I listened to what Chanyeol told me to do in his letter. Read one entry a day. That was all, after I was done, I wait for the next day. I kind of ended up just staying with Jongin. He cares for me and he helps me go all the pain I'm dealing with. It's been a few months, but not long enough that my heart is fixed.

Everyday the posts are pretty similar. Goofy and silly like him which only made me miss him more.

July 26th 

Happy Birthday to my beautiful angel. I was able to sneak a package to my mom to bring home to you. I hope you like it.

Septemember 13th

Today I had kimchi jigae for the first time ever since I got here. It wasn't as good as my angel's though. She makes it way better.

November 7th

Today, I learned how to use a military tank though I wasn't allowed to shoot of course. It's quite complicated and I may have fired one by accident making the outhouses explode? No one was in them thank god. Warning 1. Save me Beautiful.

Decemember 9th

I am allowed to go home for Christmas. Can't wait to see my angel and family. I missed them so much. Also today for dinner, we had some weird substance that apparently was tofu but I don't think so. Even Jongin agrees with me. 

February 10th

Today I got a package from mom, with a bunch of goodies. The guys and I are eating these quickly before they get confiscated.

April 28th

Spring is coming. Training has gotten much easier and my hard core abs thank them. Wait til my angel gets a load of these babies. Kyaaa ^^ i miss her so much.

May 1st

Today, Sehun accidently dropped his rifle on Com. Park's foot. Bye Sehun, I'll miss you buddy.

I finished with May 1st and closed the notebook. I had seen everything Chanyeol saw, felt, and heard when he was there. His notebook was a way to bring him back to life, if that made sense.

Sometimes at night, I did see him and we would hang out up there...wherever it was. We'd talk about me mostly and how I was doing. Frankly, I said I wasn't okay and I missed him alot. I know I can't lie when he sees everything. He told me that he sees me visiting his grave and crying, and he hates it. He doesn't want me to cry anymore and that if I am going to visit his grave, I should be happy and know he's okay. Last time I saw him was last week. 

We were swinging on tire swings that were held by a big tree. He called it the Tree Of Life because everytime he's near it, he feels alive again. Everything was starting to fade, and I was guessing Jongin was waking me up. Before I completely sepearted with Chanyeol he kissed me on my cheek and said something I would have never guessed,

"Listen Beautiful, Jongin is a really nice guy. I can tell he's starting to have feelings for you. I trust him with you." He kissed my forehead before waving away. 

I woke up to find Jongin peering over my bed, "You really got to stop scaring me, I've been shaking you for 5 minutes and no response. I didn't know you were such a heavy sleeper! I keep thinking you were gone..and that something bad happened." He blushed at the last part and looked away shly. 

I never noticed how cute he was when he was shy. I trust him with you....