Sehun walked down the hall to Yurim’s room. He knocked on the closed door, hoping to get Yurim’s attention. “Mom said to wash up. Lunch will be ready soon.” There was no answer, and he knew there wouldn’t be one, but he waited a minute before going to the kitchen to help set the table.

 

“You really don’t know what’s wrong with her?”

 

“Sorry, Mom. I’m about as clueless as you are.” Sehun said as he pulled out a few plates. He contemplated not pulling out a plate for Yurim, but decided it would be better to have her seat set in case she came out.

 

When Yurim came home the night before, it was already quite late and Sehun was getting ready to go to sleep. His parents were still awake, finishing up some paperwork for the store. They did not notice Yurim’s odd behavior when she walked inside, but Sehun saw that something was wrong the second he laid eyes on her. She was too…out of it. It was like she was numb to the rest of the world. Sehun grabbed her by the arm before she could go to her room.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

End of conversation. Yurim pulled away from Sehun and he let her go freely. He knew something was up, and he had a gut feeling that a certain heartbreaker was the reason for it, but the lack of proof meant he was safer keeping his mouth shut. Sehun let Yurim be for the rest of the night, figuring she would get over it after a nice long sleep.

 

He was wrong.

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

Kris was normally not one to worry. Especially when Yurim was the kind of person who was very attentive to her phone. But the thing was that it is impossible to be 100% certain about a person when you cannot see their face and you have to read their emotions though pixels and digitized faces.

 

To: Babe
You didn’t text me when you got home.

From: Babe
Sorry, I was tired and fell asleep the second I got to my room OTL

To: Babe
I was really worried. I asked Sehun cause you weren’t answering me, either.

From: Babe
Sorry… >.< btw kinda busy with homework so I probs wont be free all weekend.

To: Babe
Okay. Call me if you need a break I guess.

From: Babe
Thanks <3

 

On paper, the texts were pretty normal. But the fact that Yurim had not texted Kris the night before worried him a lot and even more so that she had not said anything the following morning. He knows people can slip up, but it was still disconcerting.

 

Kris was looking forward to spending a little time with Yurim, too, but he knew that she needed to take care of her studies. So, Kris did what Kris did best: improvise.

 

To: Xing
You free to chill today?

 

Yixing jumped when he felt his phone vibrate against his leg. He was half-way to a nap when the piece of glorified plastic ripped him from it. Admittedly, the last hour was spent trying to sleep against all bodily objections in the forms of violent coughs and loud sneezes so his phone going off was not that much different.

To: Kris
Fever. Tired. Sick. No.

 

Kris sighed and made a mental note to go check up on Yixing and bring him medicine. The boy was good at looking after everyone, but utterly oblivious to what his own body needed. Kyungsoo was good at looking after Yixing, but he’d been so busy with a presentation he was spending nights with his groupmates from what Kris understood. Joonmyun was generally on top of things as well, but he, was likely busy with his classes and ruining other people’s love lives.

 

To: Tao
You free? Wanna hang out?

 

Tao glanced at his phone. He momentarily questioned when Kris got a hold of his number, then remembered they exchanged numbers the night before.

 

“Text me when you get home.”

 

Tao felt his cheeks heat up a bit when the words came back to him. He never had anyone care enough to make sure he got home safe – he was the bodyguard to his friends, after all – and of all people Kris was the last person he expected to be concerned. He texted Kris after getting inside and was a little shocked that Kris bothered to text back a “thank you”. It’s not that Tao thought Kris was a bad guy. Kris just doesn’t seem like the overly doting type.

 

To: Wufan
Yeah sure. Want me to bring your jacket, too?

 

From: Wufan
Please do. Meet me at the StarJar and then we can decide where to go from there?

 

Tao looked at the time. 9:29 AM. Traffic would be light so it would be unlikely for the buses to run late.

 

To: Wufan
Okay, I’ll be there in 30 minutes.

 

Tao quickly changed out of his sleeping clothes and into a pair of jeans and shirt. He threw on a thick sweatshirt over his favorite graphic tee. Tao did not want to go out unprepared like the night before; the cool temperature lasted through the night and was predicted to stay all day. He grabbed his backpack and threw in his wallet, keys, and Kris’ jacket before slinging it over his shoulder.

 

“Going to meet a friend, I’ll be back later. Bye, Mom!”

 

“Be careful! It’s supposed to rain so bring a jac-“ Tao was out the door before his mom could finish her sentence.

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

Yurim threw another book to the side. She spent the better part of the morning trying to get through her Korean history textbook, then moved on to her Calculus 124 homework before giving up and reading a chapter out of Iliad. When she found herself reading the same four lines over and over again, she sighed in defeat and elected to give her brain a break.

 

She took a look at her notes and groaned when she realized the chicken scratch was just as garbled as it looked.

 

It was hardly even a second. There was no way Yurim should be reading this much into a single second. There were so many other seconds in her life that she could have read in to, but damnit all because one second was apparently all it took and it happened to be this second.

 

Yurim laid on her back and stretched out on her bed, but her stomach still felt tighter than knots no matter what she did to straighten it out. If fact, every time she moved, it felt like the knot got worse. She thought over everything that could possibly be relevant to the twisted feeling in her gut. Nothing. She screamed into her pillow as frustration set in.

 

Really, though…what was that… she sat up and tried to shake her head of the lingering image. The entire night, she revisited the moment on the bus when she saw Joonmyun. The moment would come and go, quickly replaced by another moment, sometimes even a flashback of when things were nice.

 

A hand running through her hair.

 

A protective hug in the middle of a scary movie.

 

“Yurim, let’s-“

 

Stupid Joonmyun. Stupid memories. Stupid…stupid.

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

The one thing Tao hated about the StarJar was that it was a hassle to get to. But it didn’t cross his mind to ask Kris to change meeting places until he was out the door and half way there. He was just excited to get out of the house. Other than school and EXO, and more recently work, he hardly left his house so he jumped at the chance to be anywhere but home.

 

“Sorry for making you wait!” He said as he ran up to Kris. Tao bent over to catch his breath after running the last couple blocks. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?” he asked as he straitened out.

 

Kris shook his head. “Just a couple minutes. So,” Kris slung an arm around Tao’s shoulders. “Where shall we go? Are you hungry or anything?”

 

“Uh…” Tao thought for a second. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he had been craving a latte now that he thought about it.

 

Kris walked them to a café near his workplace. He was a frequent customer so the waitresses and baristas knew him well. “The usual for me, and a latte for him. For here. And one of those.”

 

Tao glanced at the display case as the waitress pulled out a blueberry muffin and carefully placed it on a small plate before offering it to Kris. Kris takes the plate and drags Tao to a free table near the windows. “Put it on the tab, please!” He called over his shoulder.

 

Tao felt a bit out of place all of a sudden. It wasn’t so much the place, but the way Kris was so smooth was intimidating. He took another good look at the interior design of the café: chic but so very welcoming, a bit pricey, but the pastries looked worth it. And if the strong scent of fresh ground coffee from the barista station was any hint, the coffee was probably worth it, too.

 

“Have some. They make them fresh every morning.” Kris pushed the muffin towards Tao after breaking off a small piece for himself. Tao grabbed a bit of the muffin that had a small piece of blueberry baked into it. He popped it into his mouth and enjoyed the subtle sweetness that invaded his taste buds. He quickly at his fingers to get the bits that stuck to his skin. “I guess you like it? Feel free to have more. I come here often enough.” Kris grabbed another piece and threw it into his mouth as the waitress brought their drinks. Tao greedily sipped his latte while Kris savored his americano.

 

Between bites and drinks, Tao and Kris caught up a little more on each other’s lives. Tao went into more depth about his current family situation, and Kris informed Tao on his plans to go back to school for a masters degree – once he saves up the money, of course.

 

“What about Yurim? You guys don’t see each other much as is.”

 

“We’ll deal with it when it comes. I don't really want to think about it now. I’m not even sure I’ll go back to school,” Kris adds, “it’s more of an ideal than a set-in-stone plan. I’d love to go back, but it’s so expensive and I just can’t swing that now. Plus I do like my job and it would be hard for me to just leave.”

 

Tao nodded in understanding. Ever since his dad became ill, Tao was much more aware of his spending and rationing habits, realizing that he had to figure out which things he needed more than others and being crafty to compensate for things he just couldn’t afford at the time. “That’s good, though, a better degree will probably mean you’ll get a better job.”

 

“I hope so.” Kris said somewhat dully. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint the parents…” Being the filial and only child he was, Kris felt obligated to do this much. He was fairly content with his current job though he did have other offers lined up and a surprisingly strong network for someone only a year out of college. Some offers were arguably better than his current situation, but Kris did not want to move out of the city, nor commit to more late nights than he absolutely must. In a perfect world, the stronger degree would mean nothing but good. Kris was smart enough to not think so naively. “Well, more so than I may already have getting a degree in English and Korean.”

 

Tao tried to hide the laugh that built up, but he knew Kris already heard a few strangled noises if the glare Kris is sending his way meant anything. Kris was just so composed and pulled together it’s easy to forget that he’s quite submissive towards his parents. The image of a 6’ 1” Kris bowing down to his 5’2” mother was a bit comical, to say the least.

 

The two stayed in their seats long after they finished their drinks and the muffin had been reduced to crumbs. Countless customers came and went before Kris noticed they had been sitting for almost two hours.

 

“Want to get out of here?”

 

“Where would we go?” Tao asked as he stared at his empty cup, unsuccessfully willing the latte to refill itself. He pouted and missed the way Kris was staring at him so endearingly.

 

“It’s still a little cold out for a bike ride or some hoops. We could crash at my place and watch some TV?”

 

“Not much of a TV person, to be honest.” Tao admitted. “I don’t mind the cold, but if you want to stay inside we could...”

 

“Arcade?”

 

“You, a grown man, just suggested we go to an arcade?” Tao stared at him but Kris returned the look with a mere of the head. “You’re serious?”

 

“Yes,” Kris got up and bussed the table before grabbing Tao by the wrist, “now come.” and dragging him out the door.

 

Tao stumbled along behind Kris, struggling to keep his bag on his shoulder while being dragged by his arm and garnering funny looks from passer-bys. He managed to catch his footing before crossing the first street, at least.

 

He really doubted Kris would take him to an arcade, yet each turn took them closer to the back half of downtown that was known for the plethora of arcades, bowling alleys, and noraebangs that lined the streets. There was a popular arcade that Tao did frequent with Kai, but Kris took him even farther down the streets. He was not very familiar with this deep part of downtown so he quickened his steps to match Kris’ pace better.

 

Kris turned into a small, dark store lit up with blinding neon lights. Tao could barely read the words through the glare, but he believed he saw ‘The Nuk’ spelled out above the painted wood door.

 

“Kris, are you sure about this place?” Tao asked as the door creaked shut behind them, “This does not exactly look like the nicest place downtown has to offer.”

 

“It’s fine, I know these guys.” Kris continued to pull Tao along to the countertop as he flashed a gummy smile at the man standing at the register. “Amber, this is Tao.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Tao.” Oh, never mind that’s not a man. The surprise must have been evident on Tao’s face if the way Kris had turned to hide a laugh meant anything.

 

“Ignore him. Trust me, you’ll be better off.” Amber said before addressing Kris. The two talked as Tao got a better look at the place. It was definitely an arcade, though the decor and lined up billiards tables in the back screamed otherwise, but Tao didn’t feel like a ten year-old boy with a picket full of coins to spend. He felt like a broke twenty year-old college student with no business at this sort of establishment. He was lost in his thoughts until he felt something taping his arm.

 

“What’s this?” Tao asked as he took a flimsy card from Kris.

 

“A game card,” Kris answered, hint of playful mocking present, “you just swipe it at the machines and you’re good to go. Most games are just two credits. You can reload the card at this kiosk or an automated machine.”

 

Tao scrambled for his wallet buried in the depths of his bag, “How much-“

 

“100 credits worth, and don’t you dare think about paying me back.” Kris added before Tao could pull out any money. “You’re doing me a favor just being here.”

 

Tao’s eyes went wide for a brief moment before he silently nodded his thanks. He turned to Amber to thank her, too, before he and Kris wandered off to play.

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

Joonmyun managed to keep any problems he had away from Yixing and Kyungsoo. Fortunately(?) Yixing was sick and too busy cocooning himself in every blanked he could find and Kyungsoo was still off with his classmates working on a presentation.

 

Unfortunately, that meant Joonmyun was left alone to think about the night before. The look on Yurim’s face before she looked away was of both surprise and pain and Joonmyun wondered if his expression mirrored hers. It was easy enough to realize then than Yurim was the one staring at Joonmyun, too. He pushed away the bowl of cereal he poured himself even though he only took two bites. He was already full, or maybe he wasn’t hungry at all and was trying to keep his normal routine going, and looking at the remaining food put a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

For a second, Joonmyun was mad. Why hadn’t she said anything? Why did she just stare at me? A wave of panic set in and his head was filled with enough what if’s and I wonder if’s to fill the grand canyon before he felt a rush of insecurity take over. His stomach turned and he could feel pressure build up in the back of his mouth and before long he was bent over the bathroom sink, dry heaving.

 

It hurt. It hurt so much. His stomach tried to wring itself dry and he felt like he was choking on air. His chest was about to implode and crush every organ in his body while his heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.

 

He stayed hunched over the sink long after his stomach stopped lurching, bracing his hands on the mirror to help keep himself up. Joonmyun looked up at his reflection and he looked thoroughly wrecked. His eyes were bloodshot and twitching, and he could see the deep bags forming under his eyes. His hair was a mess, too. Cringing, Joonmyun splashed his face with cold water and rinsed out his mouth to get rid of the stale saliva lining his tongue.

 

Guilt never felt so gross.

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

It was close to 5PM when Kris managed to go to Yixing’s place. Tao had been called home for an early dinner and Kris insisted on at least driving Tao to a bus stop that was not situated in a shady part of down town. Why Tao was so reluctant to have Kris drive him all the way home was beyond Kris, but he decided not to pry. Before heading home himself, Kris swung by the drug store to pick up cold medicine for Yixing.

 

When he knocked on the door, he expected Joonmyun would be answering. What he did not expect was the troll that stared back at him before moving aside to let him in.

 

“Uhm…”

 

“Don’t. Please. Just…” Joonmyun retreated to the living room space and turning into a couch potato. Kris stared for a good minute before shaking himself back to his senses and toeing off his shoes. He walked down the hall to Yixing’s room.

 

The door opened easily and light pierced the pitch black darkness. Sheets ruffling and a low groan came from the bed.

 

“Yixing, I brought you some medicine.”

 

There were muffled noises from under the covers, so Kris assumed Yixing was telling him to put the medicine down on the table and to let him sleep.

 

“Fell better.” He said before walking out and closing the door behind him. Joonmyun was still awkwardly sprawled out on the couch staring at an infomercial for a vacuum when Kris passed by. It looked like a normal scene, but Kris was worried when he saw Joonmyun feed himself a chip and he miss his mouth by a good four inches.

 

“Hey Joonmyun, you okay?” Kris was worried, but he felt more obligated to ask as a social courtesy than as a friend. Or whatever they were.

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“Sure?”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“Okay, well I’ll just head out now. If you could come lock the door behind me…”

 

“Mhmm.” But Joonmyun stayed in his seat.

 

Kris put on his shoes and waited a minute before walking out. He turned the doorknob lock and hoped Joonmyun would remember to get the deadbolt lock.

 

Joonmyun got up once he could no longer hear Kris’ footsteps. He trudged over to the door and turned the deadbolt lock, letting his head fall forward onto the hardwood door before he curled into a ball.

 

“Sorry…”

 

----------

a/n
OTL sorry for the long wait and only coming back with a short update. classes started and i moved into an appartment and /life T.t

also, if you notice awkard tense inconsistencies, then appologies. Unbeta'd and I was writting this at the same time as the Black Pearl entry for my Teaser Era collection and All Falls Down oneshot and I think I was confusing myself with the tenses.