As soon as you settled in your new home, you  couldn't help but feel satisfied that everything went so smoothly. You couldn't wait to settle down and finally start anew. This is what you always wanted but somehow something didn't feel right. Everything was foreign. However, you knew this wasn't enough to forget about him. Whenever you close your eyes, you could only see Luhan. Right then, you never felt so desperate to see darkness whenever your eyes rest. 

That night, you hugged your bolster so tightly. You've been so lonely these past few days but you pretended everything was fine. In your sleep, you could see only Luhan and his sweet smile. His kisses used to drive you crazy but without it, you felt like you were going insane and mental. Sobs echoed throughout the entire little house you had. 

Few days passed and you mostly stayed at your house which felt like you were living like a hermit. Finally having the courage to welcome the new and strange surroundings, you dressed up and arranged yourself. You tried your best to paint away the eyebags that were so visible without a concealer. As soon as you opened your door, the cool air hit your face, entering your stuffy house like a swarm of bees attacking a person. Inhaling the air never felt so painful. It stung your nose and the way it entered your chest just made you feel so alive. But that wasn't what you wanted. You wanted to feel numb but of course, you can't. 

Following the agenda you have planned while you were in Korea before you started looking for a job, you went to the famous London Bridge. As you walked passed people of different personalities- some wearing boring clothes and some wearing colours so bright that you almost regretted not wearing the sunglasses that you bought in the airport- you felt like all your depression went away.

You loved the hour walk to the bridge. It cleared your thoughts which you thought felt so healing. After you took in the scenery, you went to get a cup of coffee. The wind that chilled your skin made you crave for the warmth of an embrace but you shook your head before you were engulfed by a tsunami of sadness. After getting your coffee, you took a seat near the cafe window. 

Sudden thoughts of you and Luhan playing around in the cafe back in Korea attacked you like a plague. Not wanting to cry, you swallowed your hot coffee which scalded your tongue. You almost slammed the cup down but you thought of how much it would cost to pay a mug, so you just huffed and put your mug down. 

"Be careful," a voice said, amusement obvious in his tone.

The voice