Months passed which felt like decades to you. Every hour of every day, you were always waiting for Luhan to surprise you at your house and tell you to pack your bags because he'll be taking you away.

It's not like you haven't had contact with him, you actually have. You both constantly messages each other but the real thing was better. You prefer him to be by your side; to hold and cuddle with you. You just missed his scent and his "unpredictable" motives to kiss you.

You missed every single thing about him. Usually, you'll sulk but waiting for 17 months, going to a year and a half, had got into you. You told yourself there was no point in giving people your saddened face so you presented a better you to them. Faking a smile had never been your forte but ever since Luhan came into your life, it became some kind of a profession you are getting very good at.

---

At your graduation, you wished that your mother and Luhan was there to see you but of course, as usual, what you expected didn't come true. But it just became a habit- wishing something that you want so badly. When you were to take your baton, you gave the whole school a bright smile and presented the happy you. You waved at your father who was clapping his hands like there was no tomorrow. Tears escaped his eyes and you smiled softly at him. 

When you came down the stage, you went to your seat and waited for the valedictorian to finish his speech. The moment he said his last word, you stood up and went running to your father to hug him. He accepted you openly and gave back the hug. 

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered to you.

"You too, dad."

He cupped your face and kissed your forehead. Pride was shining his eyes. He was happy to see you go and become the person you want to be. For you, you were just proud that he manage to go through everything without the person that used to be his world. 

The graduation almost distracted you from the pain in your chest but it came back as soon as Chanyeol and Soomi called you up to celebrate. You agreed happily but inside you were dying. You didn't want to see them; the happy couple. It just made you want to curl up in your bed and cry out the longing for Luhan. 

It didn't help that Luhan had suddenly stopped communicating as much as before. You understood that he was busy with a lot of things. "It's for the best," you always tell yourself. You hypnotised yourself that everything was alright when it's the exact opposite. You didn't think that it was other's burden to bear what you were going through so you told no one of what you felt and just locked it tight inside. It wasn't easy but not saying much about yourself was a habit that's hard to break.

"How's Luhan?" Chanyeol asked, while taking a sip of his cocktail.

You gave a lopsided smile which didn't reach your eyes and shrugged, "He's fine."

Soomi raised an eyebrow, not wanting to believe you and said, "You haven't been talking, have you?"

You shrugged again with a smile, "It's nothing."

"No," Chanyeol disagreed, "It's not nothing. This is eating you up inside."

You bit your tongue to stop yourself from snapping back. It wasn't their business so you thought that they should just leave it and move on with some other stuffs.

"Su-"

Not able to take it anymore, you sighed, "Please,