"let's break up." he finally said.

a tear immediately fell when the words got into my head. slowly, followed by another, and another...

"why?" I sobbed.

"it's the best for us."

"why? because of our relationship might expose? we have gone through so much. that's no big deal at all. we can go through that together, kris." I muffled.

"no. it can't." he then mumbled something I couldn't hear, but I could read his lips, "I'm the burden here. I'm sorry. i'm doing this, for you." 

"it can. trust me. don't leave me, I love you, kris. I finally accepted you in my heart. I really love you now. you mean so much to me. we even... I even- we even almost have . I wouldn't let someone who just do that to me. if is all you want, I can do it with you. just please, kris I-"

"stop it!" he shouted. "I have never loved you at all. that time I just needed release. what do you see me as? a maniac? I can't believe you think so lowly of me," he scoffed.

"no... I'm not meaning that... but don't leave me... I can change for you?" 

"don't have to. your existence irks me." that sentence. I'm officially ing done with you, kris. I stopped sobbing, and glared coldly at him.

I laughed sarcastically. " you bastard!" I spatted and him before I leave. that er. goodbye.

kris' pov

I chose to broke up with her before new year so it wouldn't be so pain for her in the new year since she is going to debut. I granted her wish. to be an idol. because it looks like I have done my part and do my task, it's the right time to leave her. I gathered all my courage to meet her and break up with her.
 
because she keep used the excuse of the reveal of our relationship, I got so fed up and I said a really mean word without thinking twice. with that, her face changed and she spatted me vulgar before she leave. you'll forgot about me soon before you know it see. you'll be better without me. but no matter, I still love you. goodbye, si...

si's pov

I didn't care. I just came back to sm building crying my lungs out. 

"si?" that familiar voice I used to spazzed about.

I turned around. taemin?

my idol. my bias. seeing me the first time, worse thing is that he is seeing me crying.

"how do you know me?" I muffled.

"I knew you long time ago. I sent a letter to you. remember? through luhan? heard that you're my fan" he smiled. "let's not talk about it now, come on, follow me" he said as he held me.

"how do you know I'm that si?" I asked.

"it's so obvious even though I have never met you, come on!" he said. wow, taemin isn't that dumb.

I couldn't fangirl at my state. I finally opened my heart to him, but this is what he did to me? 

I started to think back what he was mumbling just now.

"I'm the burden here. I'm sorry. i'm doing this, for you." 

there was no link from what he was shouting just now. there's something... more than this... I knew kris wasn't that bad hearted. maybe he wasn't feeling good... I'll talk to him again. next time.

taemin brought me to his dorm. but by then, I stopped crying.

"what is happening? do you need me to call luhan?"

"no. don't." I said firmly.

luhan. luhan, is luhan part of this? did... kris found out about us?

"would you like to tell me what happen? I know we just met, but it's your choice."

"can I trust you? aha, it's okay. anyway we're already over" I laughed sarcastically. I made myself sucha fool to taemin.

"over?" he asked.

"I... was in a relationship with kris. only exo knows it. he just called me out and broke up with me."

"what?! why?" he exclaimed.

"I have no idea. but I feel that he knows about me and luhan." why am I telling so much? just because he is my bias? well, I need a listening ear right now. I can't bottoms up everything. I'll explode.

"what? he doesn't know? I mean that isn't much big deal"

"it is to him. he told me luhan always talk about his first love and everything. he probably realized and want us be together. I don't see any reason why he just broke up with me like this."

"you should give him so time. he's probably upset about breaking you two apart. he felt like a burden one." taemin said. wow. he figured it fast.

"I'm the burden here. I'm sorry. i'm doing this, for you." 
"he's probably upset about breaking you two apart. he felt like a burden one." 

so what he mean by doing it for me is for me to reunite with luhan?

at least the kris I knew wasn't mean. he did it for a reason. 

I have been spending way too much time with luhan instead of kris, and the way sm put me and luhan together. I finally got this.

"yes taemin. I know he isn't mean. I'll talk to him some day." he said.

"good," he smiled.

"thanks for being my listening ear. I'm glad you'll my idol." I smiled.

"sounds like a little confession there, huh?" he said playfully.

"hey!" I whacked taemin. "ouch!" we seems to be friends really fast.

I walked out from shinee dorm and taemin gave me a hug. my eyes widened and my heart pumped really fast.

he pulled back and saw my reaction. he apologized. "oh, I'm sorry! I got used to hugging people who needs comfort"

"it's okay, I really felt better after that hug" I giggled, "it was really nice to meet you. so, thanks again, and bye!" 

on the way back, I walked past kris. he looked like he just cried too. instead of comforting him, I acted like I didn't see him and just walked past him, happily like nothing has happened. we... became strangers.

________________

//adds dramatic sound effect dUM DUM DUM- surprise shinee member! big drama ahead = si's childhood idol, taemin

sorry the chapters are recently getting shorter and shorter again! dont worry, next week has probably three times longer than this!