Set In Stone

A final comfort that is small, but not cold:  The heart is the only broken instrument that works. 

~T.E. Kalem

What were you suppose to do when you broke up with your first love? What exactly could you do to deal with it? Play endless streams of happy, uplifting music? Eat your heart out with chocolate, take up drinking? How about wander around aimlessly in the hope they’d come back to you? Revisit old places in a vain attempt to replay memories? Like any of that would make it better. Would help you breath easily, take the dragging weight of your heart and stop the tears that erratically took hold when you least expected it. It wouldn’t make them come back to you, if anything pity would form in the depths of their hearts. Guilt would eat at them, rooting away at their very happiness until they became as broken as you. None of that would help anyone.

But, humans have and humans always will, use such methods in a vain attempt to escape the pain. Whether those methods were good or bad would always be up to that specific person.

~

Lonely footsteps sounded through the night. A light drizzle of rain clouded the sky, pulling the street into a darker melancholy mood than it would usually. A hunched figure passed under the light of a street lamp before disappearing into darkness again. He was young, handsome and painfully sad. His gentle face broke in and out of vision as the light flickered from overuse. The long legs ate up the distance between himself and his destination. The longish hair was half pulled back into a rough pony, the straight hair stuck out at the back. Cold hands were tucked casually into their jeans.

Unknowingly, his footsteps were headed towards her house again. What was he suppose to do when subconsciously he found himself heading back to her, like a lost puppy that had lost its way. Falling in love, he decided, was one of the biggest mistakes he’d made in his life.

He didn’t look up, didn’t snap into consciousness until he arrived outside her house. The slow footsteps halted. For a moment he stood frozen, drops of water clung to the tips of his fringe only to fall and join the puddle around his feet. The dark brown fence in front of him was sodden with the rain and he knew with one slight push it would swing open with a creak. Nevertheless his hand didn’t rise to follow through with his thoughts.

He found himself staring blankly at the front gate, though slightly broken, that he used to pass through constantly. Memories surfaced again; soft smiles, light caresses and the plaguing laughter that had printed itself in his mind. He tried to push the memories away, had tried multiple times, but they remained. A plague in his mind. A virus he couldn’t erase.

Her voice rang in his ears; ran around his mind, mocking him with past affections of love. His fingers curled into a fist, eyes screwing shut as what felt like an arrow pierced into his heart. He missed her. He missed her too much for words. He’d tried to get rid of her voice, tried so many times but she remained there. Embedded forever like a regretful tattoo. He didn’t realize when the rain stopped. The after chill still haunted him, pushing his body into a state of shivers.  

‘Please come back to me,’ he whispered into the night. His words fell on deaf ears, only the light singing of a distant bird a response to his broken voice. The past rain glowed with the light of the moon on the petals of weeping flowers. His eyes took them in, the dropping stem and sunken petals. A fluttering thought passed through that they resembled his heart but he pushed it away.

He was going crazy.

The jacket rustled as his hand slipped into the front pocket, connecting with dry paper that he’d agonized over mere hours before. He knew every word that had marked the page, every tear that he’d been unable to catch as he wrote; every tear that had stained the paper in a more heartfelt way then his words ever could. All for naught, he knew she wouldn’t read it.

With a sigh he slipped the letter out of his pocket and walked the brief way to her front door. The breaking of his heart didn’t register as he stared at the cream paint and the number ‘12’ that stared back at him. He bent down and slid the letter under the crack of her front door. Standing up he glanced once more at the old wood that he use to push open only to step into the embrace of his girlfriend. Now he felt like a trespasser, an unwanted presence that caused distress and distaste.

With another soft sigh he turned, hands tucked into his pockets and made his way down the steps. The wind buffered against him, his soft hair falling into his eyes. It didn’t concern him. Ready to leave, ready to step out from that place full of too many memories he found himself caught, his eyes captured by something on the floor. One large hand was resting on the worn gate as he bent down, ran his free hand over the dirt that covered the concrete pathway to reveal two words that hit his heart.

Dongwoon x Sihyun

‘Damnit,’ he whispered.

They’d written their name in the path long ago, when it was still wet and her parents hadn’t been looking.  With their fingertips they’d traced their names together, in the top right hand corner, giggling the entire time. Her parents hadn’t exactly been happy when they found it later but, in the same way, they thought it was a bit too cute for words and the punishment had been minimal.

Dongwoon’s face hardened. Not that it mattered now. Now, it was just a reminder of a failed relationship from years past. Or at least it felt like years past, how could he tell anymore? The days weaved together; the nights were long and lonely. Even his friends couldn’t pull him out of his despair with words of comfort or force.

Nothing had seemed to work.  He’d tried to empty his heart, cover the visible scars with paint but the paint wore away.

‘Do you ever think of me?’ he whispered, the words of his letter appearing behind his eyes, ‘You cold person…’ Dongwoon swallowed the tears, swallowed the knot that had formed in his throat, ‘Even when you glare at me coldly I can’t hate you, I can’t forget you. You use to be my everything…’

He couldn’t finish. Stubbornness pushed him to his feet and out the gate. He never intended to turn back, never intended to look up to where her bedroom was situated. Never intended, not in his wildest dreams, to meet her eyes through the rain splattered window and see pain.

And instead of going to her, instead of comforting her like he wished; he turned away coldly, pushed his hands back into his pockets and walked away.

Replies;

@MANGYAHang
Aww thank you so much! Sorry if they're too sad T_T I'm a meloncholy writter haha. Again thank you so much~!! Your support means the world.

@CrystaL401017;
Thank you! I actually really struggle with the emotion part of it, I find it really difficult to capture them properly so that means so much to me! I love rainy days! Ahh! :D Btw, I'm so sorry it's taking me so long with 'Like a Movie' T.T I've been swallowed by school work haha.

@fightingme;
Haha, I'm so sorry you had to wait so long~ ^^ I promised another friend I'd make Yoseob's story happy so.. :D Happy. It's hard to write Yoseob sad anyway ^^ he's too cute. Thank you so much for your support~

@myasaiinbBy;
Sorry T-T I'll make the next Kikwang song happy ok? ^^ Thank you for your support!

@aniyababo;
Thank you so much for your support! I hope you're enjoying the one-shots~

@ercprc;
Thank you so much haha but I really do have a long way to go with my writting ^^ I'd love to write another Hyunseung story!! :] Thank you for your support ~