Sometimes, when something too amazing happens, it’s impossible to believe anything actually happened at all.

That’s exactly what had happened to me.

It was impossible that Jaebum want someone like me. I was nothing in comparison to him, so why would he want a loser like me? Why me, when he could have someone like Jiyeon? Nothing made any sense anymore.

But truth be told, I liked it this way. I didn’t want anything to make sense if it meant being able to have him.

I was being completely selfish, but it was the way I wanted things to be.

“Youngjae? What’re you thinking about?”

Blinking out of my revere, I found Jaebum waving his hand in front of my face, his playful smirk coloring his features bright. It was nice, being woken out of my daydreams to such a happy smile, “Nothing.” But the thought that this could possibly be nothing but a mocking dream never failed to shake me to the core.

“Doesn’t look like nothing; you were way out there.”

I was thinking about how he would leave me. It was inevitable that Jaebum would leave me some day.

It was nice, basking in the warm afternoon sun during lunch breaks, leaned against Jaebum as he chatted with his friends. At first, it was a little odd, the sudden absence of air between us, but quickly, I adapted to it, learning to move my body with his, centering my world to his. After class, he would always wait for me at the door, his lips tugged up to a playful smirk that always made me swoon. Then, he would proceed to walk me home, his hand griped tightly around mine, swinging lightly between the two of us. Everything was perfect.

Too perfect. And it scared me to hell and back.

Park Jiyeon, the girl I had seen with Jaebum that one day, had never really liked me. Until now, we hadn’t a real reason to clash. She and I, after all, existed in total different worlds.

And that, that was the reason she hated my guts.

“Who are you to own JB like that?”

I was a nobody.

“He’s just playing you. I thought you should know that.”

The thought too had crossed me several times. Maybe I was nothing but a sick experiment to Jaebum; nothing but a joke to pass time and laugh over in the future. But with each hug and kiss, he’d somehow managed to sway my thoughts; I wanted to believe that he really did like me. Maybe Jiyeon was wrong.

“How could he like an idiot like you? It’s not possible.”

I thought maybe, if I closed my eyes and ignored what Jiyeon was saying, I’d be able to pretend everything was alright. Even with my books and desk littered with her pack’s warnings and threats, I’d still hoped for my happily ever after.

“Jaebum only like pretty girls like me.”

But who was I kidding? Jaebum could never like me.