"What I'm trying to say is..." Nicole bit her lips, wishing the words didn't come out " is that, let's both not start a beginning just to see it end." With that Nicole headed home. Jaebeom stood shock. Disappointment raised deep inside his body, he felt his face burn with anger. He turned to watch Nicole walk right out of his life. This time it was him watching her from a distance. This time it was her who didn't know Jaebeom.

As Nicole enter her house silently. Towards everything she slammed the door shut behind her. Nicole fell on her two knees, tears raced down her pink cheeks.

**********FlashBack**************

"Ohh, so SeungYeon havent' told you..." the girls start to look at one another "Remember that night, when you were so call kidnapped"


"It was SeungYeon who told those boys to do that too you!" the girl yelled, and gave a smirk laugh as they left.

"I don't understand?" Jaebeom quickly grabbed for Nicoles hands. "Why are you telling me this? Why are you acting like this? What have I done wrong?" Nicole push away Jaebeoms hands

" is that, let's both not start a beginning just to see it end."

**********End of FlashBack*******

"Everything is just so messed up.." Nicole whisper as her tears came as they pleased. "In all these years of thinking you know who your true friends are. Now just to see it all down the drain..." Nicole let out a loud cried "and in the middle of it all you're left alone..you're the one shutting him out..." There was a knock on the door. Nicole sat up straight wiping away the tears quickly.

"Who is it?" Nicole question loudly....no one answered. Another knock. Nicole's heart pounded. "Who is it?" Nicole asked once more.

"Its...its me SeungYeon..." SeungYeon finally gave in. "Nicole I know you don't want to talk right now...but I could explain.." SeungYeon sounded helpless. "Please?"

Nicole stopped. Her hands on the lock, ready to open the door.

"SeungYeon-Ah..." Nicole talked through the door. "I'm still..."

"Mad?" SeungYeon question..."Please Nicole...I'm here begging you at your door to let me in."

Nicole twisted the lock and pulled the door open to find SeungYeon on her knees.

"SeungYeon-Ah!" Nicole grabbed for SeungYeon to stand up."Get up what are you doing!" SeungYeon stood up with tears in her eyes."Come in" Nicole forced SeungYeon inside the house. The two sat in Nicole's room in silence.

"Nicole"
"SeungYeon"

Then silence went on once again.

"I'll just start then" Nicole slowly spoke. "Whatever you tried to do to me, I'm still mad..."

"What are you talking about?" SeungYeon stared at Nicole. "If you're talking about that night...I never did anything."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Nicole stood up."Did you not think that I didn't hear what those girls were saying? Huh?!" Nicole felt her voice rising.

"Nicole you never heard my side of the story!" SeungYeon fought back through her words. "You think I'll really put your life on the line? You think I'm that low? You think I'm that horrible of a person?"

"Fine then tell me what really happened?!"

"How could it be me, when I was with Jessica the whole day? How can it possibly be me when I was planning Jaebeom's surprise party? How could it be me when I don't even talk to those girls?! How can you assume me just because of what they said?" SeungYeon's voice high and loud "Why would I do that to hurt you? And for what reason do I have to do that too you especially?"

"SeungYeon..." Nicole felt stupid,"I..I..I don't know what to say..."

"I came here not to ask you to forgive me, I came here to tell you I didn't do anything...I'm not asking to be forgive, I'm not pleading my guilt when I haven't been guilty." SeungYeon stood up and walked towards Nicole "I came here to save a friendship that was falling, because of some stupid words, those cheerleaders had said." SeungYeon handed the Lock necklace back to Nicole "But if you're mad, if you're even disappointed in me...or if you just assumed and believed what others said..then take it back, take this back" SeungYeon nudge the lock towards Nicole's hands.."I don't want to keep this if you're unhappy...I don't want to know my own best-friend even doubted me..because out of all people I would have thought you'll be the last to think of me this low." SeungYeon placed the necklace on Nicoles palms and headed out the room. Nicole could her the door shutting downstairs.

Night came fast, Nicole lay in bed with the lock clench in her hands. She thought of everything SeungYeon had said. She remember the face of the cheerleader that had came and said all those things.

"...I have class with that girl.." Nicole question herself..."whats her name again?..." Nicole sat silently thinking and thinking...then suddenly "her name is Park Gy..Park Gyuri!" Nicole sat up quickly putting the puzzle together. "She's the only cheerleader that hates me..the only one that always whisper and glares at me and SeungYeon...she's the only one that came up to me that night at the party with...with Jaebeom...she was the one who...who left those marks on the desk that day when I got detention...she was the only one I've seen talking to those boys...The only cheerleader that was missing that day when I stared out the window..." Nicole grab her phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"...Its me Nicole.."

"oh...did you need something?"

"Are you tired?"

"Ni.."

"I'm sorry...I know its late, but I'm here on the other line pleading my guilt...SeungYeon I'm really sorry that I ever assumed you..."

"Nicole...its okay I can never be mad at you." SeungYeon gave a chuckle. "Its late lets talk this over breakfast tomorrow?"

"Okay Goodnight."

************************

Nicole grabbed for her bag, it was Friday...the date her and Jaebeom had agreed to was getting closer. But before anything could happen she knew she had to fix things with him. She walked out the door, heading off to school. As she enter the school gate everything seemed different, students weren't chatting like the usual days before. Everyone whispering as low as they could. No one staring at Nicole, no glares no giggles. Nicole spotted SeungYeon and walked towards her.

"SeungYeon..whats going on here?" Nicole question.

"Nicole...you didn't hear yet?" SeungYeons voice became nervous."There was a shooting here last night...while...while practice was still going on.."

"SeungYeon is anyone hurt?" Nicole's voice falter, all she could think about was Jaebeom...of what she had said, of what he had felt. How she had hurt him..."Is Jaebeom okay?"

"What are you talking about Nicole?!" SeungYeons voice started to crack, and rose up "Its Taecyeon oppa.." SeungYeon crashed down on her knees. Nicole suddenly remember...on her way to school Taecyeon wasn't waiting for her...

"Where is he?!" Nicole quickly grab SeungYeon..."Is he okay?"

"They don't know yet.." SeungYeon stared into Nicoles helpless eyes. Everyone stared as Nicole helped SeungYeon back on her feet.

"How pathetic" Gyuri grin.

"What did you say?" Nicole glared at Gyuri.

"I said how pathetic." Gyuri repeated herself. "What you have a problem with that? Huhh?"

"Let me make myself clear to you and your little cheerleading girls, you guys are the pathetic ones trying to in to someones life. You're the pathetic ones that can't hold your ground. Next time you try to mess with my life, I'll surely make sure you'll mess up yours too." With that Nicole and SeungYeon headed out of the crowd and into an empty space. "SeungYeon he's going to be okay...trust me"

"What if he's not" SeungYeon was now staring down with tears in her eyes. "I want to believe everything would be okay like how you and me always say...but this time what if..what if everything goes wrong?"

"Nicole-Ah!!" Hara ran towards the girls. "Nicole-Ah!!"

"What is it Hara?" Nicole quickly walked towards Hara who was out of breathe.

"It's Taecyeon...he's..he's.." Nicole stared into the crowd, from the faces she knew something was wrong...she felt her heart melt...she stared as Hara was talking now, but her ears were somewhere else. Somewhere she knew it was suppose to be, the announcement on the overcome.

"Students please head back home, there will be no school, I repeat NO SCHOOL!" everyone started to head out, some happy some dissatisfied and wanted to know more. Nicole could see the cops and ambulance at the soccer field and at the back of the school.

"SeungYeon lets go home" Nicole stared back at SeungYeon who was still sitting down. Hara gave Nicole a hug and headed out. SeungYeon stood up and walked away from Nicole, silence only the wind and the foot steps of students all trying to get home. "SeungYeon-Ah!!" Nicole gave out a yell, SeungYeon still didn't turn back.

"OMGG!" One of the students yelled, "they found someone !!" Everyone that hadn't left yet all crowded infront of the cop and the student they had found hiding in the basement. SeungYeon stop and turned around, Nicole turn back too find Jaebeom, her heart pounding, her face burning with happiness that Jaebeom was safe. But if Jaebeom was at school yesterday Night when the shooting happened then...Nicole ran towards Jaebeom. Nicole placed herself in his chest and hugged him tightly. Jaebeom looked at Nicole who had tears in her eyes...

"Tell me...Taecyeon Oppa is fine" Nicole's question trembled Jaebeom. "Please tell me he's alright" Jaebeom placed his right hands around Nicole's body and his left hand on her head.

"Nicole...he..he didn't make it." SeungYeon felt her heart drop, the morning that seemed worst only seems to get worse. Jaebeom's words burned her ears, like the way fire burns the heart. "He...he took the bullet right to the heart." Jaebeom's voice started to shake..."There was only a couple of us left, we stayed back to practice late...& the guy the guy, he was drunk and wanted money we pushed him away, and he had threatened us me, Junsu, and Junho...if it wasn't for Taecyeon then...I'm sure..."

"It would've been you instead?!" SeungYeon cried, she walked towards Jaebeom and pulled Nicole away from him, she stood tears gushing down her face, facing Jaebeom. "Oppa...there was three of you & you guys couldn't stop a man that was drunk but decided to use Taecyeon as a shield ?!" Everyone stared at them as SeungYeon spoke louder every time a word came out. SeungYeon punched Jaebeom's chest once and he grabbed her into his arms and held her tightly while she tried to break free.

"SeungYeon...I'm so sorry if I could go back in time, I would've taken that bullet instead." Jaebeom's face started to shed tears...

"Oppa..but sorry doesn't bring him back" SeungYeon quietly wept in Jaebeom's arms. "I have yet to told him how I feel for him...I have yet show him what lies behind these tears, why I'm crying so much...I haven't told him that I would like to be with him. I haven't held his hands, I haven't gotten to be in his arms....Jaebeom...what am I going to do now?"

"Its okay, you'll be okay...." Jaebeom hugged her tighter.

That weekend was spent at Taecyeon's funeral, Nicole sat no tears, no face expression. SeungYeon was sitting next to Jaebeom who was comforting her. As they buried Taecyeon's body, Nicole saw as SeungYeon buried her face into Jaebeom's arms. After the ceremony was over Nicole headed home. Nicole started to dialed, the phone rang and rang...

"Hello"

"Oppa"

"Gotchu!" The voice laughed on the other Line.

"Because you have to leave me a message, I'm either not able to pick up your call or just sleeping...Leave me a nice message and I'll get right back at you as soon as possible, thank you beep" Nicole followed Taecyeon's voice.

"Oppa..." Nicole's voice trembled "Call me as soon as you get back from your trip" Tears stared to fall slowly bit by bit as Nicole talked "I'm sorry that I couldn't be a friend..." The tears started to run down, "So this is how it feels to be ignored...I just wished that my last words to you was words of gold...I'm sorry" Nicole hung up, curled herself in a ball and cried the rest of the night.

"Nicole" Nicole's mom knocked at her door.

"What is it mom?" Nicole tried to front her tone.

"Your friends down here"

"Who?"

"Jaebeom" Nicole quickly stood on her feet and open the door, walked past Mrs.Jung and headed downstairs towards Jaebeom.

"Jaebeom..." Nicole looked at him who was standing at the door.

"Can we go talk somewhere else?" He grabbed for Nicole's hands and the two headed out. Jaebeom and Nicole sat at the hilltop looking over Seoul. The snow started to fall one by one. "I'm sorry if I'm asking you to come out tongiht...especially since it's cold...and I see you've been crying"

"No it's fine, I need some fresh air anyways." Nicole sat not even looking at Jaebeom.

"Nicole..." Jaebeom pulled her body towards his. Nicole pulled away.

"I'm sorry...but I'm not cold" Nicole nudged his hands of her waist.

"I want to know...what am I too you?" There was silence, "I mean even though we aren't together...I know that I want to be with you...you're the only girl that makes me feel like I can be myself, and not have to fake to be someone I'm not."

"Next weeks graduation..." Nicole interrupted..."everything isn't falling to place..."

"Nicole.." Jaebeom grabbed for her hands.

"Jaebeom-Ah" Nicole stared into his eyes

"I'm leaving soon." Nicole's gave Jaebeom a surprised look on her face. "Before I go, I wanted...I wanted to take one thing with me..."

"Jaebeom..." Nicole felt her heart racing, she was about to get torn twice in one night. "After graduation?"

"After graduation" He responded flatly."But before I go...can I"

"Can you what?"

"Can I still have my date with you? Is there still us? Is there still a beginning not to see it end?" Nicole sat in silence....

"That date is still valid...Is there still going to be us, I don't know, is there still a beginning to not see it end, you should tell me...I'm not the one who's leaving you behind."

"What?" Jaebeom stare deeply into Nicole's eyes. "I'm not leaving because I want to, it's by force..." Nicole's eyes began to water, she felt her heart shaken to the words that stings her ears. She felt herself moved towards Jaebeom, for once she felt defeated...her hands slowly began to wrap around his waist, and she could feel his wrapping tightly around her.

"I'm tired of being left behind..." Nicole burst into a soft cried. "I'm tired of waiting..." Jaebeom lifted his left arms onto her head, and held Nicole tighter.

"Wait for me?" Jaebeom silently whispered. Nicole gently nod her head. "It'll be just four years I promise. Don't change stay beautiful.

**************On Graduation**************

After the ceremony, Nicole left to send Jaebeom off. Nicole sat in silent as Jaebeom held onto her hands.

"Nicole-Ah..." Jaebeom nudge Nicole lightly, "We're at the airport now" Nicole stared outside to a busy crowded street of people entering and exiting out of the airport. The two got out of the car and headed inside. Nicole clenched tighter onto Jaebeom's hand wishing she didn't have to let go and wait. "Wait here, I'll be right back" Jaebeom quickly went to stay in line to check himself in. Nicole stared she remember what had happened the night after she was leaving SeungYeon's party and Jaebeom was left behind by Nicole "It was dark now, the light started to die out as I walked down that streets, I remember his shadow standing there watching me walk away." Nicole silently spoke to herself "So this is how it feels to be seen from afar...you can't do anything but just stand like a fool.." Jaebeom made his way back, he gave Nicole a smile filled with warmness.

"I'm boarding soon" his smile turned into a frown..."You promise you'll wait?" Nicole tried the best to hold in her tears, and shock her head yes. "Thats my girl...I'll be back soon"

"Flight to Seattle is leaving in 5 minutes, those boarding please start heading towards exit G036 thank you" Jaebeom look back to his exit...

"You promise?" he asked once again.

"I Promise..." Nicole smiled

"Flight to Seattle is leaving in 5 minutes, those boarding please start heading towards exit G036 once again thank you" Nicole lean in to give Jaebeom one last hug, but found herself lips to lips with him, Jaebeom had leaned inward and kissed Nicole's lip. Nicole stood shock, Jaebeom leaned his head back and then gave Nicole a hug, with that he headed to his exit. Nicole stood watching as he enter those doors, not looking back once...she knew he couldn't..because if he had looked back he wouldn't have the urge to leave again. Nicole watch as his plane flown in the night sky and disappear.

Days, Months and Years passed. Nicole and Jaebeom wrote letters trying to keep in touch as possible. Nicole was at the tip of become a professional fashion designer. Jaebeom was almost done with law school.

Knock Knock
Nicole went to open her house door, she found a card at her doorstep.

"It must've been the mail-man..." Nicole thought. She closed the door and headed towards the living, she sat down and stared at the envelope that said "Your Invitation; Jung Nicole" Nicole open the card to find Jaebeom's name.

"You're invited to Park Jaebeom & Han SeungYeon's wedding on December 1 of 2009"

Nicole felt her heart shaken, she was shocked her best-friend...& the one person she had grew to love was now joining hand in hand, vows in vows to be together for the rest of there lives.

"This must be a dream...a bad dream" Nicole told herself..."SeungYeon would never do this too me...& especially not Jaebeom not him."

Thud Thud Thud Thud

Nicole awoken to her Alarm, she sat up fast, rubbed her eyes and stared outside...it's been months since Jaebeom had replied back to her letters. She had sent about a dozen of letters that had yet to be replied back.

"Has he really forgotten me?" Nicole sigh..."How long do I have to wait?" Nicole's door bell rung and she got up to open the door. Soon enough it was SeungYeon standing at the apartment door step.

"Yah! Nicole-ah why aren't you ready yet?! You're test is today hurry hurry !" SeungYeon scrambled into Nicole's apartment and drag Nicole to the bathroom. Nicole laughed and followed SeungYeon. "Why aren't you ready?! It's not funny"

"SeungYeon...are you okay? You did that to me yesterday already, I took my test remember" SeungYeon stood in defeat and her face flushed red.

"I..I know I just wanted to see what your reaction would me." SeungYeon went to sat down on the sofa..."There's something I need to talk to you that's why I came today." Nicole went to sit across from SeungYeon. "OH NO" Nicole thought to herself, this more horrible than my dream...what if she came to tell me her & Jae"

"Jaebeom's" SeungYeon interrupted Nicole's thought.

"Still no news on him?" Nicole question.

"I finally reached him" SeungYeon gave Nicole a small smile..."But what I tell you, you must not hold against him."

"I understand...what is it?"

"He wanted me to give you this." SeungYeon handed Nicole a letter. "He sent it to my house...he told me to bring it to you....I'll leave now." SeungYeon left the letter on the table and walked out. Nicole stared at the letter that she had been waiting for, BUT for some odd reason she didn't have the urge or tendency to open it. She felt lied to, she felt as if he was playing games on her. She slowly reached for the letter and opened it :

Dear Jung Nicole,
I'm sorry for the late reply...I'm doing fine don't worry about me. Each day I'm able to move a little farther with the thought of seeing you in a couple of months. There's so much that I need to tell you about. Wait for me...I'm coming home soon...soon.

Love,
Park Jaebeom

Nicole closed the letter with tears in her eyes. "Wait for me" Nicole repeated "Thats all he ever says...How long did I wait just to hear him say wait...this long?"

December 1, 2010 7:30 A.M.

knock knock
Nicole awoken, and went to open her door. As she unlocked and unchain her door, she felt uncertain...as she slowly open the door she found herself face to face with the one guy she had long waited for, the one she wanted to be with. Jaebeom stood with his head down, Nicole slowly walked towards him, and hugged him, he closed his eyes and tears fell, she felt his hands wrapping around her waist. She grabbed for his hand and lead him inside. She close the door behind.
Jaebeom sat silently. Nicole stood leaning to the wall.

"You seem different" Nicole talked first. He was silent. "Park Jae...."

"Nicole-Ah" Jaebeom interrupted. Nicole stood up straight now. He stared at Nicole and gave her a smile. "I want to take you somewhere tonight."

"Okay.."Nicole returned the smile. This was one of the most awkward situation she had been with him, he seemed different, unhappy, at least she thought he would've been happy to see her since the two have been away from each other more than 3years. "I'll be back to pick you up at 8 sharp" he stood him walked towards Nicole, leaned in to kiss her forehead and with that he headed out. Nicole felt her heart fall into a million pieces. She had waited and waited and waited for this? It was early morning, waiting until 8 seemed longer than the wait she had for him. All this time Nicole started to realize it was her who was waiting, it was her who hadn't changed.

Nicole did the usual daily chores around her apartment. She kept her eyes on the tiking clock that went to 12, then 4 then finally 7:50p.m she was all dressed in her trenched coat, with her jeans and a pair of her bear paw boats, he hair nicely curled. She sat silently, waiting on Jaebeom. 8:00p.m the door was silent. "I'll be back to pick you up at 8 sharp" once again, she had waited for disappointment. It was now 8:30 finally the door bell rung, Nicole turned off the lights and put on her shoes and open the door to see Jaebeom, he grabbed for her hands and smiled, Nicole closed the door and walked with him.

"I'm sorry I came a little late, you'll forgive me right?"

"I can't be mad at you" Nicole felt her lips sting with lies.

The two walked the streets of Seoul, Jaebeom took Nicole back to the same place they had been that Night after Taecyeon's funeral, they sat there at the hill top looking over Seoul, the night was cold, smelled of snow approaching soon.

"Nicole...I have something to tell you..."

"Oppa.." Nicole stood up and sat right in front of Jaebeom,"tell me."

"I feel like I'm the worst..." Jaebeom slowly shifted his eyes so that it'll meet gaze with Nicole's "I'm so sorry, but I think she should end everything here." Nicole slowly had her head down, she felt the rushing tears trying to escape her eyes.

"We're just not that same anymore, that's what hurts most, and at the end of the day I'm left with, what keeps holding you back?"Nicole looked at Jaebeom "I really don't understand you; I can't understand you, not no more."

Jaebeom stared at Nicole, with regrets wanting to hold onto her but he couldn't force himself to hold onto the one person he loved most.

"I've...I've made up my mind" Jaebeom stutter trying to spit the words out"... I'm sorry I let you down, I should probably get going" Jaebeom stood up, leaned over and handed Nicole a handkerchief "I'm sorry...I'm sorry that we aren't the same anymore, I'm sorry that I've changed."

Tears roar down Nicole's pale face, as she held tightly onto the handkerchief. As much as she wanted to run after Jaebeom, she couldn't force herself to linger onto him any longer.

"What made me think everything was going to work out," Nicole question herself deeply "why couldn't he cried, why couldn't he just look back." Nicole burst into tears.

The first snow fell onto the cold ground of South Seoul Korea, the night grew cold with lovers everywhere comforting there love ones, Jaebeom walked home on crowded street; trying to keep himself warm. He started to remember when he and Nicole would usually walk during the first snow fall.

"Have I done wrong?" as he looked up towards the sky "Have I finally decided it's the end?"

As Jaebeom question himself, images of Nicole crossed his mind. He looked around at the couples holding to one another to keep warm, he then cover himself up to keep warm and headed home. Nicole stood up and took one deep breathe.

"This winter, I'm all alone" Nicole whisper to herself.."I'm all alone like always..."

That week Jaebeom headed back home, but before he left he stop by Nicole's apartment, when he got there, all that was left was a letter at the door with his name on it. He took the letter put it in his bag and left. Nicole stared from a distance, she gave him on last smile, he got in the cab and left.

"You know its for the best Nicole" SeungYeon put her hands on Nicole's shoulders "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, he wouldn't let me..."

"It's okay," Nicole looked back at SeungYeon "I always knew he was a good guy. He did what was best, sometimes getting to the other side you have to let go of somethings you love."

"Nicole..."

"SeungYeon I'm okay...I hope he lives happily with her, I knew just by the way he talked, the way he ignored my letters the way he had wrote back to me, that there was someone new, someone he had found to love...I won't hold it against him"

As Jaebeom sat on his plane, he opened the letter Nicole had left for him :

"Dear Jaebeom Oppa,
The football jock that I had hated in High School, the guy that threw that football twice at me, you got me there. The guy that I never would have fallen for. You go on and be happy. Don't let the past get the best of you, I live in your past it's to fast that you can't go back to it. There must be a reason why I didn't make it to your future. I love you...that night when I sent you, you gave me a kiss, then you probably knew that was going to be our Last Kiss goodbye...I hated you, but I couldn't hate the one person I loved most. You told me not to change, you told me to wait for you...I haven't changed. You told me to wait...I can't wait forever, I can't wait for someone who isn't waiting on me...I can't wait for you when you already broke our ties...I love you this is our farewell."

P.S.
This is our Beginning just to see it End. I'm tired of being left behind. I'm tired of waiting. Good Luck to you.

With that Jaebeom put the letter away, he felt tears running down his eyes.

"I'm sorry Nicole...forgive me.."