Somewhere between Daehyun interfering and spending the majority of my free time with Jaebum, I had, unknowingly, really let myself go. When before, I had seen improvement across the restroom mirror, now, the monster from my elementary school past smirked in mock at me. With my disgusting face and voice, he whispered all the nightmares I wished never to happen.

This had to stop.

“Ready to go,” for the first time in a week, Daehyun had appeared before me, his bookbag slung carelessly across one shoulder, “Youngjae?”

Since Jaebum had begun walking me home, Daehyun had been unable to pull me away for our usual McDonalds meet up. For a week, I’d been able to escape the monstrosity that was calories. For a week, I’d been able to stray back to my habits at the public restroom. And just as I’d assumed I was beginning to lose the weight I’d gained meeting Daehyun, he was back to make it all worse again.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Daehyun. He did what he thought was the best, but he didn’t know much.

It wasn’t a secret in class that Daehyun only just barely ever passed school. Apart from eating and sports, he had nothing else going for him. In that pretty little head of his, there existed not a brain – but at least he was pretty.

So I didn’t blame Daehyun. He was a nice person. He just didn’t understand the worries and I had to face every day. Counting calories and taking excruciatingly long walks was totally foreign to him. So it wasn’t his fault that he was ignorant to my side of the world. After all, he had always been of a world totally distant to mine.

“Go? Go where?”

“Where? To McDonalds of course! Don’t tell me you forgot. I mean, we went nearly every day together, remember?”

I did. How could I forget? From the embarrassment he’d caused me, to the smiles and laughs he’d found I possessed, I didn’t think it was ever possible to forget. “Oh, that. I can’t. I’m busy today.”

It felt horrible lying to Daehyun. He didn’t deserve my lies.

But at the same time, I couldn’t keep up with him. I didn’t want to return to my nobody’s realm. I liked where I was, tucked in Jaebum’s arms for warm kisses and whispers of affection. Being with Daehyun, whilst happy, would make me a monster again; and then Daehyun would leave me as well.

It was for the better of both of us.

“Really?” His mood seemed to drop significantly at my rejection. “Maybe tomorrow then? Or the day after?”

Or how about never?

I fidgeted, toying with the hem of my uniform shirt, unable to meet his eyes. It didn’t feel right rejecting him; him who had laughed along with me while I was alone.

“Leave him alone Jung Daehyun, he doesn’t want to go.” A familiar pair of arms pulled me away, wrapping around my waist in one swoop. “He doesn’t want to go with you ever.”