Chapter 9

Three months later…

Kyuhyun went to his parents’ old house and to his bedroom located at the 3^rd floor. The room didn't change since last time he left it years ago except it was covered by dust now because his parents were no longer there. He sat up at the edge of his bed and looked around the room. He felt so lonely. He no longer smiled since the past three months and his face showed coldness, sadness and loneliness.

Kyuhyun used to dream of bringing Donghae there with him. Live together happily in the house. He always dreamt he would wake up every morning watching Donghae sleeping beside him, within his arms, and they would cuddle or simply enjoying each other presence whole morning. He used to imagine how they would always hand in hand wherever they go. He would kiss Donghae’s forehead and wish him a goodnight before they sleep. He would love to watch Donghae’s sleeping form whole night. But much to his dismay, all that things would never happen now. He had lost his hopes and dreams to build a happy life with his precious one, Lee Donghae.

Kyuhyun stood up and walked to the bookshelf. He picked out a certain book and held it close to his chest. The book reminded him of someone he loved dearly. He opened it and looked for a certain part somewhere in the middle of the book.

‘Please come back home soon. I miss you.’

He remembered Donghae wrote it when he went away for two week-student orientation at the university. Along with the words, he also saw Donghae’s cute drawings. He quickly closed the book and put it back to its original place. He couldn't help himself whenever he reminded of Donghae. It was too much for him and it always made him cry. He never expected everything would turn out this way.

He took out some of his clothes from the closet as well as other stuffs he needed. He decided to return to New York and would never come back. Ryeowook agreed with his decision despite all doubts and disappointments. He thought it would be much better than letting Kyuhyun live with his expectations of getting back together with Donghae. So Kyuhyun chose to reunite with his family in New York. In 7 days, he would leave Korea for good. He would leave behind his good friends, as well as his Donghae, along with their sweet and bitter memories they had shared together. Forever.

***

Even though Kyuhyun decided to leave Korea forever, he didn't sell out his apartment. Therefore, he asked Wooky to come to his apartment every once in a while.

"It seems you're really going back to New York?" Wooky stated rather asked while Kyuhyun was preparing his belongings.

"We've had a good talk about this a few days ago. So, I'm sure we don't need another one now." Kyuhyun retorted

"Well, If you say so. I just can't believe you would actually go."

No response.

"Are you going to meet Donghae for the last time?" Wooky kept talking despite the lack of response he got. However, he immediately realized his mistake by asking that question since they never talked about Donghae again after the incident. "Ah! i'm sorry Kyuhyun-ah. I didn't mean to re..."

"Nah, it's okay. I won't see him. Its too hard for me if I meet him."

Kyuhyun took something from his bedside drawer and hesitantly gave it to Ryeowook.

"Will you do me a favor? I want you to give him this letter." Then he went out from the room.

Ryeowook felt bad for his closed friend however he could do nothing to make it better. "What did you write him, Kyuhyun-ah?" he asked to himself while looking down to the letter. He carefully opened the envelope and took out the paper in it. He was surprised because what he saw there was far away from his expectation. Instead of long farewell letter, there was only a simple question written on the paper.

"Will you come with me and live together in New York?"

Ryeowook thought Kyuhyun had given up on Donghae, but apparently he was wrong. However, somehow he knew Kyuhyun wouldn't give up that easily.

When Ryeowook went down to the living room, Kyuhyun was playing the piano. He wanted to ask Kyuhyun about the letter but decided to leave it off. He knew Kyuhyun was not in the mood to talk about his precious one. After all, Kyuhyun had already made a decision and he agreed with it. So he just sang along with Kyuhyun and the melodious tunes from the piano.

 I wish it was you ,

the person who will laugh with me

I wish it was you ,

the person who will walk with me

I wish it was you - on our way

back home in the late evening ,

The one person who will passionately hug me

I'm afraid it will all disappear if I tell you

So I've hidden these words without anyone knowing

I really wish it was you ,

do you know how I feel ?

Because my love is like breathing , I can not hide it

I can not let go of you ,

who is turning away right now

It hurts but for you , I need to say goodbye now

I'm afraid it will all disappear if I tell you

So I've hidden these words without anyone knowing

I really wish it was you ,

do you know how I feel ?

Because my love is like breathing , I can not hide it

I can not let go of you ,

who is turning away right now

It hurts but for you , I need to say goodbye now

There is just so much to say

But I can not say it and I miss you

so I call your name again

I wish it was me ,

the person who is next to you right now

I can not let go of you , who is turning away right now

It hurts but for you , I need to ...

For you , I need to say goodbye now

Ryeowook was not sure whether he should give the letter to Donghae or not. He worried that Donghae wouldn't even care about it. He didn't want to aggravate Kyuhyun's situation. Moreover, he didn't know how to give the letter without meeting Hyukjae. Maybe he should ask Sungmin's help.

"This is our final deal, Kyu. I will help you for the very last time. I will bring Donghae to you.”

---

Kyuhyun had promised a meeting with Siwon that day. He wanted to give a proper goodbye for everyone he knew. Though Siwon was so excited when Kyuhyun came to his house, he also felt sad and upset knowing the reason why Kyuhyun had asked for the meeting.

"You're not coming back to Korea?" Siwon asked his curiosity.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Even though Kyuhyun did not answer his question, Siwon clearly knew the answer.

“It’s Donghae, isn’t it? I can’t believe you guys would end up like this.”

“Do you honestly believe what you’ve just said?” Kyuhyun retorted.

“Eh?”

“Nah…forget it.”

“Kyu, I know I’d made a lot of mistakes to destroy your relationship with Donghae back then, but I do really hope that you guys will be together again.” Siwon honestly said.

“Together again? I don't even have a gut to meet him now since that day. It is so hard and difficult for me to even dreaming about him.”

“Kyu…”

“I am scared. I feel scared whenever I hear his name.” Kyuhyun said without showing any expressions.

“What makes you scared?” Siwon asked anxiously.

“Myself.”

“…”

“There were times in my life when I covered up my ears and everything was fine, but some other times I began to hear and everything was gone. I could handle it when it was only friends, but when I lost my faith, I could no longer know who I am.”

“Kyuhyun…” Siwon tried to approach Kyuhyun but Kyuhyun quickly avoided him.

“I’m here just to let you know about my departure and ask you to forget about me. I know how you feel about me, but again, I don't have a same feeling like yours. So please forget it.” Without warning, Kyuhyun left Siwon alone.

Siwon only sighed seeing Kyuhyun left his house.

"You still hate me, don’t you? It doesn't matter I’ve changed or not, the answer will remain the same."

***

Ryeowook came along with Kyuhyun to Yesung and Shindong’s apartment. Yesung felt sorry for Kyuhyun and so did Shindong. Though Shindong didn't say a word, he understood how sad Kyuhyun was and supported his decision to leave. He simply thought that either one of Kyuhyun and Donghae had to leave for their sakes and turned out Kyuhyun chose to be the one.

Contrast to what Shindong did, Yesung tried several ways to stop Kyuhyun. Nevertheless, Kyuhyun had made his decision and had no intention to change it. If there was someone whom he would listen to and made him stay, it was no other than Lee Donghae.

Kyuhyun didn't want people pity him so he placed a fake smile on his face and acted as if he was strong enough. Nonetheless, people were not deceived by it.  

“Who else do you want to meet?” Wooky asked as they were leaving Yesung and Shindong’s apartment.

“I’ve made an appointment with him but you don't have to company me, I’ll meet him alone.”

“Who is that?”

“Kim Kibum.”  

Ryeowook only nodded understandingly.

Kyuhyun entered the café where Kibum was waiting for him. Although at first he had no intention to meet Kibum as he thought it was not necessary to inform him about his departure, he changed his decision since he realized how Kibum had helped him to get back with Donghae. He occupied a seat facing Kibum.

“I missed you.” Kibum said teasingly once Kyu sat in front of him.

“Sorry to disappoint you, cause I didn't.” Kyuhyun replied.

“If you said so, then why are you here and looking for me?”

“I just want to be polite by informing you about my departure to New York. I’m leaving for good.”

“Back to New York? When?”

“This Sunday. Three more days from now.”

“Seriously?”

“I’ve heard that a lot, that same exact question. Well, sort of.”

“Then what about Donghae?”

“He’ll be fine without me.”

“And you? Will you be fine without him?”

“Never ask a question when you already know the answer.” Kyuhyun answered lazily.

“So what’s the point?”

“The point is he doesn't want to meet me anymore.”

“How did you know? Are you sure he doesn't want to meet you?”

Kyuhyun didn't answer the question.

“Cho Kyuhyun, you asked me to meet you here to have a talk. Then talk!”

“Lay it off. Forget it.”

“What???”

“I am not joking. Just ignore it, do you understand?” Kyuhyun sighed while playing with his untouched drink.

“Are you sure it’s because Donghae doesn't want to see you again? Or it is you who want to forget about him?” Kibum ignored Kyuhyun’s warn.

“Both, but I’m not really sure with the second one since it is almost impossible to forget about him.”

“See? No matter what you do, no matter where you go, Donghae will stay firmly in your heart.”

“Hey, perhaps you can tell me how to forget him?” Kyuhyun asked playfully.

“Yes, there is only one way to do so. It is when you’re dead.” Kibum answered jokingly.

Kyuhyun knew Kibum was only making a joke but somehow he also knew that it was true.

“Hey, I’m kidding! After all, I don't think it’s not necessary for you to forget about him.”

No response came from Kyuhyun.

“May I ask you one thing? What is it that makes you can’t be with him? Think about it carefully and find the right answer.”

Kyuhyun thought about it carefully and tried to find the right answered as Kibum told him to.

“It is because he gave up on me. He felt tired recalling him memories back and afraid it won’t return forever.” Kyuhyun replied sadly.

“That’s it???”

Kyuhyun nodded and Kibum spontaneously laughed.

“What’s so funny huh?”

“Hey, listen to me. If that is the reason, then it doesn’t mean you can’t be with him. The thing is he still loves you! Even when you were Kyujhi, he fell in love with you, didn't he? Of course he is tired but he shouldn't have gave up on you. It’s your job to make him survive because you are his strength.” Kibum tried to crack Kyu’s stubborn head.

“But he doesn't want to see me…” Kyuhyun’s voice sounded so sketchy.

“No, I don't think it’s true. I’m pretty sure he didn't mean it like that. It’s not over, you and him are not over.”

“What do you mean? What are you trying to say?”

“Can’t you wait a little bit longer?” Kibum sounded like pleading.

“Wait, I’ve been spending my life waiting for him. How much longer do I have to wait? No one knows when he will have his memories back. So how long should I wait? Even if he has his memories back, there is no guarantee that he wants to come back with me! It’s not only him who feel tired but I also am!” Kyuhyun raised his voice.

“Are you blaming him now?” Kibum didn't like Kyuhyun’s words. “I know you are tired too. You, Donghae, Hyukjae, everyone is tired! But you can’t blame Donghae for what is going on with him now. He is away more tired than everyone.”

“I’m not blaming him. I’m just saying that I’m tired too.”

“Still, you are blaming him indirectly.”

Kyuhyun couldn't deny it.

“I’d tried to fix everything. I’d tried it hard!” Kyuhyun continued.

“He had also tried as hard as you did!”

"Kim Ki Bum!"

“Kyuhyun, if only I were you. You know what? Seeing you both are giving up each other like this, I really want to take Donghae with me.”

“Then what’s stopping you??” Kyuhyun teased Kibum.

“You are so stupid! It is because I am not you. It is you the one he chose to love, not me!”

“But you were his first love!” Kyuhyun replied curtly.

“Well, that is exactly true! I was the one his first love. If I didn’t leave him, maybe Donghae will remain with me now and I swear he wouldn’t fall in love with you!” Kibum began furious.

“Good! You can have him now!”

“Are you sure?” asked Kibum.

“Of course I am! I meet you today to say goodbye, remember?” Kyuhyun gave Kibum a fake smile.

“Cho Kyuhyun, I have to admit that out of all the people in this world, it is only you that I wish for Donghae. It is you that have to be beside him.”

"But why?"

"It is because there is no one else in this cruel world would sacrifice his life for him as much as you did. You gave him a true love that made him happy. You gave up you dream for him. You even lived behind the bars for years just to take a revenge for him.”

“People normally do that for their loved ones. Either it is a good or bad thing.” Kyuhyun was quite flattered by what Kibum said.

“Go see him.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t believe myself, I’m afraid that I won’t let him go if I meet him.”

“Maybe he’ll do the same. Who knows? You will regret it then.”

“That is so impossible.”

“I’ll pray for you, so stay here a little bit longer.”

Siwon, Yesung and Shindong pleas for him to stay did not affect Kyuhyun. However, Kibum had shaken his firm decision to leave. He believed what Kibum said was true that his love story with Donghae was not yet over. There was a possibility where Donghae would get better and give him another chance. Kyuhyun knew that deep inside his heart, he did not want to leave Donghae. The greater distance between Donghae and him, the deeper the wound in his heart, and he couldn’t ever heal it. 

That night, he got a surprise. Lee Hyukjae came to his house. Though he didn’t know what Hyukjae’s intention was, he knew it must be very important for the said man to come to his house. He kept silent when Hyukjae was taking a good look of his living room with awe.

“Rumor has it that you’re going back to New York. Is it true?” Hyukjae started the conversation and broke the thick silence between both.

“Yes, it’s true. Who told you that?” Kyuhyun asked curiously.

“Donghae’s first love. Kim Kibum. He told me that his rival is leaving Korea for good. That is indeed a good news for me but it is not for Kibum.”

“Why are you here Hyukjae?”

“It’s nothing. Just to make sure that the news is not only a rumor.” Hyukjae laughed. 

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m leaving for sure.” Kyuhyun said firmly.

“Why? Are you giving up on Donghae?”

“I assume Kibum already told you everything.”

Hyukjae nodded as an answer.

“Lee Hyukjae, what is exactly you want to say to me? Just speak to the point and stop trying to make me angry.”

Hyukjae smiled.

“Cho Kyuhyun, you know you are not the only person who love Donghae. Those people are always willing to sacrifice something valuable only for him. Your departure will bring advantages for them, particularly for Kibum…and…for me.”

Kyuhyun was surprised by Hyukjae sudden confession. “You are saying…you…love Donghae?”

“I’ve loved him since I was 17 years old.” Hyukjae answered honestly.

“You are lying. If you love him, then why didn’t you confess to him and get together? You were with Siwon instead!”

“I never loved Siwon. I didn’t confess to Donghae because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Therefore, I just love him secretly ever since. When I knew him with Kibum, I tried to throw away my feeling and got together with Siwon. I’d tried so hard to forget about him and learn to love Siwon instead, but I failed. It was too hard for me and became harder when you and him were together.” Hyukjae confessed his true feeling towards Donghae.

Kyuhyun was so confused and didn’t know how to respond to Hyukjae confession.

“I was very hurt at that time, but it became more bearable whenever I saw him smiling, laughing and happy because of you. It was mildly humiliating for me to admit that you were the only person he truly loved.” Hyukjae paused.

“Everything went different once I knew you were cheating with Siwon. You made him cry almost every day. That’s why I hate you so much until now!” Hyukjae continued.

“Why didn’t you use that opportunity to take him away from me?”

“You are indeed one idiot guy. He loved you so much that he gave no space for anyone but you. And yet you said you are tired just because you have sacrificed a lot for him. But you forget that you are not the only one who did so. Kibum had sacrificed his life and I had sacrificed my feelings. We had done as much as you did.”

Kyuhyun silently looked at Hyukjae. He felt sorry and sad.

“You still want to go?” Hyukjae asked.

“Yes.” That was Kyuhyun’s simple answer.

“Don’t you want to know how is Donghae now?”

“I know he is fine with you and he’ll be fine without me.”

“What bout you then? Will you be okay? Are you even okay now?”

“Cant people stop asking me that same question over and over? I’m sure you already know the answer.”

“Don’t go.” Hyukjae said plainly and made Kyuhyun surprised.

“Eh?”

“I said don't go. Even though I’m happy if you leave but I won’t stop you if you want to stay.”

“What are you trying to say Hyukjae?”

Before Kyuhyun had the answer, Hyukjae left and only said, “Kyuhyun, you and him are made for each other. I want only you to be with him, not me and not anyone else.” He smiled and left Kyuhyun’s house.

Kyuhyun blankly stared at the closed door. Both Kibum and Hyukjae told him a same thing that they wanted him to stay and be with Donghae. It made him so confused since he thought those persons would be the happiest persons if he left and yet they tried to stop him. He began to doubt his decision to leave but at the same time he was not sure if Donghae would come back to him if he stay.

***

That night was his last night in Korea. The weather was so cold. Kyuhyun went out from his room lazily when Wooky was busy preparing a dinner for him. Kyuhyun felt so grateful for what Wooky had done to him all this time. After he took his dinner, he went back to his room and sighed when he looked at his suitcases. He still didn’t know whether he should leave or stay. He couldn’t imagine his life without Donghae in New York. He was in a deep thought until he heard Ryeowook was screaming. He got more surprised when Ryeowook opened his door harshly.

“KYUHYUN!!!” Wooky shouted his name.

“I hear your voice very well, don't need to shout.” Kyuhyun was annoyed.

"Someone is here to meet you." Wooky said breathlessly.

“Who is it? It is late already.”

“You have to meet him.” Wooky pulled Kyuhyun’s hand and led him out of the room but Kyuhyun brushed it off.

“I told you I don't want to meet anyone!” Kyuhyun yelled at Wooky.

“But Kyuhyun, he…”

“What? Is he Changmin?”

“NO!”

“Siwon?”

“It’s not him, Kyu!”

"Oh! Sungmin then?"

"No, it’s not Sungmin. He is…"

Before Ryeowook could finish his words, someone came and stood by Kyuhyun’s bedroom door.

“You don't want to meet me?” the said person interrupted.

"Lee Dong Hae???" Kyuhyun murmured. He was shocked. He thought that he was asleep and dreaming.

TO BE CONTINUED

Hello everyone, Kyuloveshae here ^^ First thing first, I need to apologize to our author because I was so busy to finish the chapter earlier. I went away for about a month and had great times with the boys (I’m showing off now, LOL). I got home 3 days ago and finishing the chapter right away. I wanted to finish it during my trips but turned out to be impossible to do so. Next, I feel so sorry to my lovely readers for making you guys waiting for a long time. I didn't mean it but I could do nothing to make it better and faster. I’m sincerely sorry. T.T I hope you guys still enjoy this story and keep waiting for the updates. I’ll do my best for the next chapter though I’m still busy. Oh, we are reaching our final chapter so please anticipate it. Lastly, thank you for our loyal readers and welcome for the new ones. ^^

Cheers for our lovely author, Stranger1503^^