When I wake up in the morning, I'm still clinging to Yongguk's pillow, though I have turned to face N who has wrapped himself around me, legs and all.

"It's just that with the way you are, you can be really scary… the only thing people are going to see are the teeth and the claws…"

N's words echo in my head and I furrow my eyebrows. Slowly I escape from his hold, replacing myself with a pillow to avoid waking him up. I don't want to talk to him right now. Honestly, I don't really want to talk to anyone right now. Slipping out the door, I go through what has quickly become my morning routine before making my way to N's office to root through all his books before finding one that looks familiar. I can't say that I'm mad, but I'm not incredibly impressed with him right now and certainly don't want to sit alone in his office with him.

As I wander about in search of a quiet place to read, I come across Hyuk who looks at me oddly.

"Where's N?"

"Still sleeping."

He raises an eyebrow. "And you're not?"

"I… need to work on this myself for a while."

"He pissed you off, didn't he?" Hyuk asks. I don't have to answer as he chuckles and grabs my elbow. "It's just books, so you should have enough room to sit in my ROVIXX; he won't think to look for you in there.

"He's annoying isn't he?" he continues as we head towards the hangar.

"Um…"

"But he's a good big brother! He's always cleaning up after everyone else and keeping everyone in line. He liked working with you while you were in Mato, actually. Even we could see that the way you ran things was pretty tight and your guys knew what to do when, especially when you consider that the Shelter is able to run without your constant direction."

"Youngjae's good at what he does," I reply, proud of my little brother. "If I had to pick someone to replace me, it would probably be him."

"Not Yongguk?" I shake my head slowly. "Really?"

"Yongguk and I are inseparable. If something were to happen to me…"

Hyuk studies my face before nodding slightly. "Whatever would have gotten to you would have gone through him first."

"What?" I'm shocked and the idea of Yongguk dying almost rips my heart in half. "I was going to say he wouldn't be the same person.Why would you even say that?"

"He seems to be more protective of you than your family."

"We are family."

Hyuk just shrugs. "Whatever you say."

Leaving me to my own devices, Hyuk instructs me on how to get out before waving goodbye. I don't know where he's going but at this point it doesn't really matter because I don't want to be out there. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it, but N's words stung. I flip open a book to read and it only takes a few moments to wish I'd asked Hyuk to stay and help.

In Mato, if you're bound for the mines, people don't bother teaching you how to read or write. I like to think I'm reasonably literate (and when I say reasonably anyone else would say barely) because of the time spent with Himchan before I went to the mines; it is the same with the others. I had been doing fine keeping up with all the lessons until now because I'd spent more time listening to N than reading the books. Nevertheless, I'm not going to ask him for help now, and as a result I spend well over two hours struggling through a single chapter, twenty-nine pages, of the book. I'm beating myself up for not taking a map to study instead. At least those I understand with their short notes and symbols scribbled everywhere.

I snap the book shut with a growl before letting myself out. I need to de-stress and as I head towards the training room, I decide I'm past the point of caring about what Hongbin will say. I've been full of pins and stitches for what feels like forever, my family is split up all over the map, the man I'm sleeping with says people are scared of me, my head is killing me, and I don't have Yongguk to talk with. Making my way over to the training room, I find it vacant. Good. I'm not particularly in the mood to deal with anyone at all anymore thanks to the frustration that book has caused me. Wandering in, I find a gun in the middle of the floor and stare in confusion for a moment. What the hell is wrong with people, leaving a gun on the floor? I put it away before looking around, wondering what all is here to work with, and it would be an understatement to say that I'm impressed. The mines are a dangerous place to bring guns, so unlike Yongguk, Jongup, and Daehyun I have no experience wielding them. It makes me glad to know that guns are only a small part of their arsenal as I see a wide assortment of bladed weapons available. Though the balance is good on the throwing knives, the simplistic design and crudeness of many of the blades leads me to believe that these were things they made themselves. It makes sense really. There's only so much space in the mountain and constantly bringing things in could pose a threat to their cover. Taking scrap metal to create their own weapons would only be logical. Beyond that I find one or two crossbows as well as a compound bow and a recurve. How old school are we? Still though, they don't have issues jamming or misfiring, not to mention they'd be almost completely silent which would help avoid attracting attention. On top of that bolts and arrows can be retrieved and used again. In a world where they can stop the rain to destroy countless lives, here we are fighting back with the weapons used by our ancestors almost two millennia ago.

My heart drops in my chest, though only for a moment. Thinking about our situation and how little we have to fight back with, how if we lose any of our weapons we will have no replacements, makes me wonder if we even have a chance in all this. Honestly though, with the way things are, I would rather die trying.

I have to get back on my feet, so to speak. Turning away from the weapons, I sit down in the middle of the floor and start stretching my legs. I still can't do much because of the stitches but I've been out for what feels like forever. I refuse to let myself become softer than I already have – I will rest when we are all free of this tyranny or when I die. Whichever comes first.

It is as I am deciding this that Ken comes in and stops when he sees me.

"I was just… there was a gun."

"I put it away."

"I see. Thank you." He stares at me for a moment. "Are you supposed to be doing that?"

"I'm not supposed to train. This isn't training. This is stretching."

He raises an eyebrow at me and nods slowly before exiting the room, careful to shut the door behind him. I'm barely alone with my own thoughts for five minutes when I'm interrupted again.

"What are you doing?" says a deeper voice behind me, his tone frosty.

I feel my spine stiffen involuntarily, though I force my voice to steady and carry an uncaring air. "Getting back into shape. I'm not good at pushing papers."

"No," he snaps. "You are not supposed to be "getting back into shape," you're supposed to be getting better."

His hand grips the back of my shirt and he hauls me up from the floor. Furious at being man-handled, I fight him off but as soon as I overextend to shove him away from me, pain rips through my shoulder. The grimace on my face must have given away my pain because he growls in frustration and crosses his arms.

"Are you done, or do you want to rip your arm open and start bleeding again, first? Because I promise you I won't be nice enough to give you more meds while I stitch you up again."

I glare at him, irritated. "I don't want to stop. I'm only stretching my legs, not my arms or shoulders. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"I think you tend to do things regardless of your own immediate well-being which is a very stupid thing to do, Bree. Now I know you have a lot more to learn, so why don't you head to N's office and go back to the maps and books?"

"No."

"If you can't be physically strong, you'll at least –"

"I said no. I don't want N's help right now."

"Then take a book."

"I did."

"Then what's the issue?! I really don't care what you decide to do, Bree. I just don't want you wrecking yourself again; I'm sick and tired of people going around and injuring themselves. No one ever ing listens to me. Ever. Go read the damn thing and keep yourself out of trouble!"

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"I already spent almost three hours with the damn thing."

"That's not bad. How much did you read?"

This time I stay silent. From talking to Daehyun, I know that almost everyone in VIXX is literate – even those without homes. For me to have lived for so long with food and shelter, even in those conditions, people here likely expect me to be as well. How bad will it look if the newest leader they chose turns out to be almost completely illiterate? My lips curl into a sneer.

"Enough."

My answer isn't what he wanted to hear though and he looks at me oddly. "What exactly did you read about?"

"Things."

"Bree," he starts tentatively, "are you… can you not read?"

"Pfft. What kind of a stupid question is that?"

Total avoidance and I know he's figured me out. "When you had papers to do down in the tunnels, you had Youngjae or Himchan helping you out, didn't you?"

" off." Cover blown.

"N is willing to –"

"I don't want his help!" I shout, now angry.

"Bree…"

"Why would I want help from the person who tells me I'm like some vicious wild animal that someone stuck in a cage? Why would I ask for help from them when they see me and all they think is "danger," huh?"

"Bree."

"No, I'm not listening to you right now. All you're going to do is tell me to –"

"Bree!"

"Bree?"

I feel like throwing up. I was so busy losing my temper with Hongbin that I didn't realise N had walked in and was standing right behind me. "."

"I think we need to talk," N says to me.

"No, I'm okay with just not talking."

"Fine then, I need to talk."

"You did enough of that yesterday."

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"I'm just going to go now," Hongbin mutters, walking swiftly towards the door.

N and I stand there staring at one another for a few moments.

"I didn't intend for you to take it that way, Bree. You know I have the utmost respect for you and everything you've been working so hard at with us, yet I misspeak once and you're pushing me away. What gives?" He takes a step forward and I shift away just a little, but he grabs my elbow. "No. Quit running. I knew from the moment we laid down last night that something was wrong because you curled up around a pillow instead of with me. How ever you interpreted what I said, I promise you I didn't mean to offend you. I should have worded it better."

I stay silent, but I stop moving back as he comes closer and he rests his hands on either side of my face. "I really am sorry. I don't think you're vicious wild animal in a cage. Forgive me?"

I look away from him and mumble incoherently, making him laugh. "I'm assuming that was a positive answer, since you haven't kneed me in the groin. Come on. I doubt you've eaten anything since breakfast."

And with that I'm suddenly being steered out of the room, his arm wound around my waist.

We don't stay long in the kitchen, grabbing some potato patties before heading back to N's office and all the maps I've become so familiar with seeing strewn across his desk.

"I brought them out this morning because I figured I would be helping you." I nod slowly and leave his side to go sit in his chair. "I heard what you and Hongbin were arguing about. He didn't close the door when he barged in. Bree, if you want me to help you…"

"When the war is over, maybe. Just talk and I'll listen. I'll learn."

He nods with an understanding smile on his face. Shuffling the maps off to the side, he sits on the desk and starts talking. It's a long afternoon that runs into the evening and by the end I feel like my brain is melting out my ears. Sure, I've absorbed all the information thrown at me but that's the problem: there's just so much that I never knew I didn't know.

"We should leave it there for today," N says finally as he stretches his back. I can't blame him for being sore – a desk doesn't make a good seat. "Want to go get something to eat?"

"I don't wanna move. I feel sleepy."

N sighs overdramatically before he laughs lightly and leans down to squish my cheeks between his palms. "Stay here for a bit then. I will bring something back and we can just eat here."

"Okay, just let go of my face," I mumble with difficulty.

With a final laugh, he stands up and his long legs carry him quickly out of the room. This guy…