friends told me before…that you’re secretly dating someone else even though you’re married to me…but I don’t believe them…I told them that they’re wrong…” She turned around to face Yunho.

“I mean…its ridiculous right! Because you’re so good to me…you come home early, you’re not spending your night outside…”

“Ye Jin-ah…” Yunho called her weakly, hoping that she would just stop.

“You know how happy I am when you’re spending more times with me…?”

“Ye Jin-ah…”

“But even so…I noticed that you’re no longer the same…it’s like you’re here with me physically but your mind and heart are somewhere else…please tell me that it’s not true…please tell me that I’m wrong…”

Yunho closed his eyes and slowly, he let go of the doorknob. There’s no use to hide it anymore.

“It’s actually ‘were’” He turned around, finally looking her straight in the eyes.

“What?”

“I’m not cheating on you…I ‘cheated’ on you…it’s in the past…we already stopped seeing each other because I chose to be with you…”

Her eyes widened in shock. The tears shimmered in her eyes. She’s supposed to be happy when he said that he chose her but it hurts her instead. Because Yunho wasn’t look happy at all when he uttered it. She swallowed down bitterly.

“And why do I get the feeling that you’re not happy with that decision?” She was so scared to hear the answer. She wished that Yunho would lie or at least come up with a better way to comfort her.

She’d consider something like ‘I’m sorry but I love you’. But her gut was telling her that those two options were out of the lists.

“Because I realized that I really love him…”

Ye Jin’s mind stayed blank for an instant too long. Her lower lips quivered, her hands clutched tightly on the bedspread as she’s having a trouble to absorb the truth. The tears escaped from her eyes without she even realized it.

How should she respond to it? There’s no sane people who’s in their right minds to just stay calm and accepted it coolly. She wanted to say something or lost control or even goes hysterical but she just froze on that spot. The only thing that flow out smoothly is the tears.

“You can curse me, mad at me but I’m not going to say I’m sorry…because I don’t want you to forgive me…what I’ve done is bad and it’s not worthy of your forgiveness…” Yunho spoke numbly.

“If there’s someone that I need to apologize right now, it would be him…I chose to marry you when I’m going out with him and I chose you again this time after I’ve done messing around with him…when I realized that I couldn’t live without him, it was already too late…”

 “Please stop...” Ye Jin palmed both of her ears and shook her head.

“Don’t you think that you’re really cruel to me? How am I supposed to react to that? You cheated on me and now I should feel bad?! Like that?!!!” She snatched the pillow and threw it to Yunho as she wailed.

Yunho didn’t dodge the pillow but just accepted it. He felt sorry to her, but there’s nothing that he can undone. Maybe if he met Ye Jin first before Jaejoong, things would turn out different.

“You promised me that we’d be together until we grow old and die! You promised me that you’d never let go of my hand and protect me for the rest of your life! You promised me that I’d be your only love!!!!!” She screamed it out of her lung as the tears continued streaming down.

“Don’t worry…you’ll get that promises fulfilled…you can have my whole life…” Yunho uttered with a low bland voice.

The pain was the only thing that shown through his eyes as he said it. He tried to end it with a smile but it didn’t work as the way he wanted it to be so he just walked out of the room.

Ye Jin’s mouth hanged opened slightly, she was speechless.

“What about your heart? Your love?” The tears rolled down even faster.

*******

The sound of harsh wind slapping against the window along with the falling rain wakes up the sleeping man early in the morning. The thunder and the lightning were like playing hide and seek, run after each other. He brushed off the strands that covering his face and staring at the falling rain out of the window.

Jaejoong glanced at the empty spot next to him and then let his eyes fixed on the door, waiting for someone who doesn’t seem to appear.

He heaved a desperate sigh. No matter how much he scolds or reminding himself that he has to let Yunho go, whenever the morning comes he ends up looking for him again.

“Just let me love him for one more day…” He murmured but later chuckled like an idiot. He feels like an idiot. That’s what he’s been telling himself every time he wakes up, let him love Yunho just for another day when he supposed to do the other way round.

He’s not strong enough to stay behind, pretending like nothing ever happened and watched Yunho’s smiling at someone else. Because he loves Yunho and watching that will only hurts him. When he couldn’t see him, it’s hurting him still and the pain was unbearable. But at least he could cry without Yunho knowing, without anyone else knowing.

“Be with me…only when you’re with me I can breathe…only when you’re with me I can live…so stay with me, from now onwards until my heart stop beating…”

The tears rolled out from his eyes and fell on top of his palm. He still could remember those exact words – words that Yunho whispered but not to him but to his wife; Jung Ye Jin. Those sweet words became the thorns that scratched and gouged his heart.

“They are really meant for each other…so there’s no need for you to be in between, Kim Jaejoong…”

Even that day he couldn’t get out from the thought of Yunho. He couldn’t help but to keep on opening the sweet memories he created with him. He could come up with thousand of reasons to hate Yunho but those won’t change the fact that his heart’s still calling for that one name.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry Yunho-ah…for loving you like this…” the tears rolled down even faster, one by one and landed on his cold hand.

*******

Yunho awoke by the sound of the falling rain. Swallowing a grunt, he threw his gaze at the clock on his working desk. It’s not that long after he fell asleep but it’s already morning.

“It’s raining…” Yunho mumbled, swiveling in his chair to the back and pulled the curtain wider so that the view is visible clearly to his eyes. The falling rain against the window seems to form Jaejoong’s face and it’s calling for Yunho’s name.

*Flashback

“Yunho-ah!” Jaejoong screamed with a strangle gasp. His body trembled hard when the bright light flashed through the dark and the thunder strike.

“Jaejoongie?!” Yunho couldn’t really see it in the dark but he could feel the grip on his arm tightened till it hurt him. His hand reached and flipped on the light.

“Omo Jae…what’s wrong?” Jaejoong’s face blanched and it frightened Yunho. He looked totally disconcerted by Jaejoong’s condition and he pulled him into a hug, consoling the latter with warm words.

“Yunho-ah you are here…”

“Yes…I’m here…”

Jaejoong took slow, deep breath and then drew away from Yunho slowly.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to wake you up like that…it’s just…the rain and the thunder, I don’t like them…it gives me a feeling that I was left alone and no one gonna find me…” He said, laughter mingling with tears – knowing that it sounds stupid. It’s even stupid to let Yunho see his vulnerable side so he looked away, let his body sank on the bed – his back facing Yunho.

Yunho smiled softly. He then wrapped his arm around Jaejoong’s waist and pulled him closer until their bodies came in contact.

“I don’t like clown…I hate clown very much…I don’t think that it’s entertaining at all…it’s creepy…” Yunho whispered one of his secret as a trade. He heard the soft chuckle escaped from Jaejoong’s mouth.

“…and I’m here for you…” He added.

“That’s enough for me…” Jaejoong turned his body around, his hand cupping Yunho’s cheek.

“You’re here now meant a lot for me…”

*Flashback End

“Jaejoong-ah…wherever you are right now…Without me by your side, will you be alright?”

“You’re not crying somewhere are you?”

Yunho closed his eyes and the tears rolled down as he did.

*******

“A relationship doesn’t need any promises, terms or conditions. It just needs two wonderful people. One who can trust and one who can understand. One who’s willing to sacrifice and one who’s willing to change.”

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