I'm still thinking about him and that mysterious piece of paper. The words linger on my thoughts longer than I expect it to be. I didn't know Jonghyun could write those beautiful lines. But what made me ponder is where did he get the inspiration to write those words. I felt that he had experienced bad things before... No! I thought. He's just quiet but not the Emotional type. ^^

          I wonder where they are at this hour. I think I went to school quite early today; there weren't many people on the premise.

          7:48 AM the clock says. Yeah~ I am early. I walked towards the dormitory, maybe I'll try to sleep some more. When suddenly…

          "YA! Jillin Kim!" I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looked at the source of that high-pitched scream. Two girls were talking or fighting rather at the lobby.

          "Stop shouting Yoo-Seon. I know I did some things a little over the top, like asking them to play there again, but I know that... I know it will help So-" I remember these two girls. One is the persistent girl who was dumped by Minhyuk and Jungshin, and the other one was CNBlue fan girl.

          "Ya... I know you still feel guilty about that night, but please... Just please... Snap out of it. You're making me... no... You're making us feel miserable, too. So, just stop doing these kind of things Jillin. We all have to move on…" after that, the both of them were silent, suddenly an old man went near and told them to settle their nonsense outside, they're making too much noise inside the dormitory. So they did what they were told and just went outside. I was about to follow them when I felt that my body needs rest more than my curiosity needs confirmation.

          I continued to walk towards my room. It was the same as I left it. My bed wasn't fixed and my things are all over the place. ^^ I don't have time to clean my own room. I don't want others to step inside my room and fix it for me. So the ending was this, my room still looked the same.

          I went to my desk where I found the piece of paper that belongs to Jonghyun. I stared it for a while and place it back on the desk. The memory of that night was still in my head, the inspirational message from Yonghwa, and the almost introduction to Jonghyun. More importantly, I got that piece of paper by accident. Maybe he was writing a letter to someone before Yonghwa came, and because Yonghwa was  rushing him, he forgot that he was writing a letter. I was about to hand it over to him that same night, but I was shy and when I finally had the courage to give it to him, Minhyuk came and called him. Together, they went back to their dormitory. What a waste of opportunity, too many chances that I didn't grab. I'm supposed to be angry at myself now, because of all those wasted chances, but instead I felt that I'm lucky enough that I could be near them, and just be with them for the whole day without anyone asking me what I'm doing following them around. It almost feels like I'm invisible, but in a good way. Every stalker's dream was to be invisible, or that was only me. ^^

          I stretched and walked over my bed. Suddenly my eyes and body responded to my thoughts. I was quickly put to sleep...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

FANGIRLS SCREAMING~

"Good evening everyone! We are CNBlue!"

          "Did you see how Jungshin stared at me when we called him. Kyaa~ I almost fainted. His eyes are so pretty. He really is beautiful." Yoo Seon said.

          "But they really looked different at school. Only Minhyuk has the same aura, whether it is a classic recital or a rock and roll concert. The instrument he’s using is the difference. But, he is still very Lovely." Jillin said.

          "Ya! So Eun-ah~ what's wrong with you? You are quiet. Anything wrong?" Yoo Seon asked a girl named So Eun.

          "Nothing... Just... It was my first time seeing them like that. They were quite cool." So Eun stated. She was smiling and started reminiscing the concert. She was so into it that Yoo Seon had to shake her to bring her back to reality.

         "Wow So Eun! You really became a true BOICE after seeing them live, aren't you?" Yoo Seon . She just stared at Yoo Seon and nodded happily. The three of them laughed and continued to talk, their comments about the concert and CNBlue, afterwards they went to a nearby cafe.

          "So~ So Eun, who is your bias?" Jillin asked while eating muffin. So Eun was not prepared to answer that kind of question, it was her first time seeing them perform like that so she can’t think of anyone of them to be her bias. She was barely thinking and just said, "I think I like all of them." Yoo Seon sent deadly gazes to So Eun. "Only I can do that So Eunnyaa ~ You have to choose one and focus all your attention ONLY to him. kk~" She was doing some aegyo at So Eun which she finds very annoying. She went to thinking again, but now she was recalling some moments at the concert. "Yonghwa... he is not really my type. Hmm... Jungshin is too tall for me. Minhyuk is too cute for me..."

          "JONGHYUN!?" Yoo Seon and Jillin said in unison.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

          I woke up from another weird dream. But this time, I remembered all of those… It happened to me… I guess... It was like my brain want to remember something, and that dream helped a little.

            It’s coming back to me now. That day was special for me. I was celebrating something special… But I still can’t remember… I have to go look for Yoo Seon and Jillin. They were my friends. I’m sure they could help me with my dilemma. I quickly got up from my bed and stopped to pick up the piece of paper that belonged to Jonghyun, in case I’ll see him on my way. It was then that I realized that I’m at the dormitory; I can see Jonghyun here and give this paper to him. I walked outside and headed to his room.

                        SIGN: LEE JONGHYUN

            I was about to knock when the door opened, I got scared and just closed my eyes but when I opened them, I saw no one. I pushed the door further and saw his room. It was empty. Maybe he already left. It was a good chance for me to leave this paper at his desk. Actually for a musician like him, his room was quite humble. I mean, it was just like any other university students’ dorm. It was simple, I was expecting it to be a bit interesting. I placed the paper in between the pages of a notebook on his desk. The notebook looked like the one he always bring in classes. When I read what’s written on that notebook, I was amazed on how well Jonghyun can write beautiful words together.

I’ve always see you.

Thank you for your gentle smile.

I would like to tell you only this feeling of thankfulness…

For watching over me so far...

Until now, I can stillremember your gentle smile.

The meaning of moving forward I can understand it now… Thank you…

            If I were to receive that thank you, I would really appreciate it. Those words… Jonghyun must’ve been really grateful to that person, for him to write a song about it.

            I’m at the front of the auditorium, and I didn’t even realize that I walked towards here. The students still celebrate the school’s foundation day. Today is Maestro Kyoung-gyu’s performance. I was able to notice because of the long queue in front of the auditorium’s main entrance. A girl I know was walking away from the crowd with a disturbed look on her face. It was Jillin. I followed her, until she was behind the front gate of the university. She looked like she will meet someone here. I waited also, but I hide from Jillin’s vision. I was at the back of a big tree.

            “Jillin… Sorry that I have to call you here.” a guy said. Jillin shook her head and smiled faintly. “Actually, I was thinking about your invitation. I know, the others rejected you already… You know what happened to us after that night do you? We’re just being careful… Please understand that.” he said. “But Jonghyun… You guys, really have to play there on that day.” she insisted. Her voice was already shaky and her eyes are red. Jonghyun knows that she was about to cry. So he just simply said, “I’ll try to convince the others. My song was not yet finished. I’ll try to finish it before that day came. So, please trust me… Believe in us…” After that, he tried to comfort Jillin with a gentle tap on her shoulders. She looked at him, and forced to smile. In return, Jonghyun also gave her a smile.

            What was that about?

That night…? Is it the same night… that I…