Five years ago…

 

“Hello Chanyeol?” Hahyun picked up her phone as she expected to hear Chanyeol’s husky deep voice on the other end of the phone. Instead, that was not what she gotten.

“Hi, is this Hahyun? This is Hyura, we were in the same class back in highschool.”

Still stumbled by the unexpected voice, Hahyun responded, stuttering.

“Ah… yes Hyura, I remember you… what’s wrong?” Hahyun was about to ask why she has Chanyeol’s phone, but she forgot that they were… dating. It was a reality that Hahyun could not entirely accept. She felt like a part of her was gone since Chanyeol spent less and less time with her. Although they both went to the same college, but distance just grew.  

“Oh, Chanyeol… he drank a bit too much, and I was wondering if you could pick him up… We’re at that pojangmacha (small tented restaurants) close to Donggyoro street. I have to leave soon, and I’m taking the taxi so I could not take him with me…”

“What? Gosh Chanyeol… alrighty then… I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Thanks Hyura.” Hahyun rapidly hung up and changed out of her pajamas. She slipped on her favorite pair of baby blue converse sneakers and grabbed her car key on her way out.

As she was driving, thoughts were filling her head. It seemed very out of character for Chanyeol to drink too much. In parties, he was always the one who never drink so that he could take care of other people.

“Something must be up…” Hahyun thought as she parked her car and hurriedly ran to the pojangmacha. When she got there, she immediately saw Hyura who greeted her with a slightly smudged mascara. Hahyun knew exactly why, she must have cried. Obviously.

“Thank goodness Hahyun! Here, Chanyeol is here…” Hyura directed Hahyun to the table on the far left corner of the tent. Chanyeol had his head on the table with bottles of soju right in front of him.

“Chanyeol! Wake up! I have to take you home and I have 8 AM class tomorrow. Hurry!” Hahyun nudged Chanyeol on his left shoulder. Chanyeol looked up at Hahyun. His face was very red, obviously too drunk.

“Hahyun!” He smiled and then laughed uncontrollably. “Why are you here! Do you care that much about me?”

“Of course I do! Gosh, let’s go shall we?” Hahyun was being very sarcastic.  She was lucky enough that Chanyeol was sober enough to walk by himself towards her car. As they left, she nodded to Hyura, thanking her for letting her know about this and secretly feeling bitter about having to leave house at 2 AM. After Chanyeol went in the car, Hahyun put on his seatbelt for him and rushed to the driver’s seat.

“Listen, I’ll take your car key and after class at noon tomorrow, I’ll come here and pick up your car. Come to my apartment anytime tomorrow when you’re totally sober and not causing commotion ok?” Hahyun instructed Chanyeol as he listened, probably half awake. He dug in his jeans and took out his car key, placing it on Hahyun’s car’s dashboard.

“Hahyun… Thank you…” He whispered and then fell asleep.

Hahyun knew Chanyeol was not completely awake, but she just mumbled back, “No problem.”

When they arrived at Chanyeol’s apartment, Hahyun made some tea for him before leaving. She peeked into his bedroom to make sure he was sleeping properly, on the bed not on the floor. As she was about to leave, Chanyeol scared Hahyun and said “I broke up with…” Before he finished talking, he started sobbing. Hahyun thought to herself “I guess I will have to skip class tomorrow morning…”

She took off her sneakers and came in Chanyeol’s room. This is her first time in his room. She quickly scanned the room, seeing all the books neatly stacked on his table. There was an acoustic guitar by his television. Hahyun remembered when he used to go to school everyday carrying his acoustic guitar so that he could jam anywhere and everywhere. She loves it when he sings and raps. They would sometime just sit in the school’s playground and just sing their hearts out.

Hahyun came closer to Chanyeol and sat on a sofa by his bedside. “Why?” she asked so quietly almost like a whisper. She was not sure whether she should ask, but that seemed like the most appropriate respond she should give.

“I didn’t love her…”

Hahyun did not respond. She was afraid of cutting the wound in his heart even deeper. She decided that she would simply listen.

“I thought I loved her, I mean, I thought I could love her, but it turns out I could not… There’s this constant voice in my head telling me there is someone I love more… Someone I could give more of my time and energy to…” Chanyeol trailed off.

Hahyun sat in silence for several minutes as she watched Chanyeol covering his face under his comforter.

“I tried to shove her away from my mind… I also stopped coming to church cause I know she’s always there… I stopped calling her and talking to her… but all that efforts are just useless. I can never genuinely smile at the things Hyura said. But when I’m with her, a smile is plastered on my face every second, by default. I would smile, like, every time. Even when she does the silliest things…”

Hahyun tried to digest everything in. In her head, she skimmed through different girls she knew knows Chanyeol. Then silence creeped in. Hahyun knew she has to say something.

“I think… you’re doing the right thing…” She said, without thinking much as she was still completely distracted, trying to find out who that girl Chanyeol was talking about.

Chanyeol finally puts his comforter down and looked at Hahyun with tired and swollen eyes. “I also stopped going to the bakery down the street cause I know she works there. Who do you think she is Hahyun?” Chanyeol asked Hahyun as if he could read through her mind.

Hahyun caught Chanyeol’s gaze and realized the truth. She works in the bakery. It was her and always been her.  

“Do you love me Hahyun?” Chanyeol held Hahyun’s tiny hand.

Hahyun nodded nervously, “Of course I do… you’re like my own brother…”

“Can you stop loving me as a brother and love me as a man dammit!” Chanyeol half shouted as he sat on his bed. “Hahyun, please…”  

Hahyun did not move an inch. She was still shocked at her best friend’s sudden confession. Everything just seems to happen very quickly. As much as she likes Chanyeol’s companion, she never thought of dating him. As she sat, Chanyeol inched closer to her and held her chin. He pulled Hahyun’s face and placed his lips on hers. Hahyun tried shoving him away but he was too strong, and also, part of her also wanted it. She wanted him for the longest time. She placed her hands on his neck and hugged him tightly. Hahyun, broke the kiss first and looked at Chanyeol.

“My God… what just happened?” Hahyun laughed and Chanyeol laughed along with her.

“Hahyun, can I call you mine now?” Chanyeol whispered right beside Hahyun’s ear as he tucked her hair behind her ears.

“I love you… Ever since you thought me to love the rain…” Chanyeol continued. “I really do love you.”

“I don’t love you Chanyeol. I hate you…”

“What? Why?”

“I hate you for making me realize my own feelings…” Hahyun tried hiding her blushed cheeks.

Chanyeol looked at Hahyun. He was beaming with joy. They sat in silence and Hahyun then realized what just happened. It was very out of her character. Hahyun stood up, leaving Chanyeol a bit dazed and told him “You know what? You should tell me all the things you told me today again tomorrow. Alright? I got to go.”  She took her bag and stormed out of the room. Before that, she peeked inside for one last time and told Chanyeol “Hey, sober up man.” As she walked towards her car in the parking lot, she finds herself smiling and giggling to herself. She really could not believe what just happened. Hahyun has always been a goody two shoes. If this were some other guy, she would not have accepted him. She was too scared to hurt Hyura’s feelings. However, it was Chanyeol and she just could not resist him. His gravity was pulling her way too strongly. Little did she know that she was not the only one feeling this way. Chanyeol was up in his room, smilling widely to himself as he dozed off. “This is going to be a great night…” He muttered to himself and was lost in his dreams.